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4 Simple Steps To Deal With Disappointments

4 Simple Steps To Deal With Disappointments

You failed to close the business deal after all the hard work? Hit a rough patch in relationship and he or she left? Your friendship ends even though you’ve cared and cherished him or her all the time?

Inevitably, life throws a lemon to us and it makes us sour and heartbroken. Don’t let it drag you down. You don’t even need advice or tons of motivational books to pick yourself up. Here are four simple steps to deal with disappointments in life:

1. Release the pain

Cry, as hard as you want, as loud as you need. If you want to scream, go ahead. It’s okay to feel down. You don’t have to be strong all the time. Forget about looking at the bright side, be happy and so on. There’s no room for positivity now. You need to express all the sadness, anger and frustrations first. Remove them all. Leave no trace. I cried for days as I didn’t do well in my Electone exam.

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“There you go… let it all slide out. Unhappiness can’t stick in a person’s soul when it’s slick with tears.” – Shannon Hale

2. Gain some support

Finished crying? Now your heart may be empty. Get some love – whether it’s a hug or a pat on the shoulder. No one around? Hug your pet – or your pillow. After all, you don’t need any advice for now. Don’t try to settle anything. Just seek some comfort, something you can hold on to. Make yourself feel better first.

“Detach from needing to have things work out a certain way. The universe is perfect and there are no failures. Give yourself the gift of detaching from your worries and trust that everything is happening perfectly.” – Orin

3. Clear your mind

Take a walk. Look at nature. If you can, pack light and just go travel. Release yourself from all the expectations and allow yourself to breathe, relax and calm down. All you need is time and let things settle down naturally. They will. And remember not to blame or judge anyone, especially yourself. Instead, be kind to yourself. Heal.

“The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quite alone with the heavens, nature and God. Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be and that God wishes to see people happy, amidst the simple beauty of nature. As longs as this exists, and it certainly always will, I know that then there will always be comfort for every sorrow, whatever the circumstances may be. And I firmly believe that nature brings solace in all troubles.” – Anne Frank

4. Face your problems

Feeling better? It’s time to clear things up. This is important because if you fail to learn from the issues, it may become a boomerang and keeps coming back to you.

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Now write down your feelings. You can make a mind map too. The purpose is to have a fresh view on the big picture. Find out:

  • What made you feel frustrated?
  • What did you expect?
  • Why it didn’t work out?
  • Is it as bad as you think?
  • Is there anything you can do to fix it?
  • What are all the steps (details) that you need to take?

If you think there are still ways to resolve the situation, act immediately. On the other hand, if you think it’s out of your control, you will need to let it go, and take it as it is. Believe that you tried your best. If you didn’t, promise yourself to be alert and take a better approach next time. Here’s Tryon Edwards’s suggestion: “Right actions in the future are the best apologies for bad actions in the past.”

You see, sometimes life just doesn’t grant our wishes and turn out the way we liked. But always believe that, everything happens for a reason – a good reason. These experiences may look awful but they are precious. They help us to grow stronger, wiser, view things with a different perspective and learn to appreciate the things we have. They shape us to our better selves.

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It’s alright. Stand up, dust yourself off, embrace new days with hope!

Featured photo credit: Thinking by Creative Ignition via flic.kr

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Last Updated on September 17, 2019

10 Simple Ways To Always Think Positive Thoughts

10 Simple Ways To Always Think Positive Thoughts

Positive thinking can lead to a lot of positive change in your life. Developing an optimistic outlook can be good for both your physical and mental health.

But sometimes, certain situations arise in life that makes it hard to keep a positive outlook. Take steps to make positive thinking become more like your second nature and you’ll reap the biggest benefits.

Here are 10 ways to make thinking positive thoughts easy:

1. Spend Time with Positive People

If you surround yourself with constant complainers, their negativity is likely to rub off on you.

Spend time with positive friends and family members to increase the likelihood that their positive thinking habits will become yours too. It’s hard to be negative when everyone around you is so positive.

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2. Take Responsibility for Your Behavior

When you encounter problems and difficulties in life, don’t play the role of the victim. Acknowledge your role in the situation and take responsibility for your behavior.

Accepting responsibility can help you learn from mistakes and prevent you from blaming others unfairly.

3. Contribute to the Community

One of the best ways to feel good about what you have, is to focus on what you have to give.

Volunteer in some manner and give back to the community. Helping others can give you a new outlook on the world and can assist you with positive thinking.

4. Read Positive and Inspirational Materials

Spend time each day reading something that encourages positive thinking. Read the Bible, spiritual material, or inspirational quotes to help you focus on what’s important to you in life. It can be a great way to start and end your day.

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Some recommendations for you:

5. Recognize and Replace Negative Thoughts

You won’t be successful at positive thinking if you’re still plagued by frequent negative thoughts. Learn to recognize and replace thoughts that are overly negative. Often, thoughts that include words like “always” and “never” signal that they aren’t true.

If you find yourself thinking something such as, “I always mess everything up,” replace it with something more realistic such as, “Sometimes I make mistakes but I learn from them.”

There’s no need to make your thoughts unrealistically positive, but instead, make them more realistic.

6. Establish and Work Toward Goals

It’s easier to be positive about problems and setbacks when you have goals that you’re working toward. Goals will give you motivation to overcome those obstacles when you encounter problems along the way. Without clear goals, it’s harder to make decisions and gauge your progress.

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Learn to set SMART goals to help you achieve more.

7. Consider the Consequences of Negativity

Spend some time thinking about the consequences of negative thinking. Often, it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

For example, a person who thinks, “I probably won’t get this job interview,” may put less effort into the interview. As a result, he may decrease his chances of getting the job.

Create a list of all the ways negative thinking impacts your life. It likely influences your behavior, your relationships, and your feelings. Then, create a list of the ways in which positive thinking could be beneficial.

8. Offer Compliments to Others

Look for reasons to compliment others. Be genuine in your praise and compliments, but offer it frequently. This will help you look for the good in other people.

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9. Create a Daily Gratitude List

If you start keeping a daily gratitude list, you’ll start noticing exactly how much you have to be thankful for. This can help you focus on the positive in your life instead of thinking about all the bad things that have happened in the day.

Getting in the habit of showing an attitude of gratitude makes positive thinking more of a habit. Here’re 40 Simple Ways To Practice Gratitude.

10. Practice Self-Care

Take good care of yourself and you’ll be more equipped to think positively.

Get plenty of rest and exercise and practice managing your stress well. Taking care of your physical and mental health will provide you with more energy to focus on positive thinking.

Learn about these 30 Self-Care Habits for a Strong and Healthy Mind, Body and Spirit.

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Featured photo credit: DESIGNECOLOGIST via unsplash.com

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