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15 Signs You Have The Coolest Single Mom In The World

15 Signs You Have The Coolest Single Mom In The World

Being a single mom can be like living life in a pressure cooker.  All the cares and concerns of a household push down on them from all sides, eveything from preparing meals to seeing their kids through fever and chills.  There isn’t anyone running interference when the world comes knocking hard at their front door.  And all that responsibility is enough to change a woman from a carefree young adult to a sour matron with permanent frown lines.  So it’s not just being a single mom a challenge, but also doing it with joy and style.  That can seem nearly impossible!

But is your mom still staying cool through the years?  Breeze through the checklist. She may have been so cool about things, you haven’t even noticed how cool she really is.

1.  She makes time to pay attention just to you!

In a world full of responsibilities, demands, chores, and distractions, your mom puts away the phone, closes the laptop, turns off the TV, and listens to what you have to say.  She isn’t waiting to talk about herself, or zoning out, but wanting to know what you are doing and how it is going.

2.  She seldom criticizes you.

While other parents might try to tell their kids they are not up to their standards, your mom asks thoughtful questions that make you think.  You might even rethink what you thought you had already decided because she allowed you to consider things from another viewpoint.  She doesn’t want you stuck in a box.  She wants you to think outside of the box and see things for what they are.

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3.  She is smiling in all your selfies together!

Before they were even called selfies, you and your mom were smiling together from the beach or just the park around the corner.  She didn’t fuss about her hair or makeup, but just put on her best smile with you.  She was loving being with you and it still shows!

4.  She doesn’t fat talk or body shame herself.

Some women talk about their bodies in negative ways and about how they feel fat.  They are always dieting or going to diet.  But your mom might have just went walking or jogging or maybe did kickboxing or yoga in front of the TV.  She bought clothes that flattered her whatever her shape and didn’t pick on herself.  By example, she helped you understand that you being beautiful is about you being healthy.

5.  She tells you her life is better because you are in it!

You weren’t an inconvenience or a bother or a burden.  You were and are the light of her life.  You make her feel whole.  She learned to love deeper and better because she had you.  She might have discovered what real love was because she had you to inspire it.  She can’t imagine her life without you and she never wants to!  She told you this over pancakes or cocoa.  She may have developed a secrete hand squeeze that meant I-LOVE-YOU.

6.  She never sweats the small stuff!

Single moms do it all, except when they just can’t.  Sure, there were messy beds and unwashed laundry, but you always were taken care of and had clean clothes.  The pantry was messy, but she knew where your favorite foods were and you shared them together.  Her fingernails were sometime chipped or she missed a spot shaving her legs, but she never missed picking you up from school or seeing you in a play or a game.  You lost your lunch money or a library book?  It was a lesson moment, but she made it clear, nothing was so critical to ruin a day or ruin a relationship.

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7.  She knew what to make a priority!

She never got caught up in the drama of other mothers or got hung up on what she missed out when she was younger, but instead she made her children her priority and her joy.  She didn’t self indulge in creating drama or making things about herself because she was busy with more important things like you and your siblings.  Being a single mom gave her clarity of purpose.  She was raising you and that was important. Enough said.

8.  She makes time to dance with you!

Sometimes it was a house party, with just you and your mom in your pajamas, dancing and eating frosting out of the tub.  Maybe it was even a Wednesday night and just time to kick up your heels together after the work of the day was done.  Fun was not just permitted, it was welcomed!  Being a single mom is challenging, but it doesn’t mean there isn’t fun.

9.  She is endlessly creative and has always encouraged yours!

A single mom doesn’t get much help, but your mom goes above and beyond when it comes to being creative.  Maybe it would have been easier to just buy a costume for halloween, but she indulged your creativity because you wanted to be a ballerina dinosaur or a soccer playing butterfly.  Maybe she turned a whole wall into a chalkboard to keep track of ideas or just to let you draw.  Oh, and you had buckets and tackle boxes of art and craft supplies, and a single mom armed with a high temperature glue gun who knew how to use it!

10.  She loves you for you!

Your mom never second guessed who she was because she was a single mom. She was your mother and she never wanted you to second guess yourself either.  She loves you for you, inside and out, curves and edges.  She saw what made you sparkle and nurtured it.  She understood your flaws were there for a reason and would lead you to deeper understanding.  They even lead her to a deeper understanding of herself.  So how could any of it be wrong?

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11.  She is tough!

She might not win an arm wrestling competition, but she is tough on the inside!  There hasn’t been a time that you felt she wasn’t there to protect you.  In the sand box or stepping off the bus, your momma bear was there to first wipe away the tears, then get involved.  There wasn’t a bully big or small she couldn’t handle.  And as far as disasters went, she could keep her cool whether the car died on the busy interstate or you broke your arm on the playground.  Mom was always the first responder you could rely on.

