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7 Tips How to Make Friends During College

7 Tips How to Make Friends During College

You can get very lonely in college, even with hundreds or thousands of people around. In fact, it’s been scientifically proven that college is one of the loneliest points in an adults life, especially if the college is not in your hometown.

1. Realize that it’s normal for you to be lonely

The trick here is to not take it personal. Many people do get lonely in their college years, even if they hide it. It has nothing to do with who you are, it’s just a period of your life when the level of loneliness sky rockets.

But there are things you can do. And the first thing, is to consider those emotions of loneliness as normal. If you think you get lonely because there is something wrong with you, you’ll only hide yourself from people, and thus make yourself even lonelier. Whatever you do, don’t isolate yourself further, making the problem worse.

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2. Don’t Compare Yourself With The Most Popular People

If you’re lonely, or lack friends, you’re more likely to compare yourself with the “cool kids.” That’s what the statistics say. If you only compare your social life and the quality of your friendships with the most connected people in campus, you’re doing yourself a disservice.

Instead, look closer. Most people in college don’t have 50 friends who are dying to hang out. Most just have a couple or one friend that they regularly talk to. Most people are bored in college, and actually want some more company.

If you see things from the lens of “it’s all or nothing,” you won’t appreciate the few friendships you could make at first, that would lead to a very happy social life, later on.

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3. Leverage On Commonalities

It’s easier to hang out with people who have things in common with you. E.g. same class, same hatred (or love) for a professor or a course, same hometown, same preferred Tv series, same hobby, etc.

4. Think Outside The Campus

If you want to make friends in college, you have to think outside of it, as well. Avoid keeping the conversations around college stuff, ask and discuss things outside, and make plans outside of that context. Don’t be the sort of buddy they only talk to when they have something to say about college, be a friend they can talk to about anything.

5. Connect People and You’ll Never Be Lonely Again

Even seasoned grown-ups forget this powerful principle. When you bring people together, create plans involving more than one person, and introduce people to each other, everyone just sticks around. You get appreciated for that sense of initiative, and people stick around longer, as a group has more “gravitational power” than you by yourself.

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6. All Doors Open If You’re Humble

I know, conventional advice say that you’re not supposed to be nice, and cockiness is attractive. That’s cute, but in the real world, you get a lot more advantage if you keep your ego at home, and avoid arrogance at all costs. Never let anyone think that you think you’re better than them.

Always assume you’re at the same level (or same social status) than everyone else. When you do that, humble people, arrogant ones, popular, or losers, they all love you. You make them feel comfortable.

7. There’s No Social Skills 101

Do yourself a favor, and make a commitment to learn and sharpen social skills during your college years. It’s your golden opportunity to learn how to make friends, make conversations, have fun, and build long-lasting friendships.

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It’s your golden opportunity to learn what makes someone have a happy social life, no matter what your personality is like. You obviously don’t need to be a loud larger-than-life extrovert to make friends. You need to practice and grow your social skills.

Good luck with making some new friends today.

Featured photo credit: @adam.s195 via secure.flickr.com

More by this author

Paul Sanders

A communication expert who tries to help people improve their social skills and make friends anywhere.

How to Keep a Conversation Going and Never Run Out of Things to Say What to Do When You Have No Friends and Feel Lonely 7 Tips How to Make Friends During College 5 Reasons Why Your Social Life Isn’t Improving, And What To Do About It How To Quietly Build A Social Life

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Last Updated on May 17, 2019

This Is What Happens When You Move Out Of the Comfort Zone

This Is What Happens When You Move Out Of the Comfort Zone

The pursuit of worthwhile goals is a part of what makes life enjoyable. Being able to set a goal, then see yourself progress towards achieving that goal is an amazing feeling.

But do you know the biggest obstacle for most people trying to achieve their goals, the silent dream killer that stops people before they ever even get started? That obstacle is the comfort zone, and getting stuck there is bound to derail any efforts you make towards achieving the goals you’ve set for yourself.

