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20 Amazing Things Only People Who Have a Big Sister Would Understand

20 Amazing Things Only People Who Have a Big Sister Would Understand

Growing up, sisters played a part in our development. Having an older sister was a plus rather than a minus. The early years may have been awkward, but both of you came to understand why you have to always be together and be there for each other. Through these times, there are amazing memories that will forever be a part of you.

1. You had someone to protect you.

In the mission to become a better person and enjoy the adventures life has to offer, your older sister was there to have your back. She didn’t just protect you; she also made sure you were always safe from the terror of the world.

2. You had someone to look up to.

An older sister is there to act as a pacesetter to all the achievements you will forever make. If she was getting a C, you had to get an A. At least there was something to look up to and records you had to surpass.

3. She was the mother when your parents were not around.

You never had to be lonely when your parents were gone. She stood as a shield and quickly took on the mantle of responsibility in making sure you were well taken care of.

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4. There was someone to be proud of.

Whether you felt intimidated or envious when she graduated sum cum laude from a prestigious college or not, you had something to share on your Instagram page.

5. You had someone you could call when you got knocked down.

Life has its way of throwing stones at us. However having an older sister made sure you were not overwhelmed with the frustrating times and you were not beaten by them. You had someone to give a call to provide an illumination when it all seemed dark.

6. There were clothes and toys that you could borrow.

Your sister’s items could also be borrowed and you could feel proud wearing her shoes or clothes to that dinner party because she shared her best items with you.

7. There was someone to give you a good laugh.

You knew your sister wouldn’t fake or pretend. She was always herself around you. That was why humor between the two of you was real and clear.

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8. She offered solid advice about the opposite sex.

Yes, she has been through it all, and she could relate with any issues you have about the opposite sex. She never restrained from telling you what she knew. And oh, how this proved beneficial.

9. There were ugly times, but both of you conquered.

There were disagreements and sometimes, it was not just okay between you two. However, you knew how important it was for you to stick together and pummel through the ugly times and build something everlasting.

10. She never forgot your birthdays.

It hurt your feelings when others forgot to recognize such special moments in your life, but to your older sister, it was a duty not only to remember your birthday, but to make sure you got a special gift.

11. She gave you the best graduation party.

She was someone who cherished your achievements just as much as you cherished hers. She was there on your graduation day and made that photo complete.

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12. She wanted the best future for you.

Yes, there were times when you just didn’t feel right about what will happen next and did not know what direction your future would take. But she made a future with you. If there was any opportunity, she let you know about it. She planned what would be the best option for you to take.

13. She loved you unconditionally.

It wasn’t about the circumstance being favorable or not. It wasn’t about if she was positive or negative about what choices you were making. She loved you unconditionally and supported you all the way.

14. She was there to build your character.

Having a bigger sister doesn’t mean that you had someone who pampered you outrageously. There were also limitations. If you had to be in your room when her friends were around, that was it. Somehow these limitations made you see the reality of dealing with people and how you could rise above an obstacle.

15. She covered for you.

Sometimes when things went wrong in the house, you never took the blame—your older sister did. She could be scolded or grounded, but that didn’t stop her from going on another risky adventure with you.

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16. You were popular in school because your older sister made it so.

Before your first day in school, you were already expected. People referred to you as so-and-so’s sister and somehow you got shielded from all the bullies who would have been happy to take a shot at you.

17. She made a fool of you sometimes.

You would never have taken her too seriously, right? Because despite all her accusations of you being the adopted one, she was only trying to pull a fast one on you and make you look stupid.

18. She was the best babysitter you ever had.

There were other babysitters but she was a special babysitter. Because after the curtains came down, she was the most consistent babysitter you ever had.

19. She was your best friend.

There were secrets between you two—secrets your parents will never hear about. And these secrets bonded you better and made you best friends.

20. She challenged you to become the best person you could be.

Looking back now at all the memories and all the times you spent together and played together, you can’t help but admit that your sister defined and shaped a part of you. She challenged you and gave you more understanding than any teacher would ever give you.

