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15 Reasons Why Your Partner Should Be Your Best Friend

15 Reasons Why Your Partner Should Be Your Best Friend

Should you really be best friends with your partner?

Some people argue it’s better to have someone else other than your partner as your best friend. Such people may claim that a relationship with your partner is different from that with your best friend and that you shouldn’t put all your eggs in one basket.

While these people want a lover and lifetime partner, and even profess to “love” their partners, it can be argued they don’t really “like” their partner, which (if true) points to something disjointed in the relationship that should probably be looked into.

Of course, there are no hard and fast rules about what is right or wrong in relationships. What matters is whether something works for you. But, for the vast majority of people, coupling and even marrying their best friend works beautifully.

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It is arguably your best bet for finding true and lasting love. Here’s why there is nothing better than having your partner as your best friend.

1. You are more yourself in the relationship.

That’s because you are already close friends. You have no reason to feel self-conscious or act out in the relationship. And being your true self in a relationship is of paramount importance for a healthy union.

2. You are familiar with each other’s bad side.

As best friends, you know each others’ weaknesses, insecurities and dark sides all too well. In fact, you know each other so well that some reprehensible little habits have become strangely endearing.

3. You are more or less aware of each other’s relationship histories.

That means it’s unlikely there will be any serious surprises popping out of nowhere in your relationship since you share a common past.

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4. Your fights and disagreements are less damaging.

All couples have a few disagreements and fights from time to time. However, when your partner is your best friend, actual fights and disagreements that could easily spiral into full blown wars often start to fizzle out into playful fighting by the time they are over.

5. The process of adjusting to your partner’s tastes is much smoother.

That’s because you’re already accustomed to each other. You have a sense of what your partner likes and dislikes and know exactly what to expect of them. This means you’re both well equipped to deal with any arising issues.

6. You see each other in true form.

Best friends see beyond the façade we put on display publicly. They see right through to our well guarded selves within. When your partner is your best friend, he or she knows you for who you truly are and accepts you just the way you are. You have each other down to a science. So much so that you both know if you were ever to try anything fishy, you’d be able to bust each other immediately.

7. You have way too many inside jokes that no one else understands.

As best friends, the random laughing, singing and dancing that goes on between the two of you is the stuff of envy and admiration. You’ve even coined hilarious inside words and phrases that could quite possibly be incriminating, but aren’t.

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8. You can wear each other’s clothes.

It may be considered weird for lovers to wear each other’s clothes, but when couples are best friends, weird is often the norm. Hearing couples ask questions like, “Can I wear those sweatpants today?” is a totally normal thing that happens when your partner is your best friend.

9. You don’t have to call each other all the time to know that you have each other on the mind.

You can actually go a little while without talking to each other and be completely fine. You just don’t worry you’ll let your partner down because you know each other too well for such petty worries.

10. You have movies and TV shows that you watch together.

And if one of you were to watch one of them without the other, World War III would probably break out in your residence. But truth be told, it is just so endearing and warming when you watch your favorite movies and television shows together.

11. You can do fun, childlike things together.

As best friends, you’ve actually already done some pretty childish things together, like skipping instead of walking and licking the bowl of brownie batter. And you are not about to stop it, because you’re so comfortable with each other that embarrassment is no longer even a factor.

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12. You can be totally honest with each other.

Best friends tell each other the truth and trust one another more than anyone else. When your partner is your best friend, he can criticize you without you misunderstanding the intention behind it. You can also tell him when you think he’s being silly, and he has no problem with it.

13. You don’t worry your partner might say or do something silly in front of your family.

That’s because both your families have seen you two walk and grow together as good friends and as a couple for a long time. They’ve witnessed it all and are completely at ease and comfortable with you. Silly mistakes in front of your parents, ironically, endear them more.

14. You connect at a much deeper level.

It often seems like you always know what your partner wants even when they haven’t spelled it out. You are totally in sync, thanks in large part to the friendship foundation you have built, and have (and most likely will continue to) enjoy each other’s company for years.

15. You can see yourself growing old together.

Growing old with your best friend is the best thing that can happen – pun intended. Imagine having to spend your sunset years stuck with someone you can’t stand.

Fortunately, with your partner as your best friend, you don’t have to worry about that happening to you. Your love is based on genuine friendship, and blossomed into real love. Not everyone gets to have that in life.

More by this author

David K. William

David is a publisher and entrepreneur who tries to help professionals grow their business and careers, and gives advice for entrepreneurs.

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Last Updated on January 15, 2021

7 Ways To Have More Confident Body Language

7 Ways To Have More Confident Body Language

The popular idiomatic saying that “actions speak louder than words” has been around for centuries, but even to this day, most people struggle with at least one area of nonverbal communication. Consequently, many of us aspire to have more confident body language but don’t have the knowledge and tools necessary to change what are largely unconscious behaviors.

Given that others’ perceptions of our competence and confidence are predominantly influenced by what we do with our faces and bodies, it’s important to develop greater self-awareness and consciously practice better posture, stance, eye contact, facial expressions, hand movements, and other aspects of body language.

Posture

First things first: how is your posture? Let’s start with a quick self-assessment of your body.

  • Are your shoulders slumped over or rolled back in an upright posture?
  • When you stand up, do you evenly distribute your weight or lean excessively to one side?
  • Does your natural stance place your feet relatively shoulder-width apart or are your feet and legs close together in a closed-off position?
  • When you sit, does your lower back protrude out in a slumped position or maintain a straight, spine-friendly posture in your seat?

All of these are important considerations to make when evaluating and improving your posture and stance, which will lead to more confident body language over time. If you routinely struggle with maintaining good posture, consider buying a posture trainer/corrector, consulting a chiropractor or physical therapist, stretching daily, and strengthening both your core and back muscles.

