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4 Simple Steps To Deal With Disappointments

4 Simple Steps To Deal With Disappointments

You failed to close the business deal after all the hard work? Hit a rough patch in relationship and he or she left? Your friendship ends even though you’ve cared and cherished him or her all the time?

Inevitably, life throws a lemon to us and it makes us sour and heartbroken. Don’t let it drag you down. You don’t even need advice or tons of motivational books to pick yourself up. Here are four simple steps to deal with disappointments in life:

1. Release the pain

Cry, as hard as you want, as loud as you need. If you want to scream, go ahead. It’s okay to feel down. You don’t have to be strong all the time. Forget about looking at the bright side, be happy and so on. There’s no room for positivity now. You need to express all the sadness, anger and frustrations first. Remove them all. Leave no trace. I cried for days as I didn’t do well in my Electone exam.

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“There you go… let it all slide out. Unhappiness can’t stick in a person’s soul when it’s slick with tears.” – Shannon Hale

2. Gain some support

Finished crying? Now your heart may be empty. Get some love – whether it’s a hug or a pat on the shoulder. No one around? Hug your pet – or your pillow. After all, you don’t need any advice for now. Don’t try to settle anything. Just seek some comfort, something you can hold on to. Make yourself feel better first.

“Detach from needing to have things work out a certain way. The universe is perfect and there are no failures. Give yourself the gift of detaching from your worries and trust that everything is happening perfectly.” – Orin

3. Clear your mind

Take a walk. Look at nature. If you can, pack light and just go travel. Release yourself from all the expectations and allow yourself to breathe, relax and calm down. All you need is time and let things settle down naturally. They will. And remember not to blame or judge anyone, especially yourself. Instead, be kind to yourself. Heal.

“The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quite alone with the heavens, nature and God. Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be and that God wishes to see people happy, amidst the simple beauty of nature. As longs as this exists, and it certainly always will, I know that then there will always be comfort for every sorrow, whatever the circumstances may be. And I firmly believe that nature brings solace in all troubles.” – Anne Frank

4. Face your problems

Feeling better? It’s time to clear things up. This is important because if you fail to learn from the issues, it may become a boomerang and keeps coming back to you.

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Now write down your feelings. You can make a mind map too. The purpose is to have a fresh view on the big picture. Find out:

  • What made you feel frustrated?
  • What did you expect?
  • Why it didn’t work out?
  • Is it as bad as you think?
  • Is there anything you can do to fix it?
  • What are all the steps (details) that you need to take?

If you think there are still ways to resolve the situation, act immediately. On the other hand, if you think it’s out of your control, you will need to let it go, and take it as it is. Believe that you tried your best. If you didn’t, promise yourself to be alert and take a better approach next time. Here’s Tryon Edwards’s suggestion: “Right actions in the future are the best apologies for bad actions in the past.”

You see, sometimes life just doesn’t grant our wishes and turn out the way we liked. But always believe that, everything happens for a reason – a good reason. These experiences may look awful but they are precious. They help us to grow stronger, wiser, view things with a different perspective and learn to appreciate the things we have. They shape us to our better selves.

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It’s alright. Stand up, dust yourself off, embrace new days with hope!

Featured photo credit: Thinking by Creative Ignition via flic.kr

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Last Updated on November 5, 2018

8 Powerful Reasons to Love Your Enemies

8 Powerful Reasons to Love Your Enemies

We’ve all got our enemies; people who take pleasure in causing us pain and misery. Sometimes, the development of an enemy is due to certain differences in your characters and events have led to that. Other times, some people end up hating you for apparently no reason at all.

Regardless of how you got this enemy, as opposed to the paradigm of fighting fire with fire, consider the following reasons and see why you should actually appreciate your enemies. This article will show you not only how to not be bothered by your enemies, but how to actually foster love for them.

Read on to learn the secret.

1. It’s a practical lesson in anger management

To be honest, your enemies are the best people to help you understand your sense of anger management. When it might be true that your enemies have a way of bringing out the worst in you as regards anger, it is also true that they can help you in your quest to have that anger managed. You can’t get truly angry at someone you love and it is only in that time when you get truly annoyed that you learn how to manage it.

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Anger management is more effective when it is in practice and not in theory

Your enemies are like the therapists who you need, but actually don’t want. Inasmuch as you might want to hate them, they provide you an opportunity to control the anger impulse that you have.

2. It’s an opportunity for healthy competition

You might not know it, but your enemies make for great rivals as they help harness the competitor in you (sometimes, you might not even know or bee conversant with this competitive side until you come across an adversary). You get the right motivation to compete and this can go a long way to spur you to victory.

However, while doing so, it is also essential that you remember not to become a worse version of yourself while competing. Working against an adversary is tricky, and you need to ensure that you don’t cause harm to yourself or your morals in the process. Healthy competition is all you need to get out of this.

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3. Their negative comments can help you make a breakthrough

It is true that your enemies never really have much good to say about you. However, in as much as they might be talking out of a place of hate, there might be some truth to what they’re saying.

To wit, whenever you hear something mean or nasty from an enemy, you might want to take a step back and evaluate yourself. There is a chance that what this enemy is saying is true and coming to face that fact is a major step in helping you to become a better person overall. This is another testament to the fact that enemies can be therapists in their own way.

4. Enemies can also be powerful allies

Loving your enemies can also mean making an effort to interact and make peace with them. In the end, if you are able to establish some common ground and patch things up, you’ll have succeeded in making another friend. And who doesn’t need friends?

This can also help you in working with people in the long run. You get to hone your inter-personal skills, and that can be a big plus to your ledger.

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5. It gives you the ability to realize positivity

In a multitude of negativity, a speck of positivity always seems to find its way through.

Sometimes, a knowledge of the fact that you have enemies will also help you to focus on the many positives and good things that are in your life. A lot of times, we neglect what really matters in life. This can be due to being overly concerned with the enemies we have.

However, it is also possible for this acknowledgement to spur you to take a step back and appreciate the goo things (and people who surround you).

6. There might just be a misunderstanding

Sometimes, the reason why you have an enemy might be something very innocuous. You might not have known the cause of this fractured relationship and your enemy will help complete the picture.

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Simply approaching them will help you to understand the reason for the fracture. This, in turn, can help you to work towards healing your relationship moving forward. Misunderstandings happen, and you need to be able to work around them.

7. You learn to appreciate love as well

A constant reminder of the fact that there are enemies will also help you not to take those who love you for granted. Love and hate are two opposing emotions and it is possible for one to momentarily overshadow the other.

However, while you’ll always have enemies, there will also always be people who love you. These people need to be appreciated for what they do for you. Never let the hate projected to you from your enemies take the place of that.

8. Do you really need the hate?

The truth is that enemies bring only toxic emotions and generate bad reactions from you. If you’re truly to live a prosperous life, you can’t really be carrying all this baggage around.

Hate is bad and you should try all you can to get rid of it. It is a well-known fact that nobody can get really far in life while carrying a lot of emotional baggage. Well, hate is the biggest form of emotional baggage there is.

Featured photo credit: rawpixel via unsplash.com

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