“Happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting something we don’t have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.”
We all want to know “the secret” for how to be happy. It can be quite difficult to see through our pain and past our beliefs, though. But sometimes, the answer is staring us right in the face. Use these 7 strategies to help you create more happiness in your life right now.Advertising
Let your natural emotions flow freely.
Sometimes life throws you lemons that test your resolve in unimaginable ways. When this happens, it’s okay to be angry, to cry your eyes out, and to seek answers. Let the emotions you’re experiencing come out in full force. It’s therapeutic. It’s healthy. It’s necessary. And expressing your emotions allows you to let go of your past.
Put the past behind you.
If you want to be happy now, you need to let go of the past. Open your eyes and see the world around you. It’s a beautiful place. Ask yourself: how can I grow from the tough situations I’ve experienced in the past? How will I be better in the future because of this experience? You may not know the answers right now, but this will help put you in a more present-focused mindset.Advertising
Figure out what happy means to you.
Happiness is subjective. There’s no concrete way to define it. It means something different to each of us. So think about what happiness means for you personally. When are you happiest? Who are you happiest with? If you’re struggling to find out how to be happy now, answering these questions will help you immensely.
Be mindful of the present moment.
Take a minute to ponder this: you’re alive and breathing. Your life is filled with people who love you. What more do you need? Humans tend to always strive for more, more, more. But when we open our eyes and focus on life, moment by moment, we stumble upon one of life’s great truths: that every moment is a miracle, and if you treat them as such you will be happier.Advertising
Here’s something happy people do differently: they constantly give thanks for what they have, rather than focusing on what they don’t. Take time every day to be grateful. Do something nice for a total stranger. Say “thank you” often and actually mean it. And when someone does a favor for you, pay it forward. The universe could use more grateful, kind people. So be one of them.
Do the things you love today.
Take a minute to ponder this: if you knew you only had six months to live, what would you do? Who would you see? How would you spend your time? Those answers will reveal something profound: that you need to stop worrying about trivial, meaningless things and focus on doing the things you enjoy and spending time with the people you love right now.Advertising
Call someone close to you and tell them you love them.
Here’s one of the easiest ways to be happy right now: pick up the phone, call a friend or family member you care about, and tell them you love them. If your life or the life of someone close to you ended suddenly, what’s the last thing you wish you could say? I love you. Say those three words as often as possible. Don’t let meaningful thoughts and fears in your life get in the way of telling people how you feel about them. You have the power to change someone’s life (and your own) with your words.
Last Updated on September 17, 2018
7 Signs of an Unhappy Relationship That Makes You Feel Stuck
Relationships are complicated and when you’re unhappy, it can be difficult to tell what’s causing it and what needs to change.
Sometimes it’s as easy as opening up to your partner about your problems, while other times it may be necessary to switch partners or roll solo to get your mind straight.
When you’re in the thick of things, it can be difficult to tell if you’re unhappy in your relationship or just unhappy in general (in which case, a relationship may be just the cure you need).
Here’re signs of an unhappy relationship that is possibly making you feel stuck:
1. You’re depressed about your home life.
No matter what you do in life, you’re going to have good and bad days. Your relationship is no different.
However, no matter what you’re going through at home, you have to feel comfortable in your own home.
If you constantly dread going home because your significant other is there, there’s a problem. Maybe it’s something you already know about, everyone has an argument or just needs some alone time.
When that yearning to be alone becomes an insatiable obsession over the course of months and years, it’s time to realize you’re not the exception to the rule.
You’re unhappy in your relationship, and you need to take a look in the mirror and do whatever it takes to make yourself smile.
2. You aren’t comfortable being yourself.
Remember all those things you discovered about yourself when you first got together? The way your partner made you feel when you met that made you fall in love with him or her in the first place.
If they don’t make you feel that way anymore, it’s not the end of the world. If your partner makes you uncomfortable about being you, then her or she is only dragging you down. It’s up to you to decide how to handle that.
You need to be comfortable with who you are. This means being comfortable in your skin and with the way you walk, talk, look, breath, move, and all the other things that make you uniquely you.
If the person who supposedly loves you doesn’t make you feel good about yourself, know that you can do better. They’re not even one in a billion.
3. You can’t stop snooping.
Mutual trust is necessary in any relationship. The only way to get that trust is with respect.
I can find you anywhere online, no matter how private and secure you think you are. The odds of you having a password I can’t crack are slim. If we’ve met in person, I could install a remote key logger on your device without even touching it.
Finding your information online hardly takes a clandestine organization. Any idiot with a Wi-Fi-enabled device can cyberstalk you. I’m just the only idiot in the village admitting it.
So now that we know everyone snoops, it’s time to address your personal habits. Governments snoop because they don’t trust us. If you’re snooping on your partner, it’s because you don’t trust them.
It’s ok to have doubts, and it’s perfectly normal to look into anything that looks weird, but keep in mind that data collection is only half of an investigation.
If you find yourself constantly snooping and questioning everything, clearly there’s a trust issue and the relationship likely needs to end.
4. You’re afraid of commitment.
If you’ve been dating longer than a year and you aren’t engaged, it’s never going to happen.
Commitment is important. People will come up with a million ways to describe why they can’t be committed.
No matter who you are if you like it, you need to put a ring on it. Find an engagement ring, stick a gemstone in it and marry the person. If you’re not legally able to get married or you don’t believe in it for one reason or another, have a child (or adopt one, however you’re able to) or treat your partner’s family like your own. It’s a huge financial and mental commitment.
If you’re not ready for one or the other after some time, don’t waste anymore of your precious life on the relationship.
Your relationship should be something that propels you forward. If it’s not going anywhere, make it an open relationship and call it what it is—dating multiple people.
5. You imagine a happier life without your partner.
If all you’re doing is imagining a happier life without your partner, it’s a sign that you’re in the wrong relationship. You’re unhappy and you need to get out.
Your partner should be included in your dreams. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a future with someone.
Try to remember what you dreamed of before you got your heart broken by the realities of life, love and the pursuit of human success.
Remember when you would crush on that cute kid in class? You would secretly imagine marrying him or her and going on an adventure—that’s the way life should be.
If you’re not at least imagining adventures together, then why are you in that relationship?
6. You resent, rather than love your partner.
When a relationship starts to crumble, you begin to resent your partner for all the things you once loved about him or her.
When you’ve reached this point, your partner has reached at least No. 2 on this list. From your partner’s perspective, your unhappiness with them is picked up as bashing them for being who they are.
If you’re both unhappy in the relationship, it’s better if it ends as quickly and painlessly as possible.
7. You chase past feelings.
It’s okay to reminisce about the past, but if all you do is wish things were like they used to be, it’s a sign you’re not on the right path.
You’re unhappy and, at the very least, you need to have an open dialogue about it. This isn’t necessarily a sign that the relationship should end, but it definitely needs a spark.
When you talk to your partner candidly about what it is you’re looking for, you never know how they’ll react. The risk alone is worth it, good or bad.
If you’re feeling stuck in your current relationship, it’s time to reflect about it with your partner. Don’t ignore these signs of an unhappy relationship as they will slowly go worse and harm both you and your partner in long-term.
Featured photo credit: josh peterson via unsplash.com