“Sister.She is your mirror, shining back at you with a world of possibilities. She is your witness, who sees you at your worst and best, and loves you anyway. She is your partner in crime, your midnight companion, someone who knows when you are smiling, even in the dark. She is your teacher, your defense attorney, your personal press agent, even your shrink. Some days, she’s the reason you wish you were an only child.
~ Barbara Alpert.Advertising
I am very privileged to have always had a very close relationship with my sister. I have a number of best friends, some have been my best friends for over 30 years and I love them dearly. My sister, however is “my best friend ever” .Isadora James describes exactly how I feel about our relationship, she quotes;
” A sister is a gift to the heart, a friend to the spirit, a golden thread to the meaning of life”
What makes the relationship so special and why my sister is my best friend ever is, because she is my connection to my past, my present and future. We have so many shared memories and she treasures every one of those memories as much as I do. When I look ahead to the future I see my sister by my side no matter what life path I choose and I am known to be susceptible to choosing many different paths!
So what makes my sister my best friend ever? Well, here are 30 things that my sister knows about me which explains exactly why she is my best friend ever. I am sure that if you have a close relationship with your sister she too will know pretty much the same 30 things about you which of course makes her “your best friend ever”.Advertising
Can I also just say that some of the 30 things my sister knows about me, nobody else does – so it is kind of scary declaring to the world and if you are reading this and you are my best friend, brother or husband remember I love you dearly! Please do not use this information against me.This list is not ranked in any order of priority, its just random.
- My sister knows my secrets from the past and right up to the present. She was 2 years old and I was eight when I first started telling her my secrets
- She knows my full potential, she knows exactly what I can achieve and has 100% belief in me
- She has a special nickname for me and when she calls me ##### (can’t quite tell that to the world just yet….maybe later)…that makes me feel special
- She knows how much I love her
- She knows that when she was born I loved her however I was also prepared to sell her
- My sister knows that when we go out for dinner I will want to share an entree and dessert with her and that I will pick food off her plate while she is eating and she is ok with that because she does the same. Everybody else gets really annoyed and we cant figure out what the problem is!
- She knows what embarrassing stories to tell about me and has told those stories at my 40th, my 50th birthday and wedding
- She knows what clothes I like and what looks good on me or what doesn’t. We often end up dressing in very similar outfits and then we have to flip a coin as to who has to go and change
- She knows why I am short and she is tall – I am short like my grandmother and she is tall like my mum (she loves telling that to everyone). My lack of statue also relates to the nick name she has for me.
- She is the one person in my life who I can be totally myself – no pretence
- My sister is my connection to my childhood memories and to the memory of our parents – we just need to look at each other and we go back to the time of our childhood and growing up on the farm.
- She knows not to look bored or get that glazed look when I reminisce about the good times in my past – which is often
- She has seen me very intoxicated and has never judged me or made me feel bad. She knows how bad I will feel the next morning. Once when I tripped (it was the carpet) and broke a number of wine glasses in a very expensive restaurant she calmly got me in a taxi took me home and has never mentioned the incident again!
- She knows what I think about the rest of the family – the good, bad and ugly
- She knows that she is the only one person that can moan to me about how annoying our family really are. No one else can do that, just her.
- She knows the right thing to say when I am feeling anxious, scared or fearful
- She always knows exactly what presents to give me and she always takes time to think about what the perfect gift is for me.
- My sister knows that I could ask her to do anything for me (even if it was illegal) and she would do it
- She notices and knows everything that is not so great about me, particularly the physical aspects happening for me at the time, and she will comment on them, such as having lots of pimples, looking too pale, losing too much weight, putting on too much weight etc.
- She knows she is the only one who can make a not very complimentary comment to me and won’t worry at all about what my response will be. She has already moved on.
- My sister knows that I hate all the yucky photos of me, however she somehow has managed to get them all and takes great delight in laughing and pointing out how ridiculous I looked
- My sister knows my pain and unbearable suffering at the sudden loss of our parents, because she too experienced the same pain and unbearable suffering – together we have managed to slowly recover.
