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Last Updated on January 18, 2021

Mentally Strong People Mindset: Accept Failures Without Doubting Yourself

Mentally Strong People Mindset: Accept Failures Without Doubting Yourself
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If you’re an entrepreneur, you will likely experience several challenges while creating your vision. The challenge with these setbacks is the way we react to them. It’s a real blow after years of work to find that the first draft of your novel has a huge plot hole in it, discovering your business partner has let you down, or you’ve lost that big client.

This kind of difficulty or rejection can make it easy to fall into negative, doubtful thinking. This can mean a loss of focus or direction for your dreams. If you’re are in this situation right now, this article can help you to take your power back, stop doubt in its tracks. You can shift from feeling lost to thinking ‘what now?’

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“Don’t confuse doubting yourself with accepting failure”

That’s the advice of Navy SEAL, Sean Haggerty. While we may not all be navy seals, anyone who is driven to create something or make a difference in this world will also come up against doubts.

Setbacks are the worst doubt inducers. The important thing to remember is that you have a choice at this point in the road. Either to notice the doubts and carry on or to quit. Choosing to quit means you’ll never have doubts again, you’ll have regrets instead. It’s up to you whether to sit in the darkness of doubt or step out and face your fears.

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If you choose this path over quitting, you might still have doubts and experience some form of failure, but you’ll never doubt your ability to work things out. Accepting doubts will become easier if they don’t have any say in whether you succeed or not. Once you’ve decided you will never quit, you can give them less air time in your mind so that you can get on with the main event. Whatever it is you are trying to achieve.

The doubts of others will hold you back if you let them

Don’t listen to anyone telling you that you can’t do something. Just like your own doubts, these will only hold you back if you take them seriously. Self-belief essentially comes from within us. That is the first step. After that, having people around who are positive role models, who encourage and support us remind us of our true capabilities.

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The more you surround yourself with these kinds of people, the better. If you can go to a seminar, or meet with a potential mentor, this will help dispel your doubts and change your focus to what you can achieve.

You are going to want to quit

Movies about successful entrepreneurs often give the image of them never wanting to quit when they face hardship. They keep going, no questions asked. But here’s the thing, we all want to quit something at one point or another. Even if deep down you know something is your life work, at some point or other you might think that you would just rather be watching Netflix than working on it.

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The point is, you don’t need to worry about the desire to quit. You only need be concerned if you actually quit something that you know in your heart you’re meant to do. If it seems hopeless, but you still have a grain of hope that there is a way then keep at it. The desire to quit is not the problem in this case. The problem would be quitting when you know the right thing to do is carry on.

Failure is inevitable. But fortunately, failing often leads to other opportunities and ideas we would never come across if we hadn’t taken that detour. Those who are driven give doubt little of their time because they know that underneath that doubt, their resolve is to win.

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This knowledge will empower you to be your best self and to push the boundaries of what you thought you could do. So you not only surprise those around you, you surprise yourself. And success is one sure fire way to kick doubt out the door.

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Daniel Owen van Dommelen

Coder, Director, Writer, Human

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Last Updated on July 21, 2021

How to Get “I Can’t Do It” Out of Your Vocabulary

How to Get “I Can’t Do It” Out of Your Vocabulary
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When someone says, “I can’t do it” . . . I say to myself, “What do you mean you can’t do it?” Maybe you don’t want to do it, but saying you “can’t” do it is a completely different story.

With the right mindset, positive attitude, and a clear vision of what you want to accomplish, the only thing that is holding you back is yourself.

Can’t is a terrible word and it has to be taken out of your vocabulary.

By saying you can’t do something, you’re already doubting yourself, submitting to defeat, and you’re making that barrier around your life tighter.

So today, right now, we are going to remove this word for good.

From now on there is nothing we can’t do.

“Attitude is Tattoo”

Your attitude is everything; it’s your reason, your why and how, your facial expression, emotions, body language, and potentially the end result. How you approach an opportunity, and the result of it, is solely based on you — not your boss or your co-worker or friend.

If you enter a business meeting with a sour attitude, that negative energy can spread like wildfire. People can also feel it — maybe even taste it. This is not an impression you want to leave.

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Now imagine you enter a business meeting with a positive attitude, that whatever happens in here is going to be your result, in your control, not someone else’s. Of course, we can’t always win, but even if the outcome is negative, your attitude and perception can turn it into a positive. The question is: can you do it?

