Advertising
Advertising

5 Common Mistakes People Make About Introverts

5 Common Mistakes People Make About Introverts

Estimates put nearly half the world’s population as introverts, yet this personality type is still greatly misunderstood, both by extroverts and fellow introverts.

Introversion and extroversion are personality types that are defined by how people get their energy and process the world. While both types have their own complexities, the basic difference is that extroverts recharge by being around people and generally process the world externally (e.g. being part of the conversation and talking while or before they think), while introverts recharge by spending time alone and generally process the world internally (e.g. being more of an observer and thinking before they speak).

Here are five common mistakes that people make about introverts, and the truth behind them:

Advertising

Introverts are shy

The idea that introversion and shyness is the same thing is one of the most common introvert-related myths. As I mentioned above, introversion is a personality type that is defined by how people manage their energy. Shyness is born out of social anxiety, insecurity and fears. So while introverts and people who experience shyness might appear very similar on the surface, introverts are more likely to spend time alone because it leaves them feeling refreshed and energetic, while people who experience shyness are more likely to spend time alone because they feel fear around social interactions.

Shyness and introversion can go hand in hand—especially as we live in a society that is biased towards extroversion and perceived pressure to be outgoing and bubbly can be anxiety-provoking in itself. However, they are not the same thing, nor is one a result of the other.

An introvert doesn’t enjoy company

A second common introvert-related myth is that introverts don’t enjoy the company of other people. It’s true that you’re more likely to find an introvert at home with a good book than schmoozing a bunch of people they don’t know at a busy party, but introverts—just like everyone—thrive on human connection.

Advertising

While extroverts tend to gravitate towards larger groups, introverts flourish in small groups and within one-to-one interactions. They tend to feel drained by small talk but love having deep, thought-provoking conversations about the things that really matter to them.

An introvert can certainly be a people person—they just need to be mindful of their energy and take time to recharge after social interactions.

Introverts are unfriendly

To begin with, introverts can seem reserved, haughty, and distant, but it’s probably not personal—the majority of introverts will become warmer the more you get to know them. I remember someone once telling me that the first time we had met they thought I didn’t like them—I did, I just didn’t know them very well at the time so they saw a more reserved version of me than my closest friends might.

Advertising

In general, introverts tend to have a few close friends that see a very different side of them than people they’re meeting for the first time. Most introverts have a lot more going on underneath the surface than first meets the eye. Once you’ve established a mutual connection and trust, you’ll start to experience this for yourself.

Introverts hate public speaking

Contrary to popular belief, many successful public speakers and performers are introverts. As I mentioned above, introverts don’t usually reveal much about themselves to people they don’t know or acquaintances, however public speaking or performing requires an element of play-acting and giving a performance. For many introverts, that’s what public speaking is and, although they will need time to recharge afterwards, being introverted certainly doesn’t preclude anyone from taking the mic.

The idea of standing up in front of a room of people and sharing ideas can be terrifying for anyone—not just introverts—but public speaking is a skill and, like any skill, we can practice. Susan Cain shares some useful tips for introverts who are ready to jump into the public speaking arena (http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/quiet-the-power-introverts/201107/10-public-speaking-tips-introverts) and points out that with the right preparation and technique, introverts can bring the house down.

Advertising

Introverts can’t be entrepreneurs

This was a belief I held for a long time—to my detriment. When people think of running business, they think of things like networking events and naturally assume that introverts are going to be out of their element. As you’ve probably guessed by now, however, this isn’t the case!

Introverts’ thoughtful, observatory natures mean they can make excellent entrepreneurs; they’re good at watching and analyzing a problem before presenting a solution. Equally, while the average introvert might find traditional networking, marketing and promotion draining, social media and the explosion of online businesses now mean that anyone can set up a business from behind their computer screen—and run it in a way that aligns with their personality preferences. While some introverts might balk at the idea of attending in-person networking events, their businesses flourish through blogs, social media, written interviews, and other introvert-friendly activities.

