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5 Ways To Help Heal A Broken Heart

5 Ways To Help Heal A Broken Heart

Life following a break up is barely ever a fantastic time, particularly regarding our self worth and confidence. We can begin to question ourselves and what we can do without someone who we loved and spent a lot of our time and effort on. But we can channel that time and effort into ourselves. Julia Humphrey of Tiny Buddha shares five ways to heal your heart by loving yourself:

“All the wonders you seek are within yourself.” ~Sir Thomas Browne

Anyone who has ever gone through some sort of heartbreak knows what awful pain it can cause, both physically and mentally. It can be devastating, shattering, and overwhelming for your spirit.

In the beginning of 2012 I had my heart broken by a person who I thought was, what we typically call, “the one.” 

Between the tears and the desperate phone calls to his cell phone, I found myself searching the Internet for remedies to get over an ex. I knew I was a strong person, but I just couldn’t see anything becoming brighter or better ever.

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I constantly needed family and friends to reassure me that I was going to be okay. It even came to a point where I started worrying about the physical agony, as I constantly felt intense aching in my heart and around the chest area. I worried that this would be something I had to learn to live with.

One day I realized that I couldn’t let heartache and depression destroy my life, and then found some helpful ways to heal and become happy again, even finding a sort of joy and self-worth I hadn’t experienced before the break-up.  

I also had the amazing opportunity to share these tips with Tiny Buddha readers in my first post “10 Tips to Help Relieve Depression and Heartache.”

During my healing period I often found myself questioning the idea of “Mr. Right” or “the one”—that special someone to sweep us off our feet and make us feel complete.

People in my life would tell me that once I found someone new I would get over my ex. This sounded comforting, but when you feel like your life is crushed, a new love interest isn’t really a top priority, even though a rebound-partner can feel like the right solution at times.

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Also, I wondered what I could possibly offer someone with my wounded spirit. I knew I had to find another type of “Mr. Right,” and to my surprise, I did. More precisely, I found “Miss Right”—and that is me

For little more than a year I have been dating me. I’ve been in a loving relationship with myself that has had its ups and downs, just like any other relationship.

I strongly believe something good always comes out of something bad. So, if you are at sitting at home with a broken heart searching the web for any kind of hope of recovering, these tips may help.

1. Be your own sweetheart.

Just like in a romantic relationship, where you do kind things for your significant other, you should do kind things for yourself.

Write yourself loving notes and practice daily affirmations where you tell yourself the things you formerly wanted your partner to tell you. I buy myself flowers and I lovingly wrap my arms around myself while I sit in stillness to embrace self-love. Try it!

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2. Laugh out loud and turn that frown upside down (when possible).

There is no better medicine for your spirit than a good laugh. Yes, the heartbreak will remind you of your suffering, but I’ve noticed that the human body and mind are so wonderful that they allow you to smile, even during dark times. Smile and laugh whenever you can, even if it’s just for short-lived moments.

3. Practice self-compassion.

When you feel sad or lonely, tell yourself caring things that you would tell a friend in need—for example, that it’s perfectly okay to feel distress and anxiety, but that this too shall pass.

You are still a good, strong, and lovely person. Truth is, even if you are single, you are never alone. You are always surrounded by the loving energy from friends and the universe/higher power.

4. Consider yourself single and ready to mingle—with yourself!

Know that you don’t need a romantic partner to be complete. Be your own soul mate and strive to feel whole from within and you will find that sense of completeness. When you are ready to love again, you will meet that special person to share a beautiful love story with.

5. Know that it’s okay to be angry as long as you are gentle with yourself and willing to forgive.

You’ve probably read a lot about the importance of forgiveness. I agree that forgiveness is essential to move on, but we also need to know that it’s okay not to be able to forgive in an instant moment, weeks, or even months.

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Don’t stress out when people around you encourage you to forgive. All you need to do is have patience with yourself for not being capable of forgiving just yet. Let the emotions of anger, hurt, and disappointment be released first.

It took me a long time to learn how to forgive myself and my ex, but I finally did and it has set me free. I now understand his reasons for breaking up, even though I may not agree with them.

The “key” is to be gentle and keep your anger to a healthy level. Don’t punish or attack yourself for what has already been. Instead, you can grow and learn from the experience.

Do I still look for the romantic version of ”the one”? I am not searching; I feel confident that he will show when the time is right and when I’m ready to share my new wonderful me with someone, but for the time being, I enjoy being with myself.

Do you?

Julia Humphrey is a Sweden-based lifestyle and travel writer for the UK online IDEAL magazine. She is also a recurrent guest blogger on her sister’s photograph and lifestyle blog. When she is not writing, she enjoys meditating, yoga, learning foreign languages, traveling, and connecting with new people. Connect with her @JuliaLHumphrey on twitter and at renehumphrey.blogspot.com.

You Are the One: 5 Helpful Tips for the Brokenhearted | Tiny Buddha

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Siobhan Harmer

Siobhan is a passionate writer sharing about motivation and happiness tips on Lifehack.

