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15 Great Things You Know If You Have An Older Sister

15 Great Things You Know If You Have An Older Sister

Sometimes she annoys you. Sometimes she is overprotective. But for nothing in this world would you give her away. An older sister is precious and people who have an older sister know following15 great things.

1. She is your personal life adviser

Whenever things get tough, you can always turn to your older sister for a glass of something strong and a heart-to-heart. From your first boyfriend to how to pay taxes, your older sister often seems like an infinitely wise guru who you can turn to when you don’t know what to do.

2. You’re used to being second in command during play time

When it came to playtime, your older sister was always in control of the games. She played the parent and you played the child, or she played the teacher and you played the student.

Basically she was completely in charge, but it was totally worth it, because she came up with the best games.

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3. Your older sister made the decisions

Now you’re a grown adult, and you probably make all of your own choices, but it wasn’t always this way. As a child you were always the assistant to your older sister’s pranks and food experiments – and it was awesome. Leading on to…

4. Your older sister was always responsible

Even when you did join your sister in one of her zany food experiments, you didn’t have to worry about getting in too much trouble. After all, she was the older one – she should have known better than sweet, naive you. Older sisters all around the world, we thank you.

5. You know the pain of sharing a bedroom

Most people with older sisters understand the struggles of sharing a room with one. The lack of room, the mess, no privacy. But it’s all worth it for the times the two of you stayed up late giggling while your parents thought you were sleeping.

6. She knows how crazy your family is

Everyone’s family is a little crazy, but there aren’t many people with whom you can have a good moan about them. You might have the right to call your dad irrational, but none of your friends do. The only person who can really relate to the madness of your family is your older sister, so vent as much as you want.

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7. She is always honest with you

If you’re wearing anything that doesn’t suit you, the first person to let you know is your older sister. Sometimes it hurts at the time, but you’re eternally grateful to have someone totally honest in your life. She has your best interests at heart – which is why she told you to never wear light-up trainers again.

8. She made school easier for you

Starting high school is a daunting experience for even the bravest people, but having an older sister really helps to soften the blow. Before you started, she gave you the low down on the teachers you would have, and where to get lunch. More importantly, you spent years hearing “Is so-and-so your older sister?”, helping you to make friends and seem (slightly) cooler.

9. She prepared your parents for you

Late nights, drinking, smoking, bad grades, bringing around your first partner – she did it all first. So if/when you had to go through the same stuff, it didn’t even faze your parents. Throwing up in the toilet after your first heavy night drinking? Pssh, it’s fine, your sister threw up in the bathtub when she did it.

10. You always have someone to borrow from

Whether you need clothes for a night out, money for rent or food so you don’t starve, your older sister will help you out in this area. She is more reliable than a friend and less judgmental than a parent, making her the perfect person to borrow from. Respect the rules, though, and return anything you borrow to avoid a (possibly painful) sibling fight.

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11. Someone always has your back

Even though your sister can be honest to a slightly painful point, she always has your back. She might insult you, but if your boss/partner/best friend insults you, they will have to deal with the wrath of your sister.

12. She is someone you aspire to be

As a child, you aspired to be as cool as your older sister – and she taught you everything you knew, from making mud pies to teaching you how to style your hair. As an adult you still admire her strength, personality and kindness – you’ve just figured out your own style.

13. What’s hers is yours

Whether it was toys, clothes, make-up or a car, you always had someone else’s stuff to uses. She gave you lifts before you could drive, and lends you clothes for nights out. With an older sister, you basically have double the stuff… although she may not see it that way.

14. She toughened you up

Every time she stole the remote, confessed your crimes to your parents or fought with you over your favorite toy, she was toughening you up for being an adult. At the time you probably felt like you hated her, but she helped shape who you are as a person.

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15. She is the best friend you ever had

No matter what, your sister has always had your back in times of need. No one quite compares to an older sister. You have been friends for as long as you can remember. From being eight to eighty, she will always be there for you.

Featured photo credit: chelsea chen via flickr.com

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Amy Johnson

Amy is a writer who blogs about relationships and lifestyle advice.

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Last Updated on August 19, 2019

How to Be True to Yourself and Live the Life You Want

How to Be True to Yourself and Live the Life You Want

We live in a world that constantly tells us what to do, how to act, what to be. Knowing how to be true to yourself and live the life you want can be a challenge.

