Advertising
Advertising

5 Ways To Overcome Disappointments

5 Ways To Overcome Disappointments

It seems very natural. We get hit by the wrong assumption and the disappointments lurk under the blanket. It’s a phase in which we are sad and displeased caused by false expectations.

It’s just the way of life. We get hit by it and we are in a bad mood until the unpleasant feeling subsides after a while. William Shakespeare said, “Expectation is the root of all heartache.

Whoever shares knowledge about disappointments can state it as “a feeling of false expectations.” That would be the shortest explanation.

Advertising

However, as every bad mood has a remedy, disappointment does too. I would like to jump to the five ways to overcome disappointments so I can help you pass the sad feeling.

1. Identify what made you disappointed

I know I am stating the obvious, but finding the rebel that made you feel sad and displeasured is the first step to the remedy. The rebel is false expectation, but if you already find yourself caught in the trap, you should see the reason for it. Your girlfriend or boyfriend cheating on you can be a vast disappointment. It can be cured only if you consider what sphere in your faithfulness needs to be lowered. Of course there is a way and that’s the end of your relationship, but consider the feeling gone once you “see” what made you feel that way.

2. Find pleasure in the disappointment

Finding pleasure in disappointment is about strengthening your character. Pleasure is about satisfaction, and your satisfaction should be that you passed one massive “character” test that made you stronger. Nobody can share knowledge of “what if” if they haven’t survived that feeling. Be grateful that you planted an iron helm onto your brain and you upgraded your level of greatness.

Advertising

Always remember, it is all about balance. Nobody can be happy and full of joy all the time. There has to be moments of sadness and displeasure to test your capability of overcoming the bad feelings.

3. Look on the bright side

If you have seen the movie Monty Python you know what I am talking about. It’s about seeing the possibility and bright side in every disappointment, even if you are hung on a cross.

It connects with number two. By finding pleasure in the disappointment we let the shine pass through. Every disappointment helps us become self-determined. By conquering the bad feelings, we have experience in steering the wheel during bad times.

Advertising

4. Boost your mood with motivation

It always works, believe me. If you go with the flow and watch sad movies like The Notebook and P.S I Love You or watch Tyson lose from Holyfield after you lost a boxing match, it will make you feel worse. I know it feels right to watch these sorts of movies but you need to force yourself against your will.

Watch a couple of happy ending love stories such as Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind or highlights from Mike Tyson’s knockouts. Not only will it transform your bad mood into positive, but it will motivate you to feel stupid that you felt so sad before. Motivational clips and adrenaline boosting songs always work for me. We are all different so you have to experiment on this one.

5. Lower your expectations

I left this one last because it’s most important. It’s like the cherry on the top of a pie. Expectations can lead to disappointments and that’s the only thing that made you feel sad. We induct so many feelings and false expectations in one particular thing that not only will it make you sad, but it can make you sick. Since all the bad thoughts result in dysfunction of the body, that can result in the break down of the immune system and viruses see the body as a playground.

Advertising

It is vital to expect less, because doing so can rarely lead you to sadness. Always remember that bad mood can be cured only by you. The five steps to remedy disappointments once more:

  • Identify what made you disappointed and realize why.
  • Find pleasure in the disappointment by strengthening your character and remember, it’s all about balance.
  • Always look on the bright side as Monty Python did.
  • Boost your mood with motivation (you have to experiment your remedies on this one).
  • Lower your expectations if you want to stay happy for a longer period of time.

Featured photo credit: Kristina Alexanderson via flickr.com

More by this author

I Am A Real Gentleman. That’s Why I Am A Winner In Love. 7 Practical Life Lessons From Albert Einstein 15 Healthy And Delightful Recipes Of Berries You Can’t Miss 5 Pieces of Practical Advice You Should Take to Master Anything Increase Your Willpower With Just Three Simple Steps

Trending in Communication

1The Gentle Art of Saying No 217 Ted Talks for Kids to Inspire Little Minds to Do Big Things 310 Toxic Persons You Should Just Get Rid Of 4Striving Towards Secure Attachment: How to Restructure Your Thoughts 5Being Self Aware Is the Key to Success: How to Boost Self Awareness

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising

The Gentle Art of Saying No

The Gentle Art of Saying No

No!

