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6 Differences Between Ones Who Like You And The One Who’ll Keep You

6 Differences Between Ones Who Like You And The One Who’ll Keep You

If you’re like most of us, no matter what relationship you are in, you’re likely to think at one time or another that you’re with the one. As much as we’d like to follow our hearts however, finding the one is more than just a matter of strong attraction. It’s important to make sure your heart and your head agree if you are spending the rest of your life with someone, so it’s vital to sort out the qualities that make someone worth spending your life with. Overall, the biggest indicator is when someone is truly selfless, invested, and interested in who you are and what you want. The following points will help you make that distinction, and are qualities anyone should value when looking for the one.

Attention Vs Care

One big difference between someone you like and someone you should stay with is paying attention to you, versus caring about you. Any healthy romantic relationship means that the other person should pay attention to your desires, likes, and day-to-day schedule. However, when somebody really cares, there’s a difference. Someone who listens to your favorite songs just to get to know you better, for example, is somebody who cares about you and isn’t just paying attention for the short term benefits.

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All Talk Vs All Action

It’s easy to have feelings for people who are smooth talkers. It seems that they know just how to appeal to your insecurities and hopes. However, when you’re with the one who is really interested in you, you’ll find that actions speak louder than words. Especially when you have disagreements and ask your other half to change the way they treat you; words promising to make changes are nowhere near as important as active steps. When you find someone who is willing to put in the effort and make real decisions for your best interest, keep them.

Hearing Vs Listening

Another difference between a significant other and a significant other who could be the one, is how they listen to you. If your significant other appears to listen to you, but rarely understands what you’re saying or makes changes, they may just be hearing you instead of listening to you.

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Interest Vs Investment

Another way to recognize the one is how interested they are in you. Anyone you date is likely to show some amount of interest in your passions and career, however the one will be truly invested in everything from your relationships, to how your day goes. You should always seek out people who are truly invested in you, and want to see you be your happiest. If you’re going to be with someone long term, it is crucial that they are not only interested in you, but invested in you.

Concerned Vs Involved

Another way to measure whether you are with the one, is to consider how involved they are in your life. Someone who sees themselves with you for a long period of time will not just concern themselves with your life and family, but will look for new ways to be truly involved. When your significant other moves from learning the names of your relatives to cracking jokes with and looking forward to seeing them, you know you have someone special.

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Thinking For You Vs Thinking Of You

Another way to sort out whether your relationship is the right one, is to consider whether they think of you or for you. An involved, concerned significant other will offer you advice, give you feedback, and be honest about their opinions. However, a love interest who offers cutting criticisms, and makes you feel less confident is a sign that they are thinking for you and not about what’s best for you. Always try to find those who are honest about what they think, without manipulating you or shaming you into doing what they want. When you’re with the one, it should always be obvious that they want what’s best for you, not what’s best for them.

Featured photo credit: Dennis Skley via flickr.com

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Alicia Prince

A writer, filmmaker, and artist who shares about lifestyle tips and inspirations on Lifehack.

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Last Updated on September 12, 2019

12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life

12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life

Even the most charismatic people you know, whether in person or celebrities of some sort, experience days where they feel lost in life and isolated from everyone else.

While it’s good to know we aren’t alone in this feeling, the question still remains:

What should we do when we feel lost and lonely?

Here are 12 things to remember:

1. Recognize That It’s Okay!

The truth is, there are times you need to be alone. If you’ve always been accustomed to being in contact with people, this may prove difficult.

However, learning how to be alone and comfortable in your own skin will give you confidence and a sense of self reliance.

We cheat ourselves out of the opportunity to become self reliant when we look for constant companionship.

Learn how to embrace your me time: What Your Fear of Being Alone Is Really About and How to Get over It

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2. Use Your Lost and Loneliness as a Self-Directing Guide

You’ve most likely heard the expression: “You have to know where you’ve been to know where you’re going.”

Loneliness also serves as a life signal to indicate you’re in search of something. It’s when we’re in the midst of solitude that answers come from true soul searching.

Remember, there is more to life than what you’re feeling.

