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25 Things to Do Before You Turn 25

25 Things to Do Before You Turn 25

1. Go to a Music Festival.

See your favourite bands play live; experience the atmosphere, the fashions and the micro-culture of life in a large field with a crowd of people all there to enjoy the experience.

2. Buy Dinner for Your Parents.

Your parents may have been been funding your life for years, so now you can experience the joy of repaying their kindness, love, and responsibility, and of developing an adult relationship with them. Taking them out for dinner, and picking up the bill, is one of the ways of doing this.

3. Travel to Another Continent

Travelling, with the exposure to different climes, cultures, and peoples, broadens the mind, helps develop life skills, and makes for more open attitudes and tolerance. However open-minded you are, there’s nothing like experiencing a different way of life firsthand. It also furnishes you with some great dinner party stories!

4. Try an Adrenaline Sport.

You could try sky diving, white water rafting or bungee jumping. Pushing your comfort zone and trying something like this may terrify you, but you’ll feel immensely proud of overcoming your fear.

5. Spend the Whole Weekend Partying.

Doing an “all weekender” can be more difficult as you get older and have more responsibilities—it’s a great experience to try!

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6. Have a Good Conversation with Someone of a Different Faith or Belief to Your Own.

Conversations like this helps us realise we’re not so different to other people, regardless of appearances.

7. Vote.

Have your say on how your home country is run. We really can’t complain if we have the democratic right to express our views, but don’t do so.

8. Dye Your Hair a Completely Different Colour.

Or change your hairstyle. One change that can make you feel like a different person.

9. Go to a Gay / Lesbian Club or Bar.

Or join in with a Pride parade/festival. If you’re gay, you could hang out at a straight bar.

10. Let Go of a Friendship.

Not all friendships are meant to last forever; some come into our lives and exist for different reasons at different times in our life. Holding on to a relationship that has run its course doesn’t do either of you any favours. Quality rather than quantity of friends is the important factor.

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11. Like Yourself.

The teen years are for exploring who you are, what you like, and how you tick. Now its time to embrace who you are: be proud of the unique self you have become.

12. Practice Being Charitable.

Giving is more rewarding than receiving. Consider volunteering at a home for the elderly, or donating a percentage of earnings to a charity that you feel is important. Something as simple as smiling more and being more friendly to the people in your life and strangers that you come across can make a big difference to both you and them.

13. Let the Grudge Go.

Holding resentment does more damage to you than anyone else. Let it go. Use your energy for more healthy pursuits.

14. Go on a Blind Date.

The excitement, the worry, the unknown outcome—who knows what may come of it? A blind date makes for a great story to tell friends, a learning experience and maybe even a great love.

15. Exercise.

Your body is not 18 anymore. All bodies age, and the punishment you might have applied to it in your teens and early twenties by excessive studying, partying, and having a chaotic lifestyle will not be so easy to recover from as you get older.

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16. Learn to Cook

Learning to cook, if you haven’t already, can be fun, good for your health, and your bank balance. Trying new recipes and developing a repertoire of easy, simple and healthy meals is a great start.

17. Learn to “Be”.

The Italians have a great word; “Asolare“. It means spending time in a meaningless but delightful way. Learn to just be, rather than always doing.

18. Save for Your Retirement.

The earlier we start, the greater the amount for your golden years. It may seem a long way off still, but the retired you will thank you for having started by now.

19. Camp Under the Stars.

Experience the wonder of our world, with just canvas separating you from mother nature. It puts everything back into perspective, especially when life gets clouded by all the trappings and complexities of the modern world.

20. Learn to Balance Your Finances.

Money can be an asset or a burden, but a lot depends on how you manage it. A few skills in the art of balancing your finances can have a big positive impact on your life.

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21. Wake up Somewhere Unfamiliar.

Enjoy the initial confusion, followed by the delighted feeling of having done something reckless, followed by the reality of “how do I get home?”.

