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7 Tips How to Make Friends During College

7 Tips How to Make Friends During College

You can get very lonely in college, even with hundreds or thousands of people around. In fact, it’s been scientifically proven that college is one of the loneliest points in an adults life, especially if the college is not in your hometown.

1. Realize that it’s normal for you to be lonely

The trick here is to not take it personal. Many people do get lonely in their college years, even if they hide it. It has nothing to do with who you are, it’s just a period of your life when the level of loneliness sky rockets.

But there are things you can do. And the first thing, is to consider those emotions of loneliness as normal. If you think you get lonely because there is something wrong with you, you’ll only hide yourself from people, and thus make yourself even lonelier. Whatever you do, don’t isolate yourself further, making the problem worse.

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2. Don’t Compare Yourself With The Most Popular People

If you’re lonely, or lack friends, you’re more likely to compare yourself with the “cool kids.” That’s what the statistics say. If you only compare your social life and the quality of your friendships with the most connected people in campus, you’re doing yourself a disservice.

Instead, look closer. Most people in college don’t have 50 friends who are dying to hang out. Most just have a couple or one friend that they regularly talk to. Most people are bored in college, and actually want some more company.

If you see things from the lens of “it’s all or nothing,” you won’t appreciate the few friendships you could make at first, that would lead to a very happy social life, later on.

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3. Leverage On Commonalities

It’s easier to hang out with people who have things in common with you. E.g. same class, same hatred (or love) for a professor or a course, same hometown, same preferred Tv series, same hobby, etc.

4. Think Outside The Campus

If you want to make friends in college, you have to think outside of it, as well. Avoid keeping the conversations around college stuff, ask and discuss things outside, and make plans outside of that context. Don’t be the sort of buddy they only talk to when they have something to say about college, be a friend they can talk to about anything.

5. Connect People and You’ll Never Be Lonely Again

Even seasoned grown-ups forget this powerful principle. When you bring people together, create plans involving more than one person, and introduce people to each other, everyone just sticks around. You get appreciated for that sense of initiative, and people stick around longer, as a group has more “gravitational power” than you by yourself.

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6. All Doors Open If You’re Humble

I know, conventional advice say that you’re not supposed to be nice, and cockiness is attractive. That’s cute, but in the real world, you get a lot more advantage if you keep your ego at home, and avoid arrogance at all costs. Never let anyone think that you think you’re better than them.

Always assume you’re at the same level (or same social status) than everyone else. When you do that, humble people, arrogant ones, popular, or losers, they all love you. You make them feel comfortable.

7. There’s No Social Skills 101

Do yourself a favor, and make a commitment to learn and sharpen social skills during your college years. It’s your golden opportunity to learn how to make friends, make conversations, have fun, and build long-lasting friendships.

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It’s your golden opportunity to learn what makes someone have a happy social life, no matter what your personality is like. You obviously don’t need to be a loud larger-than-life extrovert to make friends. You need to practice and grow your social skills.

Good luck with making some new friends today.

Featured photo credit: @adam.s195 via secure.flickr.com

More by this author

Paul Sanders

A communication expert who tries to help people improve their social skills and make friends anywhere.

How to Keep a Conversation Going and Never Run Out of Things to Say What to Do When You Have No Friends and Feel Lonely 7 Tips How to Make Friends During College 5 Reasons Why Your Social Life Isn’t Improving, And What To Do About It How To Quietly Build A Social Life

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Last Updated on January 18, 2019

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

1. Limit the time you spend with them.

First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

2. Speak up for yourself.

Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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5. Change the subject.

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

7. Leave them behind.

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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