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15 Things Not To Say About Yourself

15 Things Not To Say About Yourself

How you view yourself can make or break you. If you want success, watch out for these 15 things not to say about yourself.

1. “I wish I didn’t have such bad luck.”

The more opportunities you pursue, the better your “luck” will get. If you want something, go get it. Success comes from hustle (not chance).

2. “It’s too late for me, so why bother?”

It is never too late to change your life. Even the most damaged of us can rise from the ashes to take control of our life. See your age as an asset (not a liability). With years comes experience, and with experience comes knowledge.

3. “But what will they think about me?”

Getting caught up in what everybody else thinks about you is a sure-fire way to multiply your stress levels. Never sacrifice your true personality in an attempt to impress others. If a friend is worth having, they will appreciate you for who you are, not who they think you should be.

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4. “I’m so stupid.”

No one has all the answers, so ease up on yourself. We all have our own unique skill sets. Being bad at one thing doesn’t make you stupid. Instead of agonizing over your weaknesses, focus on developing your strengths and then use them as much as possible! The more you can do what you’re good at, the more confident you will become in yourself.

5. “No one will ever love me.”

How could you possibly know that? Answer: you couldn’t. And if you’re staying at home thinking about how no one loves you (instead of putting yourself out there so you could meet a potential new partner), you’re just making a bad situation worse. Mr. or Ms. Right won’t find you if you’re holed-up in your PJs. If you want to be found, act like it.

6. “I can’t do it.”

Don’t admit defeat before the race even starts. If it helps, think about the three biggest things you’ve achieved in your life. That could be graduating college, getting a promotion, starting a blog, landing a date, or whatever.

Got your three things? Now ask yourself, “What strengths did I use to achieve this specific thing?” for each item. Write down your answers.

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Notice any trends? If so, the road to success is right in front of you.

7. “I don’t think ______ likes me because they didn’t answer my text/call/e-mail.”

Jumping to conclusions like this displays a self-centered worldview. And besides, wouldn’t it be more likely that your friend/partner got tied up with class/work/(insert thing here)? People have things to do, so don’t assume it’s all about you.

8. “Life isn’t fair. If only things were better…”

No, life isn’t fair (and I hate to break it to you, but it never will be). There will always be good and bad things happening in your life at any given moment. This is beyond your control, so let it go. But whether you focus on the good or bad part is entirely up to you. You’re welcome to stress out about negative things you can’t control, but do know that won’t make you feel any better (quite the opposite). Keep your eye on the positive, because no matter how it looks right now, you’re doing better than you think.

9. “I hate my body.”

Please don’t say that. Whether you’re curvy, skinny, or muscular is irrelevant. Your body is a glorious vessel that carries you everywhere you go in this world. Take care of your body and it will take care of you. Getting caught up in what you see as imperfections is a waste of your precious time and energy. Don’t look for physical traits you dislike, but focus on the things about yourself that you find cute, handsome, or attractive. If you want to feel better about your (incredibly good-looking) body today, check out these 10 reasons why you are attractive.

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10. “I’m so embarrassed I wish I could disappear.”

I’m bet everybody reading this has spilled food on their shirt, dropped (and broke) a dish, tripped over a random object, and/or walked face-first into a wall (I can’t be the only one). If you have a goof in public and feel your cheeks flush, take a deep breath and tell yourself, “This isn’t a big deal.” For bonus points, make a quick lighthearted joke at your own expense to show you don’t take things too seriously.

11. “I’m out of his/her league.”

There isn’t such a thing as a “league” for you to be in or out of, so stop it with the negative self-talk. If you’re attracted to a person, say so.

12. “I can’t believe _____ got picked over me.”

Jealousy is a destructive emotion that does lots of harm and no good. If a co-worker got a promotion you hoped for, be a good sport about it. They probably deserve the position just as much as you do (and even if they don’t, it’s no reason to be hostile — it’s certainly not their fault you didn’t get picked). When rejected, your best bet is to transfer your negative feelings into positive action. Think you should have got the gig? Don’t gossip about it — prove it.

13. “It’s too hard.”

You know what’s really hard?

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Yeah…you don’t get to say anything is “too hard.”

If you can believe it, you can achieve it.

14. “I can’t trust anyone, I’ve been hurt too much.”

Funny thing about trust: the less you trust other people, the less they tend to trust you. Are all people worthy of your trust? Certainly not, but that’s no reason to be paranoid. Just because a past partner or two (or several) proved untrustworthy doesn’t mean everyone is out to get you, it just means you haven’t found the right person yet.

15. “I might as well give up.”

Life is like a video-game. No matter how many times you lose, you can push “Continue” as many times as you need to. You don’t lose until you quit, so don’t quit.

