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5 Types Of “Toxic” Persons You Should Actually Admire

5 Types Of “Toxic” Persons You Should Actually Admire

Throughout history, man has always felt the need to label people and define things. In a sense, it is how we learn to understand the world around us. From childhood to adulthood, we are taught how to separate people into two groups: good or bad. Labels are based on the filters and perceptions we have, which are often wrong. There are two sides to every behavior, so don’t be too quick to judge.

It is in itself toxic to define someone else as toxic. Every situation presents a learning opportunity and how you interpret a person’s actions towards you, will depend on your own sensitivities. You will either see the glass half full or think it half empty. If you are ready to keep an open mind, this list of five types of toxic persons you should actually admire will prove just that.

1. People who don’t believe in your dreams.

“People say motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing; that’s why we recommend it daily” – Zig Ziglar.

Those who don’t believe in your dreams are the haters and doubters. They are the ones who belittle your dreams and make you feel like a failure before you have even started. Common sense might say to completely avoid these people, but here is why you shouldn’t

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Those who have dreams and goals to achieve, know how long the road and the process can be. It is for this very reason that you need those who don’t believe in your dreams. If you are willing to see the glass half full, then you may start to see these people as your very own personal reverse-psychology cheer leading team.

You don’t have to pay them any money, and they provide the daily motivation to remind you to keep going and never give up. If everyone believed in your ability to achieve your goals, you may not have the urgency to act. You need people who remind you of realistic challenges and problems which you may face. And who make you want to succeed even more. Those who didn’t believe in your dreams truly deserve your admiration. Without them, you may not be where you are today.

2. People who bring stress into your life.

“A diamond is just a piece of charcoal that handled stress exceptionally well” – Unknown.

We all have these people in our lives. It can be a parent, a coworker, siblings or friends. They are people who will drive us crazy with their drama, negativity or irresponsibility. They can also be very demanding people to deal with. While you may cringe at the thought of spending time with them, here is why you should learn to deal with the stress.

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A lot of people spend a lot of time and money trying to avoid stress, stressful people or stressful situations. However, not all stress is bad for you. In some situations a person stressing you out is a good thing. They may in fact actually be motivating and pushing you to be better or to do better. Remember that our culture is filled with success stories of people who had a tough start in life and achieved stardom nevertheless. Learn to tap into the energy of stress and value those who bring some type of stress into your life.

3. People who use you.

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.” – Bob Marley

No one likes to be taken advantage of. Once you discover someone is using you, it can make you feel disposable. This feeling can be very toxic and may affect how you relate with and treat other people. While it is smart to avoid these types of toxic persons, here is how you can start to make the situation work in your favor.

To be fair, everyone uses everyone whether we mean to or not. So it is not so out of the norm for some people to befriend you just because of what you have to offer. In fact, you do it, too. The difference is you probably call those friends you use dependable. Those who use you are actually good for you in the sense that they provide an opportunity to batter. They have already put themselves out there. With a little communication, you can begin to make the relationship work in your favor.

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4. People who don’t care about you.

“We all matter – maybe less then a lot but always more than none.” ― John Green

We all have an innate desire to be liked even by complete strangers. Often we use how people respond to us as a measure of our own self-worth. So naturally we tend to not want people who don’t care about us around. While this is a good thing, it also means that you will have no diversity in your life. Here is one way to make this situation a positive one.

In the age of likes, follows and numerous friend adds on social media, don’t forget the importance of knowing your quality friends from your quantity of friends.
Apart from your inner circle, everyone else is an acquaintance who may not care about you. This is not a bad thing, in fact the world does move on without you. Friends who don’t care about you, do well by reminding you of the importance of family and true friendships

5. People who point out your flaws or criticize you

“There is only one way to avoid criticism. Do nothing, say nothing and be nothing.” -Aristotle.

This kind of “toxic” people can be very hurtful. They seem to nit pick away at who you are and each comment can feel like a sledge hammer. While it is smart to guard you heart against such people, here is why you should develop an elephant’s skin, so that you can hear what they have to say without being hurt by it.

