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14 Things People Who Feel Comfortable With Themselves Do Differently

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14 Things People Who Feel Comfortable With Themselves Do Differently

It`s the ultimate dream to feel truly comfortable with oneself; to do, say and believe exactly what you like without bitterness and without worrying about what others may say.

To feel fully comfortable with yourself is a long road that requires not only tens of hours of working on yourself but also knowing exactly what you should do.

In this article you will learn about what self confident people do differently, and how they feel comfortable with themselves.

Read till the end, know what you need to do, share it when you like it (and I`m sure you will) and don`t forget the most important thing – do it.

1. They are only nice to the nice

“The persons whom you cannot care for in a novel, because they are so bad, are the very same that you so dearly love in your life, because they are so good.’

– Anthony Trollope

I can tell you be kind, be good to others and always see what is good in people, but that`s NOT how life goes on everytime you do so.

Many people lie, some people cheat, others steal, kill, stab in the back, make fun of you or make your life misery,

On the other hand, there will be those who love you, those who really want to help you and those who will always support you and believe in you.

To feel truly comfortable with yourself you must know who deserves your support, love, kindness and respect and who deserves your neglect, hate or punishment.

Behind everyone a story or need, read people well, know what they want and what moves them, don`t let anybody put you down or make you feel bad about yourself, and for those who bring the best out of you; show them your love, your kindness, trust and unconditional support.

Always be nice, but keep an eye on people. That`s how confident people do.They have a brain, and they do the thinking.

2. They are not attention seekers

Craving for attention is a sign of insecurity, it simply means someone either didn`t get the proper attention in his/her childhood or got a plenty of it during that time to the extent that always being the center of attention has become an addiction to him or her.

Those who are comfortable with their themselves do seek attention – like any other human being – but they are not dying for it.

They don`t talk too much to impress every single person around, they don`t fake a lie to grab attention, they don`t act a -know it all – and they don`t always buy the newest or the most expensive gadget just to get people to talk about them.

3. They are bold

“Freedom lies in being bold.”

– Robert Frost

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This is who a I am, this is what I believe in and as long as I`m convinced with what I do, I don`t have to change it for the sake of you.

This is how confident people feel.

4. They are not afraid to lead

You have to admit it, leadership is scary.

Nobody wants to be the center of everybody`s attention, nobody wants to be judged and since most people think low of themselves and their capabilities then everybody will tend to avoid leadership so that they don`t get exposed.

Only those who are confident in their own skin, believe in their skills and believe in their plan who will have the courage and ambition to lead when nobody else will.

“Courage is rightly esteemed the first of human qualities; because it is the quality which guarantees all others.”

– Winston Churchill

5. They believe they are wanted

Everything starts with a belief even if it was a fake one.

There are clues for almost every belief that you want to put into your mind this includes the belief of being liked/wanted or believing you are an outcast…. In both cases; what you believe will turn to be true, and this is what confident people believe in.

Having interest in your own self, not over judging, not beating yourself up for a mistaken behavior and gathering clues for being wanted is what you need to build up a high level of self confidence.

It`s the corner stone you need to have before looking for people to get interested in you. Just start changing the way you look at yourself. The more worthy you see yourself, the more worthy others will see you.

6. They ask.

“If you don`t ask, the answer is always NO.”

– Nora Roberts

Those who believe in themselves do whatever they can do to get what they want and where they want and a BIG part of this process is having the courage to ask for what they believe they deserve.

Confident people are less sensitive towards rejection because they know it`s inevitable and that it`s better for them to accept and deal with rejection rather than sitting there and do nothing but wishing.

“You cannot avoid rejection, but you can always try to have a better chance.”

That`s what they believe in.

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7. They don`t beg.

“You will never gain anyone’s approval by begging for it. When you stand confident in your own worth, respect follows.”

– Mandy Hale

When there`s a will there`s a way, so why beg?

Confident people don`t beg, neither for love nor money…. Nothing.

There`s always another solution, and there`s always someone else to love.

Money will make you happy, love will make you happy and so respect and self satisfaction.

As long as you believe in your own skills, and that there`s always a way around then never tear your dignity apart. You may be happy at the moment, but the bitterness will always last.

8. They lie less

“Some lie to deceive, some lie to achieve while others lie so people don`t think less of them.”

I`m not going to talk about the first two types; I`m leaving it to your own morality, But if you want to feel comfortable with yourself then DON`T fear telling the truth about yourself, your identity and your mistakes.

The more you lie so people can like you, the less you will like yourself…. Confident people don`t do that.