When someone asks how we are, we assume that the person does not mean the question sincerely, for it would lead to an in depth conversation. So telling them that you are good or fine, even if you’re not, is the usual answer.

In an ideal world, we would stop and truly listen. We wouldn’t be afraid to be ourselves. Instead, when we answer about how we are doing, our mask, the persona we show the world, tightens. Sometimes even more so than it might have been before. Eventually, it becomes hard to take off, even when you’re alone.

Imagine a world where we asked how someone was doing and they really told us. Imagine a world where there were no masks, only transparency when we talked to one another.

If you want to live in a world that celebrates who you are, mistakes and all, take off the mask. It doesn’t mean you have to be positive or fine all the time.

According to a Danish psychologist, Svend Brinkman, we expect each other to be happy and fine every second, and we expect it of ourselves. And that “has a dark side.”[1] Positive psychology can have its perks but not at the expense at hiding how you truly feel in order to remain seemingly positive to others.

No one can feel positive all the time and yet, that is what our culture teaches us to embrace. We have to unlearn this. That said, telling others you are ‘“fine”’ all the time is actually detrimental to your wellbeing, because it stops you from being assertive, from being authentic or your truest self.

When you acknowledge a feeling, it leads you to the problem that’s causing that feeling; and once you identify the problem, you can find a solution to it. When you hide that feeling, you stuff it way down so no one can help you.You can’t even help yourself.

Feelings are there for one reason: to be felt. That doesn’t mean you have to act on that feeling. It just means that you start the process of problem solving so you can live the life you want.

1. Embrace Your Vulnerability

When you are your true self, you can better self-advocate or stand up for what you need. Your self-expression matters, and you should value your voice. It’s okay to need things, it’s okay to speak up, and it’s okay not to be okay.

Telling someone you are simply “fine” when you are not, does your story and your journey a great disservice. Being true to yourself entails embracing all aspects of your existence.

When you bring your whole self to the table, there is nothing that you can’t beat. Here’re 7 benefits of being vulnerable you should learn.

Can you take off the mask? This is the toughest thing anyone can do. We have learned to wait until we are safe before we start to be authentic.

In relationships especially, this can be hard. Some people avoid vulnerability at any cost. And in our relationship with ourselves, we can look in the mirror and immediately put on the mask.

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It all starts with your story. You have been on your own unique journey. That journey has led you here, to the person you are today. You have to be unafraid, and embrace all aspects of that journey.

You should seek to thrive, not just survive. That means you do not have to compete or compare yourself with anyone.

Authenticity means you are enough. It’s enough to be who you are to get what you want.

What if for the first time ever, you were real? What if you said what you wanted to say, did what you wanted to do, and didn’t apologize for it?

You were assertive, forthcoming in your opinions or actions to stand for what is right for you, (rather than being passive or aggressive) in doing so. You didn’t let things get to you. You knew you had something special to offer.

That’s where we all should be.

So, answer me this:

How are you, really?

And know that no matter the answer, you should still be accepted.

Bravery is in the understanding that you still may not be accepted for your truth.

Bravery is knowing you matter even when others say that you do not.

Bravery is believing in yourself when all evidence counters doing so (i.e. past failures or losses)

Bravery is in being vulnerable while knowing vulnerability is a sign of strength.

It’s taking control.

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2. Choose Your Attitude in Adversity

You can take control of your destiny and live the life you want by being true to yourself. You can start anytime. You can start today.

You can start with one day at a time, just facing what happens that day. Most of us get overwhelmed when faced with the prospect of a big change. Even if the only thing we change is our attitude.

In one instant, you can become a different person with a change of attitude. When you take control of your attitude, you become able to better understand what is around you. This allows you to move forward.

Originally, you may have had a life plan. It could have started when you were little; you were hoping to become a mermaid, doctor, astronaut or all three when you grew up. You were hoping to be someone. You were hoping to be remembered.

You can still dream those dreams, but eventually reality sets in. Obstacles and struggles arise. You set on a different path when the last one didn’t work out. You think of all the “shoulds” in your life in living the life you want. You should be doing this…should be doing that…

Clayton Barbeau, psychologist, coined the term “shoulding yourself.’[2] When we are set on one path and find ourselves doing something different. It becomes all the things you should be doing rather than seeing the opportunities right in front of you.

