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5 Reasons Why It’s Okay to Say No

5 Reasons Why It’s Okay to Say No

In today’s fast-paced and caffeine-driven world, it seems like the need to say no is absent in most people. You can’t say no because people will look at you with judging eyes. You can’t say no because you will most likely upset your colleagues. And you can’t say no because you feel guilty and scared that no one will like you anymore.

I understand your situation completely. Confession time? I used to say yes all the time too because the thought of saying no cripples me.

Now, though, I regret the times when I failed to say no just because of peer pressure. Let’s learn to face the music here: saying yes to everyone is stressful. It’s selfish. And it’s definitely not good for your mental, physical and spiritual health!

My friend, it’s time you start saying no. No to people you don’t like, no to parties you don’t even fancy and certainly no to activities that don’t make you a better person.

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Go ahead and say no, because:

1. You don’t owe anybody anything.

Contrary to popular opinion, you are not really obligated to do something to someone.

Sure, your boss pays you to be productive at work and to produce effective and efficient returns, but you’re not obligated to be at his call every single second of every work day.

Yes, you’re married to your life partner and you love him very much, but you’re not obligated to be the subject of his whim every time.

And of course, your parents raised you and still love you, but you are not supposed to bend your convictions just to suit their own stereotypical beliefs.

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Life isn’t a day in the office where you have all these obligations to distract you and make you feel busy. It’s an enriching and satisfying adventure that you have to tackle in order to be productive and fulfilled.

2. You can never control everybody’s opinion of you.

Whatever you do, whatever you say, people will judge you either fairly or harshly. Don’t sweat this small thing. Don’t let it ruin your day.

If you’re basing your decision whether to say yes or to say no on the fact that you care about what other people will say, stop. It’s not worth all the trouble.

3. You’re the only one who can really identify your priorities in life.

Your happiness will be made up of the choices that you make in life. If you’re not sure about something, say no to it. If you’re hesitant because you know deep inside your heart that you’re not too thrilled about the idea, say no.

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If it’s not really what you want, say no. No one can tell you which specific activities you should be doing to feel happy and fulfilled in life. You are the only one who can do this for yourself.

4. You’re your number one citizen.

A lot of people ignore this fact but it still is true: you are the person who is going to be mostly affected by the decisions you make in your life.

If you decide to do something and fail to follow through, you’re the one who’s going to be most stressed. If you say yes to a drunken party at 11 in the evening, you’re the one who’s going to have a massive hangover and a horde of angry clients the next day. If you say yes to a lifetime commitment that you’re not really happy about, you’re the one who’s going to suffer terribly in the long run.

5. Life moves on.

Life flows, it moves and it progresses whether you say no or not. You can spend the rest of your life hurrying, fast-tracking and running around because you say yes all the time…

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Or you can spend your life relaxing, moving at a gentle pace and savoring every minute because you say no to the things that don’t really matter.

It’s your call. Live the life you want! Make your own destiny. It can all start if you realize that it’s okay to say no.

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

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1. Listen

Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

“Why do you want to do that?”

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“What makes you so excited about it?”

“How long has that been your dream?”

You need this information the help you with the following steps.

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3. Encourage

This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

5. Dream

This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

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6. Ask How You Can Help

Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

7. Follow Up

Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

Final Thoughts

By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

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Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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