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50 Simple Questions to Ask to Get to Know Someone Deeply

50 Simple Questions to Ask to Get to Know Someone Deeply

We often meet new people at parties or through work situations. Do you have a good way to get to know someone new without just talking about your job and where you are from?

Usually you are just looking for a pleasant way to pass the time and maybe to find a new friend. So most people know it’s best to avoid talking about politics, religion and sexual orientation. The best way to really get to know someone is to learn what they do (with their spare time) and what they like (probably also shows up in what they do).

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Below are 50 simple questions to ask to get to know someone. It will give you some new ideas for topics to discuss when meeting someone new. Be ready with your own answers too!

Get to know someone by learning what they like

Would you rather…

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  1. Watch Star Wars or Star Trek? Harry Potter or The Lord of the Rings? Use whichever movies you find most relevant.
  2. Read on a Kindle or paperback book? This question is a starter for many possible conversations on reading, favorite books, technology, libraries, bookstores and more!
  3. Go to a play or musical?
  4. Go to the theater or a movie?
  5. Wear jeans or chinos?
  6. Have a Margarita or Pina Colada?
  7. Drink a glass of Guinness or Fat Tire?
  8. Drink coffee or beer?
  9. Crash with friends or stay in a hotel?
  10. Visit Europe or Mexico?
  11. Vacation in Hawaii or Alaska, and why?
  12. Choose a free trip or money? This may tell you whether the person values experiences over dollars.
  13. Stay in a hotel or an Airbnb home?
  14. Go skiing or snowboading?
  15. Travel by plane, train, or automobile?
  16. Enjoy a houseboat or speed boat?
  17. Go climbing or zip lining?
  18. Hike or bike?
  19. Go to a comedy club or dance club?
  20. Have a night out or evening in?
  21. Watch TV or read a book?
  22. Go canoeing or waterskiing?
  23. Camp in an RV or stay in a tent?
  24. Use Facebook or Twitter?
  25. Use iPhone or Android phone?
  26. Win the lottery or find your perfect job?
  27. Swim in a pool or the ocean? Salt water and waves crashing on the beach or temperature controlled, lovely water all year round.
  28. Travel by sailboat or cruise ship?
  29. Watch sports or play sports?
  30. Play dodgeball or kickball?

Get to know someone by learning how they think

  1. Who would you want with you if you were stranded on a deserted island?
  2. If you could do anything you wanted right now, what would it be?
  3. If money was no object, what would you do all day?
  4. Where do you most want to travel, but have never been?
  5. What is your favorite memory?
  6. Who is your favorite author?
  7. What is your favorite book?
  8. Who do you look up to and why?
  9. What was your favorite activity in gym class? (Personally I think the ______ were a lot of fun.)
  10. What has been your biggest challenge?
  11. What is your biggest success up until now?
  12. What does your perfect day look like?
  13. What is one thing that you can’t live without right now?
  14. University or life experience, which do you feel best prepares you for life?
  15. What is the one thing that should be taught in school that isn’t already?
  16. If you were to create a piece of art, what would the subject be?
  17. What one thing would you change if you had to do it over?
  18. If you could go back in time, what year would you travel to?
  19. What does your life say about you?
  20. How would your friends describe you?

How to start the conversation normally

Rather than just asking a question, say: “Movies are fun, but the theater is a richer experience. I recently saw … and loved it. What do you prefer, movies or theater?”

Don’t just go rattle off question after question; let the question you ask naturally lead into a conversation. Once they tell you if they prefer theater or movies, probe into what about their choice that makes it preferable.

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You can even try this communication hack to make the conversation even more natural: Want To Break The Ice And Get Close To Someone Quickly? Try This Communication Hack

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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Last Updated on May 17, 2019

This Is What Happens When You Move Out Of the Comfort Zone

This Is What Happens When You Move Out Of the Comfort Zone

The pursuit of worthwhile goals is a part of what makes life enjoyable. Being able to set a goal, then see yourself progress towards achieving that goal is an amazing feeling.

But do you know the biggest obstacle for most people trying to achieve their goals, the silent dream killer that stops people before they ever even get started? That obstacle is the comfort zone, and getting stuck there is bound to derail any efforts you make towards achieving the goals you’ve set for yourself.