Featured photo credit: Two sisters in green on grass, st patricks day via shutterstock.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on March 30, 2020

What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It)

What Does Self-Conscious Mean? (And How to Stop Being It)

Have you ever walked into a room and felt like your nerves simply couldn’t handle it? Your heart beats fast, you start to sweat, and you feel like all eyes are on you (even if they’re really not). This is just one of the many ways that being self-conscious can rear its ugly head.

You may not even realize you’re self-conscious, and you may be wondering, “What does self-conscious mean?” That’s a good place to start.

This article will define self-consciousness, show how practically everyone has faced it at one point or another, and give you tips to avoid it.

What Does Self-Conscious Mean?

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, self-conscious is defined as “conscious of one’s own acts or states as belonging to or originating in oneself.”[1]

Not so bad, right? There’s another definition, though — one that speaks more to what you’re going through: “feeling uncomfortably conscious of oneself as an object of the observation of others.” For those of us who regularly deal with extreme self-consciousness, that second definition sounds about right.

There are many different ways self-consciousness can spring up. You may feel self-conscious around people you know, like your family members or closest friends. You may feel self-conscious at work, even though you spend hours every week around your co-workers. Or you may feel self-conscious when out in public and surrounded by strangers. However, you probably don’t feel self-conscious when you’re home alone.

How to Stop Being Too Self-Conscious

When you’re in the throes of self-consciousness, it’s nearly impossible to remember how to stop feeling that way. That’s why it’s so important to prepare ahead of time, when you’re feeling ready to tackle the problem instead of succumbing to it.

Here are a variety of ways to feel better about yourself and stop thinking about how others see you.

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1. Ask Yourself, “So What?”

One way to banish negative, self-conscious thoughts is to do just that: banish them.

The next time you walk into a room and feel your face getting red, think to yourself, “So what?” How much does it really matter if people don’t like how you look or act? What’s the worst that could happen?

Most of the time, you’ll find that you don’t have a good answer to this question. Then, you can immediately start assigning such thoughts less importance. With self-awareness, you can acknowledge that your negative thoughts are present and realize that you don’t agree with them.[2] They’re just thoughts, after all.

2. Be Honest

A lie that self-consciousness might tell is that there’s one way to act or feel. Honestly, though, everyone else is just figuring life out as well. There isn’t a preferred way to show up to an event, gathering, or public place. What you can do is be honest with your feelings and thoughts.[3]

If you feel offended by something someone says, you don’t have to smile to be polite or laugh to fit in with the crowd. Instead, you can politely say why you disagree or excuse yourself and find a group of people who you relate to better. If you’re nervous, don’t overcompensate by trying to look relaxed and casual — it’ll be obvious you’re putting on a front. Instead, nothing is more endearing than saying, “I’m a little nervous!” to a room of people who probably feel the exact same way.

On the same note, if you don’t understand why someone wants you to do something, question it. You can do this at work, at home, or even with people you don’t know well. Nobody should force you to do something you don’t want to do.

Also, even if you’re willing to do what’s asked of you, there’s nothing wrong with asking for more clarification. People will realize that you’re not a person to be bossed around.

3. Understand Why You’re Struggling at Work

Being self-conscious at work can get in the way of your daily responsibilities, your relationships with co-workers, and even your career as a whole. If you’re facing some sort of conflict but you’re too nervous to speak up, you may be at the whim of what happens to you instead of taking some control.

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If you’re usually confident at work, you may be wondering where this new self-consciousness is coming from. It’s possible that you’re dealing with burnout.[4] Common signs are anxiety, fatigue and distraction, all of which can leave you feeling under-confident.

4. Succeed at Something

When you create success in your life, it’s easier to feel confident[5] and less self-conscious. If you feel self-conscious at work, finish the project that’s been looming over your head. If you feel self-conscious in the gym, complete an advanced workout class.

Exposing yourself to what you’re scared of and then succeeding at it in some way (even just by finishing it) can do wonders for your self-esteem. The more confidence you build, the more likely you are to have more success in the future, which will create a cycle of confidence-building.

5. Treat All of You — Not Just Your Self-Consciousness

Trying to solve your self-consciousness alone may not treat the root of the problem. Instead, take a well-rounded approach to lower your self-consciousness and build confidence in areas where you may struggle.