A lot of times the people who criticize you, truly have your best interest at heart. They see your potential and your flaws and are bold enough to call you out on both. If you would take your emotions and sentiments out of it, you just might learn something about yourself that could be crucial to your future achievements.

Depending on how you see the glass, a critic is someone to offer feedback when it may very well be needed. If your desire is to get better at your craft and be the best you can possibly be, then you must understand the importance of people who point out your flaws or criticize you.

There is beauty to be found in any situation, and people who have been labelled “toxic” can actually have benefits and add value to our lives. Like I said earlier, it is all in how you decide to look atit. With the right attitude, they can be admired, even appreciated. After all, it is in the face of adversity that we often become who we were meant to be.

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Featured photo credit: Shadow people via flickr.com

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Last Updated on November 4, 2020

15 Simple Ways To Make Self Improvement That Will Change Your Life

15 Simple Ways To Make Self Improvement That Will Change Your Life

Self-improvement doesn’t have to be big mind-blowing changes; it can actually be simple steps to improve upon what you already have to get you where you want to be.  However, what you will need is consistency, determination and wiliness to try some things that will stretch and challenge you.

Rather than setting your sights way off into the future, which leaves you feeling like you’ll never make it, you can start following these simple and effective self-improvement steps today.  So if you want to make an immediate impact on your life and are willing to take action, then keep reading— you’ll going to love these!

1. Be willing to work hard.

As with anything in life, if you want something, you’ve got to work hard to get it.  This doesn’t mean you burn the candle at both ends, leaving you exhausted and leaving your personal life in ruins.  It merely means that when you want something badly enough, you’ll put in the time to get there.  Action is what’s important here and the more ‘inspired’ the action is, the better the results in the end.

2. Make sure you have friends who you can talk to.

Sharing the load is important as with any self-improvement. If you can communicate with others and get feedback on how you are doing then that’s great.  We all need ‘cheerleaders’ in our corner to keep us going when times get hard, but you also need to have people who will tell you how it is even when you don’t want to hear it.  So make sure you have a good support network around you, especially those people whose opinions you respect.

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3. Adapt to your circumstances rather than over-thinking them.

Sometimes, we can hit a hard period. Perhaps you’ve lost your job or your partner has left you.  Instead of over analyzing the situation, learn to adapt to your circumstances and accept them as they are.  It’s not about making your circumstances into some kind of a drama; remember, what you focus on expands which means you’ll get more of it.  You then don’t become your problems and you’ll feel a lot less burdened by them.

4. Ensure that you use your time wisely.

Time is of the essence, some might say; whilst others will say that time is an illusion.  One thing we do know is that you have one life on this planet, so how you use that time is of the utmost importance.  So how can you use your time wisely? Only you know how to do that, but look at how you currently spend your days: do you sit working all day, get home, eat and then sit slumped in front of the TV for the rest of the evening?  Your time on this earth is precious, so isn’t it time to make use of the time you have left? Try something new, go for a walk, learn a new language or meditate but make sure it’s something you absolutely love.

5. Always be consistent.

A wonderful way to self-improvement is to make changes to how you do things.  For example, with your friends, are you always the unreliable one who bows out of an arrangement just before it happens? Or are you someone who starts a new exercise routine and then stops doing it 3 weeks into it?  Whatever it is and whatever you do, always be consistent. When you make a commitment, stick to it. It will improve your life immeasurably you’ll feel more confident and happier with yourself, especially because you’ll know that whatever you tackle, you’ll be able to consistently do it!

6. Go and find your happy place.

No, I’m not saying “place” as in popping to your local bar or restaurant and gorging yourself on your favorite drinks or food. What I’m saying is to find out what you love to do, what makes you happy and go there.  Your happy place is a place where you find peace, where you lose yourself and feel contented.  Meditation is a great way to find your happy place; it brings you back to you and ensures that you are always living in the present moment.

