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15 Habits of Highly Miserable People

15 Habits of Highly Miserable People

The definition of a miserable person is wretchedly unhappy or uncomfortable. That is pretty spot on don’t you think? When a person is miserable they never see or expect the good in anything and always try to make those around them feel just as bad and negative as them. Being miserable is a way of life for some people because they get sympathy, constant reassurance from other miserable people and a sense of self, defined by whatever circumstance they find themselves in.

Unfortunately, highly miserable people are much more accepted in society as opposed to someone that is happy and upbeat all the time, who can be looked at as ‘weird’ or ‘strange’.

If you are tired of being miserable and want a happy existence on this planet, I’ve come up with a few habits of highly miserable people. If you can identify and change one around you’ll be well on your way to a good life again!

They are never thankful for anything

Being grateful and thankful for anything in a highly miserable person’s life is a big no! When a person shows gratitude they should do it from a point of view of happiness and are usually ten times more likely to be thankful for things they already have rather than the things they don’t. If you are a miserable person, you’ll avoid any expressions of gratitude at all costs because it goes against what you believe. You’ll think that counting your blessings is a waste of time and life will always be full of something to be ungrateful about.

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They lead a very unadventurous life

Highly miserable people lead a dull, boring and unadventurous life. They ensure that you have a mundane existence, with no fun, no possibility or excitement and then complain about it! When life is unadventurous and boring, they’ll start to believe that they are boring and project that upon other people. Life is predictable as far as a highly miserable person is concerned. TV is a big activity in this kind of life coupled with addiction and other mediocre activities such as reading tabloid papers and celebrity magazines, none of which stimulate or invigorate the body or mind.

They live in and glorify the past

We’ve all done it, said things like ‘it was so much better when I was a kid’ except highly miserable people tend to live their lives stuck in the past rather than remembering it fondly and moving on. They’ll talk about what has happened, what they have done and what it was like back then, saying that life has only gone downhill since. When a highly miserable people vilify the past, they refer to it as being born in the wrong place at the wrong time, or life when they were a kid was unhappy and they never got what they wanted.

They do things for personal gain

“All the happiness in the world stems from wanting others to be happy, and all the suffering in the world stems from wanting the self to be happy.” – Shantideva

Being self-centered and only doing things for personal gain is an extreme habit of a highly miserable person. Life is about having and gaining more and getting it no matter how they get it, even at the expense of others. They’ll surround themselves with like-minded people and even take on ‘professions’ that involve criminal activities. They’ll have no qualm about taking from others or acting as if they are doing good whereas their intentions are not so.

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They are afraid of economic loss

Fear is a good habit to have if you want to be a highly miserable person. Fear will keep miserable people from doing a job they absolutely hate; it will make them work long unbearable hours working for a company that doesn’t care about its employees. They’ll be greedy and stingy with money, generosity isn’t even in their vocabulary and if it is, there will be personal gain involved. They’ll become ill because of their money worries, probably depressed and lose friends/family as a result. If they could, they’d sit and worry all day long, thinking about what they could lose if they took a risk, left their job or tried something different.

They love to pick fights

Every now and again a highly miserable person will pick a fight out of the blue with someone close to them. They usually pick a fight about something absurd and completely unrelated to their current situation. Secondly, they’ll expect that person to respond with kindness and sympathy and if they don’t, they’ll be quick to point it out. If however the other party mentions it again, they’ll be sure to make it seem as if they don’t know what they are talking about and that they never intended for the situation to occur. They’ll quickly act to be hurt and be the victim, even though they started the fight.

They blame others and play the victim

Highly miserable people are brilliant at blaming their parents, because, after all, they were the ones who brought them to this world and shaped who they were. Typically, they’ll also blame the bully who bullied them as a kid, a teacher who didn’t like them or a friend who never wanted to do what they wanted to do. Blame is essential; it must never be forgotten and used almost every single day to ensure miserableness is continued.

They think people’s intentions towards them are always dishonorable

They’ll take any remark, comment or opinion the wrong way believing that whoever gave it is trying to insult, belittle or put them down. They believe that humiliation is at the forefront of most people’s intentions of which will make a highly miserable person distrustful, resentful and always on the defense. Miserable people expect the very worst from people and can’t imagine a person acting on good intentions.

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They will give themselves a negative identity and revel in it

To be highly miserable they must, without doubt, ensure that any perceived emotional problem absorbs their very core. For example, if they suffered from anxiety, depression, grief of some sort they’d make sure it defines them as a person.  They also have the habit of making sure everyone knows exactly what’s wrong with them. They make this the focus of their life, talking about it constantly, and bringing it up at every opportunity. The highly miserable people will ensure that they know about their ‘condition’ inside and out, reading up on it and knowing all the symptoms.

They will make sure they are involved in other people’s drama

They will be the center point of all the drama in their lives and others’. This will include family and community dramas, so that they can be the person that people will turn to, to share their miserableness with and to help carry the drama to new levels. Exaggerating situations and consoling others with their own sorry stories about how life has dealt them a cruel hand.

