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5 Bad Mindsets You Should Change

5 Bad Mindsets You Should Change
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The best of the best, I want that to be me!

For some reason, the standard of work quality and results have dropped drastically worldwide:  few of us are giving our best at the things that are so fundamentally important in life.

Why have we become so lazy? I’d really love to know the answer to thisit seems as though the only people who are giving their best and working truly hard are those developers of products and apps that are destined to make us lazier.

Completion has become more important than quality.

Really think about this: most of us would rather get over with something as fast as possible instead of giving it our best. It’s no longer a battle between quality over quantity, it’s now about quality VS time of completion, so instead of investing time into doing something as best as we can, we choose to take the easy route.

Our minds have been brainwashed into thinking that we shouldn’t exhaust ourselves with too much hard work, and yet countless people put off their goals by saying they don’t have time for them, yet they spend hours in front of the TV, wasting precious time.

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What the hell are we doing?

You only get one life to live, and if you continue wasting it on making others rich and yourself sick, it would be a complete waste. You are never too old to establish a dream for yourself , so put your priorities in order and make time for the important things.

Do You Think That You’re Perfect?

There’s another issue which is extremely frustrating and such a major setback in productivity, and that’s letting your ego convince you that you have the answer to every question. Many people are so caught up by this deadly mindset and ego that they refuse to accept knowledge from others and expand their own knowledge base.

Don’t be that person! If anything, be the person who is extremely open-minded and actually takes other people’s opinions into consideration before passing judgement on something you may not be as knowledgeable about as you believe.

It’s okay to accept advice from others; in fact, it’s one of the best ways to learn and improve yourself

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Aside from the knowledge aspect, it’s very difficult being around someone who acts high and mighty when you’re honestly trying to be sincere by offering worthy advice and opinions. Don’t isolate yourself with such a bad mindsetbe open-minded, accepting, and appreciative of the knowledge you pick up from others.

Unwillingness to Share Your Winnings.

A lesson to be learnt from a few online entrepreneurs is the courage and sincerity to share successful strategies with others. Somewhere along the way, we’ve become selfish:  on the surface we may seem fine, but inside our hearts we have jealousy and greed to hog all the rewards.

Be a kind person: Be someone who cares enough to share a winning strategy. That is a person capable of greatness and others appreciate such people; I know I do. The moment you let go of the vices that hold back the humanitarian within is when you have reached a state of greatness.

Sharing is caring: Live with that philosophy and your life will be showered with rewards.

If that isn’t convincing enough, think about how spiritually uplifting such graciousness can be. 

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Meaningless Sex and Toying with Emotions

Random and meaningless sex has impacted marriage and commitment greatly. Many people don’t appreciate the values and morals behind commitment anymore, as we have been brainwashed into believing that the random hookups that occur in movies and stuff will lead to an intensely amazing love storyboy have we been fooled!

Instead, we have an increasing divorce rate and STD transmissions. Why? Because the mindset of being old-fashioned is seen as a bad thing, but if we continued to hold onto the beliefs from 30+ years ago, things wouldn’t be so bad. It’s possible that love would be better than depicted in the movies, commitment would actually mean something, and the concept of marriage would truly be valued and respected.

Be sincere and respect that if someone grants you the amazing privilege of having their trust and love, treat it like you would want yours to be treated. Treat others the way you would want to be treated.

Believing that Your Job is Your Best and Most Stable Source of Income. 

I understand how difficult it is to get a job: employers want people with experience, but how do you get experience if no one will give you a chance? The instant you do bag a job, it can be pretty easy to make that one job your sole means of income.

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Depending on the income from a single job is realistic and normal, but the problem is that one source of income doesn’t seem so safe, especially with the way recession comes and goes. My grandfather, my father, and my uncle all had the mindset of doing as many things as possible to make a living, which is why my father has built a house without using credit, bought his car without credit, and why everything belongs to us rather than to creditors.

Going this route isn’t easy, but it’s not impossible. The right amount of work, proper planning, prioritizing, and a bit of legal can help you on your way to earning more than you ever could from just that one job.

Are You Ready To Change The Way You Think?

Are you ready to put aside your issues and work on changing the way you think?

Change is difficult, but it’s likely to save your life. That may sound like a very bold statement, but ask people who have battled with a drug addiction, unhealthy eating, or bad financial management and find out exactly how a change in their mindset saved their lives.

It’s a day by day job to change; results may happen after a long period but when it does, it will change your life for the better.

