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15 Simple Traits Of A Truly Good Person

15 Simple Traits Of A Truly Good Person

Being a good person is not hard, but it doesn’t just happen. As much as anything else, you have to want to be a good person and make choices that correspond with your beliefs. No matter where you are in your life, you can make the choice to change. Here are 15 simple traits of a truly good person.

1. They are honest in relationships.

Relationships can put an amazing amount of stress and stain on a person, especially when things are going wrong. A nice person may try to stay in a relationship for too long, attempting to force something that isn’t there. But a truly good person will be honest in their relationship and move it forward when things are going well and end it when the time comes. It’s difficult, if not impossible, to live up to your lofty potential when your relationship is dragging you down. Be honest about how you feel and stay loyal when you’ve committed.

2. They compliment others when deserved.

Good people understand that others need praise. Complimenting is not only a good thing to do, but a sign that you can be excited for other people’s triumphs. A truly good person will compliment when deserved and offer constructive criticism when warranted.

3. They call their parents regularly.

It’s simple, but being respectful and grateful for your parents is a truly great thing. It’s easy to get to busy and let life get in your way, but truly good people find time to make sure they check in with mom and dad regularly.

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4. They are polite.

Good people are polite. They show respect and mind their manners. It’s not to be a showoff or to seem better; they just truly respect individuals and want to treat them how they want to be treated. You don’t have to be formal or walk on eggshells to be polite. It’s more a function of ensuring you act in a way that is fitting for your present location.

5. They are kind to everyone.

A good person doesn’t have to like everyone, but they are at least kind. They look at people for the person they can be and can look past the present to see the person’s positives.

6. They are generous with their belongings.

While you don’t physically have to give the shirt off your back, a truly good person is be willing to be generous. A good person understands that the things we collect and the money we accumulate are not worth anything without people to share it with. You don’t have to be a bleeding heart, giving away your life fortune; rather, be open and generous to those less fortunate in a time of need.

7. They remember their manners.

Whether it’s waiting until everyone has their food to eat or opening the door when others walk through, proper manners are definitely not out of style. Truly good people understand the importance of their actions and always remember their manners.

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8. They think of others.

It’s easy to be selfish and do what’s best for yourself. Yet, truly good people consider others in their decisions. They understand that what’s good for them may not always be the best for others. They don’t have to cater exclusively to others; rather, they understand and take into consideration how their actions will affect others and are comfortable with the decision to move forward.

9. They go the extra mile.

A truly good person makes sure the task gets done and always goes the extra mile. Whether it’s staying to help clean up after an event or spending their own time ensuring things get done properly, a good person understands the importance of finishing what they start.

10. They are kind to loved ones.

Sometimes you can be great to others but treat the ones who love you the most the worst. A truly good person doesn’t take out their problems on their loved ones and is as pleasant at home as in the public eye.

11. They smile.

A smile can light up a room, and truly good people smile often—not just when things are going well.

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12. They make the best out of every situation.

In every situation, there are positives and negatives. A truly good person will find and focus the positives. That’s not to say they don’t take the negatives; rather, they find ways to improve and become better because of the bad things.

13. They make friends easily.

A truly good person is one who people want to be around. People are drawn to them. By being positive and finding the best in others, they can make and keep friends easily.

14. They don’t take things for granted.

Being a truly good person is an ongoing pursuit. They understand that what they’ve done in the past doesn’t ensure results in the future.

15. They are consistent.

A first impression is a lasting impression. By being consistent in what they do, a truly good person will ensure they always put their best foot forward and treat every person and situation the same.

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Being a good person isn’t hard, but it does take a consistent approach. By using the traits above, you too can be a truly good person.

Featured photo credit: Thomas Hawk via flickr.com

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Kyle Robbins

Kyle is the founder of Branding Beard. He writes about communication tips on Lifehack.

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Last Updated on January 24, 2021

How to Say No When You Know You Say Yes Too Often

How to Say No When You Know You Say Yes Too Often

Do you say yes so often that you no longer feel that your own needs are being met? Are you wondering how to say no to people?

For years, I was a serial people pleaser[1]. Known as someone who would step up, I would gladly make time, especially when it came to volunteering for certain causes. I proudly carried this role all through grade school, college, even through law school. For years, I thought saying “no” meant I would disappoint a good friend or someone I respected.

But somewhere along the way, I noticed I wasn’t quite living my life. Instead, I seem to have created a schedule that was a strange combination of meeting the expectations of others, what I thought I should be doing, and some of what I actually wanted to do. The result? I had a packed schedule that left me overwhelmed and unfulfilled.

It took a long while, but I learned the art of saying no. Saying no meant I no longer catered fully to everyone else’s needs and could make more room for what I really wanted to do. Instead of cramming too much in, I chose to pursue what really mattered. When that happened, I became a lot happier.

And guess what? I hardly disappointed anyone.

The Importance of Saying No

When you learn the art of saying no, you begin to look at the world differently. Rather than seeing all of the things you could or should be doing (and aren’t doing), you start to look at how to say yes to what’s important.

In other words, you aren’t just reacting to what life throws at you. You seek the opportunities that move you to where you want to be.

Successful people aren’t afraid to say no. Oprah Winfrey, considered one of the most successful women in the world, confessed that it was much later in life when she learned how to say no. Even after she had become internationally famous, she felt she had to say yes to virtually everything.

Being able to say no also helps you manage your time better.

Warren Buffett views “no” as essential to his success. He said:

“The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything.”

When I made “no” a part of my toolbox, I drove more of my own success, focusing on fewer things and doing them well.

