Advertising
Advertising

3 Reasons Why Men Cheat

3 Reasons Why Men Cheat

Infidelity is nothing new in our society, but most of us will agree that cheating seems to be more prominent than ever, or at least more recognized. That said, do men cheat more than women? And if so, how much?

According to the Associated Press Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 57% of men admit to cheating at some point in their lives compared to 54% of women who admit the same. Looking at that data, there doesn’t seem to be a significant difference between the genders.

The study goes on to say, however, that 22% of men admit to cheating in a marriage compared to only 14% of women. There’s a problem here, so I decided to seek out a professional opinion on why men cheat and how it can possibly be prevented.

Advertising

I sat down with Dr. Harrison Davis, a licensed psychotherapist based out of Atlanta. For over 16 years, Dr. Davis has observed and worked with clients struggling with adultery, and he gave some unique perspectives on why infidelity seems to be so pervasive for men in particular.

“There are multiple reasons for infidelity within marital and long-term relationships,” Dr. Davis claimed. “Both men and women have participated in adulterous behavior throughout the centuries, but men are typically associated with this issue. Still, they both tend to cheat for the same reasons.”

1. Uncertainty.

Dr. Davis pointed out that men tend to let uncertainty in their relationships steer them away from staying committed. He said, “Early in a relationship, men usually don’t take the relationship as seriously as women. They are more likely, then, to entertain the possibility of another relationship in case this one doesn’t work out.”

Advertising

Of course, women face uncertainty as well in their relationships, but Dr. Davis noted that age and maturity level significantly contribute to adulterous situations. Also, women are usually more likely to discuss relationship uncertainty with their partners, while men prefer not to address it.

2. Acceptance.

To most people, it seems obvious that cheating is a bad thing. There is a negative, social stigma to the idea of unfaithfulness, but if that stigma does not already exist, then cheating may actually be viewed as normal behavior.

According to Dr. Davis, some men grow up in an environment where their father cheated with their mother, but the mother stayed with him, perhaps pretending like it was not an issue. He said, “These events provide a model for the role of men in relationships. I have clients who describe growing up knowing their father’s girlfriend, despite being married and living in the house with his family.”

Advertising

If the concept of monogamy is foreign to a man, then he may be more inclined to view cheating as acceptable behavior. For some men, it may even be a part of their personality.

3. Resentment.

Lastly, Dr. Davis stated that a primary reason for infidelity among men is a lack of empathy. “When a man feels unappreciated by his partner for an extended period of time, he may eventually feel emasculated by her,” said Dr. Davis. “To fill the void, or suit his ego, he may give in to the advances of someone else who fulfills his need for a sexual or emotional relationship.”

It would seem that feeling vulnerable can be a significant reason for why a man would choose to stray from his commitments. Dr. Davis went on to say that, “Because of the resentment towards his wife, he decides to do something he knows is wrong and has little empathy towards her.”

Advertising

After talking to Dr. Davis, I began to notice the pattern connecting these causes of infidelity. It seems that men who go into relationships ill-prepared may fall into these situations where they feel tempted to cheat.

In other words, it may be wise for men and women to be more careful about which relationships they choose to take part in. Rushing commitment can lead to a relationship that ends in resentment, and if you know that the other person doesn’t have a problem with things like infidelity, then it may be wise to look elsewhere for a lifelong partner.

More by this author

How to Memorize More and Faster Than Other People 24 Killer Websites that Make You Cleverer 15 Must-Have Apps For Your iPhone 20 Books That Are Guaranteed To Make You Cry 12 Practical Ways To Persuade Anyone To Do Anything Easily

Trending in Communication

110 Ways To Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone And Enjoy Taking Risks 2When You Start to Enjoy Being Single, These 12 Things Will Happen 321 Best Tips On Making A Long Distance Relationship Work 4The Skill That Most People Don’t Have: Active Listening 518 Signs You’ve Found Your Soulmate

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on August 16, 2018

10 Ways To Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone And Enjoy Taking Risks

10 Ways To Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone And Enjoy Taking Risks

The ability to take risks by stepping outside your comfort zone is the primary way by which we grow. But we are often afraid to take that first step.

In truth, comfort zones are not really about comfort, they are about fear. Break the chains of fear to get outside. Once you do, you will learn to enjoy the process of taking risks and growing in the process.

Here are 10 ways to help you step out of your comfort zone and get closer to success:

1. Become aware of what’s outside of your comfort zone

What are the things that you believe are worth doing but are afraid of doing yourself because of the potential for disappointment or failure?

Draw a circle and write those things down outside the circle. This process will not only allow you to clearly identify your discomforts, but your comforts. Write identified comforts inside the circle.

2. Become clear about what you are aiming to overcome

Take the list of discomforts and go deeper. Remember, the primary emotion you are trying to overcome is fear.

Advertising

How does this fear apply uniquely to each situation? Be very specific.

Are you afraid of walking up to people and introducing yourself in social situations? Why? Is it because you are insecure about the sound of your voice? Are you insecure about your looks?

Or, are you afraid of being ignored?

3. Get comfortable with discomfort

One way to get outside of your comfort zone is to literally expand it. Make it a goal to avoid running away from discomfort.

Let’s stay with the theme of meeting people in social settings. If you start feeling a little panicked when talking to someone you’ve just met, try to stay with it a little longer than you normally would before retreating to comfort. If you stay long enough and practice often enough, it will start to become less uncomfortable.

4. See failure as a teacher

Many of us are so afraid of failure that we would rather do nothing than take a shot at our dreams.

Advertising

Begin to treat failure as a teacher. What did you learn from the experience? How can you take that lesson to your next adventure to increase your chance of success?

Many highly successful people failed plenty of times before they succeeded. Here’re some examples:

10 Famous Failures to Success Stories That Will Inspire You to Carry On

5. Take baby steps

Don’t try to jump outside your comfort zone, you will likely become overwhelmed and jump right back in.

Take small steps toward the fear you are trying to overcome. If you want to do public speaking, start by taking every opportunity to speak to small groups of people. You can even practice with family and friends.

Take a look at this article on how you can start taking baby steps:

Advertising

The Number One Secret to Life Success: Baby Steps

6. Hang out with risk takers

There is no substitute for this step. If you want to become better at something, you must start hanging out with the people who are doing what you want to do and start emulating them. (Here’re 8 Reasons Why Risk Takers Are More Likely To Be Successful).

Almost inevitably, their influence will start have an effect on your behavior.

7. Be honest with yourself when you are trying to make excuses

Don’t say “Oh, I just don’t have the time for this right now.” Instead, be honest and say “I am afraid to do this.”

Don’t make excuses, just be honest. You will be in a better place to confront what is truly bothering you and increase your chance of moving forward.

8. Identify how stepping out will benefit you

What will the ability to engage in public speaking do for your personal and professional growth? Keep these potential benefits in mind as motivations to push through fear.

Advertising

9. Don’t take yourself too seriously

Learn to laugh at yourself when you make mistakes. Risk taking will inevitably involve failure and setbacks that will sometimes make you look foolish to others. Be happy to roll with the punches when others poke fun.

If you aren’t convinced yet, check out these 6 Reasons Not to Take Life So Seriously.

10. Focus on the fun

Enjoy the process of stepping outside your safe boundaries. Enjoy the fun of discovering things about yourself that you may not have been aware of previously.

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

Read Next