22. Eat Exotic Food.

This is even better if it has an un-prounounceable name and is experienced in another country!

23. Buy a Ridiculously Expensive Item of Clothing.

Then leave it un-worn in the back of the closet. Keep it as an impulse buy; a reward to yourself; a “you deserve it” item you buy but never feel okay to wear but never get rid of because it cost so much.

24. Learn to Say No.

Learning to say “no”, is an important skill and one that can dramatically increase the quality of our lives.

25. Learn to Be Alone

Our relationship with ourselves is the most important one of our lives; we won’t spend as much time with anyone else! Learning to enjoy our own company and enjoy being alone is invaluable on so many levels.

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Jennifer Smith

Life Coach & Personal Growth Blogger

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Last Updated on July 15, 2020

How to Let Go of Toxic People in Your Life

How to Let Go of Toxic People in Your Life

“Entitlement is an expression of conditional love. Nobody is ever entitled to your love. You always have a right to protect your mental, emotional, and physical well-being by removing yourself from toxic people and circumstances.” -Dr. Janice Anderson & Kiersten Anderson

It’s not always obvious if you have someone toxic in your life. A toxic relationship is one that is harmful to you. A toxic person can create distress to the degree you feel inadequate and isolated. So, what makes a toxic person?

A toxic person has toxic behavior, meaning it’s not that the whole person is toxic[1]. It’s what they do that counts. Most toxic people run from accountability and misrepresent reality to you. They misrepresent your worth and your ability to heal from them can be stifled the longer you keep them in your life. You have a role to play with it as well; if your values are dismissed by them and you don’t act on it, you have allowed room for toxicity to grow.

When you are in a toxic relationship, you feel less than. You feel as though you are not worth anyone’s time or effort. You feel unheard, and sometimes you feel unsafe. You don’t feel good about yourself in a toxic relationship, whether it be with a partner, friend, or family member.

You may stay in a toxic relationship for a number of reasons. You may believe yourself to be a burden, have a lack of boundaries, resist change, fear conflict, try to be a people pleaser, find yourself codependent, or are partially stuck in a pattern or unhealthy cycle of abuse.

Letting go of toxic people may not be easy. In order to do so, you have to know why or how they are toxic to you and read between the lines that they do not have your best interests in mind.

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Letting go of toxic people is hard because you are good and want to see the good in others. You think their apologies are authentic. You have trouble believing they are being dishonest. You don’t spend time healing from it. You get pulled back into the pain because you don’t want it to end. However, if you feel like something isn’t right, it probably isn’t right.

You should walk away from a toxic person because you need to preserve your peace. You need to feel like yourself again. And you need better support.

Letting go of toxic people can involve four major steps.

1. Recognize the Red Flags

Red flags are signs a person is being toxic. It’s when someone shows characteristics that you should feel caution about. It’s when you feel any level of dissatisfaction and distrust. Trust your gut. When you recognize red flags, you can evaluate whether a person is trying to manipulate you or not. This gives you some level of control over what you allow in your life. The earlier you detect these behaviors, the better off you will be.

Red flags can include:

  • They always put themselves first.
  • They point out imperfections and sabotage your self-esteem.
  • You may feel drained or used when you’re around them.
  • What you give isn’t reciprocated. They don’t return the goodness you provide as a friend.
  • They ignore your boundaries and get angry when you tell them “no.”
  • You catch them in half truths or outright lies when you confront them about anything.
  • You are the villain; they are the victim.
  • Second chances always lead to repeated patterns of behavior.
  • They may engage in abuse.

2. Set Boundaries

There are emotional boundaries that one can set, but there are also physical ones[2]. You can leave any time. Setting boundaries is also an important part of self-care.

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You shouldn’t walk on eggshells. Tell them how you feel. Are they respecting you, fulfilling your needs, and listening to you? If not, it’s time to set up a healthy emotional distance and start letting go of toxic people around you.

