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15 Things Self-Destructive People Do That Makes Their Life Harder

15 Things Self-Destructive People Do That Makes Their Life Harder

Have you ever wondered why some people seem to have a really difficult time in life? Have you often thought that they should turn their life around? Well, we have, and here are 15 things we’ve noticed that self-destructive people do that makes their life much harder.

1. They are friends with people who bring them down.

Self-destructive people often surround themselves with other self-destructive people. Sadly, in most cases, the friends they have are often the ones to help them along their journey in a negative way. It would be difficult for a self-destructive person to be friends with someone who would motivate them to do the right thing.

2.They don’t need any help.

People with problems, such as drug or alcohol addiction, are always inclined to say, “I don’t need help.” In reality, these are the people who need the most help – they are just unable or unwilling to realize it.

3. They turn to alternate methods for coping.

Many self-destructive people who suffer from mental issues, such as depression, often look for other ways to cope with their problems. In many cases, they turn to alcohol or drugs, which allow them to forget the problem for the moment. Unfortunately, this doesn’t help them deal with the real issues, and often creates new ones.

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4. They date the wrong kind of people.

Self-destructive individuals often have low self-esteem. For this reason, they often choose partners who help make their self-image thoughts come true. In many cases, they will allow themselves to become victims of sexual, physical, and mental abuse because the person they’re with always says, “I’m sorry,” “I love you,” and, “I won’t ever do that again.” Being in a relationship like this will just bring you down further and further.

5. They spend money on wants not necessarily needs.

People can also be financially self-destructive. These types of people often spend money on items they want, such as designer clothes, a fancy car, and the latest technological devices. However, they often neglect the things that are really important, such as bills, a home, and food.

6. They repeatedly make the same mistakes.

It is in most people’s nature to learn from their mistakes and not make the same one twice. This is not true with self-destructive individuals. Instead, they continually make the same mistake twice, whether it’s doing drugs, drinking and driving, or being careless about their sexual behavior.

7. They live in the moment.

Although most people try to live in the moment, they mean that they’re enjoying the time they have today. However, they also think about the consequences of their actions. Individuals who are self-destructive don’t think about the consequences of their actions, and only think about what they are thinking and feeling in the exact moment they make a decision, often ruining relationships around them.

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8. They are habitual liars.

People who are self-destructive are often habitual liars. In fact, they often find themselves lying to cover up lies, forgetting what they have lied about and to whom. They are definitely people who cannot be trusted.

9. They feel they have no positive assets.

Similar to self-esteem, self-destructive individuals only believe in and focus on their flaws. In fact, they feel they have no added value to give the world, and believe there is no point in striving to be a better person.

10. They often lack good hygiene habits.

This does not mean that every self-destructive person doesn’t shower, but they may not take care of themselves otherwise. For instance, they may be lacking a good tooth brushing and dental flossing, as well as other grooming habits, such as shaving or combing their hair.

11. They seclude themselves from the ones who love them most.

One of the most difficult aspects of being around a self-destructive person is being someone who truly loves them for who they were and are. Self-destructive individuals tend to seclude them from the ones who love them most, as they are the ones who would offer to help them, or get them the help they need to become better.

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12. They have no ambition in life.

Due to their low self-esteem, self-destructive individuals have no ambition in life. They feel they can’t accomplish anything, so what’s the point in trying, and that’s something they simply don’t do. They often can’t hold a job, and if they do, it’s not usually an upstanding position.

13. They are often seriously unhealthy.

In combination with the bad habits they develop – drugs and alcohol abuse – they often forgo making other healthy decisions. They don’t eat foods that are good for them, if they even eat, and they definitely don’t consult a physician when they aren’t feeling well, even if it could be something serious.

14. They start fights for no reason.

Because they don’t focus on the consequences of their actions, they tend to pick fights for no reason. Oftentimes, they focus on the biggest person in the room, thinking they will be the one to show them a lesson, even though there’s really no chance. They thrive on violence and anger.

15. They steal and cheat.

Again, most self-destructive individuals aren’t upstanding citizens. Because they don’t hold a job or care about consequences, they often partake in illegal activities, such as stealing, and are often cheaters, whether in competition or relationships.

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Self-destructive behavior is bad. Not only are these people taking themselves down, they also take down the people around them who love them. Essentially, their poor behavior and bad decisions destroy everything around them.

Featured photo credit: Vieja via Shots of Insight

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Last Updated on October 17, 2019

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

You see your partner every single day. They are the first person you talk to in the morning and the last person you kiss goodnight.

But does seeing each other day in and day out equal a healthy relationship? Not necessarily.

Spending quality time with your partner is the best way to ensure your relationship stays healthy and strong. This means going above and beyond sitting together while you watch Netflix or going out for the occasional dinner. You deserve more from your relationship – and so does your spouse!

