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15 Things People Who Have No Regrets Don’t Do

15 Things People Who Have No Regrets Don’t Do

Living with no regrets is freeing. It means not worrying and stressing over every little thing and, most importantly, it means that you don’t look back on something and wish it had gone another way. Living without regrets lets you live in the moment while remembering things that were positive in some way or another. In order to give up a life with regrets, follow these examples of 15 things people who live without regrets don’t do.

1. They don’t give up.

People who have no regrets don’t give up. “Try, try again” is a saying that they live by. Yes, there is a point at which you should recognize if something isn’t working out, but giving up after one try is something you might regret. Persevere and, even if things don’t work out, you at least won’t regret not trying harder for what you wanted.

2. They don’t avoid talking about things.

If something is bothering you, absolutely talk it out with whoever you’re having a problem. Make sure you’re kind and respectful, but don’t think that you need to just ignore a problem because you want to avoid confrontation. If you think you need to talk about something with someone, you should absolutely do it. You don’t want to look back and realize you lost your chance.

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3. They don’t stay home.

I love pajamas and Netflix just as much as the next person, but being a homebody might lead to some major regrets down the road. Whatever age you are now, you’ll never be that age again. You need to live your life to the fullest while you can.

4. They don’t wait for others to do something.

You don’t always have to wait for the other person to text you/apologize/invite you somewhere/call you/visit you. Relationships are a two-way street, so don’t wait around for others to make plans. Make them yourself! There’s nothing worse than feeling like you missed out on an experience simply because you didn’t take the initiative.

5. They don’t strive for perfection.

Perfection is not real. Repeat after me: perfection is not real. Memorize that phrase, write it on a sticky note and put it on your mirror, recite it daily. Strive for excellence in all that you do, but perfection is not something you should concern yourself with. Do your best and take pride in your work, but get that notion of perfection out of your brain.

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6. They don’t get caught up in drama.

Trust me, you will absolutely regret getting dragged into drama. It’s never fun and it never ends well for anyone involved. Just step away from the issue and be the bigger person.

7. They don’t avoid telling the truth.

Eventually, the guilt will make you regret telling that lie. Little white lies are fine, and sometimes necessary, but try to be honest and open with the people you talk to.

8. They don’t ignore their responsibilities.

While it can be nice to shirk on some of your less-than-exciting duties, people who live without regrets are able to do so by making sure they get everything done that needs to be done. This not only instills a sense of accomplishment, but also ensures that nothing goes wrong in the future. After all, responsibilities are important.

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9. They don’t stress out.

Stress can really take a toll on a person. In order to live without regrets, try to focus on the positives in life. Take things as they come and don’t get too overwhelmed.

10. They don’t skimp on their health.

Exercising and eating right are important aspects of a healthy lifestyle. You definitely don’t want to regret living an unhealthy lifestyle, especially as it’s bound to catch up to you.

11. They don’t avoid people.

People who live without regrets are often very personable and friendly. This is because they realize that they only have so much time on this earth to meet people and engage with others. Try to talk to people, even if it’s just for a moment, and you’ll be happy you did.

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12. They don’t envy others.

Always look up to other people, but never let jealousy consume your life. It’s not worth your time.

13. They don’t forget the simple pleasures in life.

It can be easy to forget the simple things in life that we take for granted, but living without regrets for many people means stopping and learning to appreciate these things for what they are.

14. They don’t stray from their moral compass.

It’s very hard to avoid regret when you’re straying from your moral beliefs. Whatever they may be, you should stick to them to make sure you won’t make any decisions that might not be in your best interest.

15. They don’t say no too often.

The biggest thing about living without regret is learning when to say yes. Saying no too often leads to missed opportunities and missed connections with others. Learn to say yes to people and you’ll live a much happier life. You won’t look back and think you missed out on something if you make sure you say yes.

Featured photo credit: big mess/M via flickr.com

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Maggie Heath

Maggie is a passionate writer who blogs about communication and lifestyle on Lifehack.

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Last Updated on July 15, 2020

How to Let Go of Toxic People in Your Life

How to Let Go of Toxic People in Your Life

“Entitlement is an expression of conditional love. Nobody is ever entitled to your love. You always have a right to protect your mental, emotional, and physical well-being by removing yourself from toxic people and circumstances.” -Dr. Janice Anderson & Kiersten Anderson

It’s not always obvious if you have someone toxic in your life. A toxic relationship is one that is harmful to you. A toxic person can create distress to the degree you feel inadequate and isolated. So, what makes a toxic person?

A toxic person has toxic behavior, meaning it’s not that the whole person is toxic[1]. It’s what they do that counts. Most toxic people run from accountability and misrepresent reality to you. They misrepresent your worth and your ability to heal from them can be stifled the longer you keep them in your life. You have a role to play with it as well; if your values are dismissed by them and you don’t act on it, you have allowed room for toxicity to grow.

When you are in a toxic relationship, you feel less than. You feel as though you are not worth anyone’s time or effort. You feel unheard, and sometimes you feel unsafe. You don’t feel good about yourself in a toxic relationship, whether it be with a partner, friend, or family member.

You may stay in a toxic relationship for a number of reasons. You may believe yourself to be a burden, have a lack of boundaries, resist change, fear conflict, try to be a people pleaser, find yourself codependent, or are partially stuck in a pattern or unhealthy cycle of abuse.

Letting go of toxic people may not be easy. In order to do so, you have to know why or how they are toxic to you and read between the lines that they do not have your best interests in mind.

