Advertising
Advertising

7 Things You Should Never Say to Someone

7 Things You Should Never Say to Someone

You’ve just said something wrong. The other person is looking at you with a red angry face, but the issue is not about what you’ve said, it’s about what they’ve heard.

There are some sentences that act like deadly silent ninjas, killing self-confidence and antagonizing your friends, family and colleagues—the worst thing is that you might not even realize it.

Here are 7 things you should never say to someone:

1. “I don’t care”

What they hear: “Leave me alone. I have better things to do than listen to you.”

Explain why you would love to hear about that subject, and why “right now” is not the best time for you. Everybody matters. Not caring about someone is denying their existence: If people matter for you, you will matter for them.

Advertising

2. “You’re wrong”

What they hear: “You are stupid. You know nothing. You’re worthless.”

Prefer more tactful sentences. “I would have thought that…”, “My understanding is that…”

Ask questions to make sure you and the other person are working on the same assumptions.

3. “You can’t do it”

What they hear: “You don’t have what it takes to do it, no matter how hard you try; So why do you even try?”

Why would you set someone up for failure? I understand that you don’t want your friend to have delusions, and you could feel that it is your duty to stop that person before they hurt themselves, but I would like to ask you: how can you judge what is good for somebody? And what if failure was the best path for growth?

Advertising

Encourage people who have chosen a challenging path.

Good judgement comes with experience, but experience comes from bad judgement; – Will Rogers

4. “This should be easy”

What they hear: “It’s easy for most people. If you have trouble doing it, there is probably something wrong about you”

The level of difficulty is perceived differently by everyone, and everyone has their own Everest. If you’re telling somebody that their job is easy, then you’re undermining their contribution to society and you’re telling them they don’t deserve the salary they have.

If someone is struggling and coming for help, then they have trust you enough to show you their weakness. Don’t rub their face in it by saying “This should be easy”.

Advertising

Acknowledge the challenges that people encounter and value their commitment to overcome them.

5. “I told you so”

What they hear: “You did not listen to me. That’s all your fault. I’m so much better than you.”

This one is a common no-no.

It’s useless to shoot a dead horse, especially when other person needs your help more than ever. Don’t keep tabs on who’s right and who’s wrong. If it were a competition, the one keeping tabs would be the one losing.

Help the other person, and don’t add insult to injury.

Advertising

6. “As I just said before…”

What they hear: “You don’t listen to me. You’re making me repeat myself. You’re so annoying and dumb”

This is a very sneaky conversation killer. If someone asks you a question and you point out that you’ve already answered it, then you’re killing their willingness to learn, or even to have a slight interest in what you say.

Say the same thing in another way and by illustrating it differently.

Tell them what you’re going to tell them. Then, tell them. Finally, tell them what you’ve told them. – Aristotle

7. “Good luck”

What they hear: “There’s nothing you can do that will make you succeed. Only luck will. let’s hope for a once-in-a-millenium planet-alignment-like opportunity so that you can succeed.”

Also, it is bad luck to wish good luck. It is more common for comedians to say “Break a leg”, or “Merde!” – the French equivalent of “Shit!”. The expression comes from the fact that, during older times, successful plays would attract a lot of carriage traffic and therefore a significant amount of horse dejection. Maybe this is why people would slip and “break a leg”.

Don’t attribute success to luckcelebrate the other person’s qualities instead. “Show them your guts!” “Give them something they’ll never forget!”

More by this author

20 Ways to Describe Yourself in a Job Interview 10 Sales Skills to Help You Excel at Work Powerful Methods Of Practice You’ve Never Tried 25 Things You Should Stop Putting Off And Do This Year 15 Surprising Ways Rich People Think Differently

Trending in Communication

1 How To Be Happy Alone and Enjoy Life 2 10 Warning Signs of Low Self-Esteem and a Lack of Confidence 3 10 Ways To Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone And Overcome Your Fear 4 The Lifehack Show Episode 3: Why Validation is Key to Lasting Relationships 5 How to Make Changes in Life To Be The Best Version of You

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on July 18, 2019

How To Be Happy Alone and Enjoy Life

How To Be Happy Alone and Enjoy Life

Loneliness is a feeling I know very well. I live in an apartment with no one but my dog, and I don’t get a whole lot of company because most of my friends have moved to another town, got married and had a family, or simply lost touch due to life happening.

