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Last Updated on July 21, 2021

15 Habits of Highly Miserable People

15 Habits of Highly Miserable People
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The definition of a miserable person is wretchedly unhappy or uncomfortable. That is pretty spot on, don’t you think?

When a person is miserable, they never see or expect the good in anything and always try to make those around them feel just as bad and negative as them. Being miserable is a way of life for some people because they get sympathy, constant reassurance from other miserable people and a sense of self, defined by whatever circumstance they find themselves in.

If you are tired of being miserable and want a happy existence , I’ve come up with a few habits of highly miserable people that you can avoid. If you can identify and change one around, you’ll be well on your way to a good life again!

1. They’re never thankful for anything.

Being grateful and thankful for anything in a highly miserable person’s life is a big no!

When a person shows gratitude, they should do it from a point of view of happiness and are usually ten times more likely to be thankful for things they already have rather than the things they don’t.

A miserable person avoids any expressions of gratitude at all costs because it goes against what they believe. They think that counting their blessings is a waste of time and life will always be full of something to be ungrateful about.

2. They lead a very unadventurous life.

Highly miserable people lead a dull, boring and unadventurous life. They ensure to have a mundane existence, with no fun, no possibility or excitement and then complain about it!

When life is unadventurous and boring, they’ll start to believe that they are boring and project that upon other people.

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Life is predictable as far as a highly miserable person is concerned. TV is a big activity in this kind of life coupled with addiction and other mediocre activities such as reading tabloid papers and celebrity magazines, none of which stimulate or invigorate the body or mind.

3. They live in and glorify the past.

We’ve all done it, said things like ‘it was so much better when I was a kid’ except highly miserable people tend to live their lives stuck in the past rather than remembering it fondly and moving on.

They’ll talk about what has happened, what they have done and what it was like back then, saying that life has only gone downhill since.

When a highly miserable people vilify the past, they refer to it as being born in the wrong place at the wrong time, or life when they were a kid was unhappy and they never got what they wanted.

4. They do things for personal gain.

“All the happiness in the world stems from wanting others to be happy, and all the suffering in the world stems from wanting the self to be happy.” – Shantideva

Being self-centered and only doing things for personal gain is an extreme habit of a highly miserable person.

Life is about having and gaining more and getting it no matter how they get it, even at the expense of others. They’ll surround themselves with like-minded people and even take on ‘professions’ that involve criminal activities. They’ll have no qualm about taking from others or acting as if they are doing good whereas their intentions are not so.

5. They are afraid of economic loss.

Fear is a good habit to have if you want to be a highly miserable person.

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Fear keep miserable people from doing a job they absolutely hate; it makes them work long unbearable hours working for a company that doesn’t care about its employees.

They are greedy and stingy with money, generosity isn’t even in their vocabulary; and if it is, there is personal gain involved.

They’ll become ill because of their money worries, probably depressed and lose friends/family as a result. If they could, they’d sit and worry all day long, thinking about what they could lose if they took a risk, left their job or tried something different.

6. They love to pick fights.

Every now and again, a highly miserable person often picks a fight out of the blue with someone close to them. They usually pick a fight about something absurd and completely unrelated to their current situation.

Secondly, they expect that person to respond with kindness and sympathy and if they don’t, they’ll be quick to point it out. If however the other party mentions it again, they’ll be sure to make it seem as if they don’t know what they are talking about and that they never intended for the situation to occur. They’ll quickly act to be hurt and be the victim, even though they started the fight.

7. They blame others and play the victim.

Highly miserable people are brilliant at blaming their parents, because, after all, they were the ones who brought them to this world and shaped who they were.

Typically, they’ll also blame the bully who bullied them as a kid, a teacher who didn’t like them or a friend who never wanted to do what they wanted to do.

They simply can’t let go of the idea of playing the blame game.

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8. They think people’s intentions towards them are always dishonorable.

They’ll take any remark, comment or opinion the wrong way, believing that whoever gave it is trying to insult, belittle or put them down. They believe that humiliation is at the forefront of most people’s intentions of which will make a highly miserable person distrustful, resentful and always on the defense.