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Letting go of toxic people is hard because you are good and want to see the good in others. You think their apologies are authentic. You have trouble believing they are being dishonest. You don’t spend time healing from it. You get pulled back into the pain because you don’t want it to end. However, if you feel like something isn’t right, it probably isn’t right.

You should walk away from a toxic person because you need to preserve your peace. You need to feel like yourself again. And you need better support.

Letting go of toxic people can involve four major steps.

1. Recognize the Red Flags

Red flags are signs a person is being toxic. It’s when someone shows characteristics that you should feel caution about. It’s when you feel any level of dissatisfaction and distrust. Trust your gut. When you recognize red flags, you can evaluate whether a person is trying to manipulate you or not. This gives you some level of control over what you allow in your life. The earlier you detect these behaviors, the better off you will be.

Red flags can include:

  • They always put themselves first.
  • They point out imperfections and sabotage your self-esteem.
  • You may feel drained or used when you’re around them.
  • What you give isn’t reciprocated. They don’t return the goodness you provide as a friend.
  • They ignore your boundaries and get angry when you tell them “no.”
  • You catch them in half truths or outright lies when you confront them about anything.
  • You are the villain; they are the victim.
  • Second chances always lead to repeated patterns of behavior.
  • They may engage in abuse.

2. Set Boundaries

There are emotional boundaries that one can set, but there are also physical ones[2]. You can leave any time. Setting boundaries is also an important part of self-care.

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You shouldn’t walk on eggshells. Tell them how you feel. Are they respecting you, fulfilling your needs, and listening to you? If not, it’s time to set up a healthy emotional distance and start letting go of toxic people around you.

There are levels to this. You have your inner circle, which could include family, and then you have acquaintances and strangers. If a toxic person is in your inner circle, it’s time to pull back and put up some boundaries for them to follow. If they can’t hear you out, you can cut off the connection completely.

You can give second chances, but you have to be careful. If someone knows they can get away with something, they will do it again. If there’s any chance for the relationship, they have to know not to cross certain lines.

3. Invest in Yourself

You deserve to know you are worthwhile. Try to remember that things will get better and that anything is possible. How do you do so? Invest in yourself.

This means self care, goal setting, surrounding yourself with positive support, and feeling a sense of peace. Your greatest ambition should be to love yourself. Without self-love, letting go of toxic people will be difficult.

Every relationship is a risk, but if you know yourself and what you will allow, toxic people will have less of a hold over you. If you are a giver or people pleaser, you are most at risk to being in a one-sided relationship. You shouldn’t be punished for caring, but sometimes trust needs to be earned. If you have self-love, you are treating yourself the best way possible. You know that others need to meet your standards; otherwise, they don’t get to be a part of your life.

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It’s possible that you can love yourself and still not see the signs. It can be difficult for some to be aware that toxic people exist. However,, if you know how much you mean to others in your life and what you are worth, you will be less likely to take on a relationship that is harmful to you or repeat negative patterns. Self-love is how we get out of toxic relationships, but it’s also how they never begin.

4. Know When Forgiveness Is Possible

There are times a person will prove their worth to you. They may make a mistake that makes them seem like a horrible person. They may forget to be good to you because of their own issues. They may just have no example of what a healthy relationship looks like. They may have an inflated ego that really comes from insecurity. The list goes on.

If they apologize, that’s a start. Look at their actions. Are they changing for the better because they really want to change or just seeming to in order to manipulate you? A person may control others with their image or perceived personality, but if you see through them, you may be able to discern the degree to which they are willing to be there for you.

If they start to do the right thing, you may begin to trust them again. Don’t start forgiving them until time has passed and you are sure there is growth, even if they show vulnerability or remorse. You can give a second chance if they truly have an awakening. Otherwise, it’s best to get out. Don’t let them walk all over you; let them walk out the door.

If you do give a second change and they still refuse to change, you have every right to remove them and continue the process of letting go of toxic people. The moment you even want to leave may also be a good time to get out. You don’t have to compromise yourself in order to care for them.

Forgiveness is the release of resentment or anger[3]. Forgiveness doesn’t mean reconciliation. You have to go back to the same relationship or accept the same harmful behaviors from someone. You don’t have to let them back in. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.

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Remember, forgiveness is ultimately for you, not them. You don’t need that person in your life in order to forgive them, and if you give them a second chance, proceed with caution.

Final Thoughts

Recognize the red flags, set boundaries, invest in yourself, and know when forgiveness is possible. This is how you cope with a toxic person impacting your life. You have power in the direction of your life and the people who accompany you as you move forward. Use it.

If a person is worthwhile, they will prove themselves through their actions, not their words. If they cross certain lines that really harm you, you owe them nothing. You have every right to feel what you feel and to be upset. Honor your feelings and communicate them because it’ll only continue to keep happening if you don’t.

If this is happening to you, it’s time to put a stop to it. It’s time to take control. It’s time to live for yourself, not for what others say about you. It’s time to set your standards higher than they’ve ever been before. And most of all, it’s time to let go.

Resource reminder: A physically abusive relationship is ALWAYS toxic. There are resources for you. Always speak up.

If you are in such a cycle or domestic violence or abuse reach out for help. For example, there is The National Domestic Violence Hotline (https://www.thehotline.org/) which can be reached at 1−800−799−7233. There are other ways to get help if you simply ask for it. 

More Tips on Letting Go of Toxic People

Featured photo credit: Hannah Busing via unsplash.com

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