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Last Updated on January 17, 2018

15 Things Narcissists Don’t Do

15 Things Narcissists Don’t Do

Do you know a narcissist? From a psychological perspective, there are several characteristics that define a narcissistic person. They are extremely egotistic, with an exaggerated sense of self-importance, have fantasies of unlimited success and brilliance, expect special treatment, like to exploit others, lack empathy, are filled with envy, expect people to envy them and are extremely arrogant.

While these traits should be easy to spot in a person, you need to remember that narcissists are tricky people. They are manipulative and are easily able to con you into thinking they are different. No one wants to fall for the manipulation of a narcissist. It would be helpful to know who to stay away from, so to help you identify them: here are some things narcissists don’t do.

1. They don’t show their true selves

Narcissists are manipulative, so of course they won’t show you who they really are when you first meet them. They lure you into believing that they are someone completely different, maybe someone sweet and kind. You won’t find out their true personality until it’s too late

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2. They don’t incorporate security into relationships

Narcissists tend to keep you on your toes. The last thing they want is for you to feel safe and secure in the relationship. It gives them pleasure to be above you in every way, and when you feel insecure it makes them secure in turn.

3. They never allow you to see them as the bad guy

In a narcissist’s mind they can never be the bad guy and they make sure you know it too. No matter what the situation is the blame will ultimately fall on you and this will make you feel like a terrible person, however they don’t care. You feeling bad about yourself is exactly what they want.

4. They don’t like losing control

Narcissists are control-freaks and losing control makes them extremely upset or angry. They need to have control of people and their surroundings. It gives them a sense of security in knowing that you will do whatever they want without question.

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5. They won’t let people prove them wrong

A narcissist will argue that black is white until even you begin to believe it. This is one of the biggest traps to fall in when being around a narcissist. Arguing with them is a waste of time and effort; their manipulative nature will cause you to start doubting yourself and soon you’ll start believing them.

6. They don’t see others as equals

Narcissists believe they are on top of the world – they don’t believe anyone is on the same level as them. If you try and associate yourself with them as an equal, then they will do anything in your power to bring you down so they are on top once again.

7. They never have sympathy

These are the kinds of people who laugh while everyone cries during a sad movie. They don’t really care that your mother just went through a divorce or your parent just died. They don’t care about your feelings and they’re tired of hearing about your recent breakup or job loss. If it doesn’t concern them, they won’t bother with it.

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8. They don’t do anything that doesn’t benefit them

They didn’t buy you dinner out of the kindness of their heart… They are probably going to ask you for a world of favors afterwards. Narcissists don’t do anything without a purpose to benefit them. Giving a narcissist what they want is the last thing you want to do.

9. They don’t take orders from others

Don’t try to order a narcissist around. They are egotistical people, and trying to take control is a big hit to their self-esteem. It wouldn’t be surprising to later find yourself in a plot for vengeance later on, just for trying to take control of a narcissist.

10. They don’t like to admit they have feelings

Narcissist of not, everyone has feelings. They undoubtedly feel emotions differently to other people but a narcissist will often say: “I don’t have feelings.” This is of course an excuse for all the horrible things they can sometimes do. They use the pretense of not knowing how emotions work to get away with anything without people thinking badly of them.

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11. They don’t listen

They don’t listen, they just wait for you to shut up so they can say what’s on their mind. They really don’t care about what you have to say, all they’re concerned about is your willingness to listen to them rant on and on.

12. They don’t stick around

If you’re staring to bore them in any friendship or relationship, expect a narcissist to pack up and leave. They want attention, and if you aren’t giving them what they want then don’t expect them to stick around.

13. They don’t pick unattractive friends

As mentioned, narcissists don’t do anything that doesn’t benefit them. Picking friends is one of those examples. They surround themselves with attractive and upper-class people making them feel more superior and invincible. It will be rare to find a narcissist surrounded with an unattractive, undesirable crowd.

14. They don’t give compliments

Narcissists want to be complimented. They don’t have to make people feel good about themselves because it’s not their job to do so. You’d be lucky to get a compliment from a narcissist, and even if you do you have reason to be suspicious.

15. They don’t like to be polite

At the best of times a narcissistic sense of superiority allows them to feel exempt from the rules of society – common courtesy being one of these exemptions. No matter how tempting it is, don’t disrespect a narcissist, because they are definitely not going to turn the other cheek.

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Last Updated on November 15, 2018

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

What do you think it takes to achieve your goals? Hard work? Lots of actions? While these are paramount to becoming successful in reaching our goals, neither of these are possible without a positive mindset.

As humans, we naturally tend to lean towards a negative outlook when it comes to our hopes and dreams. We are prone to believing that we have limitations either from within ourselves or from external forces keeping us from truly getting to where we want to be in life. Our tendency to think that we’ll “believe it when we see it” suggests that our mindsets are focused on our goals not really being attainable until they’ve been achieved. The problem with this is that this common mindset fuels our limiting beliefs and shows a lack of faith in ourselves.

