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5 Reasons to Never Give Up

5 Reasons to Never Give Up

After blowing the whistle on the banks for mortgage and foreclosure fraud, I got hit hard by their retaliation machines. I found myself alone, broke, unemployable, and quickly losing everything I worked my entire life to gain. Despite already going through hard times, I realized it was only going to get more difficult as I continued. At one point during the summer of 2011, I nearly overdosed on spice (faux marijuana, which was somehow legal in AZ at the time). As I lay in a bathtub awaiting what I thought to be certain death, I flashed back on all the moments in my life that led me to that point… and somehow I found the strength to get back up and continue breathing…

The experience changed my life. I woke up with a renewed drive to fight the banks. People started backing and supporting my cause, and I leveraged the experience into a successful writing career. While my story isn’t the norm, it’s certainly not uncommon. If dancing on rock bottom accomplishes nothing else, I hope it serves to illustrate that no matter how bad things get, you should never give up. There’s always a reason to keep pushing just a little bit further toward your goal, or even just to stay alive to fight another day. I’m not special; I just kept going when others quit.

Here are some reasons to never give up:

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You’re Almost There

Have you ever heard the phrase “past the point of no return”? It means that you’ve come so far, it’s easier to continue than to turn back. The phrase is used much more sparingly than it should be. Every moment of your life is past the point of no return. You’re not going to eventually end up back in the womb. All you can do is move forward in life, and the reason why is because wherever you’re at or whatever you do, you can’t turn back time.

I spent nearly two years on the brink of success; it felt like chasing a carrot on a stick. Every short-term goal I accomplished seemed to place two more steps between my current position and my long-term goals. It was as though there was a giant hand reaching out of the sky, picking me up, and placing me backwards every time I tried to move forward with my life. In the face of these overwhelming odds, I kept repeating to myself, “Don’t stop. You’re almost there.”

Before I even understood it happened, I was suddenly an overnight success. The thing is–I didn’t know how to sit back and enjoy it. I continued working as though I was almost there. The idea was embedded in my psyche, and my work ethic was forever altered. Instead of resting on my laurels, I continue working as though I’m almost there to this day. As long as I keep that thought in my head, I continue working. The instant I decide I’ve either already made it or I never will, I’ll stop working, and my journey as a writer will end. Success is like adulthood–you think you’ll wake up one day feeling a complete transformation, but instead you look back and realize the evolution happened right under your nose.

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    What a Waste of Time

    I can’t stress enough how important our time is. Regardless of how life, the world, and existence start or end, we’re all living in the middle of it. Don’t waste your time–it’s the only resource you can spend but never replenish. When you give up, you’re devaluing your time.

    Instead of wasting your time, take a step back for a moment and really analyze what’s going on in your life that’s motivating you to throw in the towel. There are times you may need to walk away from a project, but it doesn’t mean you need to give up completely. Think of your life as a boat. If you notice the boat sinking, you sometimes have to dump unnecessary weight in order to stay afloat. Applying this concept to your financial situation, it’s sometimes necessary to let a bill or two go in order to catch the rest up. Manage any aspect of your life the same way.

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    Even if you do have to lose a battle (short-term goal), focus on how the lessons learned affect the overall war (your long-term goals). Whatever you do, don’t allow your time to be wasted. If you don’t value your time enough to spend it for your benefit, why would anyone else?

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      Failure is Important

      If you think you’re going to reach success without tasting failure, I can assure you that you’ll never reach success. Every winner loses, but not every loser wins. It’s important to fail because it teaches you valuable life lessons–you don’t always get what you want, being right doesn’t mean you’ll win, heart is more important than skill, never take anything for granted, etc.

      Instead of perceiving failure as a negative, look at it as a chance to reset and start again refreshed. Yes, the delays are annoying, and I’m aware there are a lot of obstacles in your way. You have a house, care, family, utilities, expenses, and so many other things to think about. You were counting on that paycheck, the time off, another person’s help, or whatever else is impeding your success. It may feel like the end of the world, but it’s never over as long as you’re still breathing.

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      Don’t be too attached to comfort. You may think you can’t live without cable television, food, electricity, a car, a home, or other people, but it’s entirely possible. Instead of using the thought “other people have much worse problems than me” to deter you from feeling sorry for yourself, use it as a motivational tool to take more risks. Other people have much worse problems than you, so if you lose what you’re risking, you won’t be alone. You may even succeed, but as long as you’re prepared for failure, or at the very least willing to fight on, you’re going to be ok.

      Someone Else Will

      I love hip-hop. Studying the hip-hop industry (particularly through conversations with Wendy Day), What I learned from the hip-hop community is a trend I’ve seen in far too many social circles–Jay-Z, Eminem, Lil Wayne, etc went through some negative life experiences, and they now pour their hearts out over music. You listen to this music, relate to their pain, and start bragging to other people about the traits that make you similar to the MCs we all know and love. The difference between you and Eminem is that he turned his pain into one of the most successful careers in the history of the music business–you just repeat your pain to everyone in hopes it’ll entitle you to something.

      Everyone goes through tough times, and while giving up may ease your stress, it doesn’t make your goal disappear–someone else will just come through and accomplish whatever it was you were hoping to accomplish. That job will go to someone else, the invention will come from someone else, that woman will spend every night banging someone else… and it’s all your fault for giving up. If you can’t live with the idea of someone else enjoying the fruits you labored for, it’s a good idea to get up and keep pushing.

      You’re Only Hurting Yourself

      At the end of the day, we all want to see you succeed, but if you don’t, you’re the only one who’s ultimately affected. Just because you gave up doesn’t mean everyone else is. Your friends and family may still love and care about you, but they’ll eventually spend less and less time with you–nobody wants to hang around with someone who makes them feel stuck.

