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3 Reasons Why Men Cheat

3 Reasons Why Men Cheat

Infidelity is nothing new in our society, but most of us will agree that cheating seems to be more prominent than ever, or at least more recognized. That said, do men cheat more than women? And if so, how much?

According to the Associated Press Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 57% of men admit to cheating at some point in their lives compared to 54% of women who admit the same. Looking at that data, there doesn’t seem to be a significant difference between the genders.

The study goes on to say, however, that 22% of men admit to cheating in a marriage compared to only 14% of women. There’s a problem here, so I decided to seek out a professional opinion on why men cheat and how it can possibly be prevented.

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I sat down with Dr. Harrison Davis, a licensed psychotherapist based out of Atlanta. For over 16 years, Dr. Davis has observed and worked with clients struggling with adultery, and he gave some unique perspectives on why infidelity seems to be so pervasive for men in particular.

“There are multiple reasons for infidelity within marital and long-term relationships,” Dr. Davis claimed. “Both men and women have participated in adulterous behavior throughout the centuries, but men are typically associated with this issue. Still, they both tend to cheat for the same reasons.”

1. Uncertainty.

Dr. Davis pointed out that men tend to let uncertainty in their relationships steer them away from staying committed. He said, “Early in a relationship, men usually don’t take the relationship as seriously as women. They are more likely, then, to entertain the possibility of another relationship in case this one doesn’t work out.”

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Of course, women face uncertainty as well in their relationships, but Dr. Davis noted that age and maturity level significantly contribute to adulterous situations. Also, women are usually more likely to discuss relationship uncertainty with their partners, while men prefer not to address it.

2. Acceptance.

To most people, it seems obvious that cheating is a bad thing. There is a negative, social stigma to the idea of unfaithfulness, but if that stigma does not already exist, then cheating may actually be viewed as normal behavior.

According to Dr. Davis, some men grow up in an environment where their father cheated with their mother, but the mother stayed with him, perhaps pretending like it was not an issue. He said, “These events provide a model for the role of men in relationships. I have clients who describe growing up knowing their father’s girlfriend, despite being married and living in the house with his family.”

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If the concept of monogamy is foreign to a man, then he may be more inclined to view cheating as acceptable behavior. For some men, it may even be a part of their personality.

3. Resentment.

Lastly, Dr. Davis stated that a primary reason for infidelity among men is a lack of empathy. “When a man feels unappreciated by his partner for an extended period of time, he may eventually feel emasculated by her,” said Dr. Davis. “To fill the void, or suit his ego, he may give in to the advances of someone else who fulfills his need for a sexual or emotional relationship.”

It would seem that feeling vulnerable can be a significant reason for why a man would choose to stray from his commitments. Dr. Davis went on to say that, “Because of the resentment towards his wife, he decides to do something he knows is wrong and has little empathy towards her.”

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After talking to Dr. Davis, I began to notice the pattern connecting these causes of infidelity. It seems that men who go into relationships ill-prepared may fall into these situations where they feel tempted to cheat.

In other words, it may be wise for men and women to be more careful about which relationships they choose to take part in. Rushing commitment can lead to a relationship that ends in resentment, and if you know that the other person doesn’t have a problem with things like infidelity, then it may be wise to look elsewhere for a lifelong partner.

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Jon Negroni

An author and blogger who shares about lifestyle advice

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Last Updated on October 17, 2019

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

You see your partner every single day. They are the first person you talk to in the morning and the last person you kiss goodnight.

But does seeing each other day in and day out equal a healthy relationship? Not necessarily.

Spending quality time with your partner is the best way to ensure your relationship stays healthy and strong. This means going above and beyond sitting together while you watch Netflix or going out for the occasional dinner. You deserve more from your relationship – and so does your spouse!

What does quality time mean? It means spending time with your spouse without interruption. It’s a chance for you to come together and talk. Communication will build emotional intimacy and trust.

Quality time is also about expressing love in a physical way. Not sex, necessarily (but that’s great, too!) but through hand-holding, cuddling, caressing, and tickling. Studies show that these displays of affection will boost partner satisfaction.[1]

So how do you spend quality time with your partner? Here are 13 relationship tips on making the most out of your time with your partner.

