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7 Ways To Make Friends As An Introvert

7 Ways To Make Friends As An Introvert

The feeling of loneliness can be a painful reality for some introverts.

Introverts value time, space and energy. Making “friends” as an introvert can feel like another thing to-do. There are several ways to make this “challenge” interesting, and even more adventurous. Below are some ways to make friends as an introvert, and maintain control of your environment without losing your energy.

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1. Start a meetup group

Take the initiative and create your own community. Starting your own community gives you the chance to “hand-pick” the people you want in your circle. Carefully crafted, meetup.com gives you access to a wealth of new social connections without being stuck in somebody else’s group. Choose a hobby or interest you love, create an event, and cap it at 5, 10 or even 20 people. Find a number that makes you feel comfortable. Be sure to include questions for new members to answer and require that each person display their photo for approval. As the group leader, you are in charge of picking events you’d naturally enjoy.

2. Go to lectures

Lectures are a major draw for introverts. You can sit and listen to big ideas and concepts. You can look around the room, observe the curiosity of others, and simply enjoy a close-ended experience. There’s plenty of time to ask questions in an orderly fashion, and pinpoint others you’d like to get to know. Afterwards, it gives you an opportunity to strike up a conversation or engage with a group of people.

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3. Go walking or jogging at the same time everyday

There’s something about taking a walk on a quiet morning and seeing other members of your community in their daily routines. You see familiar faces if you follow the same route. This provides a sense of security and comfort. As an active member of a running or walking group, you easily meet others with the same fitness goals. These types of activities have a clear start and end time, and everyone has something in common to discuss. If you don’t want to talk after a while, you can always change your pace without disappearing.

4. Take a cooking class

Who doesn’t love to talk about food? Cooking classes are a place to indulge, make mistakes and be silly. Letting go of control is challenging as an introvert. However, that is the point. After 2 hours of watching others flub the beef stew, conversation at the sit-down meal is more fun and just flows.

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5. Enjoy being alone when you go out

Most people have experienced the random questions about time, directions, etc. when out alone. To make friends as an introvert, answer these questions with eye contact, and give details if necessary. It’s great practice for talking to strangers, and maybe making a new friend.

6. Have a drink at a hotel bar

Head to the local hotel bar, and meet out of towners who will talk to you just out of curiosity. Do it right, and you may even get a free drink in exchange for tips on the best sights and sounds they can check out.

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7. Find a cafe, bar, beach, park, or bench that is “yours”.

It should be close to home, and take minimal effort. Visit it often, same time, same place. It will take about 3-4 visits until you appear as a regular to the staff, and about two to feel comfortable if you’re an introvert. Normally, after a first visit anywhere, introverts are more relaxed, and “know” the place. It certainly doesn’t take long!

These tips will give you a sense of empowerment as you make friends as an introvert, and create new social connections that can enhance your life.  Don’t be surprised if you attract other introverts as your new friends, too.

Featured photo credit: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/2.0/ via flickr.com

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Last Updated on September 12, 2019

12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life

12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life

Even the most charismatic people you know, whether in person or celebrities of some sort, experience days where they feel lost in life and isolated from everyone else.

While it’s good to know we aren’t alone in this feeling, the question still remains:

What should we do when we feel lost and lonely?

Here are 12 things to remember:

1. Recognize That It’s Okay!

The truth is, there are times you need to be alone. If you’ve always been accustomed to being in contact with people, this may prove difficult.

However, learning how to be alone and comfortable in your own skin will give you confidence and a sense of self reliance.

We cheat ourselves out of the opportunity to become self reliant when we look for constant companionship.

Learn how to embrace your me time: What Your Fear of Being Alone Is Really About and How to Get over It

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2. Use Your Lost and Loneliness as a Self-Directing Guide

You’ve most likely heard the expression: “You have to know where you’ve been to know where you’re going.”

Loneliness also serves as a life signal to indicate you’re in search of something. It’s when we’re in the midst of solitude that answers come from true soul searching.

Remember, there is more to life than what you’re feeling.

