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15 Great Things You Know If You Have An Older Sister

15 Great Things You Know If You Have An Older Sister

Sometimes she annoys you. Sometimes she is overprotective. But for nothing in this world would you give her away. An older sister is precious and people who have an older sister know following15 great things.

1. She is your personal life adviser

Whenever things get tough, you can always turn to your older sister for a glass of something strong and a heart-to-heart. From your first boyfriend to how to pay taxes, your older sister often seems like an infinitely wise guru who you can turn to when you don’t know what to do.

2. You’re used to being second in command during play time

When it came to playtime, your older sister was always in control of the games. She played the parent and you played the child, or she played the teacher and you played the student.

Basically she was completely in charge, but it was totally worth it, because she came up with the best games.

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3. Your older sister made the decisions

Now you’re a grown adult, and you probably make all of your own choices, but it wasn’t always this way. As a child you were always the assistant to your older sister’s pranks and food experiments – and it was awesome. Leading on to…

4. Your older sister was always responsible

Even when you did join your sister in one of her zany food experiments, you didn’t have to worry about getting in too much trouble. After all, she was the older one – she should have known better than sweet, naive you. Older sisters all around the world, we thank you.

5. You know the pain of sharing a bedroom

Most people with older sisters understand the struggles of sharing a room with one. The lack of room, the mess, no privacy. But it’s all worth it for the times the two of you stayed up late giggling while your parents thought you were sleeping.

6. She knows how crazy your family is

Everyone’s family is a little crazy, but there aren’t many people with whom you can have a good moan about them. You might have the right to call your dad irrational, but none of your friends do. The only person who can really relate to the madness of your family is your older sister, so vent as much as you want.

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7. She is always honest with you

If you’re wearing anything that doesn’t suit you, the first person to let you know is your older sister. Sometimes it hurts at the time, but you’re eternally grateful to have someone totally honest in your life. She has your best interests at heart – which is why she told you to never wear light-up trainers again.

8. She made school easier for you

Starting high school is a daunting experience for even the bravest people, but having an older sister really helps to soften the blow. Before you started, she gave you the low down on the teachers you would have, and where to get lunch. More importantly, you spent years hearing “Is so-and-so your older sister?”, helping you to make friends and seem (slightly) cooler.

9. She prepared your parents for you

Late nights, drinking, smoking, bad grades, bringing around your first partner – she did it all first. So if/when you had to go through the same stuff, it didn’t even faze your parents. Throwing up in the toilet after your first heavy night drinking? Pssh, it’s fine, your sister threw up in the bathtub when she did it.

10. You always have someone to borrow from

Whether you need clothes for a night out, money for rent or food so you don’t starve, your older sister will help you out in this area. She is more reliable than a friend and less judgmental than a parent, making her the perfect person to borrow from. Respect the rules, though, and return anything you borrow to avoid a (possibly painful) sibling fight.

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11. Someone always has your back

Even though your sister can be honest to a slightly painful point, she always has your back. She might insult you, but if your boss/partner/best friend insults you, they will have to deal with the wrath of your sister.

12. She is someone you aspire to be

As a child, you aspired to be as cool as your older sister – and she taught you everything you knew, from making mud pies to teaching you how to style your hair. As an adult you still admire her strength, personality and kindness – you’ve just figured out your own style.

13. What’s hers is yours

Whether it was toys, clothes, make-up or a car, you always had someone else’s stuff to uses. She gave you lifts before you could drive, and lends you clothes for nights out. With an older sister, you basically have double the stuff… although she may not see it that way.

14. She toughened you up

Every time she stole the remote, confessed your crimes to your parents or fought with you over your favorite toy, she was toughening you up for being an adult. At the time you probably felt like you hated her, but she helped shape who you are as a person.

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15. She is the best friend you ever had

No matter what, your sister has always had your back in times of need. No one quite compares to an older sister. You have been friends for as long as you can remember. From being eight to eighty, she will always be there for you.

Featured photo credit: chelsea chen via flickr.com

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Amy Johnson

Amy is a writer who blogs about relationships and lifestyle advice.

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Last Updated on July 8, 2020

How to Say No When You Say Yes Too Often

How to Say No When You Say Yes Too Often

Do you say yes so often that you realize you aren’t really happy about this, wondering how to say no to people?

For years, I was a serial people pleaser. Known as someone who would step up, I would gladly make time especially when it came to volunteering for certain causes. I proudly carried this role all through grade school, college, even through law school. For years, I thought saying “no” meant I would disappoint a good friend or someone I respected.

But somewhere along the way, I noticed I wasn’t quite living my life. Instead, I seem to have created a schedule that was a strange combination of meeting the expectations of others, what I thought I should be doing, and some of what I actually wanted to do. The result? I had a packed schedule that left me overwhelmed and unfulfilled.

It took a long while but I learned the art of saying no. Saying ‘no’ meant I no longer catered fully to everyone else’s needs and could make more room for what I really wanted to do. Instead of cramming too much in, I chose to pursue what really mattered. I started to manage my time more around my own needs and interests. When that happened, I became a lot happier. And guess what? I hardly disappointed anyone.

The Importance of Saying No

When you learn the art of saying ‘no,’ you begin to look at the world differently. Rather than seeing all of the things you could or should be doing (and aren’t doing), you start to look at how to say yes to what’s important.

In other words, you aren’t just reacting to what life throws at you. You seek the opportunities that move you to where you want to be.

Successful people aren’t afraid to say no. Oprah Winfrey considered one of the most successful women in the world confessed that it was much later in life when she learned how to say no. Even after she had become internationally famous, she felt she had to say yes to virtually everything. It was only when she realized that after years of struggling with saying no, I finally got to this question: “What do I want?”