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Last Updated on July 20, 2021

How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)

How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)
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You’re standing behind the curtain, just about to make your way on stage to face the many faces half-shrouded in darkness in front of you. As you move towards the spotlight, your body starts to feel heavier with each step. A familiar thump echoes throughout your body – your heartbeat has gone off the charts.

Don’t worry, you’re not the only one with glossophobia(also known as speech anxiety or the fear of speaking to large crowds). Sometimes, the anxiety happens long before you even stand on stage.

Your body’s defence mechanism responds by causing a part of your brain to release adrenaline into your blood – the same chemical that gets released as if you were being chased by a lion.

Here’s a step-by-step guide to help you overcome your fear of public speaking:

1. Prepare yourself mentally and physically

According to experts, we’re built to display anxiety and to recognize it in others. If your body and mind are anxious, your audience will notice. Hence, it’s important to prepare yourself before the big show so that you arrive on stage confident, collected and ready.

“Your outside world is a reflection of your inside world. What goes on in the inside, shows on the outside.” – Bob Proctor

Exercising lightly before a presentation helps get your blood circulating and sends oxygen to the brain. Mental exercises, on the other hand, can help calm the mind and nerves. Here are some useful ways to calm your racing heart when you start to feel the butterflies in your stomach:

Warming up

If you’re nervous, chances are your body will feel the same way. Your body gets tense, your muscles feel tight or you’re breaking in cold sweat. The audience will notice you are nervous.

If you observe that this is exactly what is happening to you minutes before a speech, do a couple of stretches to loosen and relax your body. It’s better to warm up before every speech as it helps to increase the functional potential of the body as a whole. Not only that, it increases muscle efficiency, improves reaction time and your movements.

Here are some exercises to loosen up your body before show time:

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  1. Neck and shoulder rolls – This helps relieve upper body muscle tension and pressure as the rolls focus on rotating the head and shoulders, loosening the muscle. Stress and anxiety can make us rigid within this area which can make you feel agitated, especially when standing.
  2. Arm stretches – We often use this part of our muscles during a speech or presentation through our hand gestures and movements. Stretching these muscles can reduce arm fatigue, loosen you up and improve your body language range.
  3. Waist twists – Place your hands on your hips and rotate your waist in a circular motion. This exercise focuses on loosening the abdominal and lower back regions which is essential as it can cause discomfort and pain, further amplifying any anxieties you may experience.

Stay hydrated

Ever felt parched seconds before speaking? And then coming up on stage sounding raspy and scratchy in front of the audience? This happens because the adrenaline from stage fright causes your mouth to feel dried out.

To prevent all that, it’s essential we stay adequately hydrated before a speech. A sip of water will do the trick. However, do drink in moderation so that you won’t need to go to the bathroom constantly.

Try to avoid sugary beverages and caffeine, since it’s a diuretic – meaning you’ll feel thirstier. It will also amplify your anxiety which prevents you from speaking smoothly.

Meditate

Meditation is well-known as a powerful tool to calm the mind. ABC’s Dan Harris, co-anchor of Nightline and Good Morning America weekend and author of the book titled10% Happier , recommends that meditation can help individuals to feel significantly calmer, faster.

Meditation is like a workout for your mind. It gives you the strength and focus to filter out the negativity and distractions with words of encouragement, confidence and strength.

Mindfulness meditation, in particular, is a popular method to calm yourself before going up on the big stage. The practice involves sitting comfortably, focusing on your breathing and then bringing your mind’s attention to the present without drifting into concerns about the past or future – which likely includes floundering on stage.

Here’s a nice example of guided meditation before public speaking:

2. Focus on your goal

One thing people with a fear of public speaking have in common is focusing too much on themselves and the possibility of failure.

Do I look funny? What if I can’t remember what to say? Do I look stupid? Will people listen to me? Does anyone care about what I’m talking about?’

Instead of thinking this way, shift your attention to your one true purpose – contributing something of value to your audience.

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Decide on the progress you’d like your audience to make after your presentation. Notice their movements and expressions to adapt your speech to ensure that they are having a good time to leave the room as better people.

If your own focus isn’t beneficial and what it should be when you’re speaking, then shift it to what does. This is also key to establishing trust during your presentation as the audience can clearly see that you have their interests at heart.[1]

3. Convert negativity to positivity

There are two sides constantly battling inside of us – one is filled with strength and courage while the other is doubt and insecurities. Which one will you feed?

‘What if I mess up this speech? What if I’m not funny enough? What if I forget what to say?’