9. They are not afraid of competition

The more your skills develop, the more confident you become and the more advanced you like your game to be and that`s how those who are comfortable with themselves deal with competition.

The more thrilling the competition, the better the victory will taste.

Don`t let fear get into your own heart, you are just competing with humans.

10. They keep their promises

“You lose a lot when you don`t keep a promise.”

– Author Unknown

In life you may lose a thing, you may lose someone but your greatest loss is when you lose your own self trust and not keeping up with your promises is the shortest way to do that.

When you don`t keep up with your promises you simply let weakness take advantage of you and it will take you double the energy and more promises to keep before you start believing in yourself again.

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For those who are confident in their own skin a promise is not a word they give, a promise is a commitment that affects their self esteem and how they respect themselves.

For the confident; it`s either you have the courage to say NO, or have enough self respect to keep your words.

Once they say “I will”, it`s done.

11. They are not afraid to smile

The easiest people to read are those who put that angry “Don`t touch me” face on their heads.

Those who are comfortable with themselves are not afraid of what people may say about them.

They believe in their own skills and they are overconfident with the idea that they are liked which helps them act calmly and induce a comfortable atmosphere around themselves, thus getting more fans and admirers.

Always know this;

Your smile is your charm. Your confident, amazing smile will bring you more friends, more fans and more money.

People who fear to smile or act comfortably around others do so because they fear that other people won`t take them seriously or think they are too kind or too stupid.

If you are sure about your skills, if you know when, where and to whom you should give your charm and if you trained yourself to put a confident, sexy smile on your face and be willing to show it more often then I guarantee your life and your level of confidence will be sky high.

Your smile is precious, just try it out.

12. They have tolerance to different opinions

Only the insecure who are not sure of his thoughts and beliefs will always fail to have a proper conversation with anyone who shares different beliefs.

And only those who are comfortable with themselves respect themselves and respect their minds to the level that makes them change their beliefs if they are strongly convinced.

Truely confident people may hate what you do or don`t like what you say but they will always believe that their rights to say and do what they like stems from your right to say and do what you like, as long as you don`t offend or hurt somebody for sure.

13. They are assertive 

They know their own rights and they guard them at all costs.

They have the right to be treated fairly and with respect, they have the right to do, speak, dress what they want and they know how to set the proper boundaries that define those rights in the eyes of other people.

Remember:

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“What you allow is what will continue.”

– Anonymous

14. They can look you in the eye

People simply don’t make eye contact anymore.
– Eric Kripke

Once you feel comfortable with yourself you will confidentially communicate with any person you want.

A big sign of someone who is comfortable with his or her own self is the ability to maintain a good eye contact.

The more confident someone in himself (or the less he has to hide) the less likely he will avoid eye contact.

Most of the time, he or she will not see him/herself as a recipient who is waiting for other people to judge, instead he sees himself as the one others want to attract or the one who is trying to figure out who are those he is talking to.

Now it’s your turn

You have read, you have recognized and now is the time to start working things out,

You probably didn`t pick this article unless you really want to feel more comfortable with yourself and around people and you will probably bookmark so that you can read again later, but later mostly never comes.

So, here`s a deal:

I want you (after you share this article) to pick up a single trait from the 14 traits listed above (just one) and to work on it for the next 30 days.

I want you to think of it, to live it, dream it and take action towards it, I want you to imagine your life with a new skill that you deeply need and to start working on it until you see results.

And once you get there, you`re gonna be …. you know that song of Drake, yes UNSTOPPABLE.

Go for it and give it a try, it`s only one life to live, and you don`t want to live it with misery and sadness.

Enjoy your day

Featured photo credit: Alessandro Baffa via flickr.com

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Last Updated on November 18, 2021

10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

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10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

We all fall into the trap of judging a person’s character by their appearance. How wrong we are! All too often, the real character of the person only appears when some negative event hits them or you. Then you may see a toxic person emerging from the ruins and it is often a shock.

A truly frightening example is revealed in the book by O’Toole in Bowman called Dangerous Instincts: How Gut Instincts Betray Us. A perfectly respectable, charming, well dressed neighbor was found to have installed a torture chamber in his garage where he was systematically abusing kidnapped women. This is an extreme example, but it does show how we can be totally deceived by a person’s physical appearance, manners and behavior.

So, what can you do? You want to be able to assess personal qualities when you come into contact with colleagues, fresh acquaintances and new friends who might even become lifelong partners. You want to know if they are:

  • honest
  • reliable
  • competent
  • kind and compassionate
  • capable of taking the blame
  • able to persevere
  • modest and humble
  • pacific and can control anger.