- My sister knows that I trust her completely and that if my husband and I died, she would love and protect our children with her life.
- My sister knows (well she will now) that I admire and respect her immensely for her incredible determination, her intelligence, her focus and commitment to whatever task or project she sets for herself. She has amazing willpower which at times can be seen as being very stubborn – she just does not give up.
- Best friends will tread very carefully when they are giving feedback or offering an opinion to me, but not my sister, she knows exactly what needs to be said. She will point out all my faults and offer her opinions on how I should parent, save money, deal with my husband, lose weight etc. I also know that she loves me unconditionally no matter what I do, so I listen, breathe deeply and then smile.
- My sister knows that she has a memory like an elephant and when I tell stories from our childhood or family stories she will correct me if I get it wrong. She remembers everything and also knows what bits of the story I will leave out ( because it is not relevant to me) before I do and she will fill in the gaps! She is always right!
- My sister knows and shares the same values as me and that makes us very aligned in our thinking especially when we feel personally challenged by others.
- My sister knows that I can be unpredictable, fickle, fearful and at times painful and she is okay with it
- My sister knows how important my dream is to be a writer, speaker and coach and she is there 100%, supporting, coaching and encouraging me on my journey. To her, living my dream life is totally achievable and very realistic for me- its a no brainer from her perspective. She keeps telling me to “just get on with it”.
- My sister is my best friend ever because she knows what makes me happy and she always thinks about how she can support me to be the best person I can be and to live a happy fulfilled rewarding life.
Its a funny thing when I first started writing this article I thought wow 30 things is a lot to come up with in regard to what my sister knows about me. However now that I have completed the 30 things she knows about me, I actually have more….maybe I will leave them for another time.Advertising
“When sisters stand shoulder to shoulder, who stands a chance against us?” ~Pam Brown
Featured photo credit: two young women sitting on grass having good time via shutterstock.comAdvertising
Last Updated on February 11, 2021
Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating
How often have you said something simple, only to have the person who you said this to misunderstand it or twist the meaning completely around? Nodding your head in affirmative? Then this means that you are being unclear in your communication.
Communication should be simple, right? It’s all about two people or more talking and explaining something to the other. The problem lies in the talking itself, somehow we end up being unclear, and our words, attitude or even the way of talking becomes a barrier in communication, most of the times unknowingly. We give you six common barriers to communication, and how to get past them; for you to actually say what you mean, and or the other person to understand it as well…
The 6 Walls You Need to Break Down to Make Communication Effective
Think about it this way, a simple phrase like “what do you mean” can be said in many different ways and each different way would end up “communicating” something else entirely. Scream it at the other person, and the perception would be anger. Whisper this is someone’s ear and others may take it as if you were plotting something. Say it in another language, and no one gets what you mean at all, if they don’t speak it… This is what we mean when we say that talking or saying something that’s clear in your head, many not mean that you have successfully communicated it across to your intended audience – thus what you say and how, where and why you said it – at times become barriers to communication.
The moment you say something in a confrontational, sarcastic, angry or emotional tone, you have set up perceptual barriers to communication. The other person or people to whom you are trying to communicate your point get the message that you are disinterested in what you are saying and sort of turn a deaf ear. In effect, you are yelling your point across to person who might as well be deaf!
The problem: When you have a tone that’s not particularly positive, a body language that denotes your own disinterest in the situation and let your own stereotypes and misgivings enter the conversation via the way you talk and gesture, the other person perceives what you saying an entirely different manner than say if you said the same while smiling and catching their gaze.
The solution: Start the conversation on a positive note, and don’t let what you think color your tone, gestures of body language. Maintain eye contact with your audience, and smile openly and wholeheartedly…
Some people, if you would excuse the language, are simply badass and in general are unable to form relationships or even a common point of communication with others, due to their habit of thinking to highly or too lowly of them. They basically have an attitude problem – since they hold themselves in high esteem, they are unable to form genuine lines of communication with anyone. The same is true if they think too little of themselves as well.