But in all this disarray, did you lose sight of the real you?

It may be in our perceived failures and blunders that we lose sight of who we are, because we try to maintain position and status.

In being who we really are and achieving what we really want, we need to be resilient: How to Build Resilience to Face What Life Throws at You

It means that we do not see all possibilities of what might happen, but must trust ourselves to begin again, and continue to build the life we want. In the face of adversity, you must choose your attitude.

Can attitude overcome adversity? It certainly helps. While seeking to be true to yourself and live the life you want, you will have to face a fact:

Change will happen.

Whether that change is good or bad is unique to each person and their perspective.

You might have to start over, once, twice, a few times. It doesn’t mean that everything will be okay, but that you will be okay. What remains or should remain is the true you. When you’ve lost sight of that, you’ve lost sight of everything.

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And then, you rebuild. Moment after moment, day after day. We all have a choice, and in this moment, that matters.

You can choose to have a positive attitude, seeing the silver lining in each situation and, where there is none, the potential for one. Maybe that silver lining is you and what you will do with the situation. How will you use it for something good?

That’s how you can tap into yourself and your power. Sometimes it happens by accident, sometimes on purpose. It can happen when we aren’t even looking for it, or it can be your only focus. Everyone gets there differently.

You can rise, or you can remain. Your choice.

When the worst happens, you can rely on your authenticity to pull you through. That’s because Self Advocacy, speaking up to let others know what you need, is part of finding the real you.

There is nothing wrong with asking for help. Or sometimes, helping others can help us deal with the pain of a hurtful situation. You decide how you’re going to help others, and suddenly, you become your best self.

3. Do What Makes You Happy When No One’s Looking

Being the best version of you has nothing to do with your success or your status. It has everything to do with your Character, what you do when no one’s looking.

In order to create the life you want, you have to be the person you want to be. Faking it till you make it is just a way to white knuckle it through your journey. You have the fire inside of you to make things right, to put the pieces together, to live authentically. And Character is how you get there.

If you fall down and you help another up while you’re down there, it’s like you rise twice.

Along with attitude, your character is about the choices you make rather than what happens to you.

Yes, it’s about doing the right thing even when obstacles seem insurmountable.  It’s about using that mountain you’ve been given to show others it can be moved.  It’s about being unapologetically you, taking control, choosing your attitude in adversity and being the best version of you to create the life you want.

How do you know what you really want? Is it truly status or success?

Unfortunately, these things do not always bring happiness. And aspects of our image or “performance driven existence” may not achieve satisfaction. Materialism is part of our refusal to accept ourselves as enough. All the things we use to repress our true selves are about being enough.

“Enoughness” is what we truly seek, but ego gets in the way.

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Ego is the perception of self as outer worth. It’s not REAL self worth.

Ego represses our true self with a new self— the self of chasing ‘“Am I ever enough?”’ questions. And instead of filling our true selves with self-love and acceptance, when we “should ourselves” and chase “enoughness,” we feed the ego or our image.

It’s important to realize YOU ARE ENOUGH, without all the material trappings.

Stanford psychologist Meagan O’Reilly describes the damage of not thinking we are enough. One of her tactics for combating this is to complete the sentence,[3]

“If I believed I were already enough, I’d ____”

What would you do if you felt you were enough?

By believing you are enough, you can live the life you want.

So many fake it to try to get there, and they end up losing themselves when they lose more and more touch with their Authenticity.

Final Thoughts

By being yourself, you are being brave. By acknowledging all you can be, you tell the universe that you can until you believe it too. The steps are easy, and you are worth it. All of it is about the purpose you are leading and the passion that is your fuel.

Being true to yourself is all about mastering how to live life authentically rather than faking or forcing it. Having the life you want (and deserve) is about being trusting in yourself and the purpose you are living for. Both need passion behind it, fueling it each second, or you will experience burn out.

When you are authentic, you can call the road you walk your own. When you live your life for you and not just the results of all your actions (faking it till you make it), you can let go of what you don’t need. This clarifies and pushes purpose to you, living for something that is greater than you.

You will find that making decisions based on what will actually achieve your goals, will help you attain the life you want, and your success with each step, will allow you to enjoy the process. Good luck!

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Featured photo credit: Ariana Prestes via unsplash.com

Reference

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