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7 Tips How to Make Friends During College

7 Tips How to Make Friends During College

You can get very lonely in college, even with hundreds or thousands of people around. In fact, it’s been scientifically proven that college is one of the loneliest points in an adults life, especially if the college is not in your hometown.

1. Realize that it’s normal for you to be lonely

The trick here is to not take it personal. Many people do get lonely in their college years, even if they hide it. It has nothing to do with who you are, it’s just a period of your life when the level of loneliness sky rockets.

But there are things you can do. And the first thing, is to consider those emotions of loneliness as normal. If you think you get lonely because there is something wrong with you, you’ll only hide yourself from people, and thus make yourself even lonelier. Whatever you do, don’t isolate yourself further, making the problem worse.

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2. Don’t Compare Yourself With The Most Popular People

If you’re lonely, or lack friends, you’re more likely to compare yourself with the “cool kids.” That’s what the statistics say. If you only compare your social life and the quality of your friendships with the most connected people in campus, you’re doing yourself a disservice.

Instead, look closer. Most people in college don’t have 50 friends who are dying to hang out. Most just have a couple or one friend that they regularly talk to. Most people are bored in college, and actually want some more company.

If you see things from the lens of “it’s all or nothing,” you won’t appreciate the few friendships you could make at first, that would lead to a very happy social life, later on.

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3. Leverage On Commonalities

It’s easier to hang out with people who have things in common with you. E.g. same class, same hatred (or love) for a professor or a course, same hometown, same preferred Tv series, same hobby, etc.

4. Think Outside The Campus

If you want to make friends in college, you have to think outside of it, as well. Avoid keeping the conversations around college stuff, ask and discuss things outside, and make plans outside of that context. Don’t be the sort of buddy they only talk to when they have something to say about college, be a friend they can talk to about anything.

5. Connect People and You’ll Never Be Lonely Again

Even seasoned grown-ups forget this powerful principle. When you bring people together, create plans involving more than one person, and introduce people to each other, everyone just sticks around. You get appreciated for that sense of initiative, and people stick around longer, as a group has more “gravitational power” than you by yourself.

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6. All Doors Open If You’re Humble

I know, conventional advice say that you’re not supposed to be nice, and cockiness is attractive. That’s cute, but in the real world, you get a lot more advantage if you keep your ego at home, and avoid arrogance at all costs. Never let anyone think that you think you’re better than them.

Always assume you’re at the same level (or same social status) than everyone else. When you do that, humble people, arrogant ones, popular, or losers, they all love you. You make them feel comfortable.

7. There’s No Social Skills 101

Do yourself a favor, and make a commitment to learn and sharpen social skills during your college years. It’s your golden opportunity to learn how to make friends, make conversations, have fun, and build long-lasting friendships.

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It’s your golden opportunity to learn what makes someone have a happy social life, no matter what your personality is like. You obviously don’t need to be a loud larger-than-life extrovert to make friends. You need to practice and grow your social skills.

Good luck with making some new friends today.

Featured photo credit: @adam.s195 via secure.flickr.com

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Paul Sanders

A communication expert who tries to help people improve their social skills and make friends anywhere.

How To Be More Social If You Are an Introvert How to Keep a Conversation Going and Never Run Out of Things to Say What to Do When You Have No Friends and Feel Lonely 7 Tips How to Make Friends During College 5 Reasons Why Your Social Life Isn’t Improving, And What To Do About It

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life

12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life

Even the most charismatic people you know, whether in person or celebrities of some sort, experience days where they are feeling lost in life and isolated from everyone else.

While it’s good to know we aren’t alone in this feeling, the question still remains:

What should we do when we feel lost and lonely?

Here are 12 things to remember:

1. Recognize That It’s Okay!

The truth is, there are times you need to be alone. If you’ve always been accustomed to being in contact with people, this may prove difficult.

However, learning how to be alone and comfortable in your own skin will give you confidence and a sense of self reliance.

We cheat ourselves out of the opportunity to become self reliant when we look for constant companionship.

Learn how to embrace your me time: What Your Fear of Being Alone Is Really About and How to Get over It

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2. Use Your Lost and Loneliness as a Self-Directing Guide

You’ve most likely heard the expression: “You have to know where you’ve been to know where you’re going.”