As someone who considers himself a loner, I loved the peace and quiet at first; but I found myself feeling very lonely within a few months. My space went from clean to chaos, my productivity crashed and burned, my thoughts took a turn for the worse, and I couldn’t find much interest in anything more than watching movies on Netflix.

After living a few months in a haze of sloth, I realized I had a serious problem and decided to learn how to be happy alone and enjoy my life. This article tackles 6 key things I learned along the way.

1. Take Care of Your Home

When you’re not around other people, it is easy to lose interest in tidying up your home. You might find yourself with a sky high pile of dishes and mountains of clutter everywhere you turn if you’re not careful. Even if you don’t have a roommate or company that frequently walks in your door, it is in your best interest to clean house at least once per week.

Advertising

If your home is a disorganized wreck, expect to feel stressed out as soon as you walk in the door. A clean home free from clutter will help you feel happy and organized.

2. Find Beauty in the Ordinary

If you don’t see beauty in your world, you’re not looking hard enough.

If you’re home alone and feeling down, walk outside and spend some time with nature. Watch the birds fly and admire their elaborate flight formation. Listen to dogs barking at each other in the neighborhood and think to yourself, “I wonder what they could possibly be talking about?”

Look at that big, old tree that is the size of a giant (and if you’re feeling limber, why not try to climb it?). Plant some flowers, a vegetable garden, or a small tree in your back yard.

Advertising

Go to the park, walk on a nature trail, clear your thoughts, listen to the sounds of the forest, and be in awe of the beauty that’s right in front of you.

3. Watch Out for Noisy Thoughts

Your thoughts can be your best friend and worst enemy. Have you ever noticed that if you find yourself thinking even a single negative thought, it inevitably spirals out of control until you have a nasty chorus of Mental Monsters taking over your brain?

If you find yourself thinking, “I feel so lonely right now,” it’s easy to keep that thought process going in the wrong direction until thoughts like, “I will always be alone,” or “no one will ever love me,” creep up on you.

Be aware of what you’re thinking about and stop your negative thoughts before they grow into Mental Monsters that are much harder to control.

Advertising

If you find yourself stressing out, do something that relaxes you. Light some candles or incense, take a nice hot bubble bath, perform some gentle yoga poses, or play soothing music.

4. Reduce Mindless Consumption

Being aware of world events is totally okay, but becoming addicted to the news is a sure-fire way to sink your mood.

Limit your news consumption to a small handful of articles per day because there is no reason to bury yourself in depressing news stories for hours on end.

Watching television is fine in moderation, but spending all of your free hours in front of the tube will do nothing to help you grow or feel better.

Advertising

Read a classic novel you adored in high school, go to a local community theater to enjoy a racy comedy or Shakespearean tragedy, and exercise at least every other day to keep your mind and body at the top of their game.

5. Create Something of Value

The best way to feel happy alone is to spend your time creating something that brings you joy. You could write a novel or self-help book and self-publish it on Amazon, start a blog about a topic that fascinates you, go the the park and paint a landscape to hang on your wall, or learn a new language, like German or Spanish.

Sometimes, it is hard to motivate ourselves to get to work creating at home; so if you’re feeling a lack of inspiration, pack up your notebook and laptop for a field-trip to a park, coffee shop, or downtown bench. A simple change of scenery can do wonders for your productivity.

6. Treat Yourself to a Hot Date

Who says you can’t go to a movie or eat out by yourself? I love treating myself to hot dates because I can choose to go wherever I desire without considering anyone else’s opinion.

Going out by yourself will help you become comfortable with being alone.

More to Help You Learn to Be Happy Alone

Featured photo credit: Caleb Frith via unsplash.com

Read Next