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25 Things to Do Before You Turn 25

25 Things to Do Before You Turn 25

1. Go to a Music Festival.

See your favourite bands play live; experience the atmosphere, the fashions and the micro-culture of life in a large field with a crowd of people all there to enjoy the experience.

2. Buy Dinner for Your Parents.

Your parents may have been been funding your life for years, so now you can experience the joy of repaying their kindness, love, and responsibility, and of developing an adult relationship with them. Taking them out for dinner, and picking up the bill, is one of the ways of doing this.

3. Travel to Another Continent

Travelling, with the exposure to different climes, cultures, and peoples, broadens the mind, helps develop life skills, and makes for more open attitudes and tolerance. However open-minded you are, there’s nothing like experiencing a different way of life firsthand. It also furnishes you with some great dinner party stories!

4. Try an Adrenaline Sport.

You could try sky diving, white water rafting or bungee jumping. Pushing your comfort zone and trying something like this may terrify you, but you’ll feel immensely proud of overcoming your fear.

5. Spend the Whole Weekend Partying.

Doing an “all weekender” can be more difficult as you get older and have more responsibilities—it’s a great experience to try!

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6. Have a Good Conversation with Someone of a Different Faith or Belief to Your Own.

Conversations like this helps us realise we’re not so different to other people, regardless of appearances.

7. Vote.

Have your say on how your home country is run. We really can’t complain if we have the democratic right to express our views, but don’t do so.

8. Dye Your Hair a Completely Different Colour.

Or change your hairstyle. One change that can make you feel like a different person.

9. Go to a Gay / Lesbian Club or Bar.

Or join in with a Pride parade/festival. If you’re gay, you could hang out at a straight bar.

10. Let Go of a Friendship.

Not all friendships are meant to last forever; some come into our lives and exist for different reasons at different times in our life. Holding on to a relationship that has run its course doesn’t do either of you any favours. Quality rather than quantity of friends is the important factor.

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11. Like Yourself.

The teen years are for exploring who you are, what you like, and how you tick. Now its time to embrace who you are: be proud of the unique self you have become.

12. Practice Being Charitable.

Giving is more rewarding than receiving. Consider volunteering at a home for the elderly, or donating a percentage of earnings to a charity that you feel is important. Something as simple as smiling more and being more friendly to the people in your life and strangers that you come across can make a big difference to both you and them.

13. Let the Grudge Go.

Holding resentment does more damage to you than anyone else. Let it go. Use your energy for more healthy pursuits.

14. Go on a Blind Date.

The excitement, the worry, the unknown outcome—who knows what may come of it? A blind date makes for a great story to tell friends, a learning experience and maybe even a great love.

15. Exercise.

Your body is not 18 anymore. All bodies age, and the punishment you might have applied to it in your teens and early twenties by excessive studying, partying, and having a chaotic lifestyle will not be so easy to recover from as you get older.

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16. Learn to Cook

Learning to cook, if you haven’t already, can be fun, good for your health, and your bank balance. Trying new recipes and developing a repertoire of easy, simple and healthy meals is a great start.

17. Learn to “Be”.

The Italians have a great word; “Asolare“. It means spending time in a meaningless but delightful way. Learn to just be, rather than always doing.

18. Save for Your Retirement.

The earlier we start, the greater the amount for your golden years. It may seem a long way off still, but the retired you will thank you for having started by now.

19. Camp Under the Stars.

Experience the wonder of our world, with just canvas separating you from mother nature. It puts everything back into perspective, especially when life gets clouded by all the trappings and complexities of the modern world.

20. Learn to Balance Your Finances.

Money can be an asset or a burden, but a lot depends on how you manage it. A few skills in the art of balancing your finances can have a big positive impact on your life.

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21. Wake up Somewhere Unfamiliar.

Enjoy the initial confusion, followed by the delighted feeling of having done something reckless, followed by the reality of “how do I get home?”.

22. Eat Exotic Food.

This is even better if it has an un-prounounceable name and is experienced in another country!

23. Buy a Ridiculously Expensive Item of Clothing.

Then leave it un-worn in the back of the closet. Keep it as an impulse buy; a reward to yourself; a “you deserve it” item you buy but never feel okay to wear but never get rid of because it cost so much.

24. Learn to Say No.

Learning to say “no”, is an important skill and one that can dramatically increase the quality of our lives.

25. Learn to Be Alone

Our relationship with ourselves is the most important one of our lives; we won’t spend as much time with anyone else! Learning to enjoy our own company and enjoy being alone is invaluable on so many levels.

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Jennifer Smith

Life Coach & Personal Growth Blogger

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Published on May 4, 2021

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

They say we are the average of the five persons we spend the most time with. For a minute, consider the people around you. Are they truly who your “tribe” should be or who you aspire to become in the future? Are they really genuine people who want to see you succeed? Or are they fake people who don’t really want to see you happy?

In this article, I’ll review why it is important to surround yourself with genuine individuals—the ones who care, bring something to our table, and first and foremost, who leave all fakeness behind.

How to Spot Fake People?

When you’ve been working in the helping professions for a while, spotting fake people gets a bit easier. There are some very clear signs that the person you are looking at is hiding something, acting somehow, or simply wanting to get somewhere. Most often, there is a secondary gain—perhaps attention, sympathy, or even a promotion.

Whatever it is, you’re better off working their true agenda and staying the hell away. Here are some things you should look out for to help spot fake people.

1. Full of Themselves

Fake people like to show off. They love looking at themselves in the mirror. They collect photos and videos of every single achievement they had and every part of their body and claim to be the “best at what they do.”

Most of these people are actually not that good in real life. But they act like they are and ensure that they appear better than the next person. The issue for you is that you may find yourself always feeling “beneath” them and irritated at their constant need to be in the spotlight.