They always expect the worst

Life sucks and all the bad stuff happens to them, is the mantra of a miserable person. Optimism for the future is nonsense and being positive will only be done in vain. Their marriage probably won’t work out, their children are bad and don’t love them, their house will fall apart and their job is an unbearable chore. If a disaster is going to happen, it will most certainly happen to these people, and they definitely won’t be surprised.

They focus only on themselves

Highly miserable people focus on themselves, their needs and their problems, as nobody else’s issues or struggles are as bad as theirs. They will worry all the time about why they do things, why they behave in certain ways, while analyzing their flaws and chewing over their problems.

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They are critical of everything

Nothing is good enough, nothing works and nothing makes a highly miserable person happy. They will be critical of everything whether people agree with them or not. Miserable people will always voice their opinion before everyone else. They will criticize something that someone loves just to make sure their point is heard. They love to antagonize and truly believe they are always right while everyone else is always wrong.

They worry too much

Worry makes people miserable, so a highly miserable person will make sure to do plenty of that! They won’t listen to reasons and will be obsessed with situations and things they have no control over. Worrying feeds into their misery so it’s only natural that these types of people are worrisome by nature.

They are envious of other people’s success

Miserable people won’t outright say they are envious of other people’s successes, what they will do however, is to put down other people’s achievements and successes by pointing out the negatives or downplaying the news so the other person’s excitement is immediately deflated. When someone is happy, a highly miserable person will make sure to point out all that could possibly go wrong in great detail!

If you feel as though you have some or all the traits of a highly miserable person, now is the time to change some of these habits so you can be a happier, cheerful and more successful person.

Featured photo credit: Fickr Miserable Soul – Mr.C90 via flickr.com

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Last Updated on March 14, 2019

7 Questions to Ask in a Job Interview That Will Impress the Interviewer

7 Questions to Ask in a Job Interview That Will Impress the Interviewer

Recruiters might hold thousands of interviews in their careers and a lot of them are reporting the same thing—that most candidates play it safe with the questions they ask, or have no questions to ask in a job interview at all.

For job applicants, this approach is crazy! This is a job that you’re going to dedicate a lot of hours to and that might have a huge impact on your future career. Don’t throw away the chance to figure out if the position is perfect for you.

Here are 7 killer questions to ask in a job interview that will both impress your counterpart and give you some really useful insights into whether this job will be a dream … or a nightmare.

1. What are some challenges I might come up against this role?

A lesser candidate might ask, “what does a typical day look like in this role?” While this is a perfectly reasonable question to ask in an interview, focusing on potential challenges takes you much further because it indicates that you already are visualizing yourself in the role.

It’s impressive because it shows that you are not afraid of challenges, and you are prepared to strategize a game plan upfront to make sure you succeed if you get the job.

It can also open up a conversation about how you’ve solved problems in the past which can be a reassuring exercise for both you and the hiring manager.

How it helps you:

If you ask the interviewer to describe a typical day, you may get a vibrant picture of all the lovely things you’ll get to do in this job and all the lovely people you’ll get to do them with.

Asking about potential roadblocks means you hear the other side of the story—dysfunctional teams, internal politics, difficult clients, bootstrap budgets and so on. This can help you decide if you’re up for the challenge or whether, for the sake of your sanity, you should respectfully decline the job offer.

2. What are the qualities of really successful people in this role?

Employers don’t want to hire someone who goes through the motions; they want to hire someone who will excel.

Asking this question shows that you care about success, too. How could they not hire you with a dragon-slayer attitude like that?

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How it helps you:

Interviewers hire people who are great people to work with, but the definition of “great people” differs from person to person.

Does this company hire and promote people with a specific attitude, approach, worth ethic or communication style? Are the most successful people in this role strong extroverts who love to talk and socialize when you are studious and reserved? Does the company reward those who work insane hours when you’re happiest in a more relaxed environment?

If so, then this may not be the right match for you.

Whatever the answer is, you can decide whether you have what it takes for the manager to be happy with your performance in this role. And if the interviewer has no idea what success looks like for this position, this is a sign to proceed with extreme caution.

3. From the research I did on your company, I noticed the culture really supports XYZ. Can you tell me more about that element of the culture and how it impacts this job role?

Of course, you could just ask “what is the culture like here? ” but then you would miss a great opportunity to show that you’ve done your research!

Interviewers give BIG bonus point to those who read up and pay attention, and you’ve just pointed out that (a) you’re diligent in your research (b) you care about the company culture and (c) you’re committed to finding a great cultural fit.

How it helps you:

This question is so useful because it lets you pick an element of the culture that you really care about and that will have the most impact on whether you are happy with the organization.

For example, if training and development is important to you, then you need to know what’s on offer so you don’t end up in a dead-end job with no learning opportunities.

Companies often talk a good talk, and their press releases may be full of shiny CSR initiatives and all the headline-grabbing diversity programs they’re putting in place. This is your opportunity to look under the hood and see if the company lives its values on the ground.

