Advertising
Advertising

8 Reasons Why You Have The Power To Choose For Your Life

8 Reasons Why You Have The Power To Choose For Your Life

You have the power to choose the type of life you want to live. You aren’t a victim of bad circumstances, bad luck, or a bad childhood. Instead, you can take control and create whatever type of life you want.

1. You Have Control Over Your Behavior

You can’t control everything in life but you certainly do control your behavior. You can control how you react to setbacks and how you choose to spend your time.

Take a look at your daily habits and how they impact your life. Bad habits such as spending too much time watching TV, drinking too much alcohol, or spending too much money can hold you back from reaching your full potential. Create healthy habits and accept responsibility for your behavior and you’ll see positive changes in your life.

Advertising

2. You Have the Power to Choose to Work Hard

You can choose how much work you want to do and what type of you work you want. If you choose to work hard, you’ll see positive results. Even if you start in a low paying job, hard work can get you promoted or open doors to new opportunities.

You also have the power to change the type of work you do. You can open your own business, change careers whenever you want, or further your education.

3. You Make Choices Every Single Day

Every day you wake up with the power to choose what you’re going to. You decide what to wear, what to eat, and what to do. Each choice you make impacts your chance for success in life. Make choices that will help you succeed in life.

Advertising

4. You Control Who You Keep for Company

Even though you can’t choose your biological relatives, you have the power to choose who to spend your time with. Spend time with people who are inspirational, motivational, and positive. It can do a lot for your energy level and outlook on life. Be willing to join volunteer organizations and meet with influential people to find people who are making positive change.

5. You Can Set Your Own Goals

Without goals, you won’t have a clear direction of where you are going in life. Establish goals for your finances, your time, and your career. Once you have something that you’re working toward, it will help you to stay motivated to make good choices.

6. Failure Doesn’t Mean You Stop Trying

The most successful people in the world aren’t defined by their failures. Instead, they’re defined by their success. They all share one thing in common though–they failed several times before they got it right.

Advertising

Expect failure in life. If you don’t experience any failures, it’s likely you haven’t taken any risks. Learn from failure and use it to motivate you to keep going until you get it right.

7. You Have the Power to Choose Your Future

If you had a terrible childhood or you’ve made a lot of mistakes in the past, you don’t have to allow that to define the rest of your life. You have the power to choose your future.

Create the type of future you feel like you were really meant to live. Make changes and work hard to become the person you feel like you are meant to be. With hard work and determination, you can create any type of life you want for yourself.

Advertising

8. You Have the Power to Choose Your Attitude

You have the power to choose the type of attitude you want to have in life. The way you react to problems, setbacks and angry people says a lot about you. Choosing to have a positive, compassionate, and determined attitude can mean the difference between feeling sorry for yourself and creating the life you always dreamed of living.

More by this author

Amy Morin

A psychotherapist, psychology instructor, keynote speaker, and the author of the bestselling book 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do

10 Things To Remember When Everything Goes Wrong How to Think Positive Thoughts When Feeling Negative 12 Ways To Improve Social Skills And Make You Sociable Anytime 6 Mistakes That Keep You Struggling in Life And Stuck 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do

Trending in Communication

1 40 Acts of Kindness to Make the World a Better Place 2 6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak 3 How to Train Your Brain to Be Optimistic 4 How to Stop Living on Autopilot with Antonio Neves 5 The Gentle Art of Saying No For a Less Stressful Life

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on August 6, 2020

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

We’ve all done it. That moment when a series of words slithers from your mouth and the instant regret manifests through blushing and profuse apologies. If you could just think before you speak! It doesn’t have to be like this, and with a bit of practice, it’s actually quite easy to prevent.

“Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another.” – Napolean Hill

Are we speaking the same language?

