You can get very lonely in college, even with hundreds or thousands of people around. In fact, it’s been scientifically proven that college is one of the loneliest points in an adults life, especially if the college is not in your hometown.
1. Realize that it’s normal for you to be lonely
The trick here is to not take it personal. Many people do get lonely in their college years, even if they hide it. It has nothing to do with who you are, it’s just a period of your life when the level of loneliness sky rockets.
But there are things you can do. And the first thing, is to consider those emotions of loneliness as normal. If you think you get lonely because there is something wrong with you, you’ll only hide yourself from people, and thus make yourself even lonelier. Whatever you do, don’t isolate yourself further, making the problem worse.
2. Don’t Compare Yourself With The Most Popular People
If you’re lonely, or lack friends, you’re more likely to compare yourself with the “cool kids.” That’s what the statistics say. If you only compare your social life and the quality of your friendships with the most connected people in campus, you’re doing yourself a disservice.
Instead, look closer. Most people in college don’t have 50 friends who are dying to hang out. Most just have a couple or one friend that they regularly talk to. Most people are bored in college, and actually want some more company.
If you see things from the lens of “it’s all or nothing,” you won’t appreciate the few friendships you could make at first, that would lead to a very happy social life, later on.
3. Leverage On Commonalities
It’s easier to hang out with people who have things in common with you. E.g. same class, same hatred (or love) for a professor or a course, same hometown, same preferred Tv series, same hobby, etc.
4. Think Outside The Campus
If you want to make friends in college, you have to think outside of it, as well. Avoid keeping the conversations around college stuff, ask and discuss things outside, and make plans outside of that context. Don’t be the sort of buddy they only talk to when they have something to say about college, be a friend they can talk to about anything.
5. Connect People and You’ll Never Be Lonely Again
Even seasoned grown-ups forget this powerful principle. When you bring people together, create plans involving more than one person, and introduce people to each other, everyone just sticks around. You get appreciated for that sense of initiative, and people stick around longer, as a group has more “gravitational power” than you by yourself.
6. All Doors Open If You’re Humble
I know, conventional advice say that you’re not supposed to be nice, and cockiness is attractive. That’s cute, but in the real world, you get a lot more advantage if you keep your ego at home, and avoid arrogance at all costs. Never let anyone think that you think you’re better than them.
Always assume you’re at the same level (or same social status) than everyone else. When you do that, humble people, arrogant ones, popular, or losers, they all love you. You make them feel comfortable.
7. There’s No Social Skills 101
Do yourself a favor, and make a commitment to learn and sharpen social skills during your college years. It’s your golden opportunity to learn how to make friends, make conversations, have fun, and build long-lasting friendships.
It’s your golden opportunity to learn what makes someone have a happy social life, no matter what your personality is like. You obviously don’t need to be a loud larger-than-life extrovert to make friends. You need to practice and grow your social skills.
Good luck with making some new friends today.
Featured photo credit: @adam.s195 via secure.flickr.com