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5 Easiest Ways to Make Everyone Around You Comfortable

5 Easiest Ways to Make Everyone Around You Comfortable

Once upon a time, I was not-at-all comfortable in my own skin. I suffered from shyness so severe that meeting new people was a stressful ordeal that resulted in sweaty palms, stuttering, and self-conscious thoughts that made me wish I was invisible. As you can imagine, my behavior didn’t exactly make people me comfortable. I’m happy to say I finally dumped my baggage and now love to meet new people. There isn’t a secret to overcoming your shyness, but I can tell you that the best way to cure your fear is through consistent practice. If you would like to become a social butterfly capable of making new friends with ease, I invite you to apply these five easiest ways to make everyone around you comfortable. 

1. Pay Attention

Always remember: it’s not about you–it’s about them. People are more distracted than ever in the Information Age, so simply focusing on the other person without staring at your phone every ten seconds will show them that you care. Make eye contact while they speak (but don’t stare!). Don’t interrupt them until they are done (but do ask relevant follow-up questions!). Do everything in your power to show people how thoughtful and caring you are to put them at ease.

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2. Be Thoughtful

Did you meet a person wearing a beautiful skirt that is super cute? Did your friend get a stylish new purse that you adore? If so, tell them all about it! It’s amazing how a simple compliment can make a person’s day. If you are meeting a new person and are nervous, start the conversation with a specific (and genuine!) compliment. You’ll feel a lot less pressure when a big, goofy grin and flushed cheeks develop on their face.

3. Speak Clearly

Speaking clearly is something I’ve struggled with for most of my life, and it is still something I have to remind myself of even today. I live in Tennessee, a state in the U.S. where most people have southern accents and a slow rhythm to their speech. If the typical rate of speech in this area is like struggling to swim through a pit of jello, mine is more like a starving cheetah viciously pursuing its prey. If I’m not careful, I’ll find myself speaking faster than the other person can even begin to comprehend. It’s not difficult to see how this might make a person feel uncomfortable around you. Be aware of the speech pattern of every person you talk to and be prepared to increase your volume or decrease your rate of speech to make sure they can understand the words that are coming out of your mouth.

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4. Display Confidence

A firm handshake, genuine smile, and tall posture will give you the confident swagger you need to be the life of any party. When you meet a new person: lock eyes for a brief moment, smile, shake hands, and say something like, “Hi, it’s so nice to meet you! My name is Theodore. Theodore Roosevelt.” We all know it’s awfully easy to forget a person’s name as soon as you hear it, so stating it twice will increase the odds that you will be remembered. To show confidence in your posture: keep your head tall, gaze forward, chest high, and shoulders down and back. Try not to cover your face with your hands or cross your legs, but instead keep your body as open as possible to reflect a welcoming personality that will make people feel comfortable around you.

5. Tell Stories

Whether it’s a spooky ghost-story told around a camp fire, a Shakespearean tragedy performed in a dark theater, or a steamy romance printed in paperback form, everyone loves a good story! Pay attention to commercials the next time you’re on the curled up on the couch watching your favorite TV show, and you’ll find that even marketers understand the power of good storytelling. Use this power to your advantage the next time you’re at a social gathering by telling a relevant (and tasteful!) joke to the people you meet. You could even tell a personal story about an embarrassing moment in your life to show people you are lighthearted and unafraid to make fun of yourself. If you’d like to continue your learning, check out these 12 golden rules of great conversation.

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Final thoughts / what do you think?

I hope you’re able to apply the steps in this article to make everyone around you comfortable! Please drop a comment below if you have any other ideas that will help your readers increase their confidence in a social setting.

But before you run off and wow people with your social skills, I feel the need to express a final thought: the points in this article very intentionally cover factors that are totally unrelated to who you are on a human level. Phoniness can be detected from miles away, so please don’t try to change yourself to fit somebody else’s mold. You are amazing for who you are and don’t let anybody tell you otherwise.

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We have to dare to be ourselves, however frightening or strange that self may prove to be. ― May Sarton

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Daniel Wallen

Daniel is a writer who focuses on blogging about happiness and motivation at Lifehack.

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Last Updated on September 12, 2019

12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life

12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life

Even the most charismatic people you know, whether in person or celebrities of some sort, experience days where they feel lost in life and isolated from everyone else.

While it’s good to know we aren’t alone in this feeling, the question still remains:

What should we do when we feel lost and lonely?

Here are 12 things to remember:

1. Recognize That It’s Okay!

The truth is, there are times you need to be alone. If you’ve always been accustomed to being in contact with people, this may prove difficult.

However, learning how to be alone and comfortable in your own skin will give you confidence and a sense of self reliance.