      If you want to give up, give up. I can’t stop you, but if you want to succeed and turn your dreams into a reality, it’s going to take work. You’ll have to walk through both heaven and hell. There will be pain, and there will be a lot of times where you feel like giving up is your only option. Keep pushing, and never give up–quitters never win.

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      Last Updated on September 12, 2019

      12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life

      12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life

      Even the most charismatic people you know, whether in person or celebrities of some sort, experience days where they feel lost in life and isolated from everyone else.

      While it’s good to know we aren’t alone in this feeling, the question still remains:

      What should we do when we feel lost and lonely?

      Here are 12 things to remember:

      1. Recognize That It’s Okay!

      The truth is, there are times you need to be alone. If you’ve always been accustomed to being in contact with people, this may prove difficult.

      However, learning how to be alone and comfortable in your own skin will give you confidence and a sense of self reliance.

      We cheat ourselves out of the opportunity to become self reliant when we look for constant companionship.

      Learn how to embrace your me time: What Your Fear of Being Alone Is Really About and How to Get over It

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      2. Use Your Lost and Loneliness as a Self-Directing Guide

      You’ve most likely heard the expression: “You have to know where you’ve been to know where you’re going.”

      Loneliness also serves as a life signal to indicate you’re in search of something. It’s when we’re in the midst of solitude that answers come from true soul searching.

      Remember, there is more to life than what you’re feeling.

      3. Realize Loneliness Helps You Face the Truth

      Being in the constant company of others, although comforting sometimes, can often serve as a distraction when we need to face the reality of a situation.

      Solitude cuts straight to the chase and forces you to deal with the problem at hand. See it as a blessing that can serve as a catalyst to set things right!

      4. Be Aware That You Have More Control Than You Think

      Typically, when we see ourselves as being lost or lonely, it gives us an excuse to view everything we come in contact with in a negative light. It lends itself to putting ourselves in the victim mode, when the truth of the matter is that you choose your attitude in every situation.

      No one can force a feeling upon you! It is YOU who has the ultimate say as to how you choose to react.

      5. Embrace the Freedom That the Feeling of Being Alone Can Offer

      Instead of wallowing in self pity, which many are prone to do because of loneliness, try looking at your circumstance as a new-found freedom.

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      Most people are in constant need of approval of their viewpoints. Try enjoying the fact that  you don’t need everyone you care about to support your decisions.

      6. Acknowledge the Person You Are Now

      Perhaps you feel a sense of loneliness and confusion because your life circumstances have taken you away from the persona that others know to be you.

      Perhaps the new you differs radically from the old. Realize that life is about change and how we react to that change. It’s okay that you’re not who you used to be.

      Take a look at this article and learn to accept your imperfect self: Accept Yourself (Flaws and All): 7 Benefits of Being Vulnerable

      7. Keep Striving to Do Your Best

      Often those who are feeling isolated and unto themselves will develop a defeatist attitude. They’ll do substandard work because their self esteem is low and they don’t care.

      Never let this feeling take away your sense of worth! Do your best always and when you come through this dark time, others will admire how you stayed determined in spite of the obstacles you had to overcome.

      And to live your best life, you must do this ONE thing: step out of your comfort zone.

      8. Don’t Forget That Time Is Precious

      When we’re lost in a sea of loneliness and depression, it’s all too easy to reflect on regrets of past life events. This does nothing but feed negativity and perpetuate the situation.

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      Instead of falling prey to this common pitfall, put one foot in front of the other and acknowledge every positive step you take. By doing this, you can celebrate the struggles you overcome at the end of the day.

      9. Remember, Things Happen for a Reason

      Every circumstance we encounter in our life is designed to teach us and that lesson is in turn passed on to others.

      Sometimes we’re fortunate enough to figure out the lesson to be learned, while other times, we simply need to have faith that if the lesson wasn’t meant directly for us to learn from, how we handled it was observed by someone who needed to learn.

      Your solitude and feeling of lost, in this instance, although painful possibly, may be teaching someone else.

      10. Journal During This Time

      Record your thoughts when you’re at the height of loneliness and feeling lost. You’ll be amazed when you reflect back at how you viewed things at the time and how far you’ve come later.

      This time (if recorded) can give you a keen insight into who you are and what makes you feel the way you feel.

      11. Remember You Aren’t the First to Feel This Way

      It’s quite common to feel as if we’re alone and no one else has ever felt this way before. We think this because at the time of our distress, we’re silently observing others around us who are seemingly fine in every way.

      The truth is, we can’t possibly know the struggles of those around us unless they elect to share them. We ALL have known this pain!

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      Try confiding in someone you trust and ask them how they deal with these feelings when they experienced it. You may be surprised at what you learn.

      12. Ask for Help If the Problem Persists

      The feeling of being lost and lonely is common to everyone, but typically it will last for a relatively short period of time.

      Most people will confess to, at one time or another, being in a “funk.” But if the problem persists longer than you feel it should, don’t ignore it.

      When your ability to reason and consider things rationally becomes impaired, do not poo poo the problem away and think it isn’t worthy of attention. Seek medical help.

      Afraid to ask for help? Here’s how to change your outlook to aim high!

      Final Thoughts

      Loneliness and a sense of feeling lost can in many ways be extremely painful and difficult to deal with at best. However, these feelings can also serve as a catalyst for change in our lives if we acknowledge them and act.

      Above anything, cherish your mental well being and don’t underestimate its worth. Seek professional guidance if you’re unable to distinguish between a sense of freedom for yourself and a sense of despair.

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      Featured photo credit: Andrew Neel via unsplash.com

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