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30 Things Only An Only Child Would Understand

30 Things Only An Only Child Would Understand

Due largely to the rising costs of raising children, single child families are on the rise in America and other developed nations, with some 18% of families in the U.S. having only one child, a figure which has doubled in the last 30 years. This means that more children in this generation will experience the joys and challenges of being raised in what comedian John Hodgman affectionately calls the “super-smart, ultra-shy narcissist club.” As an only child myself, here are 30 things that I know to be true about growing up solo.

1. We don’t all match the stereotype

We have heard it all before, only children are spoiled rotten little brats… well, guess what, so are a lot of you “normal” people, and you don’t hear us complaining about it all the time. Not all of us are completely self-obsessed.

2. We prefer to avoid conflict

We didn’t grow up with a sibling to torment or to be tormented by and are therefore naturally averse to peer conflict.

3. We are often voracious readers

Without the existence of a built-in familial playmate, we had to find other ways to occupy our time and add some people, albeit imaginary, into the cast of characters in our lives.

4. We love to hang out with big families

In much the same way that a visit to the country is an exciting and novel adventure for a city dweller, observing the dynamics and inner-workings of a large family is enjoyable for only children.

5. We tend to be closer to our friends

We treat our friends like the brothers and sisters that we never had. We are not satisfied with casual acquaintances, we want the talk-for-hours-on-the-phone-every-day type of buddy.

6. We don’t mind being alone

Have you ever seen someone eating at a restaurant or going to a movie by themselves. Guess what, they are probably having a great time, ordering or watching whatever they want. Only children are completely comfortable being alone.

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7. We like having people in the background

Growing up, one of my favorite things to do was invite a bunch of people over my house and then hang out by myself in another room, reading or writing. While this may seem like extremely anti-social behavior, I simply enjoyed having people in the background that I didn’t need to directly interact with.

8. We are old souls

As the majority of our interactions outside of school are with adults, we tend to be a little more mature than our peers and, as such, we act older than our age.

9. We know exactly why we are only children

Every only child eventually gets “the talk” where our parents explain to us why they didn’t provide us with a sibling. In my case, I was a late in life, accidental birth. The whole conversation feels like an apology. It’s awkward.

10. We had imaginary friends

In fact, our imaginary friends had imaginary friends. We crafted elaborate narrative exchanges with these figments of our overactive imaginations and had a great time doing it.

11. We are less prone to PDA

We didn’t grow up being constantly touched and, as such, we tend to be a little more reserved with our public displays of affection.

12. We are less likely to want kids of our own

We do not have fond memories of our siblings growing up alongside us, so we are not inherently drawn to recreating those times.

13. We are a little sensitive

We didn’t grow up being ribbed and constantly picked on. We never built up the emotional callouses needed to live in such a cruel world, so we are often a little sensitive.

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14. We are not likely to throw a punch

…but we often wonder what it would be like to get into a real fist fight.

15. People automatically think we are weird

Telling people that you are an only child is like saying you were raised in a cult, you get a range of looks in response, that span the gap from mildly surprised to outright disgusted.

16. We are not great at sharing

Our things are our things and our food is our food. We didn’t grow up having to share and are therefore not very good at it.

17. We are drawn to other only children

Three of my closest friends are also only children. It’s a little like a private club.

18. We think we are the atypical case

Regarding those three close friends, I feel very strongly that they are all much more stereotypical “only children” than I am.

19. We are obsessive

Without the distractions that siblings provide, we tend to get deep into our hobbies.

20. We are always trying to please our parents

This carries on well into adulthood. We feel a deep need to make our parents proud, mostly because we were our parent’s sole concern for the entirety of our formative years.

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21. We love attention

We grow up never having to fight for attention, in fact, we probably received a little too much of it over the years. We are used to being the focal point in social interactions and that is not an easy thing to give up.

22. We talk to ourselves

And sometimes the conversations are pretty engaging.

23. We have overbearing parents

It’s not their fault, we are all they have, so it is only natural that they would become a little controlling.

24. We are a little bummed out that we won’t be aunts and uncles

Unless we marry into such a situation, we will never have a little niece or nephew to spoil.