Miserable people expect the very worst from people and can’t imagine a person acting on good intentions.

9. They give themselves a negative identity and revel in it.

Highly miserable people let their perceived emotional problem absorbs their very core.

For example, if they suffered from anxiety, depression, grief of some sort, they’d define them as a person. They also try to make everyone know exactly what’s wrong with them. They make this the focus of their life, talking about it constantly, and bringing it up at every opportunity.

10. They get involved in others’ drama.

They are the center point of all the drama in their lives and others’. This includes family and community dramas.

They want to be the person that people will turn to, to share their miserableness with and to help carry the drama to new levels; exaggerating situations and consoling others with their own sorry stories about how life has dealt them a cruel hand.

11. They always expect the worst.

Life sucks and all the bad stuff happens to them, is the mantra of a miserable person.

Optimism for the future is nonsense and being positive will only be done in vain. To them, their marriage probably won’t work out, their children won’t love them, their house will fall apart and their job is an unbearable chore.

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12. They focus only on themselves.

Highly miserable people focus on themselves, their needs and their problems, as they believe that nobody else’s issues or struggles are as bad as theirs.

They worry all the time about why they do things, why they behave in certain ways, while analyzing their flaws and chewing over their problems.

13. They are critical of everything.

Nothing is good enough, nothing works and nothing makes a highly miserable person happy. They are critical of everything whether people agree with them or not.

Miserable people always voice their opinion before everyone else. They criticize something that someone loves just to make sure their point is heard. They love to antagonize and believe they are always right while everyone else is always wrong.

14. They worry too much.

Worry makes people miserable. Miserable people won’t listen to reasons and are obsessed with situations and things they have no control over.

Worrying feeds into their misery so it’s only natural that these types of people are worrisome by nature.

15. They are envious of other people’s success.

Miserable people won’t outright say they are envious of other people’s successes. What they will do however, is to put down other people’s achievements and successes by pointing out the negatives or downplaying the news so the other person’s excitement is immediately deflated.

When someone is happy, a highly miserable person will point out all that could possibly go wrong in great detail.

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If you feel as though you have some or all the traits of a miserable person, now is the time to change so you can be a happier, cheerful and more successful person.

Articles to Change up Your Attitude

Featured photo credit: Fickr Miserable Soul – Mr.C90 via flickr.com

More by this author

Paula Lawes

Paula loves people and connecting. She writes about communication and relationships tips on Lifehack.

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Last Updated on July 21, 2021

How to Get “I Can’t Do It” Out of Your Vocabulary

How to Get “I Can’t Do It” Out of Your Vocabulary
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When someone says, “I can’t do it” . . . I say to myself, “What do you mean you can’t do it?” Maybe you don’t want to do it, but saying you “can’t” do it is a completely different story.

With the right mindset, positive attitude, and a clear vision of what you want to accomplish, the only thing that is holding you back is yourself.

Can’t is a terrible word and it has to be taken out of your vocabulary.

By saying you can’t do something, you’re already doubting yourself, submitting to defeat, and you’re making that barrier around your life tighter.

So today, right now, we are going to remove this word for good.

From now on there is nothing we can’t do.

“Attitude is Tattoo”

Your attitude is everything; it’s your reason, your why and how, your facial expression, emotions, body language, and potentially the end result. How you approach an opportunity, and the result of it, is solely based on you — not your boss or your co-worker or friend.

If you enter a business meeting with a sour attitude, that negative energy can spread like wildfire. People can also feel it — maybe even taste it. This is not an impression you want to leave.

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Now imagine you enter a business meeting with a positive attitude, that whatever happens in here is going to be your result, in your control, not someone else’s. Of course, we can’t always win, but even if the outcome is negative, your attitude and perception can turn it into a positive. The question is: can you do it?

Of course you can, because there is nothing in this world you can’t do.

It’s much better to be known for your positive attitude — your poise, your energy, the reason why things go so well because you are able to maintain such character. A negative attitude is easy. It’s easy to complain, it’s easy to be mad, and it’s even easier to do nothing to change it.