The Success Mindset

Success in achieving our goals comes down to a ‘success mindset’. Successful mindsets are those focused on victory, based on positive mental attitudes, empowering inclinations and good habits. Acquiring a success mindset is the sure-fire way to dramatically increase your chance to achieve your goals.

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The idea that achieving our goals comes down to our habits and actions is actually a typical type of mindset that misses a crucial point; that our mindset is, in fact, the determiner of our energy and what actions we take. A negative mindset will tend to create negative actions and similarly if we have a mindset that will only set into action once we see ‘proof’ that our goals are achievable, then the road will be much longer and arduous. This is why, instead of thinking “I’ll believe it when I see it”, a success mindset will think “I’ll see it when I believe it.”

The Placebo Effect and What It Shows Us About The Power of Mindset

The placebo effect is a perfect example of how mindset really can be powerful. In scientific trials, a group of participants were told they received medication that will heal an ailment but were actually given a sugar pill that does nothing (the placebo). Yet after the trial the participants believed it’s had a positive effect – sometimes even cured their ailment even though nothing has changed. This is the power of mindset.

How do we apply this to our goals? Well, when we set goals and dreams how often do we really believe they’ll come to fruition? Have absolute faith that they can be achieved? Have a complete unwavering expectation? Most of us don’t because we hold on to negative mindsets and limiting beliefs about ourselves that stop us from fully believing we are capable or that it’s at all possible. We tend to listen to the opinions of others despite them misaligning with our own or bow to societal pressures that make us believe we should think and act a certain way. There are many reasons why we possess these types of mindsets but a success mindset can be achieved.

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How To Create a Success Mindset

People with success mindsets have a particular way of perceiving things. They have positive outlooks and are able to put faith fully in their ability to succeed. With that in mind, here are a few ways that can turn a negative mindset into a successful one.

1. A Success Mindset Comes From a Growth Mindset

How does a mindset even manifest itself? It comes from the way you talk to yourself in the privacy of your own head. Realising this will go a long way towards noticing how you speak to yourself and others around you. If it’s mainly negative language you use when you talk about your goals and aspirations then this is an example of a fixed mindset.

A negative mindset brings with it a huge number of limiting beliefs. It creates a fixed mindset – one that can’t see beyond it’s own limitations. A growth mindset sees these limitations and looks beyond them – it finds ways to overcome obstacles and believes that this will result in success. When you think of your goal, a fixed mindset may think “what if I fail?” A growth mindset would look at the same goal and think “failures happen but that doesn’t mean I won’t be successful.”

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There’s a lot of power in changing your perspective.

2. Look For The Successes

It’s really important to get your mind focused on positive aspects of your goal. Finding inspiration through others can be really uplifting and keep you on track with developing your success mindset; reinforcing your belief that your dreams can be achieved. Find people that you can talk with about how they achieved their goals and seek out and surround yourself with positive people. This is crucial if you’re learning to develop a positive mindset.

3. Eliminate Negativity

You can come up against a lot of negativity sometimes either through other people or within yourself. Understanding that other people’s negative opinions are created through their own fears and limiting beliefs will go a long way in sustaining your success mindset. But for a lot of us, negative chatter can come from within and these usually manifest as negative words such as can’t, won’t, shouldn’t. Sometimes, when we think of how we’re going to achieve our goals, statements in our minds come out as negative absolutes: ‘It never works out for me’ or ‘I always fail.’

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When you notice these coming up you need to turn them around with ‘It always works out for me!’ and ‘I never fail!’ The trick is to believe it no matter what’s happened in the past. Remember that every new day is a clean slate and for you to adjust your mindset.

4. Create a Vision

Envisioning your end goal and seeing it in your mind is an important trait of a success mindset. Allowing ourselves to imagine our success creates a powerful excitement that shouldn’t be underestimated. When our brain becomes excited at the thought of achieving our goals, we become more committed, work harder towards achieving it and more likely to do whatever it takes to make it happen.

If this involves creating a vision board that you can look at to remind yourself every day then go for it. Small techniques like this go a long way in sustaining your success mindset and shouldn’t be dismissed.

An Inspirational Story…

For centuries experts said that running a mile in under 4 minutes was humanly impossible. On the 6th May 1954, Rodger Bannister did just that. As part of his training, Bannister relentlessly visualised the achievement, believing he could accomplish what everyone said wasn’t possible…and he did it.

What’s more amazing is that, as soon as Bannister achieved the 4-minute mile, more and more people also achieved it. How was this possible after so many years of no one achieving it? Because in people’s minds it was suddenly possible – once people knew that it was achievable it created a mindset of success and now, after over fifty years since Bannister did the ‘impossible’, his record has been lowered by 17 seconds – the power of the success mindset!

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