What does quality time mean? It means spending time with your spouse without interruption. It’s a chance for you to come together and talk. Communication will build emotional intimacy and trust.

Quality time is also about expressing love in a physical way. Not sex, necessarily (but that’s great, too!) but through hand-holding, cuddling, caressing, and tickling. Studies show that these displays of affection will boost partner satisfaction.[1]

So how do you spend quality time with your partner? Here are 13 relationship tips on making the most out of your time with your partner.

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1. Recognize the Signs

If you want a healthy relationship, you have to learn how to recognize the signs that you need to spend more quality time together.

Some telltale signs include:

  • You’re always on your phones.
  • You value friendships or hobbies over quality time with your spouse.
  • You aren’t together during important events.
  • You are arguing more often or lack connection.
  • You don’t make plans or date nights.
  • You’re not happy.

If you are experiencing any of these relationship symptoms, know that quality time together can reverse the negative effects of the signs above.

2. Try New Things Together

Have you ever wanted to learn how to play an instrument or speak another language? How about skydive or ballroom dance?

Instead of viewing these as solo hobbies and interests, why not involve your partner?

Trying new activities together builds healthy relationships because it encourages spouses to rely on one another for emotional and physical support.

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Shared hobbies also promote marital friendship, and the Journal of Happiness Studies found that marital satisfaction was twice as high for couples who viewed each other as best friends.[2]

3. Schedule in Tech-Free Time

Your phone is a great way to listen to music, watch videos, and keep up-to-date with friends and family. But is your phone good for your relationship?

Many couples phone snub, or ‘phub’, one another. Studies show that phubbing can lower relationship satisfaction and increase one’s chances of depression.[3]

Reduce those chances by removing distractions when spending quality time together and showing your partner they have your full attention.

4. Hit the Gym as a Couple

One way you can spend more time together as a couple is by becoming workout partners. Studies show that couples are more likely to stay with their exercise routine if they work out together.[4] Couples also work out harder than they would solo. One study found that 95 percent of couples who work out together maintained weight loss compares to the 66 percent of singles who did.[5]

Join a gym, do at-home couples’ workouts, try couples yoga, hit the hiking trails, or get your bikes out. No matter which way you choose to exercise, these healthy activities can promote a healthy relationship.

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5. Cook Meals Together

Pop open a bottle of wine or put some romantic music on while you get busy – in the kitchen, of course!

One of the best relationship tips for spending quality time together when you both have busy schedules is to cook meals together.[6]

Spice things up and try and prepare a four-course meal or a fancy French dish together. Not only is this a fun way to spend your time together, but it also promotes teamwork.

If all goes well, you’ll have a romantic date night meal at home that you prepared with your four hands. And if the food didn’t turn out the way you’d hoped, you are guaranteed to have a laugh and create new memories together.

6. Have a Regular Date Night

Couples experience a greater sense of happiness and less stress when they are spending quality time together.[7] One of the biggest relationship tips for a healthy partnership is to include a date night in your weekly routine.

The National Marriage Project found that having a weekly date night can make your relationship seem more exciting and helps prevent relationship boredom.[8] It also lowers the probability of divorce, improves your sex life, and increases healthy communication.

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Some great ideas for what to do on your date night include:

  • Have a movie marathon – Gather up your favorite flicks and cuddle up on the couch.
  • Play games together – Cards, board games, video games, and other creative outlets are a fun way to spend quality time together.
  • Recreate your first date – Go back to that restaurant and order the same meal you did when you first got together. You can spice up your evening by pretending you’re strangers meeting for the first time and see how sexy the night gets.
  • Plan a weekend getaway – There’s nothing better than traveling with the one you love.
  • Dinner and a movie – A classic!
  • Try a new restaurant – Make it your mission to rate and try all of the Mexican restaurants/Irish pubs/Italian trattorias in your area.
  • Have a long sex session – Intimacy promotes the release of the oxytocin hormone which is responsible for a myriad of great feelings.[9]

Here’re even more date night ideas for your reference: 50 Unique and Really Fun Date Ideas for Couples

Final Thoughts

The benefits of spending quality time together are endless. Here are just some of the ways it can contribute to a healthy relationship:

  • Improves emotional and physical intimacy
  • Lowers divorce rates
  • Improves communication
  • Reduces marital boredom
  • Bonds couples closer
  • Improves friendship
  • Boosts health
  • Reduces stress

These are all excellent reasons to start making date night a regular part of your week.

It’s easy to have a healthy relationship when you set aside dedicated time to share with your spouse. Try new things together, make your spouse your workout buddy, and look for innovative ways to be close and connected.

These relationship tips will bring great benefits to your marriage.

Featured photo credit: Allen Taylor via unsplash.com

Reference

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