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4 Ways You Can Be Happy For Someone Experiencing Good Times When You’re Experiencing Hard Times

4 Ways You Can Be Happy For Someone Experiencing Good Times When You’re Experiencing Hard Times

You feel stuck. They get a promotion. You need a vacation. They book an all-inclusive. You get dumped. They get engaged. You long to be married, to have kids, to build your dream home, and they’re asking you to be their best man, to be Lexie’s Godparent, and to help them move.

Really? Could life pour any more salt on your open wounds?

We’ve all been there more times than we probably care to admit. We know that jealously that rears its ugly head. Try as you might, you just can’t seem to suppress it. You’re happy for them on the outside, but if you were brutally honest with yourself secretly deep down in your heart you’re not all that happy for them on the inside.

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You want to be. You have every intention of being sincere, and you muster every last drop of energy to say, “I’m so happy for you,” but let’s call a spade a spade.

The façade is cracked. The sadness of your current circumstances is seeping through your eyes. You’ve lost all inhibitions to stay strong.

So what does one do? Is it possible to have a genuinely smiling face and heart without wanting to launch mental grenades?

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Yes it is.

1. See the lessons you are learning.

There’s absolutely no limit to the amount of knowledge you can gain if you stay teachable. Life is the coolest university degree and it pours its limitless wealth of knowledge into those who study it. So go for it! Dissect your circumstances to see what your current challenges can teach you. Take notes! What can it hurt? You’re probably lying awake at night anyway, right?

2. Practice gratitude everyday.

Is that a aliché? Perhaps. But it’s a cliché for a reason.

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Focusing on what you do have as opposed to what you don’t is the most perspective-shifting thing you could ever do. It’s a discipline that should really be implemented when life is happy, so that when the hard times hit, the well-engrained habit will altar how you see your bad and cause you to ponder how bad your bad really is. I can think of no better celebratory bash than to host a farewell party for your own pity party.

3. Remind yourself of how far you’ve come.

You would never be where you are today without having gone through what you’ve gone through. It’s the power of your story. Those tough lessons taught you something valuable, and it’s important to go back from time to time to remind yourself of how far you’ve come.

Walk down the memory lane. Be proud of yourself. Revel in your hard work. Remind yourself of the lessons you have learned so far.

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Then allow those memories to serve as your reminder that your present challenges will one day be the future memories you will grow to understand and appreciate.

4. Remember that life recycles its seasons.

One day you’re laughing, the next day you’re crying, some days are easy, some days are hard, years come and years go. It’s the natural ebb and flow of life, there’s no denying that.

But beauty is found in owning the season you are in. Be present, be humble, learn, grow and take comfort in knowing that summer is always right around the corner from winter. For today, for the here and now, embrace not knowing. Embrace imperfection. Embrace uncertainty. Embrace growth. Embrace change.

And you know what’ll happen?

You’ll be too busy growing into a better version of yourself that you won’t even have to think about being happy for other people. You just will be. You’ll be so focused on appreciating your own journey, that you’ll naturally appreciate someone else’s. Your quiet confidence will be hard to deny.

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

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1. Listen

Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

“Why do you want to do that?”

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“What makes you so excited about it?”

“How long has that been your dream?”

You need this information the help you with the following steps.

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3. Encourage

This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

5. Dream

This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

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6. Ask How You Can Help

Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

7. Follow Up

Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

Final Thoughts

By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

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Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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