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30 Things Only An Only Child Would Understand

30 Things Only An Only Child Would Understand

Due largely to the rising costs of raising children, single child families are on the rise in America and other developed nations, with some 18% of families in the U.S. having only one child, a figure which has doubled in the last 30 years. This means that more children in this generation will experience the joys and challenges of being raised in what comedian John Hodgman affectionately calls the “super-smart, ultra-shy narcissist club.” As an only child myself, here are 30 things that I know to be true about growing up solo.

1. We don’t all match the stereotype

We have heard it all before, only children are spoiled rotten little brats… well, guess what, so are a lot of you “normal” people, and you don’t hear us complaining about it all the time. Not all of us are completely self-obsessed.

2. We prefer to avoid conflict

We didn’t grow up with a sibling to torment or to be tormented by and are therefore naturally averse to peer conflict.

3. We are often voracious readers

Without the existence of a built-in familial playmate, we had to find other ways to occupy our time and add some people, albeit imaginary, into the cast of characters in our lives.

4. We love to hang out with big families

In much the same way that a visit to the country is an exciting and novel adventure for a city dweller, observing the dynamics and inner-workings of a large family is enjoyable for only children.

5. We tend to be closer to our friends

We treat our friends like the brothers and sisters that we never had. We are not satisfied with casual acquaintances, we want the talk-for-hours-on-the-phone-every-day type of buddy.

6. We don’t mind being alone

Have you ever seen someone eating at a restaurant or going to a movie by themselves. Guess what, they are probably having a great time, ordering or watching whatever they want. Only children are completely comfortable being alone.

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7. We like having people in the background

Growing up, one of my favorite things to do was invite a bunch of people over my house and then hang out by myself in another room, reading or writing. While this may seem like extremely anti-social behavior, I simply enjoyed having people in the background that I didn’t need to directly interact with.

8. We are old souls

As the majority of our interactions outside of school are with adults, we tend to be a little more mature than our peers and, as such, we act older than our age.

9. We know exactly why we are only children

Every only child eventually gets “the talk” where our parents explain to us why they didn’t provide us with a sibling. In my case, I was a late in life, accidental birth. The whole conversation feels like an apology. It’s awkward.

10. We had imaginary friends

In fact, our imaginary friends had imaginary friends. We crafted elaborate narrative exchanges with these figments of our overactive imaginations and had a great time doing it.

11. We are less prone to PDA

We didn’t grow up being constantly touched and, as such, we tend to be a little more reserved with our public displays of affection.

12. We are less likely to want kids of our own

We do not have fond memories of our siblings growing up alongside us, so we are not inherently drawn to recreating those times.

13. We are a little sensitive

We didn’t grow up being ribbed and constantly picked on. We never built up the emotional callouses needed to live in such a cruel world, so we are often a little sensitive.

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14. We are not likely to throw a punch

…but we often wonder what it would be like to get into a real fist fight.

15. People automatically think we are weird

Telling people that you are an only child is like saying you were raised in a cult, you get a range of looks in response, that span the gap from mildly surprised to outright disgusted.

16. We are not great at sharing

Our things are our things and our food is our food. We didn’t grow up having to share and are therefore not very good at it.

17. We are drawn to other only children

Three of my closest friends are also only children. It’s a little like a private club.

18. We think we are the atypical case

Regarding those three close friends, I feel very strongly that they are all much more stereotypical “only children” than I am.

19. We are obsessive

Without the distractions that siblings provide, we tend to get deep into our hobbies.

20. We are always trying to please our parents

This carries on well into adulthood. We feel a deep need to make our parents proud, mostly because we were our parent’s sole concern for the entirety of our formative years.

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21. We love attention

We grow up never having to fight for attention, in fact, we probably received a little too much of it over the years. We are used to being the focal point in social interactions and that is not an easy thing to give up.

22. We talk to ourselves

And sometimes the conversations are pretty engaging.

23. We have overbearing parents

It’s not their fault, we are all they have, so it is only natural that they would become a little controlling.

24. We are a little bummed out that we won’t be aunts and uncles

Unless we marry into such a situation, we will never have a little niece or nephew to spoil.

25. We don’t always play well with others

Only children sometimes have difficulty operating as part of a team because they did not engage in the same type of group play that other kids did.

