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20 Truths To Guide You To Happiness

20 Truths To Guide You To Happiness

Old legends and folklore say happiness can be found at the end of the rainbow together with a pot of gold. Unfortunately in today’s society, happiness is wrongfully measured and is directly proportional to material gain, financial wealth, status, sex, power and influence; and it is often seen as something external, something outside of us or something that will come down from the clouds or to become a golden age.

I am in favor of all the above mentioned virtues however; if we place all of them at the core of who we are we still have the main ingredient missing, happiness.

“Happiness does not depend on what you have

Or who you are. It solely relies of what you think” – Buddha

Happiness is a state of mind, an energy or vibration internal; it is very individual to each of us. It is a choice we make on a daily basis.

Here are the 20 Truths To Guide You To Happiness:

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See how beautiful you really are

You are an individual with a divine spark that makes you unique and wonderful. If you are having trouble understanding this, look in the mirror without judgement, without condemnation, without prejudice smile at yourself; tell yourself you are beautiful no matter what you look like. Think of the many times you have been shown kindness, love, compassion, take yourself back when you were a little boy or girl; tell that little boy or girl everything about them is OK and in your mind’s eye hug them, you will be pleasantly surprised. There is no doubt about it; there is no one else like you…..

Live in the present

We live in turbulent times, and the stresses of life cannot be ignored; often there are very few things we can control. Worrying about the future is as useless as regretting the past; we only have control of the now. There is wisdom in: “As you reap, so shall you sow” because every act of love, warmth and kindness will come back to you, often tenfold.

Tap into the power of your mind

We are all directors and script writers of our own lives; what we think about (or fear most) will manifest into our reality. Thoughts, images and emotions are very strong and only if we learn to control them can we use them to bring about what we want. The law of attraction is not just a New Age concept, this has also been covered in many Holy Religious texts such as The Bible.

If you constantly visualize success, abundance, love, peace and kindness you will bring it about.

I never thought I would find a positive use for the term “Thought Police” but this is what we must do in order to have happier and more fulfilling lives.

Allow yourself to feel

One of the things I love most about my wife is her ability to feel. While watching a movie right at the moment when the boy and girl find each other and kiss, tears of joy flow down her beautiful face. We have been conditioned by society to be cold, indifferent and suppress our emotions. Allowing ourselves to feel is what makes us human. There is no right or wrong in feeling the way you do.

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Let your faith be bigger than your fears when chasing dreams

Every great achievement started with an individual having a dream, please do not think for a moment you are a single drop in an infinite sea of humanness; you are powerful, beautiful and divine and all you need is a plan.

Writing down your goals and dreams is not enough, they must be broken down into measurable and easy to achieve steps. If you want to be a writer, start by researching, join a writing group and start small to build your skill set. Poetry is a great way to get your creative juices flowing.

Start acting like a writer, believing it is part of the process. Bring this simple analogy across to anything you want to manifest.

Reward yourself

Every now and then it is nice to treat ourselves to a small reward. Life is not just about working, there has to be time to enjoy the fruits of our labor. Personally, I treat myself when I have done a good deed or when I have achieved an important goal. When rewarding myself It gives me more of an incentive to keep achieving the goals I set for myself and do more acts of kindness. I must admit, I generally forgo my reward and buy my boys a nice toy, video game. trinket, etc. My wife also gets to benefit from this, it makes me happy.

Let go of what and who no longer serve you

Along life’s journey we have accumulated, beliefs, habits and people that at some point become irrelevant. Look back when you were twenty, do some of these beliefs still hold truth to you now?

We make friends along the way, but as life happens we change, do not be afraid to let go of people who do not bring out the best in you or are still in your life due to a sense of obligation; bless them and let them go, that is one way to heal and often the relationship takes on a much positive turn if you decide to stick around.

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Do more of what makes you happy

Doing more of what makes you happy is blissful and fulfilling. Our creativity is increased when we feel happy and purposeful. Hobbies are a great way to tap into that creative energy. Nature is a great place for de-stressing, hiking, surfing, playing sport, video gaming, movies, friends, wine, dancing, arts, etc. are awesome ways to give you a break from the daily grind.

