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5 Ways To Overcome Disappointments

5 Ways To Overcome Disappointments

It seems very natural. We get hit by the wrong assumption and the disappointments lurk under the blanket. It’s a phase in which we are sad and displeased caused by false expectations.

It’s just the way of life. We get hit by it and we are in a bad mood until the unpleasant feeling subsides after a while. William Shakespeare said, “Expectation is the root of all heartache.

Whoever shares knowledge about disappointments can state it as “a feeling of false expectations.” That would be the shortest explanation.

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However, as every bad mood has a remedy, disappointment does too. I would like to jump to the five ways to overcome disappointments so I can help you pass the sad feeling.

1. Identify what made you disappointed

I know I am stating the obvious, but finding the rebel that made you feel sad and displeasured is the first step to the remedy. The rebel is false expectation, but if you already find yourself caught in the trap, you should see the reason for it. Your girlfriend or boyfriend cheating on you can be a vast disappointment. It can be cured only if you consider what sphere in your faithfulness needs to be lowered. Of course there is a way and that’s the end of your relationship, but consider the feeling gone once you “see” what made you feel that way.

2. Find pleasure in the disappointment

Finding pleasure in disappointment is about strengthening your character. Pleasure is about satisfaction, and your satisfaction should be that you passed one massive “character” test that made you stronger. Nobody can share knowledge of “what if” if they haven’t survived that feeling. Be grateful that you planted an iron helm onto your brain and you upgraded your level of greatness.

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Always remember, it is all about balance. Nobody can be happy and full of joy all the time. There has to be moments of sadness and displeasure to test your capability of overcoming the bad feelings.

3. Look on the bright side

If you have seen the movie Monty Python you know what I am talking about. It’s about seeing the possibility and bright side in every disappointment, even if you are hung on a cross.

It connects with number two. By finding pleasure in the disappointment we let the shine pass through. Every disappointment helps us become self-determined. By conquering the bad feelings, we have experience in steering the wheel during bad times.

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4. Boost your mood with motivation

It always works, believe me. If you go with the flow and watch sad movies like The Notebook and P.S I Love You or watch Tyson lose from Holyfield after you lost a boxing match, it will make you feel worse. I know it feels right to watch these sorts of movies but you need to force yourself against your will.

Watch a couple of happy ending love stories such as Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind or highlights from Mike Tyson’s knockouts. Not only will it transform your bad mood into positive, but it will motivate you to feel stupid that you felt so sad before. Motivational clips and adrenaline boosting songs always work for me. We are all different so you have to experiment on this one.

5. Lower your expectations

I left this one last because it’s most important. It’s like the cherry on the top of a pie. Expectations can lead to disappointments and that’s the only thing that made you feel sad. We induct so many feelings and false expectations in one particular thing that not only will it make you sad, but it can make you sick. Since all the bad thoughts result in dysfunction of the body, that can result in the break down of the immune system and viruses see the body as a playground.

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It is vital to expect less, because doing so can rarely lead you to sadness. Always remember that bad mood can be cured only by you. The five steps to remedy disappointments once more:

  • Identify what made you disappointed and realize why.
  • Find pleasure in the disappointment by strengthening your character and remember, it’s all about balance.
  • Always look on the bright side as Monty Python did.
  • Boost your mood with motivation (you have to experiment your remedies on this one).
  • Lower your expectations if you want to stay happy for a longer period of time.

Featured photo credit: Kristina Alexanderson via flickr.com

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Last Updated on April 19, 2021

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

We all lose our temper from time to time, and expressing anger is actually a healthy thing to do in our relationships with others. Expressing our differences in opinion allows us to have healthy conflict and many times come to an agreement or understanding that works for everyone. However, there are times when anger can become overwhelming or damaging, and during these times, it’s important to learn how to deal with anger.

Expressing anger inappropriately can be harmful to relationships, both personal and professional. You may express too much anger, too often, or at times that are only going to make things worse, not better. In this article we will look at anger management techniques that will help you better control your emotions.

Let’s take a deeper look at how to deal with anger.

Expressing Anger

Anger is a natural and normal part of almost any relationship. This includes relationships with your significant other, kids, boss, friends, family, etc. Anger provides us with valuable information if we are willing to listen to it. It clues us in to areas where we disagree with others and things that need to be changed or altered.

Unhealthy Ways to Express Anger

Here are some common yet unhealthy ways to express anger that you should avoid:

Being Passive-Aggressive

This is a term many of us are familiar with. Passive-aggressive behavior happens when someone is angry but uses indirect communication to express their anger.

Some of the more common passive-aggressive behaviors include the silent treatment, making comments about someone behind their back, being grumpy, moody, or pouting, or simply not doing tasks or assignments that they should.

This is a passive-aggressive person’s way of showing their anger. It’s not very productive but extremely common.

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Poorly-Timed

Some people get overwhelmed and express anger in a situation where it can’t really do any good.

An example would be getting angry at one person in front of a crowd of people. All that does is make people uncomfortable and shuts them down. It’s not a healthy way to express anger or disagreement with someone.

Ongoing Anger

Being angry all the time is most often a symptom of something else. It’s healthy and normal to express anger when you disagree with someone. However, if someone is angry most of the time and always seems to be expressing their anger to everyone around them, this won’t serve them well.