When I say your “attitude is tattoo”, it sounds permanent. Tattoos can be removed, but that’s not the point. Your attitude is like a tattoo because you wear it. People can see it and sometimes, they will judge you on it. If you maintain a negative attitude, then it is permanent until you change it.

Change your attitude and I guarantee the results change as well.

Believe You Can Do It

Do you know why most people say “can’t” and doubt themselves before trying anything?

It’s our lack of self-confidence and fear on many different levels. The one thing we have to purge from ourselves is fear — fear of bad results, fear of change, fear of denial, fear of loss, the fear that makes us worry and lose sleep. Worrying is the same as going outside with an umbrella, waiting for rain to hit it. Stop worrying and move on.

Confidence is fragile: It builds up slowly, but can shatter like glass. Project your confidence and energy into believing in yourself. This is a very important and groundbreaking step — one that is usually the hardest to take. Start telling yourself you can do something, anything, and you will do it the best to your ability. Remove doubt, remove fear, and stick with positive energy.

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Learn how to boost your confidence: How to Be Confident: 62 Proven Ways to Build Self-Confidence

Embrace Failure

Do not fear failure. Do not run away from it. Face it, learn from it, grow, and take action. Just remember: You will never know success if you have never failed.

Your confidence will bolster after embracing these facts. You will be immune to demoralizing results, and instead you will find ways to fix it, improve upon it, and make it better than before. You will learn to never say “can’t,” and will realize how many more opportunities you can create by removing that one word.

Don’t let one simple and ugly word plague your confidence. You’re better and stronger than that.

Start Making the Change

But to actually start the process of change is very challenging.

Why is that?

Fear? Time? Don’t know how — or where — to start?

It’s hard because what we’re doing is unlearning what we know. We are used to doing things a certain way, and chances are we’ve been doing them for years.

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So here are some ways that I avoid using the word “can’t”, and actually take the steps to put forth the change that I wish to see. I hope you can incorporate these methods into your life.

Write down What You Want to Change

Write it on post-its, notecards, whatever makes you comfortable — something you will always see. I usually write mine on post-its and put them all over the wall behind my monitor so I always see them.

Tell a Friend and Talk About It

Discussing your goals, what you want to change, is very effective when you say it out loud and tell another person other than yourself. It’s almost like saying, hey, I bet I can do it — watch me.

When you fulfill that goal and tell your friend, it feels rewarding and will motivate you to do it again in a different aspect. Who knows? Maybe your friend adopts the same mindset as you.

Stop Yourself from Saying the Forbidden Word

Sometimes,I can’t control myself in public when I’m with friends, so I have to be careful with the words I use so I don’t embarrass or insult anyone.

Treat the word “can’t” as the worst word you can possibly use. Stop yourself from saying it, mid-sentence if you must, and turn your whole perspective around — you can do it, you will do it, and nothing is impossible!

Repetition, Repetition, Repetition

You think this change will be overnight? No way. This is a practice. Something you’re going to be doing for the rest of your life from now until forever.

As I said earlier, you are unlearning what you know. You know how easy it is to say you can’t do something, so by unlearning this easy practice, you’re self-disciplining yourself to live without boundaries.

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Practice this everyday, a little at a time, and before you know it, the word can’t will not be part of your language.

Do Anything That Can Relieve Your Uncertainty

When I catch myself saying I can’t do something or I don’t know something, looking up information on that action or subject, doing research, educating yourself, relieves that uncertainty.

Sometimes, we think we can’t do something because the whole idea of it seems too large. We skip the small steps in our head and only focus on the end.

Before you say you can’t do something, rewind and slow down a little bit. Focus on what the first step is, then the next. Take it a step at a time, and before you know it you will have done something you previously thought you couldn’t do.

Final Thoughts

You know what you must do. The first step is right now. Once you begin this habit, and really start noticing some change, you’ll realize the door to opportunity is everywhere.

The funny thing is: Those doors have always been there. The evil word that we no longer use put a veil over our eyes because that’s how powerful that word is.

More Tips for Strengthening Your Resilience

Featured photo credit: Cata via unsplash.com

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