1. Stop constantly comparing yourself to others
It is easy in the age of digital media, to be constantly bombarded with snapshots of other people’s ideal lives. Scrolling through your Facebook newsfeed it is hard not to feel discouraged when you see photos of friends on tropical vacations, eating Thai from your favorite restaurant or effortless looking stylish with some of the latest fashion trends. Remind yourself that what may appear on the surface is not the entire picture and comparing yourself to them is not only inaccurate, but a waste of time.
2. Begin with changing what you can control
It is important to really look at your insecurities and estimate if you can realistically change what you dislike about yourself. If it is something physical, like losing weight, create a plan that is reasonable for your abilities and then take baby steps towards your goals. If your lack of confidence is psychological, it is important to look into why you feel this way, possibly with the help of a close friend or professional help in the form of a therapist. If you feel like you have trouble speaking up for instance, pinpoint a moment in your day when you feel like you should stand up for yourself and then encourage yourself to do so. It will be hard in the beginning, but after awhile it will be easier.
3. Fake it until you make it
It can be very hard to confront your own moments of insecurity and try to act confident when you really feel like you would rather magically disappear from the situation. It is important in moments like these to pretend to have confidence, even when you feel like it is the last thing that defines you. A helpful tip is to go into a private space and put your hands on your hips, with your feet spread apart. This is called the superwoman/man stance and has been proven to help individuals gain more confidence through body language.
4. Remind yourself that the loudest voice in the room is not always the person that has the most confidence
In Western culture we are taught that the volume of your voice is equivalent to a person’s level of confidence. This is not always true because it can just be a way for someone to be mask their own feelings of insecurity. It is important to remember that if you speak with an even tone and do not ask for validation in the form of a question when you speak, then you can still be seen as a confident person. If you are quiet because you lack confidence, practice speaking in front of a mirror every day by yourself and find a tone of voice that you feel comfortable with. Say positive affirmations to yourself and pretty soon you will start believing them.
5. Push any doubts about yourself to the back of your mind
Everyone, no matter how confident they may seem, has something that they do not like about themselves. The difference between people who appear confident is that they focus on their strengths and not their weaknesses. When you hear the little voice of doubt in your head, practice replacing those doubts with things that you excel in. It may be hard at first, but remember practice makes progress.
6. Stay diligent and consistent in building a more confident version of yourself
It’s important to remember that change takes time and consistent effort. If you don’t feel like you are making progress in a larger scale, focus on smaller accomplishments. One way to notice change is by keeping a record of each day and writing down what you feel you accomplished. Looking back on each day, week and month you will start to notice improvement.
7. Find a solid support group
When focusing on confidence-building it’s important to have a group of friends, romantic partners and family that are 100 percent behind your goals. If you have anyone who is toxic to your self-improvement and will not support you, then it is important to talk with them about this. Sit down with them face to face and explain how you feel or write them a heartfelt email. If they are still not supportive, than maybe it’s in your best interest to discontinue the relationship.
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