How We Are Pressured to Say Yes

It’s no wonder a lot of us find it hard to say no.

From an early age, we are conditioned to say yes. We said yes probably hundreds of times in order to graduate from high school and then get into college. We said yes to find work, to get a promotion, to find love and then yes again to stay in a relationship. We said yes to find and keep friends.

We say yes because we feel good when we help someone, because it can seem like the right thing to do, because we think that is key to success, and because the request might come from someone who is hard to resist.

And that’s not all. The pressure to say yes doesn’t just come from others. We put a lot of pressure on ourselves.

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At work, we say yes because we compare ourselves to others who seem to be doing more than we are. Outside of work, we say yes because we are feeling bad that we aren’t doing enough to spend time with family or friends.

The message, no matter where we turn, is nearly always, “You really could be doing more.” The result? When people ask us for our time, we are heavily conditioned to say yes.

How Do You Say No Without Feeling Guilty?

Deciding to add the word “no” to your toolbox is no small thing. Perhaps you already say no, but not as much as you would like. Maybe you have an instinct that if you were to learn the art of no that you could finally create more time for things you care about.

But let’s be honest, using the word “no” doesn’t come easily for many people.

3 Rules of Thumbs for Saying No

1. You Need to Get Out of Your Comfort Zone

Let’s face it. It is hard to say no. Setting boundaries around your time, especially you haven’t done it much in the past, will feel awkward. Your comfort zone is “yes,” so it’s time to challenge that and step outside that.

If you need help getting out of your comfort zone, check out this article.

2. You Are the Air Traffic Controller of Your Time

When you want to learn how to say no, remember that you are the only one who understands the demands for your time. Think about it: who else knows about all of the demands in your life? No one.

Only you are at the center of all of these requests. You are the only one that understands what time you really have.

3. Saying No Means Saying Yes to Something That Matters

When we decide not to do something, it means we can say yes to something else that we may care more about. You have a unique opportunity to decide how you spend your precious time.

6 Ways to Start Saying No

Incorporating that little word “no” into your life can be transformational. Turning some things down will mean you can open doors to what really matters. Here are some essential tips to learn the art of no:

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1. Check in With Your Obligation Meter

One of the biggest challenges to saying no is a feeling of obligation. Do you feel you have a responsibility to say yes and worry that saying no will reflect poorly on you?

Ask yourself whether you truly have the duty to say yes. Check your assumptions or beliefs about whether you carry the responsibility to say yes. Turn it around and instead ask what duty you owe to yourself.

2. Resist the Fear of Missing out (FOMO)

Do you have a fear of missing out (FOMO)? FOMO can follow us around in so many ways. At work, we volunteer our time because we fear we won’t move ahead. In our personal lives, we agree to join the crowd because of FOMO, even while we ourselves aren’t enjoying the fun.

Check in with yourself. Are you saying yes because of FOMO or because you really want to say yes? More often than not, running after fear doesn’t make us feel better[2].

3. Check Your Assumptions About What It Means to Say No

Do you dread the reaction you will get if you say no? Often, we say yes because we worry about how others will respond or because of the consequences. We may be afraid to disappoint others or think we will lose their respect. We often forget how much we are disappointing ourselves along the way.

Keep in mind that saying no can be exactly what is needed to send the right message that you have limited time. In the tips below, you will see how to communicate your no in a gentle and loving way.

You might disappoint someone initially, but drawing a boundary can bring you the freedom you need so that you can give freely of yourself when you truly want to. And it will often help others have more respect for you and your boundaries, not less.

4. When the Request Comes in, Sit on It

Sometimes, when we are in the moment, we instinctively agree. The request might make sense at first. Or we typically have said yes to this request in the past.

Give yourself a little time to reflect on whether you really have the time or can do the task properly. You may decide the best option is to say no. There is no harm in giving yourself the time to decide.

5. Communicate Your “No” with Transparency and Kindness

When you are ready to tell someone no, communicate your decision clearly. The message can be open and honest[3] to ensure the recipient that your reasons have to do with your limited time.

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How do you say no? 9 Healthy Ways to Say “No”

    Resist the temptation not to respond or communicate all. But do not feel obligated to provide a lengthy account about why you are saying no.

    Clear communication with a short explanation is all that is needed. I have found it useful to tell people that I have many demands and need to be careful with how I allocate my time. I will sometimes say I really appreciate that they came to me and for them to check in again if the opportunity arises another time.

    6. Consider How to Use a Modified No

    If you are under pressure to say yes but want to say no, you may want to consider downgrading a “yes” to a “yes but…” as this will give you an opportunity to condition your agreement to what works best for you.

    Sometimes, the condition can be to do the task, but not in the time frame that was originally requested. Or perhaps you can do part of what has been asked.

    Final Thoughts

    Beginning right now, you can change how you respond to requests for your time. When the request comes in, take yourself off autopilot where you might normally say yes.

    Use the request as a way to draw a healthy boundary around your time. Pay particular attention to when you place certain demands on yourself.

    Try it now. Say no to a friend who continues to take advantage of your goodwill. Or, draw the line with a workaholic colleague and tell them you will complete the project, but not by working all weekend. You’ll find yourself much happier.

    More Tips on How to Say No

    Featured photo credit: Chris Ainsworth via unsplash.com

    Reference

    [1] Science of People: 11 Expert Tips to Stop Being a People Pleaser and Start Doing You
    [2] Anxiety and Depression Association of America: Tips to Get Over Your FOMO, or Fear of Missing Out
    [3] Cooks Hill Counseling: 9 Healthy Ways to Say “No”

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