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Want To Break The Ice And Get Close To Someone Quickly? Try This Communication Hack

Want To Break The Ice And Get Close To Someone Quickly? Try This Communication Hack

We all have experienced it. That painful silence between us and someone we just met, when we feel like we have nothing to say and seconds seem to last forever, and the mind starts racing through thoughts, looking for a way to escape the awkwardness.

When we know how, breaking the ice and opening up the lines of communication don’t have to be hard, and it can be useful not just with colleagues but also with anyone who we’re just beginning to know.

Vulnerability Is The Key To Building Connection

In an attempt to be accepted by our social groups, we become more and more defensive and conservative when it comes to what we share with people, but research shows that the most important factor when it comes to building connection is vulnerability.

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As Brené Brown, a renown researcher in the field of vulnerability, courage, authenticity and shame, said in an interview with Dan Schawbel:

“The difficult thing is that vulnerability is the first thing I look for in you and the last thing I’m willing to show you. In you, it’s courage and daring. In me, it’s weakness.” [1]

So, a very simple way to inspire connection and closeness with someone is to be brave enough to show some vulnerability. How? A good way is, for example, to tell a personal story.

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Share A Personal Story To Get Close To Others

Trusting someone enough to share something personal, is an invitation to a closer relationship and it inspires trust, even more so than competence.[2]

Sure there are many different stories, and you probably don’t want to start your first Monday at work by telling about some of your most compromising behaviours. But sharing something meaningful from your personal sphere will contribute to starting to build a relationship.

In our humanness, experiencing life, it’s the stories we live and the opinions we have about what happens to us that makes us unique and special. So when we are not sharing our stories, we are missing the opportunity to find that which we have in common with others, to learn or teach something new, and to build a new connection.

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You May Feel Uncomfortable At First, But You Will Feel So Good Afterwards

It’s an essential part of our social nature to want to be accepted by the group. And no matter if you like or not the job (or the party), you still want to feel accepted because that’s in your nature and that’s what feels good.

But when you find the courage to defy the comfort of hiding in silence, it might be surprising to see how empowering it feels, and how much empathy it generates, to share a story that shows your vulnerability and struggle as a human being.

By doing this, not only we practising being more confident in our own voice, but we might also be casting a light into someone else’s problems. That practice can reinforce our core values, bring a sense peace and hope, and contribute to a greater success, not just in short conversations, but to life in general.[3]

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Nowadays, that we are more individualised than ever, and faced with the frequent changing of our social settings (like schools or jobs), getting closer to new people might not be comfortable, and trying to break the ice every day can turn into an added daily stress.

It certainly helps and makes life more enjoyable to have some level of closeness and friendship in our social environment, making every day a little more joyous.

So, next time you’re looking to make a connection, rather than playing safe, find the courage to be vulnerable and share a personal story. That courage, the courage to be real, is more inspiring than your feats.

Reference

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Ana Sofia Batista

Psychologist | Mentor | Writer | Yoga Teacher

This Quality Of Your Man Can Predict Whether Your Marriage Will Last Or Not Want To Break The Ice And Get Close To Someone Quickly? Try This Communication Hack If You Understand This Psychological Rule, You Can Motivate Yourself More Effectively

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Last Updated on October 18, 2018

50+ Best Motivational Quotes To Prepare You For Any Challenges In Life

50+ Best Motivational Quotes To Prepare You For Any Challenges In Life

Life is filled with highs and lows —happiness and struggles that will test your resilience and integrity, push you to overcome challenges and leave you with lessons that will make you even stronger on your way up.

It’s the way you feel and think about yourself, including your expectations and beliefs about what is possible to you, greatly determines everything that happens to you.

It all starts with your thoughts. When you change your thoughts, you transform the quality of your life. (Right, Nancy’s story is a typical example!)

Below is a list of the best motivational quotes to inspire you to start your day with a blast:

Quotes for self-assurance

1. Don’t downgrade your dream just to fit your reality, upgrade your conviction to match your destiny.

    2. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think.

      3. You are confined only by the walls you build yourself.

        4. The man who has confidence in himself gains the confidence of others

          5. You attract what you are, not what you want. If you want great, then be great.

            6. It’s not who you are that holds you behind, it’s who you think your are not.

              Quotes about positivity

              7. Stop being afraid of what could go wrong and think of what could go right.

                8. You should never regret anything in life. If it’s good, it’s wonderful. If it’s bad, it is experience.

                  9. Falling down is an accident, staying down is a choice.

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                    10. If you have the power to make someone happy, do it. The world needs more of that.

                      11. Always believe that something wonderful is about to happen.

                        12. Don’t be afraid to give up the good and go for great.

                          13. Remember that life’s greatest lessons are usually learned from worst times and from the worst mistakes.

                            Quotes for work and success

                            14. Don’t talk, just act. Don’t say, just show. Don’t promise, just prove.

                              15. Never stop doing great just because someone doesn’t give you credit.

                                16. Discipline is doing what needs to be done, even if you don’t want to.

                                  17. Work while they sleep. Learn while they party. Save while they spend. Live like they dream.

                                    18. The key to success is to focus our conscious mind on things we desire, not things we fear.

                                      19. Never apologize for having high standards, people who really want to be in your life will rise to meet them.

                                        20. If it doesn’t challenge you, it won’t change you.

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                                          21. Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it, time will pass anyway.

                                            22. Don’t fear failure. Fear being in the exact same place next year as you are today.

                                              23. A hill is just another opportunity to leave your competition behind.

                                                24. Don’t quit. You’re already in pain. You’re already hurt. Get a reward from it.

                                                  25. Hustle until you no longer need to introduce yourself.

                                                    26. You didn’t come this far only to come this far.

                                                      27. Be selective in your battles for sometimes peace is better than being right.

                                                        28 If we keep doing what we are doing, we’re going to keep getting what we’re getting.

                                                          29. You will never know your limits until you push yourself to them.

                                                            30. Do what you have to do until you can do what you want to do.

                                                              31. The man on top of the mountain didn’t fall there.

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                                                                32. If your dreams don’t scare you, they are not big enough.

                                                                  33. If you can’t handle stress, you won’t manage success.

                                                                    34. Don’t be pushed by your problems, be led by your dreams.

                                                                      35. Don’t mistake silence for weakness. Smart people don’t plan big moves out loud.

                                                                        36. Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.

                                                                          37. Obsessed is the word the lazy use to describe dedicated.

                                                                            38. You become who you spend your time with.

                                                                              39. Be stubborn about your goals and flexible about your methods.

                                                                                40. Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard.

                                                                                  41. If you don’t build your dreams, someone else will hire you to build theirs.

                                                                                    42. Between stimulus and response is our greatest power –the freedom to choose.

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                                                                                      43. What comes easy won’t last, what lasts won’t come easy.

                                                                                        44. Don’t limit your challenges, challenge your limits.

                                                                                          45. Work until your idols become your rivals.

                                                                                            Quotes about money

                                                                                            46. Formal education will make you a living. Self-education will make you a fortune.

                                                                                              47. I create new enemies every day, it’s called business.

                                                                                                48. When you have a Million Dollar vision, don’t surround yourself with 1 cent minds.

                                                                                                  49. You can’t get rich thinking poor.

                                                                                                    50. Doing what is comfortable is rarely profitable.

                                                                                                      51. If you can count your money, work harder.

                                                                                                        If you find yourself feeling lost and frustrated, it’s never too late to change things up. Check out this guide:

                                                                                                        How to Start Over and Reboot Your Life When It Seems Too Late

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