3. Realize Loneliness Helps You Face the Truth

Being in the constant company of others, although comforting sometimes, can often serve as a distraction when we need to face the reality of a situation.

Solitude cuts straight to the chase and forces you to deal with the problem at hand. See it as a blessing that can serve as a catalyst to set things right!

4. Be Aware That You Have More Control Than You Think

Typically, when we see ourselves as being lost or lonely, it gives us an excuse to view everything we come in contact with in a negative light. It lends itself to putting ourselves in the victim mode, when the truth of the matter is that you choose your attitude in every situation.

No one can force a feeling upon you! It is YOU who has the ultimate say as to how you choose to react.

5. Embrace the Freedom That the Feeling of Being Alone Can Offer

Instead of wallowing in self pity, which many are prone to do because of loneliness, try looking at your circumstance as a new-found freedom.

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Most people are in constant need of approval of their viewpoints. Try enjoying the fact that  you don’t need everyone you care about to support your decisions.

6. Acknowledge the Person You Are Now

Perhaps you feel a sense of loneliness and confusion because your life circumstances have taken you away from the persona that others know to be you.

Perhaps the new you differs radically from the old. Realize that life is about change and how we react to that change. It’s okay that you’re not who you used to be.

Take a look at this article and learn to accept your imperfect self: Accept Yourself (Flaws and All): 7 Benefits of Being Vulnerable

7. Keep Striving to Do Your Best

Often those who are feeling isolated and unto themselves will develop a defeatist attitude. They’ll do substandard work because their self esteem is low and they don’t care.

Never let this feeling take away your sense of worth! Do your best always and when you come through this dark time, others will admire how you stayed determined in spite of the obstacles you had to overcome.

And to live your best life, you must do this ONE thing: step out of your comfort zone.

8. Don’t Forget That Time Is Precious

When we’re lost in a sea of loneliness and depression, it’s all too easy to reflect on regrets of past life events. This does nothing but feed negativity and perpetuate the situation.

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Instead of falling prey to this common pitfall, put one foot in front of the other and acknowledge every positive step you take. By doing this, you can celebrate the struggles you overcome at the end of the day.

9. Remember, Things Happen for a Reason

Every circumstance we encounter in our life is designed to teach us and that lesson is in turn passed on to others.

Sometimes we’re fortunate enough to figure out the lesson to be learned, while other times, we simply need to have faith that if the lesson wasn’t meant directly for us to learn from, how we handled it was observed by someone who needed to learn.

Your solitude and feeling of lost, in this instance, although painful possibly, may be teaching someone else.

10. Journal During This Time

Record your thoughts when you’re at the height of loneliness and feeling lost. You’ll be amazed when you reflect back at how you viewed things at the time and how far you’ve come later.

This time (if recorded) can give you a keen insight into who you are and what makes you feel the way you feel.

11. Remember You Aren’t the First to Feel This Way

It’s quite common to feel as if we’re alone and no one else has ever felt this way before. We think this because at the time of our distress, we’re silently observing others around us who are seemingly fine in every way.

The truth is, we can’t possibly know the struggles of those around us unless they elect to share them. We ALL have known this pain!

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Try confiding in someone you trust and ask them how they deal with these feelings when they experienced it. You may be surprised at what you learn.

12. Ask for Help If the Problem Persists

The feeling of being lost and lonely is common to everyone, but typically it will last for a relatively short period of time.

Most people will confess to, at one time or another, being in a “funk.” But if the problem persists longer than you feel it should, don’t ignore it.

When your ability to reason and consider things rationally becomes impaired, do not poo poo the problem away and think it isn’t worthy of attention. Seek medical help.

Afraid to ask for help? Here’s how to change your outlook to aim high!

Final Thoughts

Loneliness and a sense of feeling lost can in many ways be extremely painful and difficult to deal with at best. However, these feelings can also serve as a catalyst for change in our lives if we acknowledge them and act.

Above anything, cherish your mental well being and don’t underestimate its worth. Seek professional guidance if you’re unable to distinguish between a sense of freedom for yourself and a sense of despair.

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Featured photo credit: Andrew Neel via unsplash.com

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