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Mentally Strong People Mindset: Accept Failures Without Doubting Yourself

Mentally Strong People Mindset: Accept Failures Without Doubting Yourself

If you’re an entrepreneur, you will likely experience several challenges while creating your vision. The challenge with these setbacks is the way we react to them. It’s a real blow after years of work to find that the first draft of your novel has a huge plot hole in it, discovering your business partner has let you down, or you’ve lost that big client.

This kind of difficulty or rejection can make it easy to fall into negative, doubtful thinking. This can mean a loss of focus or direction for your dreams. If you’re are in this situation right now, this article can help you to take your power back, stop doubt in its tracks. You can shift from feeling lost to thinking ‘what now?’

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“Don’t confuse doubting yourself with accepting failure”

That’s the advice of Navy SEAL, Sean Haggerty. While we may not all be navy seals, anyone who is driven to create something or make a difference in this world will also come up against doubts.

Setbacks are the worst doubt inducers. The important thing to remember is that you have a choice at this point in the road. Either to notice the doubts and carry on or to quit. Choosing to quit means you’ll never have doubts again, you’ll have regrets instead. It’s up to you whether to sit in the darkness of doubt or step out and face your fears.

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If you choose this path over quitting, you might still have doubts and experience some form of failure, but you’ll never doubt your ability to work things out. Accepting doubts will become easier if they don’t have any say in whether you succeed or not. Once you’ve decided you will never quit, you can give them less air time in your mind so that you can get on with the main event. Whatever it is you are trying to achieve.

The doubts of others will hold you back if you let them

Don’t listen to anyone telling you that you can’t do something. Just like your own doubts, these will only hold you back if you take them seriously. Self-belief essentially comes from within us. That is the first step. After that, having people around who are positive role models, who encourage and support us remind us of our true capabilities.

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The more you surround yourself with these kinds of people, the better. If you can go to a seminar, or meet with a potential mentor, this will help dispel your doubts and change your focus to what you can achieve.

You are going to want to quit

Movies about successful entrepreneurs often give the image of them never wanting to quit when they face hardship. They keep going, no questions asked. But here’s the thing, we all want to quit something at one point or another. Even if deep down you know something is your life work, at some point or other you might think that you would just rather be watching Netflix than working on it.

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The point is, you don’t need to worry about the desire to quit. You only need be concerned if you actually quit something that you know in your heart you’re meant to do. If it seems hopeless, but you still have a grain of hope that there is a way then keep at it. The desire to quit is not the problem in this case. The problem would be quitting when you know the right thing to do is carry on.

Failure is inevitable. But fortunately, failing often leads to other opportunities and ideas we would never come across if we hadn’t taken that detour. Those who are driven give doubt little of their time because they know that underneath that doubt, their resolve is to win.

This knowledge will empower you to be your best self and to push the boundaries of what you thought you could do. So you not only surprise those around you, you surprise yourself. And success is one sure fire way to kick doubt out the door.

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Daniel Owen van Dommelen

Coder, Director, Writer, Human

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Last Updated on January 18, 2019

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

1. Limit the time you spend with them.

First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

2. Speak up for yourself.

Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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5. Change the subject.

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

7. Leave them behind.

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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