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A company that says it is committed to doing the right thing by customers should not judge success by the number of up-sells an employee makes, for instance. Look for consistency, so you aren’t in for a culture shock after you start.

4. What is the promotion path for this role, and how would my performance on that path be measured?

To be clear, you are not asking when you will get promoted. Don’t go there—it’s presumptuous, and it indicates that you think you are better than the role you have applied for.

A career-minded candidate, on the other hand, usually has a plan that she’s working towards. This question shows you have a great drive toward growth and advancement and an intention to stick with the company beyond your current state.

How it helps you:

One word: hierarchy.

All organizations have levels of work and authority—executives, upper managers, line managers, the workforce, and so on. Understanding the hierarchical structure gives you power, because you can decide if you can work within it and are capable of climbing through its ranks, or whether it will be endlessly frustrating to you.

In a traditional pyramid hierarchy, for example, the people at the bottom tend to have very little autonomy to make decisions. This gets better as you rise up through the pyramid, but even middle managers have little power to create policy; they are more concerned with enforcing the rules the top leaders make.

If having a high degree of autonomy and accountability is important to you, you may do better in a flat hierarchy where work teams can design their own way of achieving the corporate goals.

5. What’s the most important thing the successful candidate could accomplish in their first 3 months/6 months/year?

Of all the questions to ask in a job interview, this one is impressive because it shows that you identify with and want to be a successful performer, and not just an average one.

Here, you’re drilling down into what the company needs, and needs quite urgently, proving that you’re all about adding value to the organization and not just about what’s in it for you.

How it helps you:

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Most job descriptions come with 8, 10 or 12 different job responsibilities and a lot of them with be boilerplate or responsibilities that someone in HR thinks are associated with this role. This question gives you a better sense of which responsibilities are the most important—and they may not be what initially attracted you to the role.

If you like the idea of training juniors, for example, but success is judged purely on your sales figures, then is this really the job you thought you were applying for?

This question will also give you an idea of what kind of learning curve you’re expected to have and whether you’ll get any ramp-up time before getting down to business. If you’re the type of person who likes to jump right in and get things done, for instance, you may not be thrilled to hear that you’re going to spend the first three months shadowing a peer.

6. What do you like about working here?

This simple question is all about building rapport with the interviewer. People like to talk about themselves, and the interviewer will be flattered that you’re interested in her opinions.

Hopefully, you’ll find some great connection points that the two of you share. What similar things drive you head into the office each day? How will you fit into the culture?

How it helps you:

You can learn a lot from this question. Someone who genuinely enjoys his job will be able to list several things they like, and their answers will sound passionate and sincere. If not….well, you might consider that a red flag.

Since you potentially can learn a lot about the company culture from this question, it’s a good idea to figure out upfront what’s important to you. Maybe you’re looking for a hands-off boss who values independent thought and creativity? Maybe you work better in environments that move at a rapid, exciting pace?

Whatever’s important to you, listen carefully and see if you can find any common ground.

7. Based on this interview, do you have any questions or concerns about my qualifications for the role?

What a great closing question to ask in a job interview! It shows that you’re not afraid of feedback—in fact, you are inviting it. Not being able to take criticism is a red flag for employers, who need to know that you’ll act on any “coaching moments” with a good heart.

As a bonus, asking this question shows that you are really interested in the position and wish to clear up anything that may be holding the company back from hiring you.

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How it helps you:

What a devious beast this question is! On the surface, it looks straightforward, but it’s actually giving you four key pieces of information.

First, is the manager capable of giving you feedback when put on the spot like this? Some managers are scared of giving feedback, or don’t think it’s important enough to bother outside of a formal performance appraisal. Do you want to work for a boss like that? How will you improve if no one is telling you what you did wrong?

Second, can the manager give feedback in a constructive way without being too pillowy or too confrontational? It’s unfair to expect the interviewer to have figured out your preferred way of receiving feedback in the space of an interview, but if she come back with a machine-gun fire of shortcomings or one of those corporate feedback “sandwiches” (the doozy slipped between two slices of compliment), then you need to ask yourself, can you work with someone who gives feedback like that?

Third, you get to learn the things the hiring manager is concerned about before you leave the interview. This gives you the chance to make a final, tailored sales pitch so you can convince the interviewer that she should not be worried about those things.

Fourth, you get to learn the things the hiring manager is concerned about period. If turnover is keeping him up at night, then your frequent job hopping might get a lot of additional scrutiny. If he’s facing some issues with conflict or communication, then he might raise concerns regarding your performance in this area.

Listen carefully: the concerns that are being raised about you might actually be a proxy for problems in the wider organization.

Making Your Interview Work for You

Interviews are a two-way street. While it is important to differentiate yourself from every other candidate, understand that convincing the interviewer you’re the right person for the role goes hand-in-hand with figuring out if the job is the right fit for you.

Would you feel happy in a work environment where the people, priorities, culture and management style were completely at odds with the way you work? Didn’t think so!

More Resources About Job Interviews

Featured photo credit: Amy Hirschi via unsplash.com

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