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7. Make sure you embrace all your emotions.

In life you are going to find that it throws you some difficult challenges, sometimes it will bring out your fears and lead you into uncertainty, and other times it will be joyful.  It’s important to embrace all emotions that come up in your life, embrace them wholeheartedly and understand why they are there and then let them go.  Try not to dismiss or resist them because remember “what you resist, persists,” so embrace them each and every time.

8. Always be prepared to step out of your comfort zone.

The idea of stepping out of your comfort zone for some people can leave you paralyzed with fear; however for any changing in your life, your comfort zone will always have to be stepped out of.  It doesn’t have to be something big, like doing a sky-dive or something just as crazy. However, it’s worthwhile to change something that you’d once have feared, like going to the cinema on your own or eating at a sushi restaurant when the thought of trying raw fish which would normally mean you running for the hills.

So try something new—it doesn’t have to be wacky, but it has to challenge you!

9. Be on hand to help others.

Whether it’s helping a stranger on the street or a family member or a friend helping someone else either in their time of need, lending a helping hand is a wonderful and simple self-improvement to make.  Giving to others is not only beneficial to those you are helping but also to yourself; it can give you a sense of purpose, of contribution and also takes your mind of your own troubles and worries.

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10. Live in the present moment.

A wonderful self-improvement tool is to live in the present moment, to live in the now.  It is within this moment that you’ll appreciate all that you have and see the beauty in the simplest of things.  Being mindful of your current circumstances and bringing your mind back to where it belongs will bring about a happier way of life instead of constant worry or stressing about the past or future—both of which do not exist. Only the present moment exists. When you get used to living that way, you’ll never want to go back!

11. Learn something new.

There is nothing so liberating as learning something new; it can lift both your confidence and self-esteem and give you a great reason to meet new people.  If you continually top up your brain activity by learning something new all the time, you’ll feel on top of your game and want to share the knowledge you have learned. There is nothing quite so empowering as learning a new tool in life that can either improve your circle of friends or raise confidence levels—or both!

Reading is also a great way to help you learn something new:

12. Exercise daily.

This seems an obvious one, but exercise is so important not only to your health but also to your spirit.  We all know that after exercise, the world can feel a brighter and more positive place, so why don’t we do it more often?  Exercise isn’t about getting the perfect body or losing weight; it’s more about feeling good inside and out!  With a healthy body comes a healthy mind—so start something today. Even if it’s just a daily walk, it’s better than staying on that couch, again.

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13. Go to new places, travel a bit.

I’m not saying go fly off to some far away distant forgotten land—although you can if you so wish. It’s more about going to new places and experiencing life outside of your own back yard.  Too many of us stay in one place too often. We only see the same people, the same streets and do the same things each and every day.  If you want to improve your life, get out there and see the world and what it can offer.  You can start by going to a town or city you’ve never been to in your own country and checking out the architecture, the landscapes and the people.  Anything new is good, so get out there!

14. Listen to uplifting music and dance.

If there’s one thing that can really improve your life and get you excited about it, it’s listening to great uplifting music and dancing.  When was the last time you really let go?  Let it all hang loose and got into a piece of music and let yourself go?  Dancing, like exercise, makes you feel great. It releases all kinds of emotions and can make you feel unbelievably good.  Self-improvement isn’t all about the serious stuff; it can be something as simple as finding new music, music that inspires you and makes you dance and have fun!

15. Get up earlier than normal.

This is the last one, and it’s last because it’s one of those self-improvement tips that we all know is a good thing, yet we seem to avoid it at all costs!  If you think about it, the earliest part of the day is when your brain is most active because it’s been turned off for the last 7 hours or so.  So don’t you think it’s best to get all those things above done in the morning?  Things like exercise, meditation and dancing, which can all be done in the first part of the day.  Take it from me: this early morning stuff can really get your day started with a bang!

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Featured photo credit: Laura Chouette via unsplash.com

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