Become your own best friend

Part of becoming our best friend is going easy on ourselves. Some of us have a tendency to be our toughest critics and not forgiving ourselves makes it harder to grow. Be kind to yourself, when a negative thought pops in your mind, ask yourself why you feel this way and then mentally embrace yourself and correct the negative thought. Find positive things you have done recently and focus on them. If you do this on a daily basis you will develop a healthy image of self and it will be impossible not to like the person staring back at you in the mirror.

Always stay close to everything that makes you thrilled to be alive

I am not advocating in favor of extreme sports, thrill seeking or any of that; but if you are into them good for you. My guilty pleasure is modern architecture, I love looking at beautiful homes, gardens and landscaping because it inspires me. I know of  people who are thrilled while helping others, others find delight in producing movies, documentaries or teaching others. What do you love doing that brings that inner child out and makes you thrilled to be alive?

Learn to love your own company

You are going to take yourself everywhere so you might as well start liking yourself. Find time to be completely alone, this can be done sitting under a tree, reading a book, listening to music, blogging, drawing, painting etc. but there must not be any other people around; make it intimate as it is a wonderful feeling being alone. By discovering who you are you begin to see yourself in others.

Don’t lose yourself in your fear

There is a lot of turmoil in the world; war, unemployment, bankruptcy, illness, zombies, end times you name it; guilt and fear are useless emotions because some of the things we fear most are not very likely to happen unless we program them into our subconscious mind. Remember that we bring about what we think of (or fear) most. I learned this from a spiritual teacher: “Some of these evils in the world might not be in your soul contract” meaning your destiny will be different to theirs. Send love and kindness to the victims of these horrible circumstances, do not be cold or indifferent, and help if you can.  Focus on what makes you happy instead and bring it into your life and the lives of the ones you love.

Don’t be afraid to give up what is no longer working

This time we will focus on de-cluttering our homes and lives. Possessions have a tendency to demand our energy and attention. Having too many possessions concentrated in one room is debilitating. Clear out your living space; give away to charity items like clothes, furniture, kids toys, etc. Not only are you freeing space in your home but also in your mind. There is satisfaction knowing some of your old possessions will be going to help others in need.

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Be aware of your position. What are you running away from, or what are you running to?

Have you noticed when you leave a job because of a certain type of boss, co-worker or working environment very often we wind up with the same type of boss, co-worker or working environment in our next job? This can be attributed to what is known as the “victim mentality” and we attract these types  of people/circumstances on a subconscious level. This is also applicable in relationships. So this is when you must have a hard look at yourself and stop the negative thoughts and programming engrained in your psyche by replacing that dated set of beliefs with ones you want to manifest in your life. If you want to work at a great company with a great bunch of people, feel it, taste it and allow it to be a reality.

Don’t allow your wounds to turn you into someone you are not

Bad things happen to good people, that is inevitable and this happens when we least expect it. Do not become bitter and resentful when tragedy strikes. When someone wronged us we must understand that by hating the person we are holding on to hate, resentment and fear which can potentially manifest in illness or even more tragedy. Mourn and allow yourself to feel angry, get it out of your system and move on, do not attract more of this by becoming sour, find ways to rise above it and be happy as we only live once.

Remember to forgive yourself

When we become the perpetrators and we wrong someone else, we can experience a deep sense of guilt even when we make ourselves believe they deserved it. If the person is no longer in your life, write a letter asking the person for your forgiveness. If you send it that is fine, but if you don’t it is also OK. There is an ethereal connection between people, and the other person somehow will begin to heal. Have you ever thought of a friend or loved one and suddenly got a phone call from them? Thought is a bridge between our minds.

Know you may not always get what you want, but you will ALWAYS get what you need

There are some things in life that no matter how much we visualize, feel and yearn for and will never be a part of our reality. We always want something, but it might not be what we need for our personal growth. Trust in the Universe’s wisdom, it knows what you need in order to flourish. There is a cause and effect for every choice we make in life. Also beware of what you wish for as it might come true.

Open up to love

To me this has been one of the hardest truths to accept, this is not just about external love but the love for myself. By opening up to love we choose it as being part of our daily lives, it can manifest in a short conversation with a stranger, being kind to our neighbors, doing something nice for your family. This also means allowing others to show love to you and feeling worthy of love. Love is not a word, it is a verb.

The world needs you as you are

I look at the beautiful people on TV and even though I admire their beauty, grace and talent, I don’t think I want to be them. They cannot do some of the things I can and they do not have my wicked sense of humor. I always had an inner knowing I am here for a reason, and as far as I know it is to love and provide for my family, influence others in a positive way with my design, writing and poetry, the world needs beauty, love and compassion; this is where I come in, how about you?