The secret is to reserve judgment and take your time. Observe them in certain situations; look at how they react. Listen to them talking, joking, laughing, explaining, complaining, blaming, praising, ranting, and preaching. Only then will you be able to judge their character. This is not foolproof, but if you follow the 10 ways below, you have a pretty good chance of not ending up in an abusive relationship.

1. Is anger a frequent occurrence?

All too often, angry reactions which may seem to be excessive are a sign that there are underlying issues. Do not think that every person who just snaps and throws his/her weight around mentally and physically is just reacting normally. Everyone has an occasional angry outburst when driving or when things go pear-shaped.

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But if this is almost a daily occurrence, then you need to discover why and maybe avoid that person. Too often, anger will escalate to violent and aggressive behavior. You do not want to be near someone who thinks violence can solve personal or global problems.

2. Can you witness acts of kindness?

How often do you see this person being kind and considerate? Do they give money to beggars, donate to charity, do voluntary work or in some simple way show that they are willing to share the planet with about 7 billion other people?

I was shocked when a guest of mine never showed any kindness to the weak and disadvantaged people in our town. She was ostensibly a religious person, but I began to doubt the sincerity of her beliefs.

“The best index to a person’s character is how he treats people who can’t do him any good, and how he treats people who can’t fight back.”

Abigail Van Buren

3. How does this person take the blame?

Maybe you know that s/he is responsible for a screw-up in the office or even in not turning up on time for a date. Look at their reaction. If they start blaming other colleagues or the traffic, well, this is an indication that they are not willing to take responsibility for their mistakes.

4. Don’t use Facebook as an indicator.

You will be relieved to know that graphology (the study of that forgotten skill of handwriting) is no longer considered a reliable test of a person’s character. Neither is Facebook stalking, fortunately. A study showed that Facebook use of foul language, sexual innuendo and gossip were not reliable indicators of a candidate’s character or future performance in the workplace.

5. Read their emails.

Now a much better idea is to read the person’s emails. Studies show that the use of the following can indicate certain personality traits:

  • Too many exclamation points may reveal a sunny disposition
  • Frequent errors may indicate apathy
  • Use of smileys is the only way a person can smile at you
  • Use of the third person may reveal a certain formality
  • Too many question marks can show anger
  • Overuse of capital letters is regarded as shouting. They are a definite no-no in netiquette, yet a surprising number of  people still use them.

6. Watch out for the show offs.

Listen to people as they talk. How often do they mention their achievements, promotions, awards and successes? If this happens a lot, it is a sure indication that this person has an over-inflated view of his/her achievements. They are unlikely to be modest or show humility. What a pity!  Another person to avoid.

7. Look for evidence of perseverance.

A powerful indicator of grit and tenacity is when a person persists and never gives up when they really want to achieve a life goal. Look for evidence of them keeping going in spite of enormous difficulties.

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Great achievements by scientists and inventors all bear the hallmark of perseverance. We only have to think of Einstein, Edison (who failed thousands of times) and Nelson Mandela to get inspiration. The US Department of Education is in no doubt about how grit, tenacity and perseverance will be key success factors for youth in the 21st century.

8. Their empathy score is high.

Listen to how they talk about the less fortunate members of our society such as the poor, immigrants and the disabled. Do you notice that they talk in a compassionate way about these people? The fact that they even mention them is a strong indicator of empathy.

People with zero empathy will never talk about the disadvantaged. They will rarely ask you a question about a difficult time or relationship. They will usually steer the conversation back to themselves. These people have zero empathy and in extreme cases, they are psychopaths who never show any feelings towards their victims.

9. Learn how to be socially interactive.

We are social animals and this is what makes us so uniquely human. If a person is isolated or a loner, this may be a negative indicator of their character. You want to meet a person who knows about trust, honesty and loyalty. The only way to practice these great qualities is to actually interact socially. The great advantage is that you can share problems and celebrate success and joy together.

“One can acquire everything in solitude, except character.”

Stendhal

 10. Avoid toxic people.

These people are trying to control others and often are failing to come to terms with their own failures. Typical behavior and conversations may concern:

  • Envy or jealousy
  • Criticism of partners, colleagues and friends
  • Complaining about their own lack of success
  • Blaming others for their own bad luck or failure
  • Obsession with themselves and their problems

Listen to these people talk and you will quickly discover that you need to avoid them at all costs because their negativity will drag you down. In addition, as much as you would like to help them, you are not qualified to do so.

Now, having looked at some of the best ways to judge a person, what about yourself? How do others see you? Why not take Dr. Phil’s quiz and find out. Can you bear it?

Featured photo credit: Jacek Dylag via unsplash.com

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