Advertising

15 Reasons Why Your Partner Should Be Your Best Friend

Advertising
15 Reasons Why Your Partner Should Be Your Best Friend

Should you really be best friends with your partner?

Some people argue it’s better to have someone else other than your partner as your best friend. Such people may claim that a relationship with your partner is different from that with your best friend and that you shouldn’t put all your eggs in one basket.

While these people want a lover and lifetime partner, and even profess to “love” their partners, it can be argued they don’t really “like” their partner, which (if true) points to something disjointed in the relationship that should probably be looked into.

Of course, there are no hard and fast rules about what is right or wrong in relationships. What matters is whether something works for you. But, for the vast majority of people, coupling and even marrying their best friend works beautifully.

Advertising

It is arguably your best bet for finding true and lasting love. Here’s why there is nothing better than having your partner as your best friend.

1. You are more yourself in the relationship.

That’s because you are already close friends. You have no reason to feel self-conscious or act out in the relationship. And being your true self in a relationship is of paramount importance for a healthy union.

2. You are familiar with each other’s bad side.

As best friends, you know each others’ weaknesses, insecurities and dark sides all too well. In fact, you know each other so well that some reprehensible little habits have become strangely endearing.

3. You are more or less aware of each other’s relationship histories.

That means it’s unlikely there will be any serious surprises popping out of nowhere in your relationship since you share a common past.

Advertising

4. Your fights and disagreements are less damaging.

All couples have a few disagreements and fights from time to time. However, when your partner is your best friend, actual fights and disagreements that could easily spiral into full blown wars often start to fizzle out into playful fighting by the time they are over.

5. The process of adjusting to your partner’s tastes is much smoother.

That’s because you’re already accustomed to each other. You have a sense of what your partner likes and dislikes and know exactly what to expect of them. This means you’re both well equipped to deal with any arising issues.

6. You see each other in true form.

Best friends see beyond the façade we put on display publicly. They see right through to our well guarded selves within. When your partner is your best friend, he or she knows you for who you truly are and accepts you just the way you are. You have each other down to a science. So much so that you both know if you were ever to try anything fishy, you’d be able to bust each other immediately.

7. You have way too many inside jokes that no one else understands.

As best friends, the random laughing, singing and dancing that goes on between the two of you is the stuff of envy and admiration. You’ve even coined hilarious inside words and phrases that could quite possibly be incriminating, but aren’t.

Advertising

8. You can wear each other’s clothes.

It may be considered weird for lovers to wear each other’s clothes, but when couples are best friends, weird is often the norm. Hearing couples ask questions like, “Can I wear those sweatpants today?” is a totally normal thing that happens when your partner is your best friend.

9. You don’t have to call each other all the time to know that you have each other on the mind.

You can actually go a little while without talking to each other and be completely fine. You just don’t worry you’ll let your partner down because you know each other too well for such petty worries.

10. You have movies and TV shows that you watch together.

And if one of you were to watch one of them without the other, World War III would probably break out in your residence. But truth be told, it is just so endearing and warming when you watch your favorite movies and television shows together.

11. You can do fun, childlike things together.

As best friends, you’ve actually already done some pretty childish things together, like skipping instead of walking and licking the bowl of brownie batter. And you are not about to stop it, because you’re so comfortable with each other that embarrassment is no longer even a factor.

Advertising

12. You can be totally honest with each other.

Best friends tell each other the truth and trust one another more than anyone else. When your partner is your best friend, he can criticize you without you misunderstanding the intention behind it. You can also tell him when you think he’s being silly, and he has no problem with it.

13. You don’t worry your partner might say or do something silly in front of your family.

That’s because both your families have seen you two walk and grow together as good friends and as a couple for a long time. They’ve witnessed it all and are completely at ease and comfortable with you. Silly mistakes in front of your parents, ironically, endear them more.

14. You connect at a much deeper level.

It often seems like you always know what your partner wants even when they haven’t spelled it out. You are totally in sync, thanks in large part to the friendship foundation you have built, and have (and most likely will continue to) enjoy each other’s company for years.

15. You can see yourself growing old together.

Growing old with your best friend is the best thing that can happen – pun intended. Imagine having to spend your sunset years stuck with someone you can’t stand.

Advertising

Fortunately, with your partner as your best friend, you don’t have to worry about that happening to you. Your love is based on genuine friendship, and blossomed into real love. Not everyone gets to have that in life.

More by this author

David K. William

David is a publisher and entrepreneur who tries to help professionals grow their business and careers, and gives advice for entrepreneurs.