Empty your mind (meditate)

Meditation is not just sitting in a Lotus position and chanting mantras, meditation can be sitting comfortably on a chair to stare out the window, under a tree watching clouds, being in the dark looking into a flame. It is important to let your mind be passive and free from all the worries you carry with you. Your mind is like a computer; if you keep storing data at some point it is going to fill its hard drive and then will crash; your mind is no different.

By emptying your mind you can also let go of dated ideas, concepts and beliefs giving room for newer and more relevant ones. Meditation is a great way to get the creative juices flowing and we tap into a much greater source of wisdom, try it and you will not regret it.

More by this author

Louis Salguero

UX, HCD, UCD, GUI, graphic and web designer

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Last Updated on September 30, 2020

How to Live a Stress Free Life in a Way Most People Don’t

How to Live a Stress Free Life in a Way Most People Don’t

Learning how to live a stress free life may seem impossible, but the truth is that there are specific things you can do to begin eliminating sources of stress.

No, it doesn’t look like a made-for-television movie. No, it doesn’t look like something only people with extra time and money can do. It looks like your life—but without any self-created stress triggers.

Here are 11 ways to help you live a stress-free life:

1. Stop Overanalyzing Situations That Haven’t Happened

The first step to living a stress-free life is to stop overanalyzing imaginary scenarios. It’s easy to spend time in the world of worst-case scenarios. People tend to cultivate this world for one of two reasons.

First, because if you know what the worst-case scenario is, then it won’t surprise you when it happens. Second, if you know what the worst-case scenario is, then you can do everything in your power to control the universe so the worst case never happens.

If that’s really the world you want to cultivate, then become a professional risk assessor. If not, then ask yourself how you are benefiting from continuing to live that way.

Does it make you feel better about yourself and your life? Does it make you want to leap out of bed in the morning, eager to embrace the worst-case scenario? Does it bring you joy or fulfillment?

If your answer to these three questions is no, then stop living in the future and bring yourself back into the present.

2. Don’t Take on Other People’s Problems

The whole advantage of other people having problems is that they aren’t your problems. When you frequently take on other people’s problems, you get into the habit of enabling.

Let’s get crystal clear about the definition of enabling: enabling is the art of continuing to take responsibility for other people, thereby disallowing their personal responsibility[1].

It is of no service to other people to take on their problems because they can’t/won’t/don’t know how to fix the problem.

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It is of service to empower others to take responsibility for themselves and their lives, to encourage, teach, and motivate others to address their own problems. So stop enabling, and start empowering.

3. Get Present in the Moment

Being present in the moment involves being in your body and feeling your feelings—two things that lots of folks actually don’t know how to do.

Ask yourself these two questions: What does fear feel like in your body? What are you afraid of?

If you don’t know the answer to these questions, you probably aren’t present in the moment. Being present involves vulnerability, humility, and openness[2].

How to live a stress free life by being present

    The past and the future stop being so relevant and intriguing when you’re able to get in your body and feel your feelings. When you can do these two things, you actually want to be in the present moment.

    To get started, close your eyes, focus on your breathing, and watch your stress levels drop. Then, try these tips: How to Live in the Moment and Stop Worrying.

    4. Focus on What You Have, Not What You Don’t

    The easiest way to stop focusing on what you don’t have is by not watching TV commercials. Marketing teaches us to focus on what we don’t have, and advertising campaigns spend millions of dollars convincing us that we must have what we don’t yet have.

    Can you think of a marketing campaign that teaches you to enjoy what you already have without buying something to enhance it? Odds are you can’t.

    In a world dictated by Super Bowl commercials and Facebook ads, it takes stalwart focus to recognize what you have more than what you don’t. If you want a stress-free life now, get stalwart, and stop letting other people dictate your focus.

    In order to do this, try cultivating a gratitude practice to help refocus your mind toward what is good in your life. You can get started with this guide.

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    5. Stop Surrounding Yourself With People Who Don’t Make You Happy

    Honestly, what kind of people do you really like to be around with? People who get you, who see you clearly, who accept your flaws and all; people you can be yourself with; people who have shared interests?

    How many of those people are in your life? What characteristics do all of the other people in your life have?