12.  She was always prepared.

She never lost her cool in part because she was always prepared. Fire escape plan?  Check!  Emergency speed dial?  Check!  First Aid kits?  Check?  She tested the fire detectors.  She check if the doors were locked.  And most of all, she kept you prepared. You knew your name, her full name, your address, your phone number.  You learned how to dial 911 before kindergarten. You knew who the safe people were and what the safe word was. She even played what if games with you and took you to the fire station’s open house so you could see what the firemen would look and sound like if they ever had to come and rescue  you. It was all just ADVENTURES.  And because she was prepared and confident, you felt safe and secure.

13.  She has always had outside interests and hobbies that set her apart.

Maybe other mom’s were Pinteresting or Facebooking, but your mom was making and doing.  As a single mom, she didn’t have all the time in the world, but you saw her set up a painting corner in your home or you watched her scour thrift stores and used book stores to create her own library.  She made a flower box out of anything and grew vegetables, herbs and flowers.  She kept journals of inspiration and ideas.  She kept travel magazines around and pinned pictures of places she’d like to visit with you on the wall.  She had dreams before you and now you are welcomed into those, too.

14. She is timeless!

Your mom has never slowed down and has stayed bright like a diamond.  She doesn’t act age inappropriate or dress to get attention, but she stays fresh and timeless.  No one would think she is your sister, but a young cool aunt would be a possibility.  She just carries herself well.  Nothing has kept her down.

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15.  She is becoming your biggest confidant and friend.

Your mom drew a line in the sand that she was your mom and you were the kid when you were young, but lately, you feel less like the kid because she talks and looks at you differently.  You want to tell her everything because you know she respects you and you want to hear what she has to say if you need advice.  You know she can just listen too without going into protective momma mode.  She recognizes that you are the independent adult she was always aiming to create, so it might be time to take her out and treat her to dinner and tell her, “Thank you.  I am grateful that I got you for my mom.”

Featured photo credit: Mother and daughter in the park. Mother and her child enjoy the early spring. Happiness – mother with her child.Young mother with child outside on a summer day. mother playing with her son in the park via shutterstock.com

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Last Updated on April 19, 2021

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

We all lose our temper from time to time, and expressing anger is actually a healthy thing to do in our relationships with others. Expressing our differences in opinion allows us to have healthy conflict and many times come to an agreement or understanding that works for everyone. However, there are times when anger can become overwhelming or damaging, and during these times, it’s important to learn how to deal with anger.

Expressing anger inappropriately can be harmful to relationships, both personal and professional. You may express too much anger, too often, or at times that are only going to make things worse, not better. In this article we will look at anger management techniques that will help you better control your emotions.

Let’s take a deeper look at how to deal with anger.

Expressing Anger

Anger is a natural and normal part of almost any relationship. This includes relationships with your significant other, kids, boss, friends, family, etc. Anger provides us with valuable information if we are willing to listen to it. It clues us in to areas where we disagree with others and things that need to be changed or altered.

Unhealthy Ways to Express Anger

Here are some common yet unhealthy ways to express anger that you should avoid:

Being Passive-Aggressive

This is a term many of us are familiar with. Passive-aggressive behavior happens when someone is angry but uses indirect communication to express their anger.

Some of the more common passive-aggressive behaviors include the silent treatment, making comments about someone behind their back, being grumpy, moody, or pouting, or simply not doing tasks or assignments that they should.

This is a passive-aggressive person’s way of showing their anger. It’s not very productive but extremely common.

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Poorly-Timed

Some people get overwhelmed and express anger in a situation where it can’t really do any good.

An example would be getting angry at one person in front of a crowd of people. All that does is make people uncomfortable and shuts them down. It’s not a healthy way to express anger or disagreement with someone.

Ongoing Anger

Being angry all the time is most often a symptom of something else. It’s healthy and normal to express anger when you disagree with someone. However, if someone is angry most of the time and always seems to be expressing their anger to everyone around them, this won’t serve them well.

Over time, people will start to avoid this person and have as little contact as possible. The reason being is no one likes being around someone who is angry all the time; it’s a no-win situation.

Healthy Ways to Express Anger

What about the healthy ways[1] to adapt? When learning how to deal with anger, here are some healthy ways to get you started.

Being Honest

Express your anger or disagreement honestly. Be truthful about what it is that is making you angry. Sometimes this will entail walking away and thinking about it for a bit before you respond.

Don’t say you’re mad at something someone did or said when it’s really something else that upset you.

Being Direct

Similar to being honest, being direct is a healthy way to express anger.

