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5 Ways to Start Feeling Secure in Your Relationship

5 Ways to Start Feeling Secure in Your Relationship

You are in a relationship, and everything is going great, but you still find yourself not feeling secure enough to you trust your partner completely. The question is not why, but how to find that security. It takes work, but when you will be able to get there, you will be rewarded with a great deal of happiness and joy for the soul.

1. Your partner’s mind is theirs to be read, not yours.

The first problem that couples usually meet is the fact that they tend not to have many deep conversations about the future, about the things they love or hate, or even about their day-to-day activities. At some point, one of the two will consider this as not being enough, and will start interpreting every gesture of the other person’s, and moments like this should be avoided, because they tend to bring fights that have no sense.

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2. A perfect relationship does not exist.

Stop looking for the perfect relationship, for the perfect man, for the perfect woman, the perfect body or the perfect eyes. If they love you, if they are with you in good and bad times, if they bring you ice cream at 2 a.m., then you have found the perfect someone. It is always the picture in our head about how it is supposed to be that ruins every relationship that we have, and making us not be able to see what beauty surrounds us, leading to a failure of a relationship. Everyone is perfect in their own way, you just have to go and find the small perfections in the imperfection.

3. Leave the past at the door.

What kind of a relationship will you have if you always remind your boyfriend or girlfriend about every single mistake that your ex has done to hurt you? Of course they hurt you; that is the reason why they are no longer your partner! Even if it was cheating, not paying enough attention to you, or simply breaking up to you because they did not consider that you were good enough for them, they still broke your heart.

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4. Where there is no problem do not make one up!

If your relationship has not had any problems until now, no not try to start finding ways of getting into a fight: the toilet seat is still up, the toothpaste cap is not on, the juice is too warm or your beer opener is not where it is supposed to be. Start forgiving the small “problems” that you think your partner is making, you never know what problems you may cause him or her! The small fights are not that important, but when they start to be often, even daily, they may cause a rupture that will not be repaired by anyone.

5. Start focusing on the positive things that are happening to you

We all are different, we all want different things, but if we do them together in a way that we love, then we all get to the perfect relationship easily. If you have a problem in the present, look at the future with optimism, if you had problems in the past, look at the present with thanks. Thank for every beautiful moment that you share together and be thankful for every beautiful moment that comes to you, for you will always remember it with grace, whatever the future may bring.

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This being said, what is the advice you would give to yourself in a relationship, in order for it to get better? Do you have the perfect partner?

Featured photo credit: love is in the air, love is everywhere/ Luz Adriana Villa via flickr.com

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Last Updated on July 3, 2020

30 Small Habits To Lead A More Peaceful Life

30 Small Habits To Lead A More Peaceful Life

In today’s world, true peace must come from within us and our own actions. Here are 30 small things you can do on a regular basis to increase your overall sense of harmony, peace, and well-being:

1. Don’t go to every fight you’re invited to

Particularly when you’re around those who thrive on chaos, be willing to decline the invitation to join in on the drama.

2. Focus on your breath

Throughout the day, stop to take a few deep breaths. Keep stress at bay with techniques such as “square breathing.” Breathe in for four counts, hold for four counts, then out for four counts, and hold again for four counts. Repeat this cycle four times.

3. Get organized and purge old items

A cluttered space often creates a cluttered spirit. Take the time to get rid of anything you haven’t used in a year and invest in organizational systems that help you sustain a level of neatness.

4. Stop yourself from being judgmental

Whenever you are tempted to have an opinion about someone else’s life, check your intentions. Judging others creates and promotes negative energy.

5. Say ‘thank you’ early and often

Start and end each day with an attitude of gratitude. Look for opportunities in your daily routine and interactions to express appreciation.

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6. Smile more

Even if you have to “fake it until you make it,” there are many scientific benefits of smiling and laughing. Also, pay attention to your facial expression when you are doing neutral activities such as driving and walking. Turn that frown upside down!

7. Don’t worry about the future

As difficult as this sounds, there is a direct connection between staying in the present and living a more peaceful life. You cannot control the future. As the old proverb goes, “Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it won’t get you anywhere.” Practice gently bringing your thoughts back to the present.

8. Eat real food

The closer the food is to the state from which it came from the earth, the better you will feel in eating it. Choose foods that grew from a plant over food that was made in a plant.

9. Choose being happy over being right

Too often, we sacrifice inner peace in order to make a point. It’s rarely worth it.

10. Keep technology out of the bedroom

Many studies, such as one conducted by Brigham and Women’s Hospital, have connected blue light of electronic devices before bed to adverse sleep and overall health. To make matters worse, many people report that they cannot resist checking email and social media when their cell phone is in reach of their bed, regardless of the time.

11. Make use of filtering features on social media

You may not want to “unfriend” someone completely, however you can choose whether you want to follow their posts and/or the sources of information that they share.

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12. Get comfortable with silence

When you picture someone who is the ultimate state of peace, typically they aren’t talking.

13. Listen to understand, not to respond

So often in conversations, we use our ears to give us cues about when it is our turn to say what we want to say. Practice active listening, ask questions, process, then speak.

14. Put your troubles in a bubble

Whenever you start to feel anxious, visualize the situation being wrapped in a bubble and then picture that sphere floating away.

15. Speak more slowly

Often a lack of peace manifests itself in fast or clipped speech. Take a breath, slow down, and let your thoughtful consideration drive your words.

16. Don’t procrastinate

Nothing adds stress to our lives like waiting until the last minute.

17. Buy a coloring book

Mandala coloring books for adults are becoming more popular because of their connection to creating inner peace.

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18. Prioritize yourself

You are the only person who you are guaranteed to live with 24 hours a day for the rest of your life.

19. Forgive others

Holding a grudge is hurting you exponentially more than anyone else. Let it go.

20. Check your expectations

Presumption often leads to drama. Remember the old saying, “Expectations are premeditated resentments.”

21. Engage in active play

Let your inner child come out and have some fun. Jump, dance, play, and pretend!

22. Stop criticizing yourself

The world is a hard enough place with more than enough critics. Your life is not served well by being one of them.

23. Focus your energy and attention on what you want

Thoughts, words, and actions all create energy. Energy attracts like energy. Put out what you want to get back.

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24. Assign yourself “complaint free” days.

Make a conscious decision not to complain about anything for a whole day. It might be harder than you think and the awareness will stick with you.

25. Surround yourself with people you truly enjoy being in the company of

Personalities tend to be contagious, and not everyone’s is worth catching. Be judicious in your choices.

26. Manage your money

Financial concerns rank top on the list of what causes people stress. Take the time each month to do a budget, calculate what you actually spend and sanity check that against the money you have coming in.

27. Stop trying to control everything

Not only is your inner control freak sabotaging your sense of peace, it is also likely getting in the way of external relationships as well.

28. Practice affirmations

Repeat positive phrases that depict the life and qualities you want to attract. It may not come naturally to you, but it works.

29. Get up before sunrise

Personally witnessing the dawn brings a unique sense of awe and appreciation for life.

30. Be yourself

Nothing creates more inner discord than trying to be something other than who we really are. Authenticity breeds happiness.

Featured photo credit: man watching sunrise via stokpic.com

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