Labels like introvert and extrovert can be useful, as long as we make sure we’re not pigeonholing people based on our misconceptions of what those labels mean. Whether you identify as being introverted or extroverted, remember that there’s nothing you can’t do because of your personality type. Listen to the story you’re telling yourself and decide how you want it to end.

Featured photo credit: eleannab via flickr.com

More by this author

Hannah Braime

Hannah is a coach who believes the world is a richer place when we have the courage to be fully self-expressed.

The 5-Step Guide to Self Care for Busy People How to Enjoy Life In a Way Most People Don’t The 5-minute Guide to Meditation: Anywhere, Anytime 5 Killer Online Journal Tools That Make Journaling Easier and More Fun 7 Practical Ways To Improve Your Emotional Intelligence

Trending in Communication

1 How to Not Take Things Personally for a Happier Life 2 How to Let Go of Toxic People in Your Life 3 7 Scientifically Proven Ways to Be a Happier Person 4 50 Red Flags You Should Watch for in Your Relationship 5 40 Acts of Kindness to Make the World a Better Place

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on November 26, 2020

How Relationships Building Helps Achieve Career Success

How Relationships Building Helps Achieve Career Success

As playwright Wilson Mizner supposedly said all the way back in the 1930s,

“Be kind to everyone on the way up; you will meet the same people on the way down.”

The adage is the perfect prototype for relationship building in 2020, although we may want to expand Mizner’s definition of “kind” to include being helpful, respectful, grateful, and above all, crediting your colleagues along the way.

5 Ways to Switch on Your Relationship Building Magnetism

Relationship building does not come easily to all. Today’s computer culture makes us more insular and less likely to reach out—not to mention our new work-from-home situation in which we are only able to interact virtually. Still, relationship building remains an important part of career engagement and success, and it gets better with practice.

Here are five ways you can strengthen your relationships:

1. Advocate for Other’s Ideas

Take the initiative to speak up in support of other team members’ good ideas. Doing so lets others know that the team’s success takes precedence over your needs for personal success. Get behind any colleague’s innovative approach or clever solution and offer whatever help you can give to see it through. Teammates will value your vote of confidence and your support.

Advertising

2. Show Compassion

If you learn that someone whom you work with has encountered difficult times, reach out. If it’s not someone you know well, a hand-written card expressing your sympathy and hopes for better times ahead could be an initial gesture. If it’s someone with whom you interact regularly, the act could involve offering to take on some of the person’s work to provide a needed reprieve or even bringing in a home-cooked dish as a way to offer comfort. The show of compassion will not go unnoticed, and your relationship building will have found a foothold.

3. Communicate Regularly

Make an effort to share any information with team members that will help them do their jobs more effectively. Keeping people in the loop says a lot about your consideration for what others need to deliver their best results.

Try to discover the preferred mode of communication for each team member. Some people are fine relying on emails; others like to have a phone conversation. And once we can finally return to working together in offices, you may determine that face-to-face updates may be most advantageous for some members.

4. Ask for Feedback

Showing your willingness to reach out for advice and guidance will make a positive impression on your boss. When you make it clear that you welcome and can accept pointers, you display candor and trust in what opinions your superior has to offer. Your proclivity towards considering ways of improving your performance and strengthening any working interactions will signal your strong relationship skills.

If you are in a work environment where you are asked to give feedback, be generous and compassionate. That does not mean being wishy-washy. Try always to give the type of feedback that you wouldn’t mind receiving.

5. Give Credit Where It’s Due

Be the worker who remembers to credit staffers with their contributions. It’s a surprisingly rare talent to credit others, but when you do so, they will remember to credit you, and the collective credit your team will accrue will be well worth the effort.

Advertising

How Does Relationship Building Build Careers?

