How you view yourself can make or break you. If you want success, watch out for these 15 things not to say about yourself.
1. “I wish I didn’t have such bad luck.”
The more opportunities you pursue, the better your “luck” will get. If you want something, go get it. Success comes from hustle (not chance).
2. “It’s too late for me, so why bother?”
It is never too late to change your life. Even the most damaged of us can rise from the ashes to take control of our life. See your age as an asset (not a liability). With years comes experience, and with experience comes knowledge.
3. “But what will they think about me?”
Getting caught up in what everybody else thinks about you is a sure-fire way to multiply your stress levels. Never sacrifice your true personality in an attempt to impress others. If a friend is worth having, they will appreciate you for who you are, not who they think you should be.
4. “I’m so stupid.”
No one has all the answers, so ease up on yourself. We all have our own unique skill sets. Being bad at one thing doesn’t make you stupid. Instead of agonizing over your weaknesses, focus on developing your strengths and then use them as much as possible! The more you can do what you’re good at, the more confident you will become in yourself.
5. “No one will ever love me.”
How could you possibly know that? Answer: you couldn’t. And if you’re staying at home thinking about how no one loves you (instead of putting yourself out there so you could meet a potential new partner), you’re just making a bad situation worse. Mr. or Ms. Right won’t find you if you’re holed-up in your PJs. If you want to be found, act like it.
6. “I can’t do it.”
Don’t admit defeat before the race even starts. If it helps, think about the three biggest things you’ve achieved in your life. That could be graduating college, getting a promotion, starting a blog, landing a date, or whatever.
Got your three things? Now ask yourself, “What strengths did I use to achieve this specific thing?” for each item. Write down your answers.
Notice any trends? If so, the road to success is right in front of you.
7. “I don’t think ______ likes me because they didn’t answer my text/call/e-mail.”
Jumping to conclusions like this displays a self-centered worldview. And besides, wouldn’t it be more likely that your friend/partner got tied up with class/work/(insert thing here)? People have things to do, so don’t assume it’s all about you.
8. “Life isn’t fair. If only things were better…”
No, life isn’t fair (and I hate to break it to you, but it never will be). There will always be good and bad things happening in your life at any given moment. This is beyond your control, so let it go. But whether you focus on the good or bad part is entirely up to you. You’re welcome to stress out about negative things you can’t control, but do know that won’t make you feel any better (quite the opposite). Keep your eye on the positive, because no matter how it looks right now, you’re doing better than you think.
9. “I hate my body.”
Please don’t say that. Whether you’re curvy, skinny, or muscular is irrelevant. Your body is a glorious vessel that carries you everywhere you go in this world. Take care of your body and it will take care of you. Getting caught up in what you see as imperfections is a waste of your precious time and energy. Don’t look for physical traits you dislike, but focus on the things about yourself that you find cute, handsome, or attractive. If you want to feel better about your (incredibly good-looking) body today, check out these 10 reasons why you are attractive.
10. “I’m so embarrassed I wish I could disappear.”
I’m bet everybody reading this has spilled food on their shirt, dropped (and broke) a dish, tripped over a random object, and/or walked face-first into a wall (I can’t be the only one). If you have a goof in public and feel your cheeks flush, take a deep breath and tell yourself, “This isn’t a big deal.” For bonus points, make a quick lighthearted joke at your own expense to show you don’t take things too seriously.
11. “I’m out of his/her league.”
There isn’t such a thing as a “league” for you to be in or out of, so stop it with the negative self-talk. If you’re attracted to a person, say so.
12. “I can’t believe _____ got picked over me.”
Jealousy is a destructive emotion that does lots of harm and no good. If a co-worker got a promotion you hoped for, be a good sport about it. They probably deserve the position just as much as you do (and even if they don’t, it’s no reason to be hostile — it’s certainly not their fault you didn’t get picked). When rejected, your best bet is to transfer your negative feelings into positive action. Think you should have got the gig? Don’t gossip about it — prove it.
13. “It’s too hard.”
You know what’s really hard?
- Running a marathon while pushing your son in a wheel-chair (at age 72).
- Swimming 110 miles (53 hours) across the ocean.
- Surviving in a frozen car at -30 degrees (C) for two months.
Yeah…you don’t get to say anything is “too hard.”
If you can believe it, you can achieve it.
14. “I can’t trust anyone, I’ve been hurt too much.”
Funny thing about trust: the less you trust other people, the less they tend to trust you. Are all people worthy of your trust? Certainly not, but that’s no reason to be paranoid. Just because a past partner or two (or several) proved untrustworthy doesn’t mean everyone is out to get you, it just means you haven’t found the right person yet.
15. “I might as well give up.”
Life is like a video-game. No matter how many times you lose, you can push “Continue” as many times as you need to. You don’t lose until you quit, so don’t quit.
If you have any other things not to say about yourself that would be a great addition to this list, please leave it in the comments below.