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5 Types of People You Love to Hate But Probably Shouldn’t

5 Types of People You Love to Hate But Probably Shouldn’t

We often throw the word “hate” around and use it too lightly. We say we hate people we don’t understand, or people who frustrate us with their behavior. However, we don’t really hate these people. The term “hate” should be reserved only for the most unacceptable human behaviors, like violence or prejudice.

There are five types of people that I thought I hated for a long time. Then I realized that they were simply people dealing with their own weaknesses and fears. Maybe they were dealing with those fears much differently than I thought they should. But I realized it’s a far better idea to try to understand and sympathize with them, rather than say I hate for them.

Here are those five types of people, and what I learned about them.

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1. The bragger

This person has to be number one on almost everyone’s list of “hated” people. No one likes a bragger, and I’ve especially detested the act of bragging for as long as I can remember. I knew a guy who seemed to have it all figured out, or at least he thought he did. On one occasion at a social event, his extroverted attempts at charming everyone really started to annoy me. I bluntly made a few remarks, thinking I’d put him in his place.

The result was actually surprising. He became quiet for several minutes, even appearing somewhat anxious. At that point, I realized something that I should have known much sooner. This guy wasn’t full of himself. He was just the opposite, and his attempts at charming everyone in the room were really just pleas for acceptance. I immediately felt guilty for being rude to him because he was dealing with insecurity the only way he knew how. His behavior still seems like show act at times, but I don’t hassle him now. It’s just a part of his journey to becoming more sure of himself, and that’s ok. 

2. The selfie queen

This is another character you often hear people complain about. One particular friend of mine fits the bill perfectly. I’ll admit, we only know each other through mutual friends, and probably wouldn’t otherwise, as we’re not much alike. However, there is something in her that is relentlessly benevolent. She’s kind and accepting of just about everyone. Much of her selfie-snapping, I believe, can be attributed to her need to feel liked and accepted. Once we see the reason behind annoying behaviors like this, all of our “hate” for them suddenly seems cruel.

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While there will always be a part of me (a fairly large part of me) that finds her a bit annoying, and sometimes shallow, I find myself wanting to support her. I’ll even “like” a few of the not-so-interesting photos she regularly posts of herself, her house, her food, etc., just to make her feel good. Of course, she doesn’t need it. She has plenty of friends and family members who adore her. But I think it’s important for me to remind myself to be accepting of things that bother me, and accept someone who is clearly asking for a little validation now and then.

3. The perfectionist

You know those people who say, “Lets go with the flow and see what happens?” Perfectionists are the opposite of those people. They believe there’s only one “right” way, and they don’t tolerate variations or gray areas. Since I’m relatively easygoing and open to change, perfectionists have hassled me quite a few times. Someone in my close circle is like this, and accomplishing things with them often feels like wading through honey. We repeatedly have to stop in the middle of a task and regroup to do things as by-the-book as possible. 

While I constantly fought this perfectionist to loosen up, my efforts were always futile. But maybe I was pushing too hard. After all, is it really such a bad thing to want to do everything to the best of your ability? When you think about it, that’s all a perfectionist really is. The trait is actually somewhat admirable.

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4. The pushover

While it may seem harsh to hate on a pushover, it’s also difficult to watch them be continuously stepped on without getting frustrated. One of my closest friends seems to have a little problem with letting things slide. People take drastic measures to inconvenience him, and he doesn’t give it so much as a thought. Many times, he’s even stood up for people while I angrily express how out of line they are.

The thing to recognize is, people who are perceived as pushovers often have a valuable trait that most of us lack—patience. These people can have their tolerance tested time and time again, but never run out of reasons to be understanding. Instead of regarding these people as weak, we should consider what we can learn from them.

5. The crazy girl

Calm down feminists, I know there are crazy guys too. However, one particular girl I met years ago really struck me. She was notoriously known as the “crazy” one who was to be avoided—and certainly not to be invited to parties. She was rude, inconsiderate, volatile at times, and an emotional wreck at other times. On more than one occasion, I found myself trying to set her straight for the rude things she’d say to me. She would casually apologize, then seem to forget all about the incident seconds later.

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Looking back, it’s obvious now that trying to reprimand her was a ridiculous and misguided approach. All of her behaviors were symptoms of major troubles she was having at home. She projected the chaos onto everyone she came across, and they promptly rejected her in response. Thus the more I thought about it, the more I felt sorry for her. It doesn’t seem fair to hate others with so many problems, when we have so few to complain about.

Featured photo credit: Pixabay via pixabay.com

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Last Updated on July 10, 2020

How to Reinvent Yourself and Change Your Life

How to Reinvent Yourself and Change Your Life

There will always be times in your life when you may need to learn how to reinvent yourself. This could come when you experience a big change, such as leaving your job, moving on from a relationship, transferring to a new home, or losing a loved one. If you are going through a major shift in your life, you may have to find new ways of thinking or doing things, or risk failing to reach your full potential.