My mum recently left me a note thanking me for looking after her dog. She’d signed it with “LOL.” In my world, this means “laugh out loud,” and in her world it means “lots of love.” My kids tell me things are “sick” when they’re good, and ”manck” when they’re bad (when I say “bad,” I don’t mean good!). It’s amazing that we manage to communicate at all.

When speaking, we tend to color our language with words and phrases that have become personal to us, things we’ve picked up from our friends, families and even memes from the internet. These colloquialisms become normal, and we expect the listener (or reader) to understand “what we mean.” If you really want the listener to understand your meaning, try to use words and phrases that they might use.

Am I being lazy?

When you’ve been in a relationship for a while, a strange metamorphosis takes place. People tend to become lazier in the way that they communicate with each other, with less thought for the feelings of their partner. There’s no malice intended; we just reach a “comfort zone” and know that our partners “know what we mean.”

Advertising

Here’s an exchange from Psychology Today to demonstrate what I mean:

Early in the relationship:

“Honey, I don’t want you to take this wrong, but I’m noticing that your hair is getting a little thin on top. I know guys are sensitive about losing their hair, but I don’t want someone else to embarrass you without your expecting it.”

When the relationship is established:

“Did you know that you’re losing a lot of hair on the back of your head? You’re combing it funny and it doesn’t help. Wear a baseball cap or something if you feel weird about it. Lots of guys get thin on top. It’s no big deal.”

It’s pretty clear which of these statements is more empathetic and more likely to be received well. Recognizing when we do this can be tricky, but with a little practice it becomes easy.

Have I actually got anything to say?

When I was a kid, my gran used to say to me that if I didn’t have anything good to say, I shouldn’t say anything at all. My gran couldn’t stand gossip, so this makes total sense, but you can take this statement a little further and modify it: “If you don’t have anything to say, then don’t say anything at all.”

A lot of the time, people speak to fill “uncomfortable silences,” or because they believe that saying something, anything, is better than staying quiet. It can even be a cause of anxiety for some people.

When somebody else is speaking, listen. Don’t wait to speak. Listen. Actually hear what that person is saying, think about it, and respond if necessary.

Am I painting an accurate picture?

One of the most common forms of miscommunication is the lack of a “referential index,” a type of generalization that fails to refer to specific nouns. As an example, look at these two simple phrases: “Can you pass me that?” and “Pass me that thing over there!”. How often have you said something similar?

Advertising

How is the listener supposed to know what you mean? The person that you’re talking to will start to fill in the gaps with something that may very well be completely different to what you mean. You’re thinking “pass me the salt,” but you get passed the pepper. This can be infuriating for the listener, and more importantly, can create a lack of understanding and ultimately produce conflict.

Before you speak, try to label people, places and objects in a way that it is easy for any listeners to understand.

What words am I using?

It’s well known that our use of nouns and verbs (or lack of them) gives an insight into where we grew up, our education, our thoughts and our feelings.

Less well known is that the use of pronouns offers a critical insight into how we emotionally code our sentences. James Pennebaker’s research in the 1990’s concluded that function words are important keys to someone’s psychological state and reveal much more than content words do.

Starting a sentence with “I think…” demonstrates self-focus rather than empathy with the speaker, whereas asking the speaker to elaborate or quantify what they’re saying clearly shows that you’re listening and have respect even if you disagree.

Advertising

Is the map really the territory?

Before speaking, we sometimes construct a scenario that makes us act in a way that isn’t necessarily reflective of the actual situation.

A while ago, John promised to help me out in a big way with a project that I was working on. After an initial meeting and some big promises, we put together a plan and set off on its execution. A week or so went by, and I tried to get a hold of John to see how things were going. After voice mails and emails with no reply and general silence, I tried again a week later and still got no response.

I was frustrated and started to get more than a bit vexed. The project obviously meant more to me than it did to him, and I started to construct all manner of crazy scenarios. I finally got through to John and immediately started a mild rant about making promises you can’t keep. He stopped me in my tracks with the news that his brother had died. If I’d have just thought before I spoke…

Read Next