10 Reasons Why Some People Feel Like They Don’t Have Enough Time 25 Memory Exercises That Actually Help You Remember More 10 Mini Hacks to Overcome Procrastination 12 Simple Ways to Boost Your Confidence Right Now 10 Amazing Health Benefits Of Beer You Probably Never Knew

Trending in Communication

1 10 Signs You Are in a Codependent Relationship (And What To Do About It) 2 I Want To Be Happy: 7 Science-Backed Ways to Find Happiness 3 13 Ways Happy People Think and Feel Differently 4 10 Morning Habits Of Happy People 5 What Makes People Happy? 20 Secrets of “Always Happy” People

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on July 20, 2021

How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)

Advertising
How to Overcome the Fear of Public Speaking (A Step-by-Step Guide)

You’re standing behind the curtain, just about to make your way on stage to face the many faces half-shrouded in darkness in front of you. As you move towards the spotlight, your body starts to feel heavier with each step. A familiar thump echoes throughout your body – your heartbeat has gone off the charts.

Don’t worry, you’re not the only one with glossophobia(also known as speech anxiety or the fear of speaking to large crowds). Sometimes, the anxiety happens long before you even stand on stage.

Your body’s defence mechanism responds by causing a part of your brain to release adrenaline into your blood – the same chemical that gets released as if you were being chased by a lion.

Here’s a step-by-step guide to help you overcome your fear of public speaking:

1. Prepare yourself mentally and physically

According to experts, we’re built to display anxiety and to recognize it in others. If your body and mind are anxious, your audience will notice. Hence, it’s important to prepare yourself before the big show so that you arrive on stage confident, collected and ready.

“Your outside world is a reflection of your inside world. What goes on in the inside, shows on the outside.” – Bob Proctor

Exercising lightly before a presentation helps get your blood circulating and sends oxygen to the brain. Mental exercises, on the other hand, can help calm the mind and nerves. Here are some useful ways to calm your racing heart when you start to feel the butterflies in your stomach:

Warming up

If you’re nervous, chances are your body will feel the same way. Your body gets tense, your muscles feel tight or you’re breaking in cold sweat. The audience will notice you are nervous.

If you observe that this is exactly what is happening to you minutes before a speech, do a couple of stretches to loosen and relax your body. It’s better to warm up before every speech as it helps to increase the functional potential of the body as a whole. Not only that, it increases muscle efficiency, improves reaction time and your movements.

Here are some exercises to loosen up your body before show time:

Advertising

  1. Neck and shoulder rolls – This helps relieve upper body muscle tension and pressure as the rolls focus on rotating the head and shoulders, loosening the muscle. Stress and anxiety can make us rigid within this area which can make you feel agitated, especially when standing.
  2. Arm stretches – We often use this part of our muscles during a speech or presentation through our hand gestures and movements. Stretching these muscles can reduce arm fatigue, loosen you up and improve your body language range.
  3. Waist twists – Place your hands on your hips and rotate your waist in a circular motion. This exercise focuses on loosening the abdominal and lower back regions which is essential as it can cause discomfort and pain, further amplifying any anxieties you may experience.

Stay hydrated

Ever felt parched seconds before speaking? And then coming up on stage sounding raspy and scratchy in front of the audience? This happens because the adrenaline from stage fright causes your mouth to feel dried out.

To prevent all that, it’s essential we stay adequately hydrated before a speech. A sip of water will do the trick. However, do drink in moderation so that you won’t need to go to the bathroom constantly.

Try to avoid sugary beverages and caffeine, since it’s a diuretic – meaning you’ll feel thirstier. It will also amplify your anxiety which prevents you from speaking smoothly.

Meditate

Meditation is well-known as a powerful tool to calm the mind. ABC’s Dan Harris, co-anchor of Nightline and Good Morning America weekend and author of the book titled10% Happier , recommends that meditation can help individuals to feel significantly calmer, faster.

Meditation is like a workout for your mind. It gives you the strength and focus to filter out the negativity and distractions with words of encouragement, confidence and strength.

Mindfulness meditation, in particular, is a popular method to calm yourself before going up on the big stage. The practice involves sitting comfortably, focusing on your breathing and then bringing your mind’s attention to the present without drifting into concerns about the past or future – which likely includes floundering on stage.

Here’s a nice example of guided meditation before public speaking:

2. Focus on your goal

One thing people with a fear of public speaking have in common is focusing too much on themselves and the possibility of failure.

Do I look funny? What if I can’t remember what to say? Do I look stupid? Will people listen to me? Does anyone care about what I’m talking about?’

Instead of thinking this way, shift your attention to your one true purpose – contributing something of value to your audience.

Advertising

Decide on the progress you’d like your audience to make after your presentation. Notice their movements and expressions to adapt your speech to ensure that they are having a good time to leave the room as better people.