There are levels to this. You have your inner circle, which could include family, and then you have acquaintances and strangers. If a toxic person is in your inner circle, it’s time to pull back and put up some boundaries for them to follow. If they can’t hear you out, you can cut off the connection completely.

You can give second chances, but you have to be careful. If someone knows they can get away with something, they will do it again. If there’s any chance for the relationship, they have to know not to cross certain lines.

3. Invest in Yourself

You deserve to know you are worthwhile. Try to remember that things will get better and that anything is possible. How do you do so? Invest in yourself.

This means self care, goal setting, surrounding yourself with positive support, and feeling a sense of peace. Your greatest ambition should be to love yourself. Without self-love, letting go of toxic people will be difficult.

Every relationship is a risk, but if you know yourself and what you will allow, toxic people will have less of a hold over you. If you are a giver or people pleaser, you are most at risk to being in a one-sided relationship. You shouldn’t be punished for caring, but sometimes trust needs to be earned. If you have self-love, you are treating yourself the best way possible. You know that others need to meet your standards; otherwise, they don’t get to be a part of your life.

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It’s possible that you can love yourself and still not see the signs. It can be difficult for some to be aware that toxic people exist. However,, if you know how much you mean to others in your life and what you are worth, you will be less likely to take on a relationship that is harmful to you or repeat negative patterns. Self-love is how we get out of toxic relationships, but it’s also how they never begin.

4. Know When Forgiveness Is Possible

There are times a person will prove their worth to you. They may make a mistake that makes them seem like a horrible person. They may forget to be good to you because of their own issues. They may just have no example of what a healthy relationship looks like. They may have an inflated ego that really comes from insecurity. The list goes on.

If they apologize, that’s a start. Look at their actions. Are they changing for the better because they really want to change or just seeming to in order to manipulate you? A person may control others with their image or perceived personality, but if you see through them, you may be able to discern the degree to which they are willing to be there for you.

If they start to do the right thing, you may begin to trust them again. Don’t start forgiving them until time has passed and you are sure there is growth, even if they show vulnerability or remorse. You can give a second chance if they truly have an awakening. Otherwise, it’s best to get out. Don’t let them walk all over you; let them walk out the door.

If you do give a second change and they still refuse to change, you have every right to remove them and continue the process of letting go of toxic people. The moment you even want to leave may also be a good time to get out. You don’t have to compromise yourself in order to care for them.

Forgiveness is the release of resentment or anger[3]. Forgiveness doesn’t mean reconciliation. You have to go back to the same relationship or accept the same harmful behaviors from someone. You don’t have to let them back in. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.

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Remember, forgiveness is ultimately for you, not them. You don’t need that person in your life in order to forgive them, and if you give them a second chance, proceed with caution.

Final Thoughts

Recognize the red flags, set boundaries, invest in yourself, and know when forgiveness is possible. This is how you cope with a toxic person impacting your life. You have power in the direction of your life and the people who accompany you as you move forward. Use it.

If a person is worthwhile, they will prove themselves through their actions, not their words. If they cross certain lines that really harm you, you owe them nothing. You have every right to feel what you feel and to be upset. Honor your feelings and communicate them because it’ll only continue to keep happening if you don’t.

If this is happening to you, it’s time to put a stop to it. It’s time to take control. It’s time to live for yourself, not for what others say about you. It’s time to set your standards higher than they’ve ever been before. And most of all, it’s time to let go.

Resource reminder: A physically abusive relationship is ALWAYS toxic. There are resources for you. Always speak up.

If you are in such a cycle or domestic violence or abuse reach out for help. For example, there is The National Domestic Violence Hotline (https://www.thehotline.org/) which can be reached at 1−800−799−7233. There are other ways to get help if you simply ask for it. 

More Tips on Letting Go of Toxic People

Featured photo credit: Hannah Busing via unsplash.com

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