2. Murky in Expressing Their Emotions

Have you ever tried having a deep and meaningful conversation with a fake person? It’s almost impossible. It’s because they have limited emotional intelligence and don’t know how they truly feel deep down—and partly because they don’t want to have their true emotions exposed, no matter how normal these might be.

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It’s much harder to say “I’m the best at what I do” while simultaneously sharing “average” emotions with “equal” people.

3. Zero Self-Reflection

To grow, we must accept feedback from others. We must be open to our strengths and to our weaknesses. We must accept that we all come in different shapes and can always improve.

Self-reflection requires us to think, forgive, admit fault, and learn from our mistakes. But to do that, we have to be able to adopt a level of genuineness and depth that fake people don’t routinely have. A fake person generally never apologizes, but when they do, it is often followed with a “but” in the next breath.

4. Unrealistic Perceptions

Fake people most often have an unrealistic perception of the world—things that they want to portray to others (pseudo achievements, materialistic gains, or a made-up sense of happiness) or simply how they genuinely regard life outside themselves.

A lot of fake people hide pain, shame, and other underlying reasons in their behavior. This could explain why they can’t be authentic and/or have difficulties seeing their environment for the way it objectively is (both good and bad).

5. Love Attention

As I mentioned earlier, the biggest sign that something isn’t quite right with someone’s behavior can be established by how much they love attention. Are you being interrupted every time you speak by someone who wants to make sure that the spotlight gets reverted back to them? Is the focus always on them, no matter the topic? If yes, you’re probably dealing with a fake person.

6. People Pleaser

Appreciation feels nice but having everyone like you is even better. While it is completely unrealistic for most people to please everyone all the time, fake people seem to always say yes in pursuit of constant approval.

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Now, this is a problem for two reasons. Firstly, these people are simply saying yes to things for their own satisfaction. Secondly, they often end up changing their minds or retracting their offer for one reason or another (“I would have loved to, but my grandmother suddenly fell ill.”), leaving you in the lurch for the 100th time this year.

7. Sarcasm and Cynicism

Behind the chronic pasted smile, fake people are well known for brewing resentment, jealousy, or anger. This is because, behind the postcard life, they are often unhappy. Sarcasm and cynicism are well known to act as a defense mechanism, sometimes even a diversion—anything so they can remain feeling on top of the world, whether it is through boosting themselves or bringing people down.

8. Crappy friend

Fake people are bad friends. They don’t listen to you, your feelings, and whatever news you might have to share. In fact, you might find yourself migrating away from them when you have exciting or bad news to share, knowing that it will always end up one way—their way. In addition, you might find that they’re not available when you truly need them or worse, cancel plans at the last minute.

It’s not unusual to hear that a fake person talks constantly behind people’s backs. Let’s be honest, if they do it to others, they’re doing it to you too. If your “friend” makes you feel bad constantly, trust me, they’re not achieving their purpose, and they’re simply not a good person to have around.

The sooner you learn to spot these fake people, the sooner you can meet meaningful individuals again.

How to Cope With Fake People Moving Forward?

It is important to remind yourself that you deserve more than what you’re getting. You are worthy, valuable, precious, and just as important as the next person.

There are many ways to manage fake people. Here are some tips on how to deal with them.

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1. Boundaries

Keep your boundaries very clear. As explained in the book Unlock Your Resilience, boundaries are what keep you sane when the world tries to suffocate you. When fake people become emotional vampires, make sure to keep your distances, limit contact, and simply replace them with more valuable interactions.

2. Don’t Take Their Behavior Personally

Sadly, they most likely have behaved this way before they knew you and will continue much longer after you have moved on. It isn’t about you. It is about their inner need to meet a void that you are not responsible for. And in all honesty, unless you are a trained professional, you are unlikely to improve it anyway.

3. Be Upfront and Honest About How You Feel

If your “friend” has been hurtful or engaged in behaviors you struggle with, let them know—nicely, firmly, however you want, but let them know that they are affecting you. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, you’ll feel better and when you’re ready to move on, you’ll know you tried to reach out. Your conscience is clear.

4. Ask for Advice

If you’re unsure about what you’re seeing or feeling, ask for advice. Perhaps a relative, a good friend, or a colleague might have some input as to whether you are overreacting or seeing some genuine concerns.

Now, don’t confuse asking for advice with gossiping behind the fake person’s back because, in the end, you don’t want to stoop down to their level. However, a little reminder as to how to stay on your own wellness track can never hurt.

5. Dig Deeper

Now, this one, I offer with caution. If you are emotionally strong, up to it, guaranteed you won’t get sucked into it, and have the skills to manage, perhaps you could dig into the reasons a fake person is acting the way they do.

Have they suffered recent trauma? Have they been rejected all their lives? Is their self-esteem so low that they must resort to making themselves feel good in any way they can? Sometimes, having an understanding of a person’s behavior can help in processing it.

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6. Practice Self-Care!

Clearly, putting some distance between the fake person and yourself is probably the way to go. However, sometimes, it takes time to get there. In the meantime, make sure to practice self-care, be gentle with yourself, and compensate with lots of positives!

Self-care can be as simple as taking a hot shower after talking to them or declining an invitation when you’re not feeling up to the challenge.

Spotting fake people isn’t too hard. They generally glow with wanna-be vibes. However, most often, there are reasons as to why they are like this. Calling their behavior might be the first step. Providing them with support might be the second. But if these don’t work, it’s time to stay away and surround yourself with the positivity that you deserve.

Final Thoughts

Remember that life is a rollercoaster. It has good moments, tough moments, and moments you wouldn’t change for the world. So, look around and make sure that you take the time to choose the right people to share it all with.

We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so take a good look around and choose wisely!

More Tips on Dealing With Fake People

Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

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