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15 Reasons Why Your Partner Should Be Your Best Friend

15 Reasons Why Your Partner Should Be Your Best Friend

Should you really be best friends with your partner?

Some people argue it’s better to have someone else other than your partner as your best friend. Such people may claim that a relationship with your partner is different from that with your best friend and that you shouldn’t put all your eggs in one basket.

While these people want a lover and lifetime partner, and even profess to “love” their partners, it can be argued they don’t really “like” their partner, which (if true) points to something disjointed in the relationship that should probably be looked into.

Of course, there are no hard and fast rules about what is right or wrong in relationships. What matters is whether something works for you. But, for the vast majority of people, coupling and even marrying their best friend works beautifully.

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It is arguably your best bet for finding true and lasting love. Here’s why there is nothing better than having your partner as your best friend.

1. You are more yourself in the relationship.

That’s because you are already close friends. You have no reason to feel self-conscious or act out in the relationship. And being your true self in a relationship is of paramount importance for a healthy union.

2. You are familiar with each other’s bad side.

As best friends, you know each others’ weaknesses, insecurities and dark sides all too well. In fact, you know each other so well that some reprehensible little habits have become strangely endearing.

3. You are more or less aware of each other’s relationship histories.

That means it’s unlikely there will be any serious surprises popping out of nowhere in your relationship since you share a common past.

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4. Your fights and disagreements are less damaging.

All couples have a few disagreements and fights from time to time. However, when your partner is your best friend, actual fights and disagreements that could easily spiral into full blown wars often start to fizzle out into playful fighting by the time they are over.

5. The process of adjusting to your partner’s tastes is much smoother.

That’s because you’re already accustomed to each other. You have a sense of what your partner likes and dislikes and know exactly what to expect of them. This means you’re both well equipped to deal with any arising issues.

6. You see each other in true form.

Best friends see beyond the façade we put on display publicly. They see right through to our well guarded selves within. When your partner is your best friend, he or she knows you for who you truly are and accepts you just the way you are. You have each other down to a science. So much so that you both know if you were ever to try anything fishy, you’d be able to bust each other immediately.

7. You have way too many inside jokes that no one else understands.

As best friends, the random laughing, singing and dancing that goes on between the two of you is the stuff of envy and admiration. You’ve even coined hilarious inside words and phrases that could quite possibly be incriminating, but aren’t.

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8. You can wear each other’s clothes.

It may be considered weird for lovers to wear each other’s clothes, but when couples are best friends, weird is often the norm. Hearing couples ask questions like, “Can I wear those sweatpants today?” is a totally normal thing that happens when your partner is your best friend.

9. You don’t have to call each other all the time to know that you have each other on the mind.

You can actually go a little while without talking to each other and be completely fine. You just don’t worry you’ll let your partner down because you know each other too well for such petty worries.

10. You have movies and TV shows that you watch together.

And if one of you were to watch one of them without the other, World War III would probably break out in your residence. But truth be told, it is just so endearing and warming when you watch your favorite movies and television shows together.

11. You can do fun, childlike things together.

As best friends, you’ve actually already done some pretty childish things together, like skipping instead of walking and licking the bowl of brownie batter. And you are not about to stop it, because you’re so comfortable with each other that embarrassment is no longer even a factor.

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12. You can be totally honest with each other.

Best friends tell each other the truth and trust one another more than anyone else. When your partner is your best friend, he can criticize you without you misunderstanding the intention behind it. You can also tell him when you think he’s being silly, and he has no problem with it.

13. You don’t worry your partner might say or do something silly in front of your family.

That’s because both your families have seen you two walk and grow together as good friends and as a couple for a long time. They’ve witnessed it all and are completely at ease and comfortable with you. Silly mistakes in front of your parents, ironically, endear them more.

14. You connect at a much deeper level.

It often seems like you always know what your partner wants even when they haven’t spelled it out. You are totally in sync, thanks in large part to the friendship foundation you have built, and have (and most likely will continue to) enjoy each other’s company for years.

15. You can see yourself growing old together.

Growing old with your best friend is the best thing that can happen – pun intended. Imagine having to spend your sunset years stuck with someone you can’t stand.

Fortunately, with your partner as your best friend, you don’t have to worry about that happening to you. Your love is based on genuine friendship, and blossomed into real love. Not everyone gets to have that in life.

More by this author

David K. William

David is a publisher and entrepreneur who tries to help professionals grow their business and careers, and gives advice for entrepreneurs.

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Last Updated on February 21, 2019

The Secret to Effective Conflict Resolution: The IBR Approach

The Secret to Effective Conflict Resolution: The IBR Approach

In business, in social relationships, in family… In whatever context conflict is always inevitable, especially when you are in the leader role. This role equals “make decisions for the best of majority” and the remaining are not amused. Conflicts arise.

Conflicts arise when we want to push for a better quality work but some members want to take a break from work.

Conflicts arise when we as citizens want more recreational facilities but the Government has to balance the needs to maintain tourism growth.

Conflicts are literally everywhere.

Avoiding Conflicts a No-No and Resolving Conflicts a Win-Win

Avoiding conflicts seem to be a viable option for us. The cruel fact is, it isn’t. Conflicts won’t walk away by themselves. They will, instead, escalate and haunt you back even more when we finally realize that’s no way we can let it be.