25. We don’t always play well with others

Only children sometimes have difficulty operating as part of a team because they did not engage in the same type of group play that other kids did.

26. We don’t always remember our childhoods accurately

We lack a secondary record of our childhood. We have no one to ask if the exaggerated version of events that exist in our heads actually happened.

27. We used to pretend we had older siblings

Mine was a globetrotting college-aged sister with red hair and a fancy car… I genuinely have no idea why.

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28. We are not competitive

We often lack the overwhelming desire, that so many have, to turn mundane events into opportunities for competition. Don’t get me wrong, we like to win just like anyone else, we just typically prefer non-competitive activities.

29. We saved our parents a lot of money

Children are extremely expensive, in fact, it has been estimated that the total cost of raising a child often exceeds $250,000 by the time they reach 18.

30. We are just like everyone else

So stop bringing it up all the time! We’re sensitive about it.

 

Featured photo credit: boy in mumbai slums / pushkar raj sharma via flic.kr

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Last Updated on September 20, 2018

7 Powerful Questions To Find Out What You Want To Do With Your Life

7 Powerful Questions To Find Out What You Want To Do With Your Life

What do I want to do with my life? It’s a question all of us think about at one point or another.

For some, the answer comes easily. For others, it takes a lifetime to figure out.

It’s easy to just go through the motions and continue to do what’s comfortable and familiar. But for those of you who seek fulfillment, who want to do more, these questions will help you paint a clearer picture of what you want to do with your life.

1. What are the things I’m most passionate about?

The first step to living a more fulfilling life is to think about the things that you’re passionate about.

What do you love? What fulfills you? What “work” do you do that doesn’t feel like work? Maybe you enjoy writing, maybe you love working with animals or maybe you have a knack for photography.

The point is, figure out what you love doing, then do more of it.

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2. What are my greatest accomplishments in life so far?

Think about your past experiences and the things in your life you’re most proud of.

How did those accomplishments make you feel? Pretty darn good, right? So why not try and emulate those experiences and feelings?

If you ran a marathon once and loved the feeling you had afterwards, start training for another one. If your child grew up to be a star athlete or musician because of your teachings, then be a coach or mentor for other kids.

Continue to do the things that have been most fulfilling for you.

3. If my life had absolutely no limits, what would I choose to have and what would I choose to do?

Here’s a cool exercise: Think about what you would do if you had no limits.

If you had all the money and time in the world, where would you go? What would you do? Who would you spend time with?

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These answers can help you figure out what you want to do with your life. It doesn’t mean you need millions of dollars to be happy though.

What it does mean is answering these questions will help you set goals to reach certain milestones and create a path toward happiness and fulfillment. Which leads to our next question …

4. What are my goals in life?

Goals are a necessary component to set you up for a happy future. So answer these questions:

Once you figure out the answers to each of these, you’ll have a much better idea of what you should do with your life.

5. Whom do I admire most in the world?

Following the path of successful people can set you up for success.

Think about the people you respect and admire most. What are their best qualities? Why do you respect them? What can you learn from them?

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You’re the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.[1] So don’t waste your time with people who hold you back from achieving your dreams.

Spend more time with happy, successful, optimistic people and you’ll become one of them.

6. What do I not like to do?

An important part of figuring out what you want to do with your life is honestly assessing what you don’t want to do.

What are the things you despise? What bugs you the most about your current job?

Maybe you hate meetings even though you sit through 6 hours of them every day. If that’s the case, find a job where you can work more independently.

The point is, if you want something to change in your life, you need to take action. Which leads to our final question …

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7. How hard am I willing to work to get what I want?

Great accomplishments never come easy. If you want to do great things with your life, you’re going to have to make a great effort. That will probably mean putting in more hours the average person, getting outside your comfort zone and learning as much as you can to achieve as much as you can.

But here’s the cool part: it’s often the journey that is the most fulfilling part. It’s during these seemingly small, insignificant moments that you’ll often find that “aha” moments that helps you answer the question,

“What do I want to do with my life?”

So take the first step toward improving your life. You won’t regret it.

Featured photo credit: Andrew Ly via unsplash.com

Reference

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