26. We don’t always remember our childhoods accurately

We lack a secondary record of our childhood. We have no one to ask if the exaggerated version of events that exist in our heads actually happened.

27. We used to pretend we had older siblings

Mine was a globetrotting college-aged sister with red hair and a fancy car… I genuinely have no idea why.

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28. We are not competitive

We often lack the overwhelming desire, that so many have, to turn mundane events into opportunities for competition. Don’t get me wrong, we like to win just like anyone else, we just typically prefer non-competitive activities.

29. We saved our parents a lot of money

Children are extremely expensive, in fact, it has been estimated that the total cost of raising a child often exceeds $250,000 by the time they reach 18.

30. We are just like everyone else

So stop bringing it up all the time! We’re sensitive about it.

 

Featured photo credit: boy in mumbai slums / pushkar raj sharma via flic.kr

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Last Updated on September 17, 2019

10 Simple Ways To Always Think Positive Thoughts

10 Simple Ways To Always Think Positive Thoughts

Positive thinking can lead to a lot of positive change in your life. Developing an optimistic outlook can be good for both your physical and mental health.

But sometimes, certain situations arise in life that makes it hard to keep a positive outlook. Take steps to make positive thinking become more like your second nature and you’ll reap the biggest benefits.

Here are 10 ways to make thinking positive thoughts easy:

1. Spend Time with Positive People

If you surround yourself with constant complainers, their negativity is likely to rub off on you.

Spend time with positive friends and family members to increase the likelihood that their positive thinking habits will become yours too. It’s hard to be negative when everyone around you is so positive.

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2. Take Responsibility for Your Behavior

When you encounter problems and difficulties in life, don’t play the role of the victim. Acknowledge your role in the situation and take responsibility for your behavior.

Accepting responsibility can help you learn from mistakes and prevent you from blaming others unfairly.

3. Contribute to the Community

One of the best ways to feel good about what you have, is to focus on what you have to give.

Volunteer in some manner and give back to the community. Helping others can give you a new outlook on the world and can assist you with positive thinking.

4. Read Positive and Inspirational Materials

Spend time each day reading something that encourages positive thinking. Read the Bible, spiritual material, or inspirational quotes to help you focus on what’s important to you in life. It can be a great way to start and end your day.

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Some recommendations for you:

5. Recognize and Replace Negative Thoughts

You won’t be successful at positive thinking if you’re still plagued by frequent negative thoughts. Learn to recognize and replace thoughts that are overly negative. Often, thoughts that include words like “always” and “never” signal that they aren’t true.

If you find yourself thinking something such as, “I always mess everything up,” replace it with something more realistic such as, “Sometimes I make mistakes but I learn from them.”

There’s no need to make your thoughts unrealistically positive, but instead, make them more realistic.

6. Establish and Work Toward Goals

It’s easier to be positive about problems and setbacks when you have goals that you’re working toward. Goals will give you motivation to overcome those obstacles when you encounter problems along the way. Without clear goals, it’s harder to make decisions and gauge your progress.

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Learn to set SMART goals to help you achieve more.

7. Consider the Consequences of Negativity

Spend some time thinking about the consequences of negative thinking. Often, it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

For example, a person who thinks, “I probably won’t get this job interview,” may put less effort into the interview. As a result, he may decrease his chances of getting the job.

Create a list of all the ways negative thinking impacts your life. It likely influences your behavior, your relationships, and your feelings. Then, create a list of the ways in which positive thinking could be beneficial.

8. Offer Compliments to Others

Look for reasons to compliment others. Be genuine in your praise and compliments, but offer it frequently. This will help you look for the good in other people.

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9. Create a Daily Gratitude List

If you start keeping a daily gratitude list, you’ll start noticing exactly how much you have to be thankful for. This can help you focus on the positive in your life instead of thinking about all the bad things that have happened in the day.

Getting in the habit of showing an attitude of gratitude makes positive thinking more of a habit. Here’re 40 Simple Ways To Practice Gratitude.

10. Practice Self-Care

Take good care of yourself and you’ll be more equipped to think positively.

Get plenty of rest and exercise and practice managing your stress well. Taking care of your physical and mental health will provide you with more energy to focus on positive thinking.

Learn about these 30 Self-Care Habits for a Strong and Healthy Mind, Body and Spirit.

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Featured photo credit: DESIGNECOLOGIST via unsplash.com

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