Facial Expressions

Are you prone to any of the following in personal or professional settings?

  • Bruxism (tight, clenched jaw or grinding teeth)
  • Frowning and/or furrowing brows
  • Avoiding direct eye contact and/or staring at the ground

If you answered “yes” to any of these, then let’s start by examining various ways in which you can project confident body language through your facial expressions.

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1. Understand How Others Perceive Your Facial Expressions

A December 2020 study by UC Berkeley and Google researchers utilized a deep neural network to analyze facial expressions in six million YouTube clips representing people from over 140 countries. The study found that, despite socio-cultural differences, people around the world tended to use about 70% of the same facial expressions in response to different emotional stimuli and situations.[1]

The study’s researchers also published a fascinating interactive map to demonstrate how their machine learning technology assessed various facial expressions and determined subtle differences in emotional responses.

This study highlights the social importance of facial expressions because whether or not we’re consciously aware of them—by gazing into a mirror or your screen on a video conferencing platform—how we present our faces to others can have tremendous impacts on their perceptions of us, our confidence, and our emotional states. This awareness is the essential first step towards

2. Relax Your Face

New research on bruxism and facial tension found the stresses and anxieties of Covid-19 lockdowns led to considerable increases in orofacial pain, jaw-clenching, and teeth grinding, particularly among women.[2]

The National Institute of Dental and Craniofacial Research estimates that more than 10 million Americans alone have temporomandibular joint dysfunction (TMJ syndrome), and facial tension can lead to other complications such as insomnia, wrinkles, dry skin, and dark, puffy bags under your eyes.[3])

To avoid these unpleasant outcomes, start practicing progressive muscle relaxation techniques and taking breaks more frequently throughout the day to moderate facial tension.[4] You should also try out some biofeedback techniques to enhance your awareness of involuntary bodily processes like facial tension and achieve more confident body language as a result.[5]

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3. Improve Your Eye Contact

Did you know there’s an entire subfield of kinesic communication research dedicated to eye movements and behaviors called oculesics?[6] It refers to various communication behaviors including direct eye contact, averting one’s gaze, pupil dilation/constriction, and even frequency of blinking. All of these qualities can shape how other people perceive you, which means that eye contact is yet another area of nonverbal body language that we should be more mindful of in social interactions.

The ideal type (direct/indirect) and duration of eye contact depends on a variety of factors, such as cultural setting, differences in power/authority/age between the parties involved, and communication context. Research has shown that differences in the effects of eye contact are particularly prominent when comparing East Asian and Western European/North American cultures.[7]

To improve your eye contact with others, strive to maintain consistent contact for at least 3 to 4 seconds at a time, consciously consider where you’re looking while listening to someone else, and practice eye contact as much as possible (as strange as this may seem in the beginning, it’s the best way to improve).

3. Smile More

There are many benefits to smiling and laughing, and when it comes to working on more confident body language, this is an area that should be fun, low-stakes, and relatively stress-free.

Smiling is associated with the “happiness chemical” dopamine and the mood-stabilizing hormone, serotonin. Many empirical studies have shown that smiling generally leads to positive outcomes for the person smiling, and further research has shown that smiling can influence listeners’ perceptions of our confidence and trustworthiness as well.

4. Hand Gestures

Similar to facial expressions and posture, what you do with your hands while speaking or listening in a conversation can significantly influence others’ perceptions of you in positive or negative ways.

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It’s undoubtedly challenging to consciously account for all of your nonverbal signals while simultaneously trying to stay engaged with the verbal part of the discussion, but putting in the effort to develop more bodily awareness now will make it much easier to unconsciously project more confident body language later on.

5. Enhance Your Handshake

In the article, “An Anthropology of the Handshake,” University of Copenhagen social anthropology professor Bjarke Oxlund assessed the future of handshaking in wake of the Covid-19 pandemic:[8]

“Handshakes not only vary in function and meaning but do so according to social context, situation and scale. . . a public discussion should ensue on the advantages and disadvantages of holding on to the tradition of shaking hands as the conventional gesture of greeting and leave-taking in a variety of circumstances.”

It’s too early to determine some of the ways in which Covid-19 has permanently changed our social norms and professional etiquette standards, but it’s reasonable to assume that handshaking may retain its importance in American society even after this pandemic. To practice more confident body language in the meantime, the video on the science of the perfect handshake below explains what you need to know.

6. Complement Your Verbals With Hand Gestures

As you know by now, confident communication involves so much more than simply smiling more or sounding like you know what you’re talking about. What you do with your hands can be particularly influential in how others perceive you, whether you’re fidgeting with an object, clenching your fists, hiding your hands in your pockets, or calmly gesturing to emphasize important points you’re discussing.

Social psychology researchers have found that “iconic gestures”—hand movements that appear to be meaningfully related to the speaker’s verbal content—can have profound impacts on listeners’ information retention. In other words, people are more likely to engage with you and remember more of what you said when you speak with complementary hand gestures instead of just your voice.[9]

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Further research on hand gestures has shown that even your choice of the left or right hand for gesturing can influence your ability to clearly convey information to listeners, which supports the notion that more confident body language is readily achievable through greater self-awareness and deliberate nonverbal actions.[10]

Final Takeaways

Developing better posture, enhancing your facial expressiveness, and practicing hand gestures can vastly improve your communication with other people. At first, it will be challenging to consciously practice nonverbal behaviors that many of us are accustomed to performing daily without thinking about them.

If you ever feel discouraged, however, remember that there’s no downside to consistently putting in just a little more time and effort to increase your bodily awareness. With the tips and strategies above, you’ll be well on your way to embracing more confident body language and amplifying others’ perceptions of you in no time.

More Tips on How to Develop a Confident Body Language

Featured photo credit: Maria Lupan via unsplash.com

Reference

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