It’s no wonder why many of us are uncomfortable giving a presentation. All we do is bring ourselves down before we got a chance to prove ourselves. This is also known as a self-fulfilling prophecy – a belief that comes true because we are acting as if it already is. If you think you’re incompetent, then it will eventually become true.

Motivational coaches tout that positive mantras and affirmations tend to boost your confidents for the moments that matter most. Say to yourself: “I’ll ace this speech and I can do it!”

Take advantage of your adrenaline rush to encourage positive outcome rather than thinking of the negative ‘what ifs’.

Here’s a video of Psychologist Kelly McGonigal who encourages her audience to turn stress into something positive as well as provide methods on how to cope with it:

4. Understand your content

Knowing your content at your fingertips helps reduce your anxiety because there is one less thing to worry about. One way to get there is to practice numerous times before your actual speech.

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However, memorizing your script word-for-word is not encouraged. You can end up freezing should you forget something. You’ll also risk sounding unnatural and less approachable.

“No amount of reading or memorizing will make you successful in life. It is the understanding and the application of wise thought that counts.” – Bob Proctor

Many people unconsciously make the mistake of reading from their slides or memorizing their script word-for-word without understanding their content – a definite way to stress themselves out.

Understanding your speech flow and content makes it easier for you to convert ideas and concepts into your own words which you can then clearly explain to others in a conversational manner. Designing your slides to include text prompts is also an easy hack to ensure you get to quickly recall your flow when your mind goes blank.[2]

One way to understand is to memorize the over-arching concepts or ideas in your pitch. It helps you speak more naturally and let your personality shine through. It’s almost like taking your audience on a journey with a few key milestones.

5. Practice makes perfect

Like most people, many of us are not naturally attuned to public speaking. Rarely do individuals walk up to a large audience and present flawlessly without any research and preparation.

In fact, some of the top presenters make it look easy during showtime because they have spent countless hours behind-the-scenes in deep practice. Even great speakers like the late John F. Kennedy would spend months preparing his speech beforehand.

Public speaking, like any other skill, requires practice – whether it be practicing your speech countless of times in front of a mirror or making notes. As the saying goes, practice makes perfect!

6. Be authentic

There’s nothing wrong with feeling stressed before going up to speak in front of an audience.

Many people fear public speaking because they fear others will judge them for showing their true, vulnerable self. However, vulnerability can sometimes help you come across as more authentic and relatable as a speaker.

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Drop the pretence of trying to act or speak like someone else and you’ll find that it’s worth the risk. You become more genuine, flexible and spontaneous, which makes it easier to handle unpredictable situations – whether it’s getting tough questions from the crowd or experiencing an unexpected technical difficulty.

To find out your authentic style of speaking is easy. Just pick a topic or issue you are passionate about and discuss this like you normally would with a close family or friend. It is like having a conversation with someone in a personal one-to-one setting. A great way to do this on stage is to select a random audience member(with a hopefully calming face) and speak to a single person at a time during your speech. You’ll find that it’s easier trying to connect to one person at a time than a whole room.

With that said, being comfortable enough to be yourself in front of others may take a little time and some experience, depending how comfortable you are with being yourself in front of others. But once you embrace it, stage fright will not be as intimidating as you initially thought.

Presenters like Barack Obama are a prime example of a genuine and passionate speaker:

7. Post speech evaluation

Last but not the least, if you’ve done public speaking and have been scarred from a bad experience, try seeing it as a lesson learned to improve yourself as a speaker.

Don’t beat yourself up after a presentation

We are the hardest on ourselves and it’s good to be. But when you finish delivering your speech or presentation, give yourself some recognition and a pat on the back.

You managed to finish whatever you had to do and did not give up. You did not let your fears and insecurities get to you. Take a little more pride in your work and believe in yourself.

Improve your next speech

As mentioned before, practice does make perfect. If you want to improve your public speaking skills, try asking someone to film you during a speech or presentation. Afterwards, watch and observe what you can do to improve yourself next time.

Here are some questions you can ask yourself after every speech:

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  • How did I do?
  • Are there any areas for improvement?
  • Did I sound or look stressed?
  • Did I stumble on my words? Why?
  • Was I saying “um” too often?
  • How was the flow of the speech?

Write everything you observed down and keep practicing and improving. In time, you’ll be able to better manage your fears of public speaking and appear more confident when it counts.

If you want even more tips about public speaking or delivering a great presentation, check out these articles too:

Reference

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