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Don’t talk around something that is making you angry. Don’t say that one thing is making you angry when it’s really something else, and don’t stack items on top of each other so you can unload on someone about 10 different things 6 months from now.

Be direct and upfront about what is making you angry. Ensure you are expressing your anger to the person who upset you or you are angry at, not to someone else. This is very counterproductive.

Being Timely

When something makes you angry, it’s much better to express it in a timely manner. Don’t keep it bottled up inside of you, as that’s only going to do more harm than good.

Think of the marriages that seem to go up in flames out of nowhere when the reality is someone kept quiet for years until they hit their breaking point.

Expressing anger as it occurs is a much healthier way of using anger to help us guide our relationships in the moment.

How to Deal With Anger

If you feel angry, how should you deal with it right at that moment?

1. Slow Down

From time to time, I receive an email at work that makes me so angry that steam is probably pouring out of my ears.

In my less restrained moments, I have been known to fire off a quick response, and that typically has ended about as well as you might imagine.

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When I actually walk away from my computer and go do something else for a while, I am able to calm down and think more rationally. After that happens, I am able to respond in a more appropriate and productive manner. Doing things that helps you learn how to release anger can make an uncomfortable situation more manageable before it gets out of hand.

2. Focus on the “I”

Remember that you are the one that’s upset. Don’t accuse people of making you upset because, in the end, it’s your response to what someone did that really triggered your anger. You don’t want to place blame by saying something like “Why don’t you ever put away your dishes?” Say something more like “Having dirty dishes laying on the counter upsets me—can you work with me to come to a solution?”

When you are accusatory towards someone, all that does is increase the tension. This doesn’t usually do anything except make your anger rise higher.

3. Work out

When learning how to deal with anger, exercise is a great outlet. If something happens that angers you, see if you have the opportunity to burn off some of the anger.

Being able to hit the gym to get a hard workout in is great. If this isn’t an option, see if you can go for a run or a bike ride. If you are at work when you become angry and the weather permits, at least go outside for a brisk walk.

Besides working some of your anger out through exercise, this also helps to give your mind a chance to work through some ways to address what it is that upset you.

If you’re not sure where to start with an exercise routine, check out Lifehack’s free Simple Cardio Home Workout Plan.

4. Seek Help When Needed

There are times when we could all use some help. Life can be stressful and overwhelming. It’s perfectly fine to seek some help from a mental health professional if it will help you get back to a healthy balance.If you find that you are angry all the time, it might be a good idea to go talk to an expert about learning to control intense emotions. They can give you some sound advice and ideas on how to get your anger to a more manageable and healthy level.

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5. Practice Relaxation

We all seem to lead incredibly busy lives, and that’s a good thing if we are loving the life we are living. That being said, it is very beneficial to our physical and mental well-being to take time out for relaxation.

That can mean spending time doing things that help us calm down and relax, like being around people we enjoy, practicing deep breathing or listening to music. It could be making time for things that help bring us balance like a healthy diet and physical activity.

Many people incorporate techniques such as yoga and meditation to calm their minds and release tension when learning how to deal with anger. Whatever your choice is, ensure you take time out to relax when warning signs of anger start to bubble up.

6. Laugh

Incorporating humor and laughter on a regular basis will help keep anger in check and help you get over a bad mood and feelings of anger more quickly. This isn’t part of formal anger management techniques, but you’ll be surprised by how well it works. Remember, life is a journey that’s meant to be enjoyed fully along the way through healthy emotion. Make sure you take time to laugh and have fun.Surround yourself with people that like to laugh and enjoy life. Don’t work at a job that just causes you stress, which can lead to anger. Work at something you enjoy doing.

7. Be Grateful

It’s easy to focus on the bad in life and the things that cause us negative emotions. It’s vitally important to remind ourselves of all the wonderful things in life that bring us positive emotions, things that we easily forget because we get caught up in the whirlwind of day to day life.

Take time out each day to remind yourself of a few things you are grateful for in order to help you learn how to release anger and invite in more positive feelings.

Final Thoughts

Life can be overwhelming at times. We seem to have constant pressure to achieve more and to always be on the go or motivated. People we are around and situations we are in can cause stress, anger, and negative emotions. At times, it can seem to be too much, and we get angry and our emotions start to get out of control.

During these times, keep in mind that life is an incredible journey, full of wonder and things that bring you joy. When you find yourself angry more often than is healthy, take time out to remember the good things in life—the things that we seem to forget yet bring us so much positive energy and emotions.

Use some of the tips included here to help with how to deal with anger and better control your emotions.

More Resources on Anger Management

Featured photo credit: Andre Hunter via unsplash.com

Reference

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