Loneliness also serves as a life signal to indicate you’re in search of something. It’s when we’re in the midst of solitude that answers come from true soul searching.

Remember, there is more to life than what you’re feeling.

3. Realize Loneliness Helps You Face the Truth

Being in the constant company of others, although comforting sometimes, can often serve as a distraction when we need to face the reality of a situation.

Solitude cuts straight to the chase and forces you to deal with the problem at hand. See it as a blessing that can serve as a catalyst to set things right!

4. Be Aware That You Have More Control Than You Think

Typically, when we see ourselves as being lost or lonely, it gives us an excuse to view everything we come in contact with in a negative light. It lends itself to putting ourselves in the victim mode, when the truth of the matter is that you choose your attitude in every situation.

No one can force a feeling upon you! It is YOU who has the ultimate say as to how you choose to react: How to Control Your Thoughts and Be the Master of Your Mind

5. Embrace the Freedom That the Feeling of Being Alone Can Offer

Instead of wallowing in self pity, which many are prone to do because of loneliness, try looking at your circumstance as a new-found freedom.

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Most people are in constant need of approval of their viewpoints. Try enjoying the fact that  you don’t need everyone you care about to support your decisions.

6. Acknowledge the Person You Are Now

Perhaps you feel a sense of loneliness and confusion because your life circumstances have taken you away from the persona that others know to be you.

Perhaps the new you differs radically from the old. Realize that life is about change and how we react to that change. It’s okay that you’re not who you used to be.

Take a look at this article and learn to accept your imperfect self: Accept Yourself (Flaws and All): 7 Benefits of Being Vulnerable

7. Keep Striving to Do Your Best

Often those who are feeling isolated and unto themselves will develop a defeatist attitude. They’ll do substandard work because their self esteem is low and they don’t care.

Never let this feeling take away your sense of worth! Do your best always and when you come through this dark time, others will admire how you stayed determined in spite of the obstacles you had to overcome.

And to live your best life, you must do this ONE thing: step out of your comfort zone.

8. Don’t Forget That Time Is Precious

When we’re lost in a sea of loneliness and depression, it’s all too easy to reflect on regrets of past life events. This does nothing but feed negativity and perpetuate the situation.

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Instead of falling prey to this common pitfall, put one foot in front of the other and acknowledge every positive step you take. By doing this, you can celebrate the struggles you overcome at the end of the day.

9. Remember, Things Happen for a Reason

Every circumstance we encounter in our life is designed to teach us and that lesson is in turn passed on to others.

Sometimes we’re fortunate enough to figure out the lesson to be learned, while other times, we simply need to have faith that if the lesson wasn’t meant directly for us to learn from, how we handled it was observed by someone who needed to learn.

Your solitude and feeling of lost, in this instance, although painful possibly, may be teaching someone else.

10. Journal During This Time

Record your thoughts when you’re at the height of loneliness and feeling lost. You’ll be amazed when you reflect back at how you viewed things at the time and how far you’ve come later.

This time (if recorded) can give you a keen insight into who you are and what makes you feel the way you feel.

11. Remember You Aren’t the First to Feel This Way

It’s quite common to feel as if we’re alone and no one else has ever felt this way before. We think this because at the time of our distress, we’re silently observing others around us who are seemingly fine in every way.

The truth is, we can’t possibly know the struggles of those around us unless they elect to share them. We ALL have known this pain!

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Try confiding in someone you trust and ask them how they deal with these feelings when they experienced it. You may be surprised at what you learn.

12. Ask for Help If the Problem Persists

The feeling of being lost and lonely is common to everyone, but typically it will last for a relatively short period of time.

Most people will confess to, at one time or another, being in a “funk.” But if the problem persists longer than you feel it should, don’t ignore it.

When your ability to reason and consider things rationally becomes impaired, do not poo poo the problem away and think it isn’t worthy of attention. Seek medical help.

Afraid to ask for help? Here’s how to change your outlook to aim high!

Final Thoughts

Loneliness and a sense of feeling lost can in many ways be extremely painful and difficult to deal with at best. However, these feelings can also serve as a catalyst for change in our lives if we acknowledge them and act.

Above anything, cherish your mental well being and don’t underestimate its worth. Seek professional guidance if you’re unable to distinguish between a sense of freedom for yourself and a sense of despair.

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Featured photo credit: Andrew Neel via unsplash.com

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