If your own focus isn’t beneficial and what it should be when you’re speaking, then shift it to what does. This is also key to establishing trust during your presentation as the audience can clearly see that you have their interests at heart.[1]

3. Convert negativity to positivity

There are two sides constantly battling inside of us – one is filled with strength and courage while the other is doubt and insecurities. Which one will you feed?

‘What if I mess up this speech? What if I’m not funny enough? What if I forget what to say?’

It’s no wonder why many of us are uncomfortable giving a presentation. All we do is bring ourselves down before we got a chance to prove ourselves. This is also known as a self-fulfilling prophecy – a belief that comes true because we are acting as if it already is. If you think you’re incompetent, then it will eventually become true.

Motivational coaches tout that positive mantras and affirmations tend to boost your confidents for the moments that matter most. Say to yourself: “I’ll ace this speech and I can do it!”

Take advantage of your adrenaline rush to encourage positive outcome rather than thinking of the negative ‘what ifs’.

Here’s a video of Psychologist Kelly McGonigal who encourages her audience to turn stress into something positive as well as provide methods on how to cope with it:

4. Understand your content

Knowing your content at your fingertips helps reduce your anxiety because there is one less thing to worry about. One way to get there is to practice numerous times before your actual speech.

Advertising

However, memorizing your script word-for-word is not encouraged. You can end up freezing should you forget something. You’ll also risk sounding unnatural and less approachable.

“No amount of reading or memorizing will make you successful in life. It is the understanding and the application of wise thought that counts.” – Bob Proctor

Many people unconsciously make the mistake of reading from their slides or memorizing their script word-for-word without understanding their content – a definite way to stress themselves out.

Understanding your speech flow and content makes it easier for you to convert ideas and concepts into your own words which you can then clearly explain to others in a conversational manner. Designing your slides to include text prompts is also an easy hack to ensure you get to quickly recall your flow when your mind goes blank.[2]

One way to understand is to memorize the over-arching concepts or ideas in your pitch. It helps you speak more naturally and let your personality shine through. It’s almost like taking your audience on a journey with a few key milestones.

5. Practice makes perfect

Like most people, many of us are not naturally attuned to public speaking. Rarely do individuals walk up to a large audience and present flawlessly without any research and preparation.

In fact, some of the top presenters make it look easy during showtime because they have spent countless hours behind-the-scenes in deep practice. Even great speakers like the late John F. Kennedy would spend months preparing his speech beforehand.

Public speaking, like any other skill, requires practice – whether it be practicing your speech countless of times in front of a mirror or making notes. As the saying goes, practice makes perfect!

6. Be authentic

There’s nothing wrong with feeling stressed before going up to speak in front of an audience.

Many people fear public speaking because they fear others will judge them for showing their true, vulnerable self. However, vulnerability can sometimes help you come across as more authentic and relatable as a speaker.

Advertising

Drop the pretence of trying to act or speak like someone else and you’ll find that it’s worth the risk. You become more genuine, flexible and spontaneous, which makes it easier to handle unpredictable situations – whether it’s getting tough questions from the crowd or experiencing an unexpected technical difficulty.

To find out your authentic style of speaking is easy. Just pick a topic or issue you are passionate about and discuss this like you normally would with a close family or friend. It is like having a conversation with someone in a personal one-to-one setting. A great way to do this on stage is to select a random audience member(with a hopefully calming face) and speak to a single person at a time during your speech. You’ll find that it’s easier trying to connect to one person at a time than a whole room.

With that said, being comfortable enough to be yourself in front of others may take a little time and some experience, depending how comfortable you are with being yourself in front of others. But once you embrace it, stage fright will not be as intimidating as you initially thought.

Presenters like Barack Obama are a prime example of a genuine and passionate speaker:

7. Post speech evaluation

Last but not the least, if you’ve done public speaking and have been scarred from a bad experience, try seeing it as a lesson learned to improve yourself as a speaker.

Don’t beat yourself up after a presentation

We are the hardest on ourselves and it’s good to be. But when you finish delivering your speech or presentation, give yourself some recognition and a pat on the back.

You managed to finish whatever you had to do and did not give up. You did not let your fears and insecurities get to you. Take a little more pride in your work and believe in yourself.

Improve your next speech

As mentioned before, practice does make perfect. If you want to improve your public speaking skills, try asking someone to film you during a speech or presentation. Afterwards, watch and observe what you can do to improve yourself next time.

Here are some questions you can ask yourself after every speech:

Advertising

  • How did I do?
  • Are there any areas for improvement?
  • Did I sound or look stressed?
  • Did I stumble on my words? Why?
  • Was I saying “um” too often?
  • How was the flow of the speech?

Write everything you observed down and keep practicing and improving. In time, you’ll be able to better manage your fears of public speaking and appear more confident when it counts.

If you want even more tips about public speaking or delivering a great presentation, check out these articles too:

Reference

Read Next