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7 Things Every Couple Should Do To Protect The Relationship From Infidelity

7 Things Every Couple Should Do To Protect The Relationship From Infidelity

Studies show a variety of results on infidelity, but the general consensus is that 30–40% of men and 20–30% of women will cheat on their partner at some point in their relationship. Don’t let those numbers cause despair! You don’t have to be resigned to the fact that you will cheat or be cheated on. Talk to your partner and try these seven things to protect the relationship from infidelity.

1. Be honest with yourself about your weaknesses.

If you go out to a bar with friends and have a few drinks, do you get a little flirty? If so, be honest with yourself. Don’t let yourself drink enough to get to that point, or stay with your group of friends instead of letting your eyes roam. If you play off your weaknesses as just harmless things that happen, you’re more likely to easily write off excuses for further indiscretions. You have to call yourself out on what potentially negative habits you have and keep them in check, otherwise they could pick up steam and turn into a mistake you’re going to regret.

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2. Discuss your boundaries.

Talk with your partner about what fidelity means to you. Does flirting count as cheating? Can they have close friends of the opposite sex? If they talk on the phone for hours with that friend, are you confident that it’s only a friendship? What about reconnecting with exes on social media? Make sure you both want fidelity in the relationship, and set guidelines for what that fidelity entails. If you don’t agree, then you might need to rethink the relationship. Make sure to keep an even playing field – if you think flirting is infidelity when your partner does it, you can’t do it either, even if you know it’s not going anywhere.

3. Avoid tempting situations.

Don’t put yourself in a situation where you’ll be alone with an attractive member of the opposite sex, or where you’ll be drinking without your partner, but with some cute bar patrons. You might think you’ll have no problem turning anything down, but once you’re already in the situation, it’s incredibly easy to keep going with the flow – the flow that might lead to a mistake that ends your relationship! It’s much harder to get yourself out of a tempting situation once it’s started, so it’s best to avoid them completely.

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4. Talk to friends who will hold you accountable.

If you’ve had a fidelity problem in the past, or think you might cheat on your current partner, surround yourself with friends that can help you through. Make sure you trust them completely and know that they won’t just say they’ll help you through, then egg you on once you’re knee deep in the tempting situation.

5. Make better choices.

This goes hand in hand with being honest with yourself about your weaknesses and avoiding tempting situations. Making better choices means you’re consciously making the effort to better yourself and save your relationship. Any time you find yourself in a questionable situation, or having thoughts that might lead you astray, you need to make a decision to stay on track and do what’s best for your relationship.

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6. Don’t keep secrets.

Being honest with your partner is just as important as being honest with yourself. You don’t need to tell your partner every time you think about someone other than them, because that will just hurt their feelings and bruise the relationship, but do tell them if you’re having the thoughts in general. Tell them if you’re worried about going out with certain friends because of the environment and mindset everyone will be in. Don’t keep secrets about things that happened during your work day, even if it involves your attractive coworker. Keeping secrets about even the smallest things makes it easier to keep the big issues quiet, too. Keeping secrets of any kind is the first step towards damaging a relationship that used to be strong.

7. Communicate openly.

Make sure you can communicate openly with your partner. Don’t get angry when they tell you their thoughts and feelings, and let them know you expect them to stay calm when you talk, as well. Tell them whatever’s on your mind regarding yourself, them, your relationship, and your hopes and dreams for the future. Sharing everything and making sure you’re on the same page about your relationship and how it’s progressing will make you feel closer, and feeling closer will make you less inclined to cheat because you’re happy with what you have.

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Featured photo credit: Guian Bolisay via flickr.com

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Last Updated on July 10, 2020

How to Reinvent Yourself and Change Your Life

How to Reinvent Yourself and Change Your Life

There will always be times in your life when you may need to learn how to reinvent yourself. This could come when you experience a big change, such as leaving your job, moving on from a relationship, transferring to a new home, or losing a loved one. If you are going through a major shift in your life, you may have to find new ways of thinking or doing things, or risk failing to reach your full potential.

“When something bad happens, you have three choices. You can let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.”

Many people who dared to leave their old unhappy lives enabled themselves to pursue their passions and find a renewed zest for living. You can also achieve the same if you take a leap of faith and make things happen for yourself.

To help you always be at your best wherever you may be in your life, here are some practical tips on how to reinvent yourself.