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1. Recognize the Signs

If you want a healthy relationship, you have to learn how to recognize the signs that you need to spend more quality time together.

Some telltale signs include:

  • You’re always on your phones.
  • You value friendships or hobbies over quality time with your spouse.
  • You aren’t together during important events.
  • You are arguing more often or lack connection.
  • You don’t make plans or date nights.
  • You’re not happy.

If you are experiencing any of these relationship symptoms, know that quality time together can reverse the negative effects of the signs above.

2. Try New Things Together

Have you ever wanted to learn how to play an instrument or speak another language? How about skydive or ballroom dance?

Instead of viewing these as solo hobbies and interests, why not involve your partner?

Trying new activities together builds healthy relationships because it encourages spouses to rely on one another for emotional and physical support.

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Shared hobbies also promote marital friendship, and the Journal of Happiness Studies found that marital satisfaction was twice as high for couples who viewed each other as best friends.[2]

3. Schedule in Tech-Free Time

Your phone is a great way to listen to music, watch videos, and keep up-to-date with friends and family. But is your phone good for your relationship?

Many couples phone snub, or ‘phub’, one another. Studies show that phubbing can lower relationship satisfaction and increase one’s chances of depression.[3]

Reduce those chances by removing distractions when spending quality time together and showing your partner they have your full attention.

4. Hit the Gym as a Couple

One way you can spend more time together as a couple is by becoming workout partners. Studies show that couples are more likely to stay with their exercise routine if they work out together.[4] Couples also work out harder than they would solo. One study found that 95 percent of couples who work out together maintained weight loss compares to the 66 percent of singles who did.[5]

Join a gym, do at-home couples’ workouts, try couples yoga, hit the hiking trails, or get your bikes out. No matter which way you choose to exercise, these healthy activities can promote a healthy relationship.

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5. Cook Meals Together

Pop open a bottle of wine or put some romantic music on while you get busy – in the kitchen, of course!

One of the best relationship tips for spending quality time together when you both have busy schedules is to cook meals together.[6]

Spice things up and try and prepare a four-course meal or a fancy French dish together. Not only is this a fun way to spend your time together, but it also promotes teamwork.

If all goes well, you’ll have a romantic date night meal at home that you prepared with your four hands. And if the food didn’t turn out the way you’d hoped, you are guaranteed to have a laugh and create new memories together.

6. Have a Regular Date Night

Couples experience a greater sense of happiness and less stress when they are spending quality time together.[7] One of the biggest relationship tips for a healthy partnership is to include a date night in your weekly routine.

The National Marriage Project found that having a weekly date night can make your relationship seem more exciting and helps prevent relationship boredom.[8] It also lowers the probability of divorce, improves your sex life, and increases healthy communication.

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Some great ideas for what to do on your date night include:

  • Have a movie marathon – Gather up your favorite flicks and cuddle up on the couch.
  • Play games together – Cards, board games, video games, and other creative outlets are a fun way to spend quality time together.
  • Recreate your first date – Go back to that restaurant and order the same meal you did when you first got together. You can spice up your evening by pretending you’re strangers meeting for the first time and see how sexy the night gets.
  • Plan a weekend getaway – There’s nothing better than traveling with the one you love.
  • Dinner and a movie – A classic!
  • Try a new restaurant – Make it your mission to rate and try all of the Mexican restaurants/Irish pubs/Italian trattorias in your area.
  • Have a long sex session – Intimacy promotes the release of the oxytocin hormone which is responsible for a myriad of great feelings.[9]

Here’re even more date night ideas for your reference: 50 Unique and Really Fun Date Ideas for Couples

Final Thoughts

The benefits of spending quality time together are endless. Here are just some of the ways it can contribute to a healthy relationship:

  • Improves emotional and physical intimacy
  • Lowers divorce rates
  • Improves communication
  • Reduces marital boredom
  • Bonds couples closer
  • Improves friendship
  • Boosts health
  • Reduces stress

These are all excellent reasons to start making date night a regular part of your week.

It’s easy to have a healthy relationship when you set aside dedicated time to share with your spouse. Try new things together, make your spouse your workout buddy, and look for innovative ways to be close and connected.

These relationship tips will bring great benefits to your marriage.

Featured photo credit: Allen Taylor via unsplash.com

Reference

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