We cheat ourselves out of the opportunity to become self reliant when we look for constant companionship.

Learn how to embrace your me time: What Your Fear of Being Alone Is Really About and How to Get over It

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2. Use Your Lost and Loneliness as a Self-Directing Guide

You’ve most likely heard the expression: “You have to know where you’ve been to know where you’re going.”

Loneliness also serves as a life signal to indicate you’re in search of something. It’s when we’re in the midst of solitude that answers come from true soul searching.

Remember, there is more to life than what you’re feeling.

3. Realize Loneliness Helps You Face the Truth

Being in the constant company of others, although comforting sometimes, can often serve as a distraction when we need to face the reality of a situation.

Solitude cuts straight to the chase and forces you to deal with the problem at hand. See it as a blessing that can serve as a catalyst to set things right!

4. Be Aware That You Have More Control Than You Think

Typically, when we see ourselves as being lost or lonely, it gives us an excuse to view everything we come in contact with in a negative light. It lends itself to putting ourselves in the victim mode, when the truth of the matter is that you choose your attitude in every situation.

No one can force a feeling upon you! It is YOU who has the ultimate say as to how you choose to react.

5. Embrace the Freedom That the Feeling of Being Alone Can Offer

Instead of wallowing in self pity, which many are prone to do because of loneliness, try looking at your circumstance as a new-found freedom.

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Most people are in constant need of approval of their viewpoints. Try enjoying the fact that  you don’t need everyone you care about to support your decisions.

6. Acknowledge the Person You Are Now

Perhaps you feel a sense of loneliness and confusion because your life circumstances have taken you away from the persona that others know to be you.

Perhaps the new you differs radically from the old. Realize that life is about change and how we react to that change. It’s okay that you’re not who you used to be.

Take a look at this article and learn to accept your imperfect self: Accept Yourself (Flaws and All): 7 Benefits of Being Vulnerable

7. Keep Striving to Do Your Best

Often those who are feeling isolated and unto themselves will develop a defeatist attitude. They’ll do substandard work because their self esteem is low and they don’t care.

Never let this feeling take away your sense of worth! Do your best always and when you come through this dark time, others will admire how you stayed determined in spite of the obstacles you had to overcome.

And to live your best life, you must do this ONE thing: step out of your comfort zone.

8. Don’t Forget That Time Is Precious

When we’re lost in a sea of loneliness and depression, it’s all too easy to reflect on regrets of past life events. This does nothing but feed negativity and perpetuate the situation.

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Instead of falling prey to this common pitfall, put one foot in front of the other and acknowledge every positive step you take. By doing this, you can celebrate the struggles you overcome at the end of the day.

9. Remember, Things Happen for a Reason

Every circumstance we encounter in our life is designed to teach us and that lesson is in turn passed on to others.

Sometimes we’re fortunate enough to figure out the lesson to be learned, while other times, we simply need to have faith that if the lesson wasn’t meant directly for us to learn from, how we handled it was observed by someone who needed to learn.

Your solitude and feeling of lost, in this instance, although painful possibly, may be teaching someone else.

10. Journal During This Time

Record your thoughts when you’re at the height of loneliness and feeling lost. You’ll be amazed when you reflect back at how you viewed things at the time and how far you’ve come later.

This time (if recorded) can give you a keen insight into who you are and what makes you feel the way you feel.

11. Remember You Aren’t the First to Feel This Way

It’s quite common to feel as if we’re alone and no one else has ever felt this way before. We think this because at the time of our distress, we’re silently observing others around us who are seemingly fine in every way.

The truth is, we can’t possibly know the struggles of those around us unless they elect to share them. We ALL have known this pain!

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Try confiding in someone you trust and ask them how they deal with these feelings when they experienced it. You may be surprised at what you learn.

12. Ask for Help If the Problem Persists

The feeling of being lost and lonely is common to everyone, but typically it will last for a relatively short period of time.

Most people will confess to, at one time or another, being in a “funk.” But if the problem persists longer than you feel it should, don’t ignore it.

When your ability to reason and consider things rationally becomes impaired, do not poo poo the problem away and think it isn’t worthy of attention. Seek medical help.

Afraid to ask for help? Here’s how to change your outlook to aim high!

Final Thoughts

Loneliness and a sense of feeling lost can in many ways be extremely painful and difficult to deal with at best. However, these feelings can also serve as a catalyst for change in our lives if we acknowledge them and act.

Above anything, cherish your mental well being and don’t underestimate its worth. Seek professional guidance if you’re unable to distinguish between a sense of freedom for yourself and a sense of despair.

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Featured photo credit: Andrew Neel via unsplash.com

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