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34 Most Difficult Things You Have To Learn In Your 20s

34 Most Difficult Things You Have To Learn In Your 20s

When you’re a 20 something, you know you need to be mature because you’ve grown up. You’re seen as an adult, not a kid any more. It’s reality, and you really should face it. The faster you learn the most difficult life lessons, the sooner you can lead a great and successful life. Rich Tatum shared the most difficult things he wished he knew when he was 20 on quora:

  1. Love hurts, but not as much as not loving.
  2. The friendships you nurture will have a greater effect on your life than where you work or what you earn.
  3. You are not your job. You are not your bankroll. You are not the sum of your possessions.
  4. The company does not love you. It has no heart. You are replaceable. Keep your parachute handy.
  5. Few decisions will ever shape your future life more than who you choose to marry. To marry well, you must choose well.
  6. Love is a commitment.
  7. Believe it or not, passions grow out of your values. Make early, wise choices to value what (and who) is good, trustworthy, and praiseworthy.
  8. Integrity preserved is honor won.
  9. Rejoice in your health. It fades fast.
  10. Find a passion. Pick a hobby, own it: photography, juggling—whatever. Get your 10K hours of perfect practice in early and change your life.
  11. Don’t bother comparing yourself to others—this only leads to heartbreak, anger, and disappointment.
  12. Most disappointments grow from unmet expectations. Set realistic expectations for yourself, based on your strengths, then strive to exceed them.
  13. Don’t drive others to meet expectations they’ve committed to — lead, inspire, and help them do it.
  14. Don’t set expectations for others when they haven’t or cannot commit to them.
  15. Don’t complain. Either change your situation, learn to cope, or change your perspective.
  16. Don’t worry about making big bucks out of the gate, worry first about doing whatever you have to do excellently.
  17. Little stuff matters—even in lowly jobs. The boss notices and even if not, your peers and colleagues do.
  18. Ultimately, privacy is a myth: God sees everything. The cloud records everything. NSA files everything. So, live transparently and don’t waste useless energy hiding failures.
  19. Don’t look down on others because they don’t have what you didn’t earn—your intellect, your beauty, and your culture of birth are undeserved gifts…be humble.
  20. Failure is an opportunity: no great man or woman ever achieved significance without great failures to learn from.
  21. Never withhold an apology when it’s merited. Deliver it quickly, sincerely, and personally—before resentment festers.
  22. You don’t need to nurture old guilt when you’re forgiven. But remembering the shame can help you avoid repeats.
  23. Mere belief in anything signifies little more than assent. It’s trust and behavior that reveal where convictions lie.
  24. The main thing you need to do quickly is to stop doing things quickly. Trade hurry for calm, confidence, and precision.
  25. Everybody needs an editor. Everybody.
  26. Get your work done first so you can play without guilt. Even better, make work play and the fun never ends!
  27. If you want to develop your passion and gift, stop worrying about the things you do poorly. Go with your strengths!
  28. Avoid fights. Seriously. Avoid them like a plague: nobody wins in a fight, even if you walk away unscathed. But when a fight picks you, leave everything on the mat and give it your all. Hold nothing back.
  29. If you’re bored, you’re doing it wrong.
  30. The skills that will help your career most are the abilities to assimilate, communicate, and persuade. Keep learning.
  31. Nothing in this life—no pain, no agony, no failure—compares to the eternal joy of Heaven. Live in light of eternity.
  32. Protect your joy. Nothing is easier to lose by over-thinking, overanalyzing, and second-guessing. On the other hand, always consider the long-term consequences of your choices: stupid decisions made in the moment can rob you of years of joy and happiness.
  33. Your purpose in life determines how you frame events. You can maintain your joy in the most dire circumstances if you find meaning for your life. Dig deep.
  34. It truly matters what you think about. Think well by reading good books, building good, loving relationships, having good conversation, and imitating great people.

I’m still learning — in fact I haven’t fully appreciated most of the list I made, myself. And I’m still adding to it. But I’m getting better.

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Featured photo credit: Multiracial Young People Holding Hands in a Circle via shutterstock.com

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Anna Chui

Anna is a communication expert and a life enthusiast. She's the editor of Lifehack and loves to write about love, life, and passion.

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Last Updated on August 12, 2019

13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do

13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do

Mentally strong people have healthy habits. They manage their emotions, thoughts, and behaviors in ways that set them up for success in life.

Take a look at these 13 things that mentally strong people don’t do so that you too can become mentally stronger.

1. They Don’t Waste Time Feeling Sorry for Themselves

Mentally strong people don’t sit around feeling sorry about their circumstances or how others have treated them. Instead, they take responsibility for their role in life and understand that life isn’t always easy or fair.

2. They Don’t Give Away Their Power

They don’t allow others to control them, and they don’t give someone else power over them. They don’t say things like, “My boss makes me feel bad,” because they understand that they are in control over their own emotions and they have a choice in how they respond.

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3. They Don’t Shy Away from Change

Mentally strong people don’t try to avoid change. Instead, they welcome positive change and are willing to be flexible. They understand that change is inevitable and believe in their abilities to adapt.

4. They Don’t Waste Energy on Things They Can’t Control

You won’t hear a mentally strong person complaining over lost luggage or traffic jams. Instead, they focus on what they can control in their lives. They recognize that sometimes, the only thing they can control is their attitude.

5. They Don’t Worry About Pleasing Everyone

Mentally strong people recognize that they don’t need to please everyone all the time. They’re not afraid to say no or speak up when necessary. They strive to be kind and fair, but can handle other people being upset if they didn’t make them happy.

6. They Don’t Fear Taking Calculated Risks

They don’t take reckless or foolish risks, but don’t mind taking calculated risks. Mentally strong people spend time weighing the risks and benefits before making a big decision, and they’re fully informed of the potential downsides before they take action.

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7. They Don’t Dwell on the Past

Mentally strong people don’t waste time dwelling on the past and wishing things could be different. They acknowledge their past and can say what they’ve learned from it.

However, they don’t constantly relive bad experiences or fantasize about the glory days. Instead, they live for the present and plan for the future.

8. They Don’t Make the Same Mistakes Over and Over

Mentally strong people accept responsibility for their behavior and learn from their past mistakes. As a result, they don’t keep repeating those mistakes over and over. Instead, they move on and make better decisions in the future.

9. They Don’t Resent Other People’s Success

Mentally strong people can appreciate and celebrate other people’s success in life. They don’t grow jealous or feel cheated when others surpass them. Instead, they recognize that success comes with hard work, and they are willing to work hard for their own chance at success.

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10. They Don’t Give Up After the First Failure

Mentally strong people don’t view failure as a reason to give up. Instead, they use failure as an opportunity to grow and improve. They are willing to keep trying until they get it right.

11. They Don’t Fear Alone Time

Mentally strong people can tolerate being alone and they don’t fear silence. They aren’t afraid to be alone with their thoughts and they can use downtime to be productive.

They enjoy their own company and aren’t dependent on others for companionship and entertainment all the time but instead can be happy alone.

12. They Don’t Feel the World Owes Them Anything

Mentally strong people don’t feel entitled to things in life. They weren’t born with a mentality that others would take care of them or that the world must give them something. Instead, they look for opportunities based on their own merits.

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13. They Don’t Expect Immediate Results

Whether they are working on improving their health or getting a new business off the ground, mentally strong people don’t expect immediate results. Instead, they apply their skills and time to the best of their ability and understand that real change takes time.

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Featured photo credit: Candice Picard via unsplash.com

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