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4 Simple Steps To Deal With Disappointments

4 Simple Steps To Deal With Disappointments

You failed to close the business deal after all the hard work? Hit a rough patch in relationship and he or she left? Your friendship ends even though you’ve cared and cherished him or her all the time?

Inevitably, life throws a lemon to us and it makes us sour and heartbroken. Don’t let it drag you down. You don’t even need advice or tons of motivational books to pick yourself up. Here are four simple steps to deal with disappointments in life:

1. Release the pain

Cry, as hard as you want, as loud as you need. If you want to scream, go ahead. It’s okay to feel down. You don’t have to be strong all the time. Forget about looking at the bright side, be happy and so on. There’s no room for positivity now. You need to express all the sadness, anger and frustrations first. Remove them all. Leave no trace. I cried for days as I didn’t do well in my Electone exam.

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“There you go… let it all slide out. Unhappiness can’t stick in a person’s soul when it’s slick with tears.” – Shannon Hale

2. Gain some support

Finished crying? Now your heart may be empty. Get some love – whether it’s a hug or a pat on the shoulder. No one around? Hug your pet – or your pillow. After all, you don’t need any advice for now. Don’t try to settle anything. Just seek some comfort, something you can hold on to. Make yourself feel better first.

“Detach from needing to have things work out a certain way. The universe is perfect and there are no failures. Give yourself the gift of detaching from your worries and trust that everything is happening perfectly.” – Orin

3. Clear your mind

Take a walk. Look at nature. If you can, pack light and just go travel. Release yourself from all the expectations and allow yourself to breathe, relax and calm down. All you need is time and let things settle down naturally. They will. And remember not to blame or judge anyone, especially yourself. Instead, be kind to yourself. Heal.

“The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quite alone with the heavens, nature and God. Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be and that God wishes to see people happy, amidst the simple beauty of nature. As longs as this exists, and it certainly always will, I know that then there will always be comfort for every sorrow, whatever the circumstances may be. And I firmly believe that nature brings solace in all troubles.” – Anne Frank

4. Face your problems

Feeling better? It’s time to clear things up. This is important because if you fail to learn from the issues, it may become a boomerang and keeps coming back to you.

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Now write down your feelings. You can make a mind map too. The purpose is to have a fresh view on the big picture. Find out:

  • What made you feel frustrated?
  • What did you expect?
  • Why it didn’t work out?
  • Is it as bad as you think?
  • Is there anything you can do to fix it?
  • What are all the steps (details) that you need to take?

If you think there are still ways to resolve the situation, act immediately. On the other hand, if you think it’s out of your control, you will need to let it go, and take it as it is. Believe that you tried your best. If you didn’t, promise yourself to be alert and take a better approach next time. Here’s Tryon Edwards’s suggestion: “Right actions in the future are the best apologies for bad actions in the past.”

You see, sometimes life just doesn’t grant our wishes and turn out the way we liked. But always believe that, everything happens for a reason – a good reason. These experiences may look awful but they are precious. They help us to grow stronger, wiser, view things with a different perspective and learn to appreciate the things we have. They shape us to our better selves.

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It’s alright. Stand up, dust yourself off, embrace new days with hope!

Featured photo credit: Thinking by Creative Ignition via flic.kr

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

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1. Listen

Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

“Why do you want to do that?”

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“What makes you so excited about it?”

“How long has that been your dream?”

You need this information the help you with the following steps.

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3. Encourage

This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

5. Dream

This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

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6. Ask How You Can Help

Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

7. Follow Up

Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

Final Thoughts

By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

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Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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