“When something bad happens, you have three choices. You can let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.”

Many people who dared to leave their old unhappy lives enabled themselves to pursue their passions and find a renewed zest for living. You can also achieve the same if you take a leap of faith and make things happen for yourself.

To help you always be at your best wherever you may be in your life, here are some practical tips on how to reinvent yourself.

The Reinvention Checklist

Before embarking on a journey of self-reinvention, you need to make sure that you have everything that you need to make the trip bump-proof. These things include:

Resilience

Problems and obstacles are guaranteed to happen. Some of them will be difficult and may knock you off course; the important thing, however, is that you learn from these difficulties, never lose focus, and always get back up. This requires building resilience to get through the tough times.

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Support

Humans are social beings. Although it is important that you learn to rely on yourself when facing any challenge, it is also important to have a support team that you can lean on to give you a boost when things get too tough and to correct you when you’re making mistakes.

The key is to find the right balance between independence and dependence. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and share the difficulties you’re facing. When you open up, you’ll find the people who are really going to be there for you.

Self-Care

During the process of learning how to reinvent yourself, you will have to pull yourself away from your old comfort zones, habits, roles, and self-perceptions. This can be difficult and cause you to question your self-worth, so it’s important to engage in self-care to maintain a positive outlook and keep your mind and body healthy as you face the challenges that await you. Self-care can include:

  • Participating in a hobby you enjoy
  • Spending time with your support system
  • Taking some time to walk in nature
  • Practicing loving-kindness meditation

Find what works for you and what helps you feel like your true self as you seek a reinvented version of you.

How to Reinvent Yourself

Once you’re sure that you’re equipped with all the tools in the self-reinvention checklist, you can begin your journey of learning how to reinvent yourself.

1. Discover Your Strengths

This step provides valuable information on how you deal with certain situations. If you have this information, you will be able to manage difficulties more efficiently.

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To find out what your strengths are, you can ask your friends and colleagues for feedback, engage in self-reflection, or try these 10 Ways to Find Your Own Personal Strengths.

2. Plan

This step calls for a thorough assessment of your current emotional, psychological, and financial status so that you can develop plans that are realistic and practical.

It’s okay to have ambitious dreams, but your plans have to be realistic. Making use of SMART goals can help you plan your life better.

You can also consult your mentor or life coach for practical tips and advice.

Ultimately, you’ll want to create specific long-term and short-term goals that you can create milestones for. By doing this, you’ll lay out a specific roadmap to your reinvented self.

3. Try Things Out

Sometimes, we don’t know if solutions actually work until we try them out. This is why it is important to experiment whenever possible, especially if you’re dealing with a career change. You may need to simply experiment in order to find the things you like. This can be the same with hobbies. If you’re not sure what you would like doing, accept invitations from friends to join them in their favorite sport or take a class, like pottery or photography.

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By seeing what’s out there in any area of your life, you’ll have a better chance of finding the things you enjoy and the goals you want to create.

4. Manage Your Finances Well

Changes may require a bit of money. If you’re shifting to a new career, you may have to pay for training. If you’re going through a tough divorce or having a hard time dealing with the death of a loved one, you may have to pay for therapy. If you’re moving to a new home, you’ll definitely have to pay a whole lot of expenses.

All of these things are possible, but it will require a bit of money savviness as you learn how to reinvent yourself. If you have that cushion, you’ll feel more comfortable straying from your current path to try new things.

5. Muster Your Courage

Fears and self-doubt may arise when you encounter difficulties and setbacks. Sometimes, they may also come when you’re taking risks. You have to manage these negative emotions well and not allow them to discourage you. Tap into your courage and try doing at least one new thing each week to develop it.

Learn how to deal with your self-doubts to move forward in this article: How Self Doubt Keeps You Stuck (And How to Overcome It)

6. Use Your Support Group

As stated above, you need to build a strong support group before you even start the process of reinventing yourself. Your group will keep you from taking wrong turns and encourage you when you get too weighed down by problems. Don’t be afraid to call them, or even ask them out for coffee if you need to vent about the current difficulties you’re facing.

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7. Remind Yourself Every Day of Your Commitment

Write your goals on different-sized cards and scatter them at home and at work in places where you can easily see them. This way, you will constantly be reminded of where you want to be. Remember, writing down your goals helps them stick[1].

8. Accept Failure, Learn, and Resume Your Journey

Failing is normal, especially when we’re trying out something new. When you fail, simply recognize it, learn from it, and move on. Failure, in the end, is the best way to learn what does and doesn’t work, and you simply won’t be able to learn how to reinvent yourself if you don’t accept the inevitable failures that await you.

Final Thoughts

If you truly want to learn how to reinvent yourself and live the life you desire, take the advice above and start taking action. It will take time, patience, and plenty of effort to make the change you want happen, but it will be all worth it.

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Featured photo credit: Ashley Rich via unsplash.com

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