If you want to achieve those goals, you’ll have to break free from your comfort zone. Let’s take a look at how your life will change once you build up the courage to leave your comfort zone.

What Is the Comfort Zone?

The comfort zone is defined as “a behavioural state within which a person operates in an anxiety-neutral condition, using a limited set of behaviours to deliver a steady level of performance.”

What stands out to me the most about that definition is the last part: “using a limited set of behaviours to deliver a steady level of performance.” How many successful people do you know who deliver a steady level of performance?

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The goal in life is to continually challenge yourself, and continually improve yourself. And in order to do that, you have move out of your comfort zone. But once you do, your life will start to change in ways you could never have imagined. I know because it’s happening right now in my own life.

Here’s what I’ve learned.

1. You will be scared

Leaving your comfort zone isn’t easy. In fact, in can be downright terrifying at times, and that’s okay. It’s perfectly normal to feel a little trepidation when you’re embarking on a journey that forces you to try new things.

So don’t freak out or get overwhelmed when you feel yourself getting a little scared. It’s perfectly normal and all part of the process. What’s important is that you don’t let that fear hold you back. You must continue to take action in the face of fear.

That’s what separates winners from losers.

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2. You will fail

Stepping out of your comfort zone means you’re moving into uncharted territory. You’re trying things that you’ve never tried before, and learning things you’ve never learned before.

That steep learning curve means you’re not going to get everything right the first time, and you will eventually fail when you move out of your comfort zone. But as long as the failures aren’t catastrophic, it can actually be a good thing to fail because …

3. You will learn

Failure is the best teacher. I’ve learned more from each one of my failures than I have from each one of my successes. When you fail small, and fail often, you rapidly increase the rate at which you learn new insights and skills. And that new knowledge, if applied correctly, will eventually lead to your success.

4. You will see yourself in a different way

Once you move out of your comfort zone, you immediately prove to yourself that you’re capable of achieving more than you thought was possible. And that will change the way you see yourself.

Moving forward, you’ll have more confidence in yourself whenever you step out of your comfort zone, and that increased confidence will make it more likely that you continue to step outside your comfort zone. And each time you do, you’ll prove to yourself again and again what you’re really capable of.

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5. Your peers will see you in a different way

Whether we want to admit or not, people judge other people. And right now, people view you in a certain way, and they have a certain idea of what you’re capable of. That’s because they’ve become accustomed to seeing you operate in your comfort zone.

But once you move out of your comfort zone, you’ll prove to other people, as well, that you’re capable of much more than you’ve shown in the past.

The increased confidence other people place in you will bring about more opportunities than ever before.

6. Your comfort zone will expand

The good thing about the comfort zone is that it’s flexible and malleable. With each action you take outside of your comfort zone, it expands. And once you master that new skill or action, it eventually becomes part of your comfort zone.

This is great news for you because it means that you can constantly increase and improve upon the behaviors that you’re comfortable with. And the more tools and skills you have at your disposal, the easier it will be to achieve your goals.

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7. You will increase your concentration and focus

When you’re living inside of your comfort zone, the bulk of your actions are habitual: automatic, subconscious, and requiring limited focus.

But once you move out of your comfort zone, you no longer rely on those habitual responses. You’re forced to concentrate and focus on the new action in a way you never do in your comfort zone.

8. You will develop new skills

Moving out of your comfort zone requires that you develop new skills. One of the many benefits you’ll experience is that you’ll be stepping away from the “limited set of behaviors” and start to develop your ability and expertise in new areas.

Living inside of your comfort zone only requires a limited skill set, and those skills won’t contribute much to your success. Once you can confidently step outside of your comfort zone and learn a new skill, there’s no limit to how much you can achieve.

9. You will achieve more than before

With everything that happens once you move out of your comfort zone, you’re naturally going to achieve more than ever before.

Your increased concentration and focus will help you develop new skills. Those new skills will change the way you see yourself, encouraging you to step even further out of your comfort zone.

Featured photo credit: Josef Grunig via farm3.staticflickr.com

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