Once you have strengthened and deepened your relationships, here are some of the great benefits:

Work Doesn’t Feel So Much Like Work

According to a Gallup poll, when you have a best friend at work, you are more likely to feel engaged with your job. Work is more fun when you have positive, productive relationships with your colleagues. Instead of spending time and energy overcoming difficult personalities, you can spend time enjoying the camaraderie with colleagues as you work congenially on projects together. When your coworkers are your friends, time goes by quickly and challenges don’t weigh as heavily.

You Can Find Good Help

It’s easier to ask for assistance when you have a good working relationship with a colleague. And with office tasks changing at the speed of technology, chances are that you are going to need some help acclimating—especially now that work has gone remote due to the COVID-19 pandemic.

Much of relationship building rests on your genuine expressions of appreciation toward others. Showing gratitude for another’s help or for their willingness to put in the extra effort will let them know you value them.

Mentors Come Out of the Woodwork

Mentors are proven to advance your professional and career development. A mentor can help you navigate how to approach your work and keep you apprised of industry trends. They have a plethora of experience to draw from that can be invaluable when advising you on achieving career success and advancement.

Mentors flock to those who are skilled at relationship building. So, work on your relationships and keep your eyes peeled for a worthy mentor.

Advertising

You Pull Together as a Team

Great teamwork starts with having an “abundance mentality” rather than a scarcity mentality. Too often, workers view all projects through a scarcity mentality lens. This leads to office strife as coworkers compete for their piece of the pie. But in an abundance mentality mode, you focus on the strengths that others bring rather than the possibility that they are potential competitors.

Instead, you can commit relationship building efforts to ensure a positive work environment rather than an adversarial one. When you let others know that you intend to support their efforts and contribute to their success, they will respond in kind. Go, team!

Your Network Expands and So Does Your Paycheck

Expand your relationship building scope beyond your coworkers to include customers, suppliers, and other industry stakeholders. Your extra efforts can lead to extra sales, a more rewarding career, and even speedy professional advancement. And don’t overlook the importance of building warm relationships with assistants, receptionists, or even interns.

Take care to build bridges, not just to your boss and your boss’s boss but with those that work under you as well. You may find that someone who you wouldn’t expect will put in a good word for you with your supervisor.

Building and maintaining good working relationships with everyone you come in contact with can pay off in unforeseen ways. You never know when that underling will turn out to be the company’s “golden child.” Six years from now you may be turning to them for a job. If you have built up a good, trusting work relationship with others along your way, you will more likely be considered for positions that any of these people may be looking to fill.

Your Job Won’t Stress You Out

Study shows that some 83 percent of American workers experience work-related stress.[1] Granted, some of that stress is now likely caused by the new pandemic-triggered workplace adjustments, yet bosses and management, in general, are reportedly the predominant source of stress for more than one-third of workers.

Advertising

Having meaningful connections among coworkers is the best way to make work less stressful. Whether it is having others whom to commiserate with, bounce ideas off, or bring out your best performance, friendships strengthen the group’s esprit de corps and lower the stress level of your job.

Your Career Shines Bright

Who would you feel better about approaching to provide a recommendation or ask for promotion: a cold, aloof boss with whom you have only an impersonal relationship or one that knows you as a person and with whom you have built a warm, trusting relationship?

Your career advancement will always excel when you have a mutual bond of friendship and appreciation with those who can recommend you. Consider the plug you could receive from a supervisor who knows you as a friend versus one who remains detached and only notices you in terms of your ability to meet deadlines or attain goals.

When people fully know your skills, strengths, personality, and aspirations, you have promoters who will sing your praises with any opportunity for advancement.

Final Thoughts

At the end of the day, it is “who you know” not “what you know.” When you build relationships, you build a pipeline of colleagues, work partners, team members, current bosses, and former bosses who want to help you—who want to see you succeed.

At its core, every business is a people business. Making a point to take the small but meaningful actions that build the foundation of a good relationship can be instrumental in cultivating better relationships at work.

More Articles About Relationships Building

Featured photo credit: Adam Winger via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] The American Institute of Stress: 42 Worrying Workplace Stress Statistics

Read Next