3. Realize Loneliness Helps You Face the Truth

Being in the constant company of others, although comforting sometimes, can often serve as a distraction when we need to face the reality of a situation.

Solitude cuts straight to the chase and forces you to deal with the problem at hand. See it as a blessing that can serve as a catalyst to set things right!

4. Be Aware That You Have More Control Than You Think

Typically, when we see ourselves as being lost or lonely, it gives us an excuse to view everything we come in contact with in a negative light. It lends itself to putting ourselves in the victim mode, when the truth of the matter is that you choose your attitude in every situation.

No one can force a feeling upon you! It is YOU who has the ultimate say as to how you choose to react.

5. Embrace the Freedom That the Feeling of Being Alone Can Offer

Instead of wallowing in self pity, which many are prone to do because of loneliness, try looking at your circumstance as a new-found freedom.

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Most people are in constant need of approval of their viewpoints. Try enjoying the fact that  you don’t need everyone you care about to support your decisions.

6. Acknowledge the Person You Are Now

Perhaps you feel a sense of loneliness and confusion because your life circumstances have taken you away from the persona that others know to be you.

Perhaps the new you differs radically from the old. Realize that life is about change and how we react to that change. It’s okay that you’re not who you used to be.

Take a look at this article and learn to accept your imperfect self: Accept Yourself (Flaws and All): 7 Benefits of Being Vulnerable

7. Keep Striving to Do Your Best

Often those who are feeling isolated and unto themselves will develop a defeatist attitude. They’ll do substandard work because their self esteem is low and they don’t care.

Never let this feeling take away your sense of worth! Do your best always and when you come through this dark time, others will admire how you stayed determined in spite of the obstacles you had to overcome.

And to live your best life, you must do this ONE thing: step out of your comfort zone.

8. Don’t Forget That Time Is Precious

When we’re lost in a sea of loneliness and depression, it’s all too easy to reflect on regrets of past life events. This does nothing but feed negativity and perpetuate the situation.

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Instead of falling prey to this common pitfall, put one foot in front of the other and acknowledge every positive step you take. By doing this, you can celebrate the struggles you overcome at the end of the day.

9. Remember, Things Happen for a Reason

Every circumstance we encounter in our life is designed to teach us and that lesson is in turn passed on to others.

Sometimes we’re fortunate enough to figure out the lesson to be learned, while other times, we simply need to have faith that if the lesson wasn’t meant directly for us to learn from, how we handled it was observed by someone who needed to learn.

Your solitude and feeling of lost, in this instance, although painful possibly, may be teaching someone else.

10. Journal During This Time

Record your thoughts when you’re at the height of loneliness and feeling lost. You’ll be amazed when you reflect back at how you viewed things at the time and how far you’ve come later.

This time (if recorded) can give you a keen insight into who you are and what makes you feel the way you feel.

11. Remember You Aren’t the First to Feel This Way

It’s quite common to feel as if we’re alone and no one else has ever felt this way before. We think this because at the time of our distress, we’re silently observing others around us who are seemingly fine in every way.

The truth is, we can’t possibly know the struggles of those around us unless they elect to share them. We ALL have known this pain!

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Try confiding in someone you trust and ask them how they deal with these feelings when they experienced it. You may be surprised at what you learn.

12. Ask for Help If the Problem Persists

The feeling of being lost and lonely is common to everyone, but typically it will last for a relatively short period of time.

Most people will confess to, at one time or another, being in a “funk.” But if the problem persists longer than you feel it should, don’t ignore it.

When your ability to reason and consider things rationally becomes impaired, do not poo poo the problem away and think it isn’t worthy of attention. Seek medical help.

Afraid to ask for help? Here’s how to change your outlook to aim high!

Final Thoughts

Loneliness and a sense of feeling lost can in many ways be extremely painful and difficult to deal with at best. However, these feelings can also serve as a catalyst for change in our lives if we acknowledge them and act.

Above anything, cherish your mental well being and don’t underestimate its worth. Seek professional guidance if you’re unable to distinguish between a sense of freedom for yourself and a sense of despair.

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Featured photo credit: Andrew Neel via unsplash.com

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