Advertising
Advertising

Want To Break The Ice And Get Close To Someone Quickly? Try This Communication Hack

Want To Break The Ice And Get Close To Someone Quickly? Try This Communication Hack

We all have experienced it. That painful silence between us and someone we just met, when we feel like we have nothing to say and seconds seem to last forever, and the mind starts racing through thoughts, looking for a way to escape the awkwardness.

When we know how, breaking the ice and opening up the lines of communication don’t have to be hard, and it can be useful not just with colleagues but also with anyone who we’re just beginning to know.

Vulnerability Is The Key To Building Connection

In an attempt to be accepted by our social groups, we become more and more defensive and conservative when it comes to what we share with people, but research shows that the most important factor when it comes to building connection is vulnerability.

Advertising

As Brené Brown, a renown researcher in the field of vulnerability, courage, authenticity and shame, said in an interview with Dan Schawbel:

“The difficult thing is that vulnerability is the first thing I look for in you and the last thing I’m willing to show you. In you, it’s courage and daring. In me, it’s weakness.” [1]

So, a very simple way to inspire connection and closeness with someone is to be brave enough to show some vulnerability. How? A good way is, for example, to tell a personal story.

Advertising

Share A Personal Story To Get Close To Others

Trusting someone enough to share something personal, is an invitation to a closer relationship and it inspires trust, even more so than competence.[2]

Sure there are many different stories, and you probably don’t want to start your first Monday at work by telling about some of your most compromising behaviours. But sharing something meaningful from your personal sphere will contribute to starting to build a relationship.

In our humanness, experiencing life, it’s the stories we live and the opinions we have about what happens to us that makes us unique and special. So when we are not sharing our stories, we are missing the opportunity to find that which we have in common with others, to learn or teach something new, and to build a new connection.

Advertising

You May Feel Uncomfortable At First, But You Will Feel So Good Afterwards

It’s an essential part of our social nature to want to be accepted by the group. And no matter if you like or not the job (or the party), you still want to feel accepted because that’s in your nature and that’s what feels good.

But when you find the courage to defy the comfort of hiding in silence, it might be surprising to see how empowering it feels, and how much empathy it generates, to share a story that shows your vulnerability and struggle as a human being.

By doing this, not only we practising being more confident in our own voice, but we might also be casting a light into someone else’s problems. That practice can reinforce our core values, bring a sense peace and hope, and contribute to a greater success, not just in short conversations, but to life in general.[3]

Advertising

Nowadays, that we are more individualised than ever, and faced with the frequent changing of our social settings (like schools or jobs), getting closer to new people might not be comfortable, and trying to break the ice every day can turn into an added daily stress.

It certainly helps and makes life more enjoyable to have some level of closeness and friendship in our social environment, making every day a little more joyous.

So, next time you’re looking to make a connection, rather than playing safe, find the courage to be vulnerable and share a personal story. That courage, the courage to be real, is more inspiring than your feats.

Reference

More by this author

Ana Sofia Batista

Psychologist | Mentor | Writer | Yoga Teacher

This Quality Of Your Man Can Predict Whether Your Marriage Will Last Or Not Want To Break The Ice And Get Close To Someone Quickly? Try This Communication Hack If You Understand This Psychological Rule, You Can Motivate Yourself More Effectively

Trending in Communication

1 How to Live up to Your Full Potential and Succeed in Life 2 7 Public Speaking Techniques To Help Connect With Your Audience 3 5 Steps to Master Networking Skills and Perfect Your Personal Branding 4 The Real Causes of Lack of Energy That Go Beyond Your Physical Health 5 If You Think You’re in an Unhappy Marriage, Remember These 5 Things

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on December 2, 2018

7 Public Speaking Techniques To Help Connect With Your Audience

7 Public Speaking Techniques To Help Connect With Your Audience

When giving a presentation or speech, you have to engage your audience effectively in order to truly get your point across. Unlike a written editorial or newsletter, your speech is fleeting; once you’ve said everything you set out to say, you don’t get a second chance to have your voice heard in that specific arena.

You need to make sure your audience hangs on to every word you say, from your introduction to your wrap-up. You can do so by:

1. Connecting them with each other

Picture your typical rock concert. What’s the first thing the singer says to the crowd after jumping out on stage? “Hello (insert city name here)!” Just acknowledging that he’s coherent enough to know where he is is enough for the audience to go wild and get into the show.

Advertising

It makes each individual feel as if they’re a part of something bigger. The same goes for any public speaking event. When an audience hears, “You’re all here because you care deeply about wildlife preservation,” it gives them a sense that they’re not just there to listen, but they’re there to connect with the like-minded people all around them.

2. Connect with their emotions

Speakers always try to get their audience emotionally involved in whatever topic they’re discussing. There are a variety of ways in which to do this, such as using statistics, stories, pictures or videos that really show the importance of the topic at hand.

For example, showing pictures of the aftermath of an accident related to drunk driving will certainly send a specific message to an audience of teenagers and young adults. While doing so might be emotionally nerve-racking to the crowd, it may be necessary to get your point across and engage them fully.

Advertising

3. Keep going back to the beginning

Revisit your theme throughout your presentation. Although you should give your audience the credit they deserve and know that they can follow along, linking back to your initial thesis can act as a subconscious reminder of why what you’re currently telling them is important.

On the other hand, if you simply mention your theme or the point of your speech at the beginning and never mention it again, it gives your audience the impression that it’s not really that important.

4. Link to your audience’s motivation

After you’ve acknowledged your audience’s common interests in being present, discuss their motivation for being there. Be specific. Using the previous example, if your audience clearly cares about wildlife preservation, discuss what can be done to help save endangered species’ from extinction.

Advertising

Don’t just give them cold, hard facts; use the facts to make a point that they can use to better themselves or the world in some way.

5. Entertain them

While not all speeches or presentations are meant to be entertaining in a comedic way, audiences will become thoroughly engaged in anecdotes that relate to the overall theme of the speech. We discussed appealing to emotions, and that’s exactly what a speaker sets out to do when he tells a story from his past or that of a well-known historical figure.

Speakers usually tell more than one story in order to show that the first one they told isn’t simply an anomaly, and that whatever outcome they’re attempting to prove will consistently reoccur, given certain circumstances.

Advertising

6. Appeal to loyalty

Just like the musician mentioning the town he’s playing in will get the audience ready to rock, speakers need to appeal to their audience’s loyalty to their country, company, product or cause. Show them how important it is that they’re present and listening to your speech by making your words hit home to each individual.

In doing so, the members of your audience will feel as if you’re speaking directly to them while you’re addressing the entire crowd.

7. Tell them the benefits of the presentation

Early on in your presentation, you should tell your audience exactly what they’ll learn, and exactly how they’ll learn it. Don’t expect them to listen if they don’t have clear-cut information to listen for. On the other hand, if they know what to listen for, they’ll be more apt to stay engaged throughout your entire presentation so they don’t miss anything.

Featured photo credit: Flickr via farm4.staticflickr.com

Read Next