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3 Reasons Why Men Cheat

3 Reasons Why Men Cheat

Infidelity is nothing new in our society, but most of us will agree that cheating seems to be more prominent than ever, or at least more recognized. That said, do men cheat more than women? And if so, how much?

According to the Associated Press Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 57% of men admit to cheating at some point in their lives compared to 54% of women who admit the same. Looking at that data, there doesn’t seem to be a significant difference between the genders.

The study goes on to say, however, that 22% of men admit to cheating in a marriage compared to only 14% of women. There’s a problem here, so I decided to seek out a professional opinion on why men cheat and how it can possibly be prevented.

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I sat down with Dr. Harrison Davis, a licensed psychotherapist based out of Atlanta. For over 16 years, Dr. Davis has observed and worked with clients struggling with adultery, and he gave some unique perspectives on why infidelity seems to be so pervasive for men in particular.

“There are multiple reasons for infidelity within marital and long-term relationships,” Dr. Davis claimed. “Both men and women have participated in adulterous behavior throughout the centuries, but men are typically associated with this issue. Still, they both tend to cheat for the same reasons.”

1. Uncertainty.

Dr. Davis pointed out that men tend to let uncertainty in their relationships steer them away from staying committed. He said, “Early in a relationship, men usually don’t take the relationship as seriously as women. They are more likely, then, to entertain the possibility of another relationship in case this one doesn’t work out.”

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Of course, women face uncertainty as well in their relationships, but Dr. Davis noted that age and maturity level significantly contribute to adulterous situations. Also, women are usually more likely to discuss relationship uncertainty with their partners, while men prefer not to address it.

2. Acceptance.

To most people, it seems obvious that cheating is a bad thing. There is a negative, social stigma to the idea of unfaithfulness, but if that stigma does not already exist, then cheating may actually be viewed as normal behavior.

According to Dr. Davis, some men grow up in an environment where their father cheated with their mother, but the mother stayed with him, perhaps pretending like it was not an issue. He said, “These events provide a model for the role of men in relationships. I have clients who describe growing up knowing their father’s girlfriend, despite being married and living in the house with his family.”

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If the concept of monogamy is foreign to a man, then he may be more inclined to view cheating as acceptable behavior. For some men, it may even be a part of their personality.

3. Resentment.

Lastly, Dr. Davis stated that a primary reason for infidelity among men is a lack of empathy. “When a man feels unappreciated by his partner for an extended period of time, he may eventually feel emasculated by her,” said Dr. Davis. “To fill the void, or suit his ego, he may give in to the advances of someone else who fulfills his need for a sexual or emotional relationship.”

It would seem that feeling vulnerable can be a significant reason for why a man would choose to stray from his commitments. Dr. Davis went on to say that, “Because of the resentment towards his wife, he decides to do something he knows is wrong and has little empathy towards her.”

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After talking to Dr. Davis, I began to notice the pattern connecting these causes of infidelity. It seems that men who go into relationships ill-prepared may fall into these situations where they feel tempted to cheat.

In other words, it may be wise for men and women to be more careful about which relationships they choose to take part in. Rushing commitment can lead to a relationship that ends in resentment, and if you know that the other person doesn’t have a problem with things like infidelity, then it may be wise to look elsewhere for a lifelong partner.

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Last Updated on February 13, 2019

10 Things Happy People Do Differently

10 Things Happy People Do Differently

Think being happy is something that happens as a result of luck, circumstance, having money, etc.? Think again.

Happiness is a mindset. And if you’re looking to improve your ability to find happiness, then check out these 10 things happy people do differently.

Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions. -Dalai Lama

1. Happy people find balance in their lives.

Folks who are happy have this in common: they’re content with what they have, and don’t waste a whole lot of time worrying and stressing over things they don’t. Unhappy people do the opposite: they spend too much time thinking about what they don’t have. Happy people lead balanced lives. This means they make time for all the things that are important to them, whether it’s family, friends, career, health, religion, etc.

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2. Happy people abide by the golden rule.

You know that saying you heard when you were a kid, “Do unto others as you would have them do to you.” Well, happy people truly embody this principle. They treat others with respect. They’re sensitive to the thoughts and feelings of other people. They’re compassionate. And they get treated this way (most of the time) in return.

3. Happy people don’t sweat the small stuff.

One of the biggest things happy people do differently compared to unhappy people is they let stuff go. Bad things happen to good people sometimes. Happy people realize this, are able to take things in stride, and move on. Unhappy people tend to dwell on minor inconveniences and issues, which can perpetuate feelings of sadness, guilt, resentment, greed, and anger.

4. Happy people take responsibility for their actions.

Happy people aren’t perfect, and they’re well aware of that. When they screw up, they admit it. They recognize their faults and work to improve on them. Unhappy people tend to blame others and always find an excuse why things aren’t going their way. Happy people, on the other hand, live by the mantra:

“There are two types of people in the world: those that do and those that make excuses why they don’t.”

5. Happy people surround themselves with other happy people.

happiness surrounding

    One defining characteristic of happy people is they tend to hang out with other happy people. Misery loves company, and unhappy people gravitate toward others who share their negative sentiments. If you’re struggling with a bout of sadness, depression, worry, or anger, spend more time with your happiest friends or family members. Chances are, you’ll find that their positive attitude rubs off on you.

    6. Happy people are honest with themselves and others.

    People who are happy often exhibit the virtues of honesty and trustworthiness. They would rather give you candid feedback, even when the truth hurts, and they expect the same in return. Happy people respect people who give them an honest opinion.

    7. Happy people show signs of happiness.

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    smile

      This one may sound obvious but it’s a key differentiator between happy and unhappy people. Think about your happiest friends. Chances are, the mental image you form is of them smiling, laughing, and appearing genuinely happy. On the flip side, those who aren’t happy tend to look the part. Their posture may be slouched and you may perceive a lack of confidence.

      8. Happy people are passionate.

      Another thing happy people have in common is their ability to find their passions in life and pursue those passions to the fullest. Happy people have found what they’re looking for, and they spend their time doing what they love.

      9. Happy people see challenges as opportunities.

      Folks who are happy accept challenges and use them as opportunities to learn and grow. They turn negatives into positives and make the best out of seemingly bad situations. They don’t dwell on things that are out of their control; rather, they seek solutions and creative ways of overcoming obstacles.

      10. Happy people live in the present.

      While unhappy people tend to dwell on the past and worry about the future, happy people live in the moment. They are grateful for “the now” and focus their efforts on living life to the fullest in the present. Their philosophy is:

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      There’s a reason it’s called “the present.” Because life is a gift.

      So if you’d like to bring a little more happiness into your life, think about the 10 principles above and how you can use them to make yourself better.

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