    If you find that the people in your life aren’t adding anything positive, it may be time to make some changes. If you find that other relationships you have are downright toxic, start working to cut out those relationships immediately.

    6. Find a Job That Makes You Feel Good

    You don’t have to stay at a job just because it pays the bills. Most people spend more time working than sleeping. The average person spends 40 to 80 hours a week—or 2,000 to 4,000 hours a year—working. That is a significant investment!

    If your best friend or child told you that they were going to spend 4,000 hours giving their emotional, mental, and physical energy to something (or someone) that wasn’t going to value them, give anything back to them, or pay them what they were worth, what advice would you offer? Give that same advice to yourself. You won’t be stress-free unless you don’t learn this[3].

    Here’re 11 Signs That You Should Leave Your Job.

    7. Only Take on What You Can Handle

    Busyness is an addiction. Slowing down can actually be terrifying because it causes you to notice that you have feelings that you now have time to feel.

    I get it.

    By the time I slowed down, I had decades of busyness under my belt. I went into a tailspin depression because I didn’t understand how to be in the right relationship with my own emotions.

    When I finally figured out that feelings are just feelings and allowing them to express themselves is healthy and natural, I stopped experiencing withdrawal from my addiction to busyness and started figuring out the pace of life that felt best for me.

    Remarkably, I discovered that I don’t actually like being busy. What will you discover about yourself?

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    8. Let Go of Grudges and Anger

    For me, it took 20 years of adulthood to figure out that holding on to grudges and anger only hurt me. Lucky for you, though, you can benefit vicariously from my experience just by reading one short paragraph!

    No one is holding your feet to the fire, demanding that you hold on to grudges and anger. The energy of anger slowly eats away at your body, mind, and spirit, until one day you wake up more resentful than optimistic.

    One day, people no longer want to be around you because the stink of negativity is oozing out of your pores. One day, you even get tired of hearing yourself get angry. And the person or people you are angry at or holding grudges against probably haven’t been affected at all.

    Who gets hurt the most in that process of repeating negative thoughts? You do.

    Some good advice for you here: How to Let Go of Resentment and Anger

    9. Stop Reliving Your Past

    To live a stress-free life, you have to stop reliving your past. I know it seems like fun to compare everything in your present to your past, and to experience the present through past-colored glasses, but it actually isn’t.

    When you wear past-colored glasses, you can’t truly experience the present for what it is. Your boyfriend or girlfriend gets compared to a list of expectations and failed relationships rather than recognized for the unique blessing they are in your life.

    Your boss gets compared to all the bosses who came before her/him. Your friends’ ability to parent gets compared to your parents’ ability to parent.

    People, including you, deserve to stand on their own past-free merit.

    10. Don’t Complain About Things You Can’t Change

    There are always going to be people elected into office whom you don’t like, taxes that you don’t want to pay, idiot drivers who refuse to move out of the left-hand lane, and a person ahead of you in the check-out line who won’t stop chatting with the clerk.

    The great benefit of being human is that we get to experience all of what life offers us. To live stress-free is to learn to deal with this fact.

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    Dwelling on your frustration with something that can’t be changed doesn’t do anything other than drag you down. You are the only person who will ultimately decide how to respond to what is.

    11. Stop Living Through Other People’s Lives

    Someone else’s life is not your life. Your life is your life.

    What that means is you get to live your life in the way you want. You get to make ridiculous mistakes, take leaps of faith, and stuff things inside your handbag of fear just as much as the next person.

    Going through stuff is the whole great messy adventure of being human! Being alive and living life is terrifying and glorious and everything in between.

    Stop living through social media, trying to soak in all of the experiences everyone else is having. Focus, instead, on what it feels like to be you in this moment. You may find you like it.

    Final Thoughts

    An astounding thing happens when you reduce stress and anxiety, get into a relationship with your body, mind, and spirit, and just be yourself without judgment.

    Your life literally slows down. You stop wishing for the weekend. You begin to live in each moment, and you start feeling like a human being. You just ride the wave that is life, with this feeling of contentment and joy.

    You move fluidly, steadily, calmly, and gratefully. A veil is lifted, and a whole new perspective is born through improved mental health. And this is how you live a stress-free life.

    More Tips on How to Live a Stress-Free Life

    Featured photo credit: Drew Coffman via unsplash.com

    Reference

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