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5 Ways to Start Feeling Secure in Your Relationship

5 Ways to Start Feeling Secure in Your Relationship

You are in a relationship, and everything is going great, but you still find yourself not feeling secure enough to you trust your partner completely. The question is not why, but how to find that security. It takes work, but when you will be able to get there, you will be rewarded with a great deal of happiness and joy for the soul.

1. Your partner’s mind is theirs to be read, not yours.

The first problem that couples usually meet is the fact that they tend not to have many deep conversations about the future, about the things they love or hate, or even about their day-to-day activities. At some point, one of the two will consider this as not being enough, and will start interpreting every gesture of the other person’s, and moments like this should be avoided, because they tend to bring fights that have no sense.

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2. A perfect relationship does not exist.

Stop looking for the perfect relationship, for the perfect man, for the perfect woman, the perfect body or the perfect eyes. If they love you, if they are with you in good and bad times, if they bring you ice cream at 2 a.m., then you have found the perfect someone. It is always the picture in our head about how it is supposed to be that ruins every relationship that we have, and making us not be able to see what beauty surrounds us, leading to a failure of a relationship. Everyone is perfect in their own way, you just have to go and find the small perfections in the imperfection.

3. Leave the past at the door.

What kind of a relationship will you have if you always remind your boyfriend or girlfriend about every single mistake that your ex has done to hurt you? Of course they hurt you; that is the reason why they are no longer your partner! Even if it was cheating, not paying enough attention to you, or simply breaking up to you because they did not consider that you were good enough for them, they still broke your heart.

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4. Where there is no problem do not make one up!

If your relationship has not had any problems until now, no not try to start finding ways of getting into a fight: the toilet seat is still up, the toothpaste cap is not on, the juice is too warm or your beer opener is not where it is supposed to be. Start forgiving the small “problems” that you think your partner is making, you never know what problems you may cause him or her! The small fights are not that important, but when they start to be often, even daily, they may cause a rupture that will not be repaired by anyone.

5. Start focusing on the positive things that are happening to you

We all are different, we all want different things, but if we do them together in a way that we love, then we all get to the perfect relationship easily. If you have a problem in the present, look at the future with optimism, if you had problems in the past, look at the present with thanks. Thank for every beautiful moment that you share together and be thankful for every beautiful moment that comes to you, for you will always remember it with grace, whatever the future may bring.

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This being said, what is the advice you would give to yourself in a relationship, in order for it to get better? Do you have the perfect partner?

Featured photo credit: love is in the air, love is everywhere/ Luz Adriana Villa via flickr.com

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Last Updated on January 18, 2019

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

1. Limit the time you spend with them.

First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

2. Speak up for yourself.

Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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5. Change the subject.

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

7. Leave them behind.

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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