Being able to say no also helps you manage your time better.

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Warren Buffett views no as essential to his success. He said,

“The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything.”

When I made ‘no’ a part of my toolbox, I drove more of my own success focusing on fewer things and doing them well.

How We Are Pressured to Say Yes

It’s no wonder a lot of us find it hard to say ‘no.’

From an early age, we are conditioned to say ‘yes.’ We said yes probably hundreds of time in order to graduate from high school and then get into college. We said yes to find work. We said yes get a promotion. We said yes to find love and then yes again to stay in a relationship. We said yes to find and keep friends.

We say yes because it feels better to help someone. We say yes because it can seem like the right thing to do. We say yes because we think that is key to success. And we say yes because the request might come from someone who is hard to resist like the boss.

And that’s not all. The pressure to say yes doesn’t just come from others. We put a lot of pressure on ourselves. At work, we say yes because we compare ourselves to others who seem to be doing more than we are. Outside of work, we say yes because we feel guilty we aren’t doing enough to spend time with family or friends.

The message no matter where we turn is nearly always, “You really could be doing more.” The result? When people ask us for our time, we are heavily conditioned to say yes.

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How to Say No Without Feeling Guilty

Deciding to add the word ‘no’ to your toolbox is no small thing. Perhaps you already say ‘no’ but not as much as you would like. Maybe you have an instinct that if you were to learn the art of ‘no’ that you could finally create more time for things you care about. But let’s be honest, using the word ‘no’ doesn’t come easily for many people.

The 3 Rules of Thumbs for Saying No

1. You Need to Get Out of Your Comfort Zone

Let’s face it. It is hard to say no. Setting boundaries around your time especially you haven’t done it much in the past will feel awkward.

2. You Are the Air Traffic Controller of Your Time

Remember that you are the only one who understands the demands for your time. Think about it, who else knows about all of the demands on your time? No one. Only you are at the center of all of these requests. are the only one that understands what time you really have.

3. Saying ‘No’ Means Saying ‘Yes’ to Something That Matters

When we decide not to do something, it means we can say yes to something else. You have a unique opportunity to decide how you spend your precious time.

6 Ways to Start Saying No

Incorporating that little word ‘no’ into your life can be transformational. Turning some things down will mean you can open doors to what really matters. Here are some essential tips to learn the art of no:

1. Check in With Your Obligation Meter

One of the biggest challenges to saying ‘no’ is a feeling of obligation. Do you feel you have a responsibility to say yes and worry that saying no reflect poorly on you?

Ask yourself whether you truly have the duty to say yes. Check your assumptions or beliefs about whether you carry the responsibility to say yes. Turn it around and instead ask what duty you owe to yourself.

2. Resist the Fear of Missing out (FOMO)

Do you have a fear of missing out (FOMO)? FOMO can follow us around in so many ways. At work, we volunteer our time because we fear we won’t move ahead. In our personal lives, we agree to join the crowd because FOMO even while we ourselves aren’t enjoying the fun.

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Check in with yourself. Are you saying yes because of FOMO or because you really want to say yes? More often than not, running after fear doesn’t make us feel better.

3. Check Your Assumptions About What It Means to Say ‘No’

Do you dread the reaction you will get if you say no? Often, we say ‘yes’ because we worry about how others will respond or the consequences of saying no or because of the consequences. We may be afraid to disappoint others or think we will lose respect from others. We often forget how much we are disappointing ourselves along the way.

Keep in mind that saying ‘no’ can be exactly what is needed to send the right message that you have limited time. In the tips below, you will see how to communicate your no in a gentle and loving way. You might disappoint someone initially but drawing a boundary can bring you the freedom you need so that you can give freely of yourself when you truly want to.

4. When the Request Comes In, Sit on It

Sometimes, when we are in the moment, we instinctively agree. The request might make sense at first. Or we typically have said yes to this request in the past.

Give yourself a little time to reflect on whether you really have the time, or can do the task properly. You may decide the best option is to say ‘no.’ There is no harm in giving yourself the time to decide.

5. Communicate Your ‘No’ with Transparency and Kindness

When you are ready to tell someone no, communicate your decision clearly. The message can be open and honest to ensure the recipient that your reasons have to do with your limited time.

Resist the temptation not to respond or communicate all. But do not feel obligated to provide a lengthy account about why you are saying no.

A clear communication with a short explanation is all that is needed. I have found it useful to tell people that I have many demands and need to be careful with how I allocate my time. I will sometimes say I really appreciate that they came to me and for them to check in again if the opportunity arises another time.

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6. Consider How to Use a Modified ‘No’

If you are under pressure to say yes but want to say no, you may want to consider downgrading a “yes” to a “yes but…” giving you an opportunity to condition your agreement to what works best for you.

Sometimes, the condition can be to do the task but not in the time frame that was originally requested. Or perhaps you can do part of what has been asked.

Final Thoughts

Beginning right now, you can change how you respond to requests for your time. When the request comes in, take yourself off autopilot where you might normally say yes.

Use the request as a fresh request to draw a healthy boundary around your time. Pay particular attention to when you place certain demands on yourself. If you are the one placing the demand on yourself, try to evaluate the demand as if it were coming from somewhere else.

Try it now. Say no to a friend who continues to take advantage of your goodwill. Or, draw the line with a workaholic colleague and tell them you will complete the project but not by working all weekend. Or, tell someone in your family you can’t loan them money again because they never paid you back the last time. You’ll find yourself much happier.

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Featured photo credit: Chris Ainsworth via unsplash.com

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