Moreover, avoiding conflicts will eventually intensify the misunderstanding among the involved parties. And the misunderstanding severely hinders open communication which later on the parties tend to keep things secret. This is obviously detrimental to teamwork.

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Some may view conflicts as the last step before arguments. And they thus leave it aside as if they never happen. This is not true.

Conflicts are the intersect point between different individuals with different opinions. And this does not necessarily lead to argument.

Instead, proper handling of conflicts can actually result in a win-win situation – both parties are pleased and allies are gained. A better understanding between each other and future conflicts are less likely to happen.

The IBR Approach to Resolve Conflicts

Here, we introduce to you an effective approach to resolve conflicts – the Interest-Based Relational (IBR) approach. The IBR approach was developed by Roger Fisher and William Ury in their 1981 book Getting to Yes. It stresses the importance of the separation between people and their emotions from the problem. Another focus of the approach is to build mutual understanding and respect as they strengthen bonds among parties and can ultimately help resolve conflicts in a harmonious way. The approach suggests a 6-step procedure for conflict resolution:

Step 1: Prioritize Good Relationships

How? Before addressing the problem or even starting the discussion, make it clear the conflict can result in a mutual trouble and through subsequent respectful negotiation the conflict can be resolved peacefully. And that brings the best outcome to the whole team by working together.

Why? It is easy to overlook own cause of the conflict and point the finger to the members with different opinions. With such a mindset, it is likely to blame rather than to listen to the others and fail to acknowledge the problem completely. Such a discussion manner will undermine the good relationships among the members and aggravate the problem.

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Example: Before discussion, stress that the problem is never one’s complete fault. Everyone is responsible for it. Then, it is important to point out our own involvement in the problem and state clearly we are here to listen to everyone’s opinions rather than accusing others.

Step 2: People Are NOT the Cause of Problem

How? State clearly the problem is never one-sided. Collaborative effort is needed. More importantly, note the problem should not be taken personally. We are not making accusations on persons but addressing the problem itself.

Why? Once things taken personally, everything will go out of control. People will become irrational and neglect others’ opinions. We are then unable to address the problem properly because we cannot grasp a fuller and clearer picture of the problem due to presumption.

Example: In spite of the confronting opinions, we have to emphasize that the problem is not a result of the persons but probably the different perspectives to view it. So, if we try to look at the problem from the other’s perspective, we may understand why there are varied opinions.

Step 3: Listen From ALL Stances

How? Do NOT blame others. It is of utmost importance. Ask for everyone’s opinions. It is important to let everyone feel that they contribute to the discussion. Tell them their involvement is essential to solve the problem and their effort is very much appreciated.

Why? None wants to be ignored. If one feels neglected, it is very likely for he/she to be aggressive. It is definitely not what we hope to see in a discussion. Acknowledging and being acknowledged are equally important. So, make sure everyone has equal opportunity to express their views. Also, realizing their opinions are not neglected, they will be more receptive to other opinions.

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Example: A little trick can played here: Invite others to talk first. It is an easy way to let others feel involved and ,more importantly, know their voices are heard. Also, we can show that we are actively listening to them by giving direct eye-contact and nodding. One important to note is that never interrupt anyone. Always let them finish first beforeanother one begins.

Step 4: Listen Comes First, Talk Follows

How? Ensure everyone has listened to one another points of view. It can be done by taking turn to speak and leaving the discussion part at last. State once again the problem is nothing personal and no accusation should be made.

Why? By turn-taking, everyone can finish talking and voices of all sides can be heard indiscriminantly. This can promote willingness to listen to opposing opinions.

Example: We can prepare pieces of paper with different numbers written on them. Then, ask different members to pick one and talk according to the sequence of the number. After everyone’s finished, advise everyone to use “I” more than “You” in the discussion period to avoid others thinking that it is an accusation.

Step 5: Understand the Facts, Then Address the Problem

How? List out ALL the facts first. Ask everyone to tell what they know about the problems.

Why? Sometimes your facts are unknown to the others while they may know something we don’t. Missing out on these facts could possibly lead to inaccurate capture of the problem. Also, different known facts can lead to different perception of the matter. It also helps everyone better understand the problem and can eventually help reach a solution.

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Example: While everyone is expressing their own views, ask them to write down everything they know that is true to the problem. As soon as everyone has finished, all facts can be noted and everyone’s understanding of the problem is raised.

Step 6: Solve the Problem Together

How? Knowing what everyone’s thinking, it is now time to resolve the conflict. Up to this point, everyone should have understood the problem better. So, it is everyone’s time to suggest some solutions. It is important not to have one giving all the solutions.

Why? Having everyone suggesting their solutions is important as they will not feel excluded and their opinions are considered. Besides, it may also generate more solutions that can better resolve the conflicts. Everyone will more likely be satisfied with the result.

Example: After discussion, ask all members to suggest any possible solutions and stress that all solutions are welcomed. State clearly that we are looking for the best outcomes for everyone’s sake rather than battling to win over one another. Then, evaluate all the solutions and pick the one that is in favor of everyone.

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