If you have any other things not to say about yourself that would be a great addition to this list, please leave it in the comments below.

More by this author

Daniel Wallen

Daniel is a writer who focuses on blogging about happiness and motivation at Lifehack.

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Last Updated on June 24, 2019

Why Social Media Might Be Causing Depression

Why Social Media Might Be Causing Depression

A study [1] published in Depression and Anxiety found that social media users are more likely to be depressed. This was just one of the huge number of studies linking social media and depression[2] . But why exactly do platforms like Facebook and Instagram make people so unhappy? Well, we don’t know yet for sure, but there are some explanations.

Social Media Could Lead to Depression

Depression is a serious medical condition that affects how you think, feel, and behave. Social media may lead to depression in predisposed individuals or make existing symptoms of depression[3] worse explains[4] the study above’s senior author Dr. Brian Primack. So, the problem may not be in social media per se, but how we use it.

Signs You’re Suffering From “Social Media Depression”

If you feel like social media is having a negative impact on your mood, then you may be suffering from “social media depression.” Look for symptoms like:

• low self-esteem,

• negative self-talk,

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• a low mood,

• irritability,

• a lack of interest in activities once enjoyed,

• and social withdrawal.

If you’ve had these symptoms for more than two weeks and if this is how you feel most of the time, then you are likely depressed. Although “social media depression “is not a term recognized in the medical setting, social media depression seems to be a real phenomenon affecting around 50% of social media users. As explained in a review study[5] published in Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking, if a person has a certain predisposition to depression and other mental disorders, social media use may only worsen their mental health.

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Social Media Could Crush Self-Esteem

We know that social media and depression are in some way linked, but why is this so? Well, according to Igor Pantic, MD, Ph.D.[6], social media use skews your perception about other people’s lives and traits. To explain this further, most people like to portray an idealized image of their lives, personal traits, and appearance on sites like Facebook and Instagram. If you confuse this idealized image with reality, you may be under the false impression that everyone is better than you which can crush your self-esteem and lead to depression. This is especially true for teens and young adults who are more likely to compare themselves to others. If you already suffer from low self-esteem, the illusion that everyone has it better off than you will just make you feel worse.

Causing Social Isolation and Other Negative Emotions

Another commonly cited reason for the negative impact of social media on mental health is its link with social isolation. Depressed people are more likely to isolate themselves socially and chose only to interact indirectly through social media platforms. But communication online tends to be superficial and is lacking when compared to real-life interaction explains Panic. What this means is not that social media leads to isolation but the other way around, possibly explaining why we find so many depressed persons on these sites.

Lastly, social media use may generate negative emotions in you like envy, jealousy, dislike, loneliness, and many others and this may worsen your depressive symptoms.

Why We Need to Take This Seriously

Both depression and social media use are on the rise according to epidemiological studies. Since each one has an impact on the other, we have to start thinking of healthier ways to use social media. Teens and young adults are especially vulnerable to the negative impact of social media on mental health.

Advice on Social Media Use

Although these findings did not provide any cause-effect explanation regarding Facebook and depression[7], they still do prove that social media use may not be a good way to handle depression. For this reason, the leading authors of these studies gave some suggestions as to how clinicians and people can make use of such findings.

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One suggestion is that clinicians should ask patients about their social media habits. Then they can advise them on how to change their outlook on social media use or even suggest limiting their time spent on social media.

Some social media users may also exhibit addictive behavior; they may spend too much time due to compulsive urges. Any compulsive behavior is bound to lead to feelings of guilt which can worsen depressive symptoms.

Having Unhealthy Relationship with Social Media

If you feel like your relationship with social media is unhealthy, then consider the advice on healthy social media use provided by psychology experts from Links Psychology[8]:

Avoid negative social comparison – always keep in mind that how people portray themselves and their lives on social media is not a realistic picture, but rather an idealized one. Also, avoid comparing yourself to others because this behavior can lead to negative self-talk.

Remember that social media is not a replacement for real life – Social media is great for staying in touch and having fun, but it should never replace real-world interactions.

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Avoid releasing personal information – For your safety and privacy, make sure to be careful with what you post online.

Report users who bully and harass you – It’s easy to be a bully in the anonymous and distant world of social media. Don’t take such offense personally and report those who abuse social media to harass others.

The bits of advice listed above can help you establish a healthy relationship with social media. Always keep these things in mind to avoid losing an objective perspective of what social media is and how it is different from real life. If you are currently suffering from depression, talk to your doctor about what is bothering you so that you can get the treatment you need to get better. Tell your doctor about your social media use and see if they could give you some advice on this topic.

Reference

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