It’s a simple fact that you can never be productive if you take on too many commitments — you simply spread yourself too thin and will not be able to get anything done, at least not well or on time.

Advertising

But requests for your time are coming in all the time — through phone, email, IM or in person. To stay productive, and minimize stress, you have to learn the Gentle Art of Saying No — an art that many people have problems with.

Advertising

What’s so hard about saying no? Well, to start with, it can hurt, anger or disappoint the person you’re saying “no” to, and that’s not usually a fun task. Second, if you hope to work with that person in the future, you’ll want to continue to have a good relationship with that person, and saying “no” in the wrong way can jeopardize that.

Advertising

But it doesn’t have to be difficult or hard on your relationship. Here are the Top 10 tips for learning the Gentle Art of Saying No:

  1. Value your time. Know your commitments, and how valuable your precious time is. Then, when someone asks you to dedicate some of your time to a new commitment, you’ll know that you simply cannot do it. And tell them that: “I just can’t right now … my plate is overloaded as it is.”
  2. Know your priorities. Even if you do have some extra time (which for many of us is rare), is this new commitment really the way you want to spend that time? For myself, I know that more commitments means less time with my wife and kids, who are more important to me than anything.
  3. Practice saying no. Practice makes perfect. Saying “no” as often as you can is a great way to get better at it and more comfortable with saying the word. And sometimes, repeating the word is the only way to get a message through to extremely persistent people. When they keep insisting, just keep saying no. Eventually, they’ll get the message.
  4. Don’t apologize. A common way to start out is “I’m sorry but …” as people think that it sounds more polite. While politeness is important, apologizing just makes it sound weaker. You need to be firm, and unapologetic about guarding your time.
  5. Stop being nice. Again, it’s important to be polite, but being nice by saying yes all the time only hurts you. When you make it easy for people to grab your time (or money), they will continue to do it. But if you erect a wall, they will look for easier targets. Show them that your time is well guarded by being firm and turning down as many requests (that are not on your top priority list) as possible.
  6. Say no to your boss. Sometimes we feel that we have to say yes to our boss — they’re our boss, right? And if we say “no” then we look like we can’t handle the work — at least, that’s the common reasoning. But in fact, it’s the opposite — explain to your boss that by taking on too many commitments, you are weakening your productivity and jeopardizing your existing commitments. If your boss insists that you take on the project, go over your project or task list and ask him/her to re-prioritize, explaining that there’s only so much you can take on at one time.
  7. Pre-empting. It’s often much easier to pre-empt requests than to say “no” to them after the request has been made. If you know that requests are likely to be made, perhaps in a meeting, just say to everyone as soon as you come into the meeting, “Look guys, just to let you know, my week is booked full with some urgent projects and I won’t be able to take on any new requests.”
  8. Get back to you. Instead of providing an answer then and there, it’s often better to tell the person you’ll give their request some thought and get back to them. This will allow you to give it some consideration, and check your commitments and priorities. Then, if you can’t take on the request, simply tell them: “After giving this some thought, and checking my commitments, I won’t be able to accommodate the request at this time.” At least you gave it some consideration.
  9. Maybe later. If this is an option that you’d like to keep open, instead of just shutting the door on the person, it’s often better to just say, “This sounds like an interesting opportunity, but I just don’t have the time at the moment. Perhaps you could check back with me in [give a time frame].” Next time, when they check back with you, you might have some free time on your hands.
  10. It’s not you, it’s me. This classic dating rejection can work in other situations. Don’t be insincere about it, though. Often the person or project is a good one, but it’s just not right for you, at least not at this time. Simply say so — you can compliment the idea, the project, the person, the organization … but say that it’s not the right fit, or it’s not what you’re looking for at this time. Only say this if it’s true — people can sense insincerity.

Featured photo credit: Pexels via pexels.com

Advertising

Read Next