Of course you can, because there is nothing in this world you can’t do.

It’s much better to be known for your positive attitude — your poise, your energy, the reason why things go so well because you are able to maintain such character. A negative attitude is easy. It’s easy to complain, it’s easy to be mad, and it’s even easier to do nothing to change it.

When I say your “attitude is tattoo”, it sounds permanent. Tattoos can be removed, but that’s not the point. Your attitude is like a tattoo because you wear it. People can see it and sometimes, they will judge you on it. If you maintain a negative attitude, then it is permanent until you change it.

Change your attitude and I guarantee the results change as well.

Believe You Can Do It

Do you know why most people say “can’t” and doubt themselves before trying anything?

It’s our lack of self-confidence and fear on many different levels. The one thing we have to purge from ourselves is fear — fear of bad results, fear of change, fear of denial, fear of loss, the fear that makes us worry and lose sleep. Worrying is the same as going outside with an umbrella, waiting for rain to hit it. Stop worrying and move on.

Confidence is fragile: It builds up slowly, but can shatter like glass. Project your confidence and energy into believing in yourself. This is a very important and groundbreaking step — one that is usually the hardest to take. Start telling yourself you can do something, anything, and you will do it the best to your ability. Remove doubt, remove fear, and stick with positive energy.

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Learn how to boost your confidence: How to Be Confident: 62 Proven Ways to Build Self-Confidence

Embrace Failure

Do not fear failure. Do not run away from it. Face it, learn from it, grow, and take action. Just remember: You will never know success if you have never failed.

Your confidence will bolster after embracing these facts. You will be immune to demoralizing results, and instead you will find ways to fix it, improve upon it, and make it better than before. You will learn to never say “can’t,” and will realize how many more opportunities you can create by removing that one word.

Don’t let one simple and ugly word plague your confidence. You’re better and stronger than that.

Start Making the Change

But to actually start the process of change is very challenging.

Why is that?

Fear? Time? Don’t know how — or where — to start?

It’s hard because what we’re doing is unlearning what we know. We are used to doing things a certain way, and chances are we’ve been doing them for years.

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So here are some ways that I avoid using the word “can’t”, and actually take the steps to put forth the change that I wish to see. I hope you can incorporate these methods into your life.

Write down What You Want to Change

Write it on post-its, notecards, whatever makes you comfortable — something you will always see. I usually write mine on post-its and put them all over the wall behind my monitor so I always see them.

Tell a Friend and Talk About It

Discussing your goals, what you want to change, is very effective when you say it out loud and tell another person other than yourself. It’s almost like saying, hey, I bet I can do it — watch me.

When you fulfill that goal and tell your friend, it feels rewarding and will motivate you to do it again in a different aspect. Who knows? Maybe your friend adopts the same mindset as you.

Stop Yourself from Saying the Forbidden Word

Sometimes,I can’t control myself in public when I’m with friends, so I have to be careful with the words I use so I don’t embarrass or insult anyone.

Treat the word “can’t” as the worst word you can possibly use. Stop yourself from saying it, mid-sentence if you must, and turn your whole perspective around — you can do it, you will do it, and nothing is impossible!

Repetition, Repetition, Repetition

You think this change will be overnight? No way. This is a practice. Something you’re going to be doing for the rest of your life from now until forever.

As I said earlier, you are unlearning what you know. You know how easy it is to say you can’t do something, so by unlearning this easy practice, you’re self-disciplining yourself to live without boundaries.

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Practice this everyday, a little at a time, and before you know it, the word can’t will not be part of your language.

Do Anything That Can Relieve Your Uncertainty

When I catch myself saying I can’t do something or I don’t know something, looking up information on that action or subject, doing research, educating yourself, relieves that uncertainty.

Sometimes, we think we can’t do something because the whole idea of it seems too large. We skip the small steps in our head and only focus on the end.

Before you say you can’t do something, rewind and slow down a little bit. Focus on what the first step is, then the next. Take it a step at a time, and before you know it you will have done something you previously thought you couldn’t do.

Final Thoughts

You know what you must do. The first step is right now. Once you begin this habit, and really start noticing some change, you’ll realize the door to opportunity is everywhere.

The funny thing is: Those doors have always been there. The evil word that we no longer use put a veil over our eyes because that’s how powerful that word is.

More Tips for Strengthening Your Resilience

Featured photo credit: Cata via unsplash.com

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