Even professional counselors are embracing this holistic type of treatment[6] because they feel that the health of the mind and body are inextricably linked. This approach combines physical, spiritual, and psychological components. Common activities and treatments include meditation, yoga, massage, and healthy changes to diet and exercise.

If much of this is new to you, it will pay to give it a try. You never know how it will impact you.

If you’re feeling self-conscious about how your body looks, a massage that makes you feel great could boost your confidence. If you try a new workout, you could have something exciting to talk about the next time you’re in a group setting.

Putting yourself in a new situation and learning that you can get through it with grace can give you the confidence to get through all sorts of events and nerve-wracking moments.

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6. Make the Changes That Are Within Your Control

Let’s say you walk into a room and you’re self-conscious about how you look. However, you may have put a lot of time and effort into your outfit. Even though it may stand out, this is how you have chosen to express yourself.

You have to work on your internal confidence, not your external appearance. There’s nothing to change other than your outlook.

On the other hand, maybe there’s something that you don’t like about yourself that you can change. For example, maybe you hate how a birthmark on your face looks or have varicose veins that you think are unsightly. If you can do something about these things, do it! There’s nothing wrong with changing your appearance (or skills, education, etc.) if it’s going to make you more confident.

You don’t have to accept your current situation for acceptance’s sake. There’s no award for putting up with something you hate. Confidence is also required to make changes that are scary, even if they’re for the better. Plus, it may be an easier fix than you thought. For example, treating varicose veins doesn’t have to involve surgery — sometimes simple compression stockings will take care of the problem.[7]

7. Realize That Everyone Has Awkward Moments

Everyone has said something awkward to someone else and lived to tell the tale. We’ve all forgotten somebody’s name or said, “You too!” when the concession stand girl says to enjoy our movie. Not only are these things uber-common, but they’re not nearly as embarrassing as you feel they are.

Think about how you react when someone else does something awkward. Do you think, “Wow, that person’s such a loser!” or do you think, “What a relief, I’m not the only one who does that.” Chances are good that’s the same reaction others have to you when you stumble.

Remember, self-consciousness is a state of mind that you have control over. You don’t have to feel this way. Do what you need to in order to build your confidence, put your self-consciousness in perspective, and start exercising your “I feel awesome about myself” muscle. It’ll get easier with time.

When Is Being Self-Conscious a Good Thing?

Self-consciousness can sometimes be a good thing[8], but you have to take the awkwardness and nerves out of it.

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In this case, “self-aware” is a much better term. Knowing how you come off to people is an excellent trait; you’ll be able to read a room and understand how what you do and say affects others. These are fantastic skills for people work and personal relationships.

Self-awareness helps you dress appropriately for the occasion, tells you that you’re talking too loud or not loud enough, and guides a conversation so you don’t offend or bore anyone.

It’s not about being someone you’re not — that can actually have adverse effects, just like self-consciousness. Instead, it’s about turning up certain aspects of yourself to perform well in the situation.

Final Thoughts

When you’re self-conscious, you’re constantly battling with yourself in an effort to control how other people view you. You try to change yourself to suit what you think other people want to see.

The truth, though, is that you can’t actually control how other people view you — and you may not even be correct about how they view you in the first place.

Being confident doesn’t happen overnight. Instead, it happens in small steps as you slowly build your confidence and say “no” to your self-consciousness. It also requires accepting that you’re going to feel self-conscious sometimes, and that’s okay.

Sometimes worrying that there is a problem can be more stressful than the problem itself. Feeling bad for feeling self-conscious can be more troublesome than simply feeling it and getting on with the day.

Forgive yourself for being human and make the small changes that will lead to better confidence in the future.

More Tips for Improving Your Self-Esteem

Featured photo credit: Cata via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Merriam-Webster: Self-conscious
[2] Bustle: 7 Tips On How To Stop Feeling Self-Conscious
[3] Marc and Angel: 10 Things to Remember When You Feel Unsure of Yourself
[4] Bostitch: How to Protect Small Businesses From Burnout
[5] Psychology Today: Self-conscious? Get Over It
[6] Wake Forest University: Embracing Holistic Medicine
[7] Center for Vein Restoration: What Causes Venous Ulcers, and How Are They Treated?
[8] Scientific American: The Pros and Cons of Being Self-Aware

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