The Reinvention Checklist

Before embarking on a journey of self-reinvention, you need to make sure that you have everything that you need to make the trip bump-proof. These things include:

Resilience

Problems and obstacles are guaranteed to happen. Some of them will be difficult and may knock you off course; the important thing, however, is that you learn from these difficulties, never lose focus, and always get back up. This requires building resilience to get through the tough times.

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Support

Humans are social beings. Although it is important that you learn to rely on yourself when facing any challenge, it is also important to have a support team that you can lean on to give you a boost when things get too tough and to correct you when you’re making mistakes.

The key is to find the right balance between independence and dependence. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and share the difficulties you’re facing. When you open up, you’ll find the people who are really going to be there for you.

Self-Care

During the process of learning how to reinvent yourself, you will have to pull yourself away from your old comfort zones, habits, roles, and self-perceptions. This can be difficult and cause you to question your self-worth, so it’s important to engage in self-care to maintain a positive outlook and keep your mind and body healthy as you face the challenges that await you. Self-care can include:

  • Participating in a hobby you enjoy
  • Spending time with your support system
  • Taking some time to walk in nature
  • Practicing loving-kindness meditation

Find what works for you and what helps you feel like your true self as you seek a reinvented version of you.

How to Reinvent Yourself

Once you’re sure that you’re equipped with all the tools in the self-reinvention checklist, you can begin your journey of learning how to reinvent yourself.

1. Discover Your Strengths

This step provides valuable information on how you deal with certain situations. If you have this information, you will be able to manage difficulties more efficiently.

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To find out what your strengths are, you can ask your friends and colleagues for feedback, engage in self-reflection, or try these 10 Ways to Find Your Own Personal Strengths.

2. Plan

This step calls for a thorough assessment of your current emotional, psychological, and financial status so that you can develop plans that are realistic and practical.

It’s okay to have ambitious dreams, but your plans have to be realistic. Making use of SMART goals can help you plan your life better.

You can also consult your mentor or life coach for practical tips and advice.

Ultimately, you’ll want to create specific long-term and short-term goals that you can create milestones for. By doing this, you’ll lay out a specific roadmap to your reinvented self.

3. Try Things Out

Sometimes, we don’t know if solutions actually work until we try them out. This is why it is important to experiment whenever possible, especially if you’re dealing with a career change. You may need to simply experiment in order to find the things you like. This can be the same with hobbies. If you’re not sure what you would like doing, accept invitations from friends to join them in their favorite sport or take a class, like pottery or photography.

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By seeing what’s out there in any area of your life, you’ll have a better chance of finding the things you enjoy and the goals you want to create.

4. Manage Your Finances Well

Changes may require a bit of money. If you’re shifting to a new career, you may have to pay for training. If you’re going through a tough divorce or having a hard time dealing with the death of a loved one, you may have to pay for therapy. If you’re moving to a new home, you’ll definitely have to pay a whole lot of expenses.

All of these things are possible, but it will require a bit of money savviness as you learn how to reinvent yourself. If you have that cushion, you’ll feel more comfortable straying from your current path to try new things.

5. Muster Your Courage

Fears and self-doubt may arise when you encounter difficulties and setbacks. Sometimes, they may also come when you’re taking risks. You have to manage these negative emotions well and not allow them to discourage you. Tap into your courage and try doing at least one new thing each week to develop it.

Learn how to deal with your self-doubts to move forward in this article: How Self Doubt Keeps You Stuck (And How to Overcome It)

6. Use Your Support Group

As stated above, you need to build a strong support group before you even start the process of reinventing yourself. Your group will keep you from taking wrong turns and encourage you when you get too weighed down by problems. Don’t be afraid to call them, or even ask them out for coffee if you need to vent about the current difficulties you’re facing.

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7. Remind Yourself Every Day of Your Commitment

Write your goals on different-sized cards and scatter them at home and at work in places where you can easily see them. This way, you will constantly be reminded of where you want to be. Remember, writing down your goals helps them stick[1].

8. Accept Failure, Learn, and Resume Your Journey

Failing is normal, especially when we’re trying out something new. When you fail, simply recognize it, learn from it, and move on. Failure, in the end, is the best way to learn what does and doesn’t work, and you simply won’t be able to learn how to reinvent yourself if you don’t accept the inevitable failures that await you.

Final Thoughts

If you truly want to learn how to reinvent yourself and live the life you desire, take the advice above and start taking action. It will take time, patience, and plenty of effort to make the change you want happen, but it will be all worth it.

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Featured photo credit: Ashley Rich via unsplash.com

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