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7 Things To Remember If You Want To Get Over Fear Successfully

7 Things To Remember If You Want To Get Over Fear Successfully

Fear prevents us from pursuing that which we feel is risky, even if such pursuits are what we see as true to ourselves.  Fear paralyzes and prevents us from experiencing life at its highest level of wholeness.  It holds us back.  To properly transcend the chains of fear (which are often perpetuated by self-conscious and delusional behavior) there are some basic things we should remember.

1. Fear relies on your perspective.

Jerry Seinfeld has a joke about public speaking.  He quotes a statistic he read, which stated that the average person fears public speaking more than death.  In other words, at a funeral, they would rather be in the coffin than give the eulogy.  This is a reminder of the loss of perspective fear can impose upon us.  You can only fear that of which you are convinced is a threat. Changing your mind allows for relief from fear.

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2. Meditation gives you the tools to conquer fear.

Even five or ten minutes of meditation daily can improve your response to fear.  Meditate on that which you fear. Let the reasons behind the fear be revealed and contemplated.  Dig deep without overwhelming yourself. Meditation helps us realize that fear is often not grounded in reality.  You can get over it with diligence and mindfulness.

3. Empathy destroys fear.

Try to put yourself in the shoes of someone you imagine to be fearless, or at least unconcerned with whatever particular fear you find is holding you back.  Try to understand their microcosm of experience, their unique individual perspective.  What is it ideologically that allows them to not fear X or Y?  What adaptations in your own thinking can you allow for that will get rid of your fear?

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4. Taking action will set you free.

The hardest part about conquering fear is the psychologically-inflicted torment we perpetuate upon ourselves every time fear prevents action.  Build yourself up enough that you allow yourself to take risks.  Confront what you fear.  It will not be easy, but fear’s worst enemy is its own reflection in a mirror.  Face fear and it will disappear.  If the emotion holds you back from doing something you truly want to do, work towards mindfully pursuing what you fear. This will help you realize it has no power over you.

5. Focus on the present.

Most of our anxieties are imposed by the haunting past or looming future.  Practice being comfortable with whatever you have to deal with in the present.  As you focus less on external circumstances and learn to simply be in the now, fears will fade away into the background.  In the present, we have very little to be afraid of.  Future expectations diminish and concerns about past actions become irrelevant.  Do what you can with what you have, right now.

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6. Write it down.

The subjectivity of thought can magnify our fears and make them seem more imposing than they really are.  Convert your fears from ideas into words; contextualize them.  Write down what it exactly it is that you are afraid of and ways you believe you can work towards eliminating your fear.  In organizing your ideas on paper, you’ll find a level of clarity unachievable exclusively in your own head.

7. You’re not alone.

We all have our fears, hopes and dreams.  We all slip up and focus more on the past and future than the present.  Find a valuable support system for overcoming your fears.  Build an exchange in which you and someone else help one another psychologically overcome that which you are afraid of.  Learn to communicate your insecurities with others and, in articulating your fears, you will be taking a step towards eliminating them.

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Last Updated on July 3, 2020

30 Small Habits To Lead A More Peaceful Life

30 Small Habits To Lead A More Peaceful Life

In today’s world, true peace must come from within us and our own actions. Here are 30 small things you can do on a regular basis to increase your overall sense of harmony, peace, and well-being:

1. Don’t go to every fight you’re invited to

Particularly when you’re around those who thrive on chaos, be willing to decline the invitation to join in on the drama.

2. Focus on your breath

Throughout the day, stop to take a few deep breaths. Keep stress at bay with techniques such as “square breathing.” Breathe in for four counts, hold for four counts, then out for four counts, and hold again for four counts. Repeat this cycle four times.

3. Get organized and purge old items

A cluttered space often creates a cluttered spirit. Take the time to get rid of anything you haven’t used in a year and invest in organizational systems that help you sustain a level of neatness.

4. Stop yourself from being judgmental

Whenever you are tempted to have an opinion about someone else’s life, check your intentions. Judging others creates and promotes negative energy.

5. Say ‘thank you’ early and often

Start and end each day with an attitude of gratitude. Look for opportunities in your daily routine and interactions to express appreciation.

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6. Smile more

Even if you have to “fake it until you make it,” there are many scientific benefits of smiling and laughing. Also, pay attention to your facial expression when you are doing neutral activities such as driving and walking. Turn that frown upside down!

7. Don’t worry about the future

As difficult as this sounds, there is a direct connection between staying in the present and living a more peaceful life. You cannot control the future. As the old proverb goes, “Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it won’t get you anywhere.” Practice gently bringing your thoughts back to the present.

8. Eat real food

The closer the food is to the state from which it came from the earth, the better you will feel in eating it. Choose foods that grew from a plant over food that was made in a plant.

9. Choose being happy over being right

Too often, we sacrifice inner peace in order to make a point. It’s rarely worth it.

10. Keep technology out of the bedroom

Many studies, such as one conducted by Brigham and Women’s Hospital, have connected blue light of electronic devices before bed to adverse sleep and overall health. To make matters worse, many people report that they cannot resist checking email and social media when their cell phone is in reach of their bed, regardless of the time.

11. Make use of filtering features on social media

You may not want to “unfriend” someone completely, however you can choose whether you want to follow their posts and/or the sources of information that they share.

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12. Get comfortable with silence

When you picture someone who is the ultimate state of peace, typically they aren’t talking.

13. Listen to understand, not to respond

So often in conversations, we use our ears to give us cues about when it is our turn to say what we want to say. Practice active listening, ask questions, process, then speak.

14. Put your troubles in a bubble

Whenever you start to feel anxious, visualize the situation being wrapped in a bubble and then picture that sphere floating away.

15. Speak more slowly

Often a lack of peace manifests itself in fast or clipped speech. Take a breath, slow down, and let your thoughtful consideration drive your words.

16. Don’t procrastinate

Nothing adds stress to our lives like waiting until the last minute.

17. Buy a coloring book

Mandala coloring books for adults are becoming more popular because of their connection to creating inner peace.

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18. Prioritize yourself

You are the only person who you are guaranteed to live with 24 hours a day for the rest of your life.

19. Forgive others

Holding a grudge is hurting you exponentially more than anyone else. Let it go.

20. Check your expectations

Presumption often leads to drama. Remember the old saying, “Expectations are premeditated resentments.”

21. Engage in active play

Let your inner child come out and have some fun. Jump, dance, play, and pretend!

22. Stop criticizing yourself

The world is a hard enough place with more than enough critics. Your life is not served well by being one of them.

23. Focus your energy and attention on what you want

Thoughts, words, and actions all create energy. Energy attracts like energy. Put out what you want to get back.

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24. Assign yourself “complaint free” days.

Make a conscious decision not to complain about anything for a whole day. It might be harder than you think and the awareness will stick with you.

25. Surround yourself with people you truly enjoy being in the company of

Personalities tend to be contagious, and not everyone’s is worth catching. Be judicious in your choices.

26. Manage your money

Financial concerns rank top on the list of what causes people stress. Take the time each month to do a budget, calculate what you actually spend and sanity check that against the money you have coming in.

27. Stop trying to control everything

Not only is your inner control freak sabotaging your sense of peace, it is also likely getting in the way of external relationships as well.

28. Practice affirmations

Repeat positive phrases that depict the life and qualities you want to attract. It may not come naturally to you, but it works.

29. Get up before sunrise

Personally witnessing the dawn brings a unique sense of awe and appreciation for life.

30. Be yourself

Nothing creates more inner discord than trying to be something other than who we really are. Authenticity breeds happiness.

Featured photo credit: man watching sunrise via stokpic.com

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