Over time, people will start to avoid this person and have as little contact as possible. The reason being is no one likes being around someone who is angry all the time; it’s a no-win situation.

Healthy Ways to Express Anger

What about the healthy ways[1] to adapt? When learning how to deal with anger, here are some healthy ways to get you started.

Being Honest

Express your anger or disagreement honestly. Be truthful about what it is that is making you angry. Sometimes this will entail walking away and thinking about it for a bit before you respond.

Don’t say you’re mad at something someone did or said when it’s really something else that upset you.

Being Direct

Similar to being honest, being direct is a healthy way to express anger.

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Don’t talk around something that is making you angry. Don’t say that one thing is making you angry when it’s really something else, and don’t stack items on top of each other so you can unload on someone about 10 different things 6 months from now.

Be direct and upfront about what is making you angry. Ensure you are expressing your anger to the person who upset you or you are angry at, not to someone else. This is very counterproductive.

Being Timely

When something makes you angry, it’s much better to express it in a timely manner. Don’t keep it bottled up inside of you, as that’s only going to do more harm than good.

Think of the marriages that seem to go up in flames out of nowhere when the reality is someone kept quiet for years until they hit their breaking point.

Expressing anger as it occurs is a much healthier way of using anger to help us guide our relationships in the moment.

How to Deal With Anger

If you feel angry, how should you deal with it right at that moment?

1. Slow Down

From time to time, I receive an email at work that makes me so angry that steam is probably pouring out of my ears.

In my less restrained moments, I have been known to fire off a quick response, and that typically has ended about as well as you might imagine.

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When I actually walk away from my computer and go do something else for a while, I am able to calm down and think more rationally. After that happens, I am able to respond in a more appropriate and productive manner. Doing things that helps you learn how to release anger can make an uncomfortable situation more manageable before it gets out of hand.

2. Focus on the “I”

Remember that you are the one that’s upset. Don’t accuse people of making you upset because, in the end, it’s your response to what someone did that really triggered your anger. You don’t want to place blame by saying something like “Why don’t you ever put away your dishes?” Say something more like “Having dirty dishes laying on the counter upsets me—can you work with me to come to a solution?”

When you are accusatory towards someone, all that does is increase the tension. This doesn’t usually do anything except make your anger rise higher.

3. Work out

When learning how to deal with anger, exercise is a great outlet. If something happens that angers you, see if you have the opportunity to burn off some of the anger.

Being able to hit the gym to get a hard workout in is great. If this isn’t an option, see if you can go for a run or a bike ride. If you are at work when you become angry and the weather permits, at least go outside for a brisk walk.

Besides working some of your anger out through exercise, this also helps to give your mind a chance to work through some ways to address what it is that upset you.

If you’re not sure where to start with an exercise routine, check out Lifehack’s free Simple Cardio Home Workout Plan.

4. Seek Help When Needed

There are times when we could all use some help. Life can be stressful and overwhelming. It’s perfectly fine to seek some help from a mental health professional if it will help you get back to a healthy balance.If you find that you are angry all the time, it might be a good idea to go talk to an expert about learning to control intense emotions. They can give you some sound advice and ideas on how to get your anger to a more manageable and healthy level.

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5. Practice Relaxation

We all seem to lead incredibly busy lives, and that’s a good thing if we are loving the life we are living. That being said, it is very beneficial to our physical and mental well-being to take time out for relaxation.

That can mean spending time doing things that help us calm down and relax, like being around people we enjoy, practicing deep breathing or listening to music. It could be making time for things that help bring us balance like a healthy diet and physical activity.

Many people incorporate techniques such as yoga and meditation to calm their minds and release tension when learning how to deal with anger. Whatever your choice is, ensure you take time out to relax when warning signs of anger start to bubble up.

6. Laugh

Incorporating humor and laughter on a regular basis will help keep anger in check and help you get over a bad mood and feelings of anger more quickly. This isn’t part of formal anger management techniques, but you’ll be surprised by how well it works. Remember, life is a journey that’s meant to be enjoyed fully along the way through healthy emotion. Make sure you take time to laugh and have fun.Surround yourself with people that like to laugh and enjoy life. Don’t work at a job that just causes you stress, which can lead to anger. Work at something you enjoy doing.

7. Be Grateful

It’s easy to focus on the bad in life and the things that cause us negative emotions. It’s vitally important to remind ourselves of all the wonderful things in life that bring us positive emotions, things that we easily forget because we get caught up in the whirlwind of day to day life.

Take time out each day to remind yourself of a few things you are grateful for in order to help you learn how to release anger and invite in more positive feelings.

Final Thoughts

Life can be overwhelming at times. We seem to have constant pressure to achieve more and to always be on the go or motivated. People we are around and situations we are in can cause stress, anger, and negative emotions. At times, it can seem to be too much, and we get angry and our emotions start to get out of control.

During these times, keep in mind that life is an incredible journey, full of wonder and things that bring you joy. When you find yourself angry more often than is healthy, take time out to remember the good things in life—the things that we seem to forget yet bring us so much positive energy and emotions.

Use some of the tips included here to help with how to deal with anger and better control your emotions.

More Resources on Anger Management

Featured photo credit: Andre Hunter via unsplash.com

Reference

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