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5 Ways to Start Feeling Secure in Your Relationship

5 Ways to Start Feeling Secure in Your Relationship

You are in a relationship, and everything is going great, but you still find yourself not feeling secure enough to you trust your partner completely. The question is not why, but how to find that security. It takes work, but when you will be able to get there, you will be rewarded with a great deal of happiness and joy for the soul.

1. Your partner’s mind is theirs to be read, not yours.

The first problem that couples usually meet is the fact that they tend not to have many deep conversations about the future, about the things they love or hate, or even about their day-to-day activities. At some point, one of the two will consider this as not being enough, and will start interpreting every gesture of the other person’s, and moments like this should be avoided, because they tend to bring fights that have no sense.

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2. A perfect relationship does not exist.

Stop looking for the perfect relationship, for the perfect man, for the perfect woman, the perfect body or the perfect eyes. If they love you, if they are with you in good and bad times, if they bring you ice cream at 2 a.m., then you have found the perfect someone. It is always the picture in our head about how it is supposed to be that ruins every relationship that we have, and making us not be able to see what beauty surrounds us, leading to a failure of a relationship. Everyone is perfect in their own way, you just have to go and find the small perfections in the imperfection.

3. Leave the past at the door.

What kind of a relationship will you have if you always remind your boyfriend or girlfriend about every single mistake that your ex has done to hurt you? Of course they hurt you; that is the reason why they are no longer your partner! Even if it was cheating, not paying enough attention to you, or simply breaking up to you because they did not consider that you were good enough for them, they still broke your heart.

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4. Where there is no problem do not make one up!

If your relationship has not had any problems until now, no not try to start finding ways of getting into a fight: the toilet seat is still up, the toothpaste cap is not on, the juice is too warm or your beer opener is not where it is supposed to be. Start forgiving the small “problems” that you think your partner is making, you never know what problems you may cause him or her! The small fights are not that important, but when they start to be often, even daily, they may cause a rupture that will not be repaired by anyone.

5. Start focusing on the positive things that are happening to you

We all are different, we all want different things, but if we do them together in a way that we love, then we all get to the perfect relationship easily. If you have a problem in the present, look at the future with optimism, if you had problems in the past, look at the present with thanks. Thank for every beautiful moment that you share together and be thankful for every beautiful moment that comes to you, for you will always remember it with grace, whatever the future may bring.

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This being said, what is the advice you would give to yourself in a relationship, in order for it to get better? Do you have the perfect partner?

Featured photo credit: love is in the air, love is everywhere/ Luz Adriana Villa via flickr.com

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Last Updated on October 17, 2019

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

You see your partner every single day. They are the first person you talk to in the morning and the last person you kiss goodnight.

But does seeing each other day in and day out equal a healthy relationship? Not necessarily.

Spending quality time with your partner is the best way to ensure your relationship stays healthy and strong. This means going above and beyond sitting together while you watch Netflix or going out for the occasional dinner. You deserve more from your relationship – and so does your spouse!

What does quality time mean? It means spending time with your spouse without interruption. It’s a chance for you to come together and talk. Communication will build emotional intimacy and trust.

Quality time is also about expressing love in a physical way. Not sex, necessarily (but that’s great, too!) but through hand-holding, cuddling, caressing, and tickling. Studies show that these displays of affection will boost partner satisfaction.[1]

So how do you spend quality time with your partner? Here are 13 relationship tips on making the most out of your time with your partner.

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1. Recognize the Signs

If you want a healthy relationship, you have to learn how to recognize the signs that you need to spend more quality time together.

Some telltale signs include:

  • You’re always on your phones.
  • You value friendships or hobbies over quality time with your spouse.
  • You aren’t together during important events.
  • You are arguing more often or lack connection.
  • You don’t make plans or date nights.
  • You’re not happy.

If you are experiencing any of these relationship symptoms, know that quality time together can reverse the negative effects of the signs above.

2. Try New Things Together

Have you ever wanted to learn how to play an instrument or speak another language? How about skydive or ballroom dance?

Instead of viewing these as solo hobbies and interests, why not involve your partner?

Trying new activities together builds healthy relationships because it encourages spouses to rely on one another for emotional and physical support.

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Shared hobbies also promote marital friendship, and the Journal of Happiness Studies found that marital satisfaction was twice as high for couples who viewed each other as best friends.[2]

3. Schedule in Tech-Free Time

Your phone is a great way to listen to music, watch videos, and keep up-to-date with friends and family. But is your phone good for your relationship?

Many couples phone snub, or ‘phub’, one another. Studies show that phubbing can lower relationship satisfaction and increase one’s chances of depression.[3]

Reduce those chances by removing distractions when spending quality time together and showing your partner they have your full attention.

4. Hit the Gym as a Couple

One way you can spend more time together as a couple is by becoming workout partners. Studies show that couples are more likely to stay with their exercise routine if they work out together.[4] Couples also work out harder than they would solo. One study found that 95 percent of couples who work out together maintained weight loss compares to the 66 percent of singles who did.[5]

Join a gym, do at-home couples’ workouts, try couples yoga, hit the hiking trails, or get your bikes out. No matter which way you choose to exercise, these healthy activities can promote a healthy relationship.

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5. Cook Meals Together

Pop open a bottle of wine or put some romantic music on while you get busy – in the kitchen, of course!

One of the best relationship tips for spending quality time together when you both have busy schedules is to cook meals together.[6]

Spice things up and try and prepare a four-course meal or a fancy French dish together. Not only is this a fun way to spend your time together, but it also promotes teamwork.

If all goes well, you’ll have a romantic date night meal at home that you prepared with your four hands. And if the food didn’t turn out the way you’d hoped, you are guaranteed to have a laugh and create new memories together.

6. Have a Regular Date Night

Couples experience a greater sense of happiness and less stress when they are spending quality time together.[7] One of the biggest relationship tips for a healthy partnership is to include a date night in your weekly routine.

The National Marriage Project found that having a weekly date night can make your relationship seem more exciting and helps prevent relationship boredom.[8] It also lowers the probability of divorce, improves your sex life, and increases healthy communication.

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Some great ideas for what to do on your date night include:

  • Have a movie marathon – Gather up your favorite flicks and cuddle up on the couch.
  • Play games together – Cards, board games, video games, and other creative outlets are a fun way to spend quality time together.
  • Recreate your first date – Go back to that restaurant and order the same meal you did when you first got together. You can spice up your evening by pretending you’re strangers meeting for the first time and see how sexy the night gets.
  • Plan a weekend getaway – There’s nothing better than traveling with the one you love.
  • Dinner and a movie – A classic!
  • Try a new restaurant – Make it your mission to rate and try all of the Mexican restaurants/Irish pubs/Italian trattorias in your area.
  • Have a long sex session – Intimacy promotes the release of the oxytocin hormone which is responsible for a myriad of great feelings.[9]

Here’re even more date night ideas for your reference: 50 Unique and Really Fun Date Ideas for Couples

Final Thoughts

The benefits of spending quality time together are endless. Here are just some of the ways it can contribute to a healthy relationship:

  • Improves emotional and physical intimacy
  • Lowers divorce rates
  • Improves communication
  • Reduces marital boredom
  • Bonds couples closer
  • Improves friendship
  • Boosts health
  • Reduces stress

These are all excellent reasons to start making date night a regular part of your week.

It’s easy to have a healthy relationship when you set aside dedicated time to share with your spouse. Try new things together, make your spouse your workout buddy, and look for innovative ways to be close and connected.

These relationship tips will bring great benefits to your marriage.

Featured photo credit: Allen Taylor via unsplash.com

Reference

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