The problem: If anyone at work, or even in your family, tends to roam around with a superior air – anything they say is likely to be taken by you and the others with a pinch, or even a bag of salt. Simply because whenever they talk, the first thing to come out of it is their condescending attitude. And in case there’s someone with an inferiority complex, their incessant self-pity forms barriers to communication.
The solution: Use simple words and an encouraging smile to communicate effectively – and stick to constructive criticism, and not criticism because you are a perfectionist. If you see someone doing a good job, let them know, and disregard the thought that you could have done it better. It’s their job so measure them by industry standards and not your own.
This is perhaps the commonest and the most inadvertent of barriers to communication. Using big words, too much of technical jargon or even using just the wrong language at the incorrect or inopportune time can lead to a loss or misinterpretation of communication. It may have sounded right in your head and to your ears as well, but if sounded gobbledygook to the others, the purpose is lost.
The problem: Say you are trying to explain a process to the newbies and end up using every technical word and industry jargon that you knew – your communication has failed if the newbie understood zilch. You have to, without sounding patronizing, explain things to someone in the simplest language they understand instead of the most complex that you do.
The solution: Simplify things for the other person to understand you, and understand it well. Think about it this way: if you are trying to explain something scientific to a child, you tone it down to their thinking capacity, without “dumbing” anything down in the process.
Sometimes, we hesitate in opening our mouths, for fear of putting our foot in it! Other times, our emotional state is so fragile that we keep it and our lips zipped tightly together lest we explode. This is the time that our emotions become barriers to communication.
The problem: Say you had a fight at home and are on a slow boil, muttering, in your head, about the injustice of it all. At this time, you have to give someone a dressing down over their work performance. You are likely to transfer at least part of your angst to the conversation then, and talk about unfairness in general, leaving the other person stymied about what you actually meant!
The solution: Remove your emotions and feelings to a personal space, and talk to the other person as you normally would. Treat any phobias or fears that you have and nip them in the bud so that they don’t become a problem. And remember, no one is perfect.
Sometimes, being in an ever-shrinking world means that inadvertently, rules can make cultures clash and cultural clashes can turn into barriers to communication. The idea is to make your point across without hurting anyone’s cultural or religious sentiments.
The problem: There are so many ways culture clashes can happen during communication and with cultural clashes; it’s not always about ethnicity. A non-smoker may have problems with smokers taking breaks; an older boss may have issues with younger staff using the Internet too much.
The solution: Communicate only what is necessary to get the point across – and eave your personal sentiments or feelings out of it. Try to be accommodative of the other’s viewpoint, and in case you still need to work it out, do it one to one, to avoid making a spectacle of the other person’s beliefs.
Finally, it’s about Men from Mars and Women from Venus. Sometimes, men don’t understand women and women don’t get men – and this gender gap throws barriers in communication. Women tend to take conflict to their graves, literally, while men can move on instantly. Women rely on intuition, men on logic – so inherently, gender becomes a big block in successful communication.
The problem: A male boss may inadvertently rub his female subordinates the wrong way with anti-feminism innuendoes, or even have problems with women taking too many family leaves. Similarly, women sometimes let their emotions get the better of them, something a male audience can’t relate to.
The solution: Talk to people like people – don’t think or classify them into genders and then talk accordingly. Don’t make comments or innuendos that are gender biased – you don’t have to come across as an MCP or as a bra-burning feminist either. Keep gender out of it.
And remember, the key to successful communication is simply being open, making eye contact and smiling intermittently. The battle is usually half won when you say what you mean in simple, straightforward words and keep your emotions out of it.
|||^||Skills You Need: Barriers To Communication|
|||^||Reference: Perceptual Barrier Communication|
|||^||Chron: Attitudinal Barriers to Communication|
|||^||Guides: Overcoming Language Barriers|
|||^||Let’s Live: Emotional Barrier|
|||^||Businesstopia: Cultural Barrier Communication|
|||^||Guides: The Seven Barriers of Communication|