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5 Ways To Love The Present

5 Ways To Love The Present

The present is certainly fleeting and wonderful, but it can also be a little terrifying sometimes. There are often situations we are faced with that we do not have the tools to deal with. Liz Arch from Mind Body Green is here to share five ways to love the present no matter how scared you are:

Recently, a small black mole appeared on my ankle. I had a sinking feeling when I saw it. A biopsy and a personal call from the doctor confirmed that the spot was indeed cause for concern and I would need surgery to remove a larger section of the surrounding tissue.

I got the news the day before I left to lead a weeklong yoga retreat in Maui. I wouldn’t be able to practice yoga for at least three weeks after the procedure, so the doc told me to enjoy my vacation and we would schedule surgery when I got back. Enjoy my vacation? Obviously, the doctor didn’t know me well enough to know that you can’t say the words melanoma and enjoy Maui in the same sentence.

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My mind instantly started spinning. One moment I was blissfully packing for a trip to paradise and the next, I was packing for what might be the last trip of my life. My thoughts dragged me down a slippery slope of what ifs. What if it’s cancer? What if the surgery doesn’t remove it all? What if I need chemotherapy and lose all my hair? What if I need to have my foot amputated?

Each thought was feeding on the negativity of the last, sending me down a deep, dark rabbit hole. The fact that my mom died last year from cancer only made the rabbit hole deeper and darker. As I boarded the plane to Maui, I asked myself the most important what if. What if I released my fears and allowed myself to be fully present? My retreaters deserved my full presence and so did I. The truth was, I felt great. I could still spread my toes on my yoga mat, stretch my arms up to the sky and breathe in gratitude for the blessing of this moment.

In the Yoga Sutras, Patanjali tells us “Heyam duhkham anagatam.” Pain that has not yet come is avoidable. If we allow our present to be filled with the fear of future suffering, we suffer twice.

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As author and activist Corrie ten Boom beautifully put it, “Worrying is carrying tomorrow’s load with today’s strength – carrying two days at once. Worrying doesn’t empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength.” There is no more powerful medicine than making peace with the unknown of tomorrow and saving our strength for today.

As I sit here writing this, the dull ache in my ankle from the surgery I had upon my return, reminds me that I am still alive and more whole than ever before. And that rabbit hole? It no longer exists, because this time, the call from the doctor came back all clear.

Here are 5 ways to let go of your fears and embrace the peace of the present:

1. Practice yoga.

Yoga provides a physical outlet for the release of emotional anxiety. The mind has a hard time wandering when you’re firmly anchored to the presence of your body and your breath.

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2. Meditate.

Find a quiet space to sit still and just be. Be present to the sound and sensation of your breath. Observe your thoughts and let them come and go without attachment or judgment. If you feel yourself starting to identify with a thought, simply draw your awareness back to your breath to ground you in the present.

3. Every day, write down three things for which you are grateful.

As Eckhart Tolle says “Pain can only feed on pain. Pain cannot feed on joy. It finds it quite indigestible.” Eradicate your fears by inviting gratitude and joy into your life.

4. Acknowledge & accept.

That which we resist, persists. Sometimes the simple act of acknowledging what we fear is the most powerful way to release us from its hold. If your fears are rational, like a serious illness, first accept whatever the situation is. (Note that acceptance does not mean giving up or giving in!) Use this acceptance as a way to move into positive action.

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5. Try light visualization.

Darkness cannot survive in the presence of light. When you feel dark thoughts creeping in, visualize yourself as light. See a tiny ember of white light glowing in your belly. Fan this ember with slow, rhythmic breaths and watch the ember grow into radiant white light. Let this light radiate out from your center, flooding your entire body in a brilliant bath of healing light.

Liz Arch is the creator of Primal Yoga®, a dynamic yoga/martial arts fusion class that merges Vinyasa yoga with the artistry of Kung Fu and the grace of Tai Chi into a creative and mindful flow. She is an athlete for Respect Your Universe and has over ten years of experience in various yoga and martial arts styles, including Power Yoga, traditional Northern-style Kung Fu and Yang-style Tai Chi. She teaches free yoga to women who are survivors of domestic violence and is a proud advocate for A Window Between Worlds, the only national non-profit organization that uses art as a healing tool for women and children who are survivors of domestic violence. Connect with her online at www.lizarch.com, via Facebook or Instagram.

5 Ways To Love The Present No Matter How Scared You Are | Mind Body Green

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Last Updated on January 18, 2019

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

1. Limit the time you spend with them.

First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

2. Speak up for yourself.

Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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5. Change the subject.

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

7. Leave them behind.

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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