If you want to achieve those goals, you’ll have to break free from your comfort zone. Let’s take a look at how your life will change once you build up the courage to leave your comfort zone.

What Is the Comfort Zone?

The comfort zone is defined as “a behavioural state within which a person operates in an anxiety-neutral condition, using a limited set of behaviours to deliver a steady level of performance.”

What stands out to me the most about that definition is the last part: “using a limited set of behaviours to deliver a steady level of performance.” How many successful people do you know who deliver a steady level of performance?

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The goal in life is to continually challenge yourself, and continually improve yourself. And in order to do that, you have move out of your comfort zone. But once you do, your life will start to change in ways you could never have imagined. I know because it’s happening right now in my own life.

Here’s what I’ve learned.

1. You will be scared

Leaving your comfort zone isn’t easy. In fact, in can be downright terrifying at times, and that’s okay. It’s perfectly normal to feel a little trepidation when you’re embarking on a journey that forces you to try new things.

So don’t freak out or get overwhelmed when you feel yourself getting a little scared. It’s perfectly normal and all part of the process. What’s important is that you don’t let that fear hold you back. You must continue to take action in the face of fear.

That’s what separates winners from losers.

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2. You will fail

Stepping out of your comfort zone means you’re moving into uncharted territory. You’re trying things that you’ve never tried before, and learning things you’ve never learned before.

That steep learning curve means you’re not going to get everything right the first time, and you will eventually fail when you move out of your comfort zone. But as long as the failures aren’t catastrophic, it can actually be a good thing to fail because …

3. You will learn

Failure is the best teacher. I’ve learned more from each one of my failures than I have from each one of my successes. When you fail small, and fail often, you rapidly increase the rate at which you learn new insights and skills. And that new knowledge, if applied correctly, will eventually lead to your success.

4. You will see yourself in a different way

Once you move out of your comfort zone, you immediately prove to yourself that you’re capable of achieving more than you thought was possible. And that will change the way you see yourself.

Moving forward, you’ll have more confidence in yourself whenever you step out of your comfort zone, and that increased confidence will make it more likely that you continue to step outside your comfort zone. And each time you do, you’ll prove to yourself again and again what you’re really capable of.

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5. Your peers will see you in a different way

Whether we want to admit or not, people judge other people. And right now, people view you in a certain way, and they have a certain idea of what you’re capable of. That’s because they’ve become accustomed to seeing you operate in your comfort zone.

But once you move out of your comfort zone, you’ll prove to other people, as well, that you’re capable of much more than you’ve shown in the past.

The increased confidence other people place in you will bring about more opportunities than ever before.

6. Your comfort zone will expand

The good thing about the comfort zone is that it’s flexible and malleable. With each action you take outside of your comfort zone, it expands. And once you master that new skill or action, it eventually becomes part of your comfort zone.

This is great news for you because it means that you can constantly increase and improve upon the behaviors that you’re comfortable with. And the more tools and skills you have at your disposal, the easier it will be to achieve your goals.

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7. You will increase your concentration and focus

When you’re living inside of your comfort zone, the bulk of your actions are habitual: automatic, subconscious, and requiring limited focus.

But once you move out of your comfort zone, you no longer rely on those habitual responses. You’re forced to concentrate and focus on the new action in a way you never do in your comfort zone.

8. You will develop new skills

Moving out of your comfort zone requires that you develop new skills. One of the many benefits you’ll experience is that you’ll be stepping away from the “limited set of behaviors” and start to develop your ability and expertise in new areas.

Living inside of your comfort zone only requires a limited skill set, and those skills won’t contribute much to your success. Once you can confidently step outside of your comfort zone and learn a new skill, there’s no limit to how much you can achieve.

9. You will achieve more than before

With everything that happens once you move out of your comfort zone, you’re naturally going to achieve more than ever before.

Your increased concentration and focus will help you develop new skills. Those new skills will change the way you see yourself, encouraging you to step even further out of your comfort zone.

Featured photo credit: Josef Grunig via farm3.staticflickr.com

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