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Last Updated on June 13, 2019

How to Quit Your Boring Life and Start Living an Interesting One

How to Quit Your Boring Life and Start Living an Interesting One

Think you have a boring life?

The definition of boring is dull or not interesting. Maybe you’ve been doing the same thing and living the same life for too long, or maybe your daily routine is limiting your growth and happiness. Whatever your reason is, the following list of 20 things can definitely make any day more interesting. Some of them are silly, while some are more meaningful, so hopefully just reading the list makes your life less boring and sparks your creativity.

Let’s dive in the list to quit your boring life and start living an interesting (and meaning) one!

1. Channel Your 7-Year-Old Self

What would he or she want to do right now? Color? Paint? Run around outside? Play dress up? Eat with your hands? Play that instrument hiding in the back of your closet that you haven’t touched in years?

Just because you’re a grown up doesn’t mean any of this stuff will be less enjoyable than you remember it. Give yourself permission to play.

2. Go Play with Kids

Speaking of little kids, if you have your own or access to any (in a non-creepy way, like they’re your niece or your best friend’s kid, you get the idea) go play with them!

They didn’t create an entire show called Kids Say The Darndest Things because kids aren’t hilarious. They also keep things so simple, and we can really stand to be reminded of this and stop allowing ourselves to get bogged down in boring details.

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3. Order a Hot Dog

While you’re eating it, Google: “What’s in a hot dog?” You decide whether or not you want to finish it.

4. For the Ladies: Wear Your Sexiest Lingerie Under Your Work Clothes

Your “little secret” will leave you feeling anything but boring all day!

5. Play Cell Phone Roulette

You’ll need at least one buddy for this. Scroll through the contacts in your phone, stop on a random one and call the person.

You could spark an incredible catch up session or be incredibly awkward. Neither are boring.

6. Fill out a Pack of Thank-You Cards

Give them to random people who probably don’t get thanked too often for doing what they do ever day.

Ideas: police officers, librarians, servers, baristas, cab drivers, sanitation workers, teachers, people behind any check out counter, receptionists, your friends, the guy at the falafel stand, etc.

7. Sign up for a Class in Something You’ve “Always Wanted to Do”, or Something That Makes You Really Uncomfortable

Ideas: pole dancing, salsa lessons, improv, pottery, cooking, knitting (yup, there are classes for this, too!), karate, boxing, something techy like the workshops they run in Apple stores, get Rosetta Stone and learn that language you’ve always wanted to speak, etc.

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What’s good about joining an interest class is that you will also meet new people!

8. Interview Your Grandparents About Their Lives

You can bet they’ve had some crazy experiences you probably never knew about.

9. Get up on Stage at an Open Mic Night

Whether you’re funny or not, get up on stage and just talk funny. And if you’re not, memorize a few of your favorite jokes and tell those!

10. Do Something for Someone Else That You Wish Someone Would Do for You

We all have a few ideas on this list. I promise you will feel amazing after and anything but bored.

11. Start a DIY Project in Your Home

It doesn’t have to be super complicated. If you need ideas, there’re plenty on Pinterest. Or you can also check out these 30 Awesome DIY Projects that You’ve Never Heard of.

12. Plan a Weekend Trip or an All-Out Vacation

This will give you something to look forward to.

Even if you don’t have the time or money to go on a vacation, plan for a staycation, which is same fun and relaxing!

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13. People Watch

Find a bench in a crowded area (centers of transportation like airports, bus stops and train stations are great for this!) and just observe.

People are infinitely interesting.

14. Eat Something You’ve Never Eaten Before

Bonus points if it’s a random fruit or veggie.

15. Dance

You can get your friends together for a night on the town or just pull up a video on YouTube and bust a move from your own living room.

If you’re feeling extra brave, you can even dance in public and get other people involved.

16. Go to YOUTUBE and Search “Funny Pets” or “Funny Babies”

This is also a great quickie ab workout as you will be laughing hysterically.

17. Pick up a Book and Start Reading

Check out the NY Times Best Sellers lists and grab a new book you can get lost in.

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18. Step Away from the Computer and Go Get Some Time with People You Care About in Real Life

Facebook stalking doesn’t count as real social interaction. You can even share this post with your friends and vote on which one you’d like to do together!

19. Check out a Museum You’ve Never Been to Before

OK, depending on your interests, this one might actually be boring. If you love learning, art or different cultures though, this one is for you!

20. Write a List of Things You Desire and Truly Want

This is a great way to help you figure out the real reason why you’re feeling bored about your life. Maybe you haven’t really done things that you truly enjoy? Maybe what you’ve wanted to do all the time has been left behind?

Think about the list of things you really want to do, and ask yourself why you aren’t doing these things (yet). Then start taking your first step to make what you want happen.

Now go make your life interesting and live your dream life!

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Featured photo credit: Kev Costello via unsplash.com

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