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14 Things People Who Feel Comfortable With Themselves Do Differently

14 Things People Who Feel Comfortable With Themselves Do Differently

It`s the ultimate dream to feel truly comfortable with oneself; to do, say and believe exactly what you like without bitterness and without worrying about what others may say.

To feel fully comfortable with yourself is a long road that requires not only tens of hours of working on yourself but also knowing exactly what you should do.

In this article you will learn about what self confident people do differently, and how they feel comfortable with themselves.

Read till the end, know what you need to do, share it when you like it (and I`m sure you will) and don`t forget the most important thing – do it.

1. They are only nice to the nice

“The persons whom you cannot care for in a novel, because they are so bad, are the very same that you so dearly love in your life, because they are so good.’

– Anthony Trollope

I can tell you be kind, be good to others and always see what is good in people, but that`s NOT how life goes on everytime you do so.

Many people lie, some people cheat, others steal, kill, stab in the back, make fun of you or make your life misery,

On the other hand, there will be those who love you, those who really want to help you and those who will always support you and believe in you.

To feel truly comfortable with yourself you must know who deserves your support, love, kindness and respect and who deserves your neglect, hate or punishment.

Behind everyone a story or need, read people well, know what they want and what moves them, don`t let anybody put you down or make you feel bad about yourself, and for those who bring the best out of you; show them your love, your kindness, trust and unconditional support.

Always be nice, but keep an eye on people. That`s how confident people do.They have a brain, and they do the thinking.

2. They are not attention seekers

Craving for attention is a sign of insecurity, it simply means someone either didn`t get the proper attention in his/her childhood or got a plenty of it during that time to the extent that always being the center of attention has become an addiction to him or her.

Those who are comfortable with their themselves do seek attention – like any other human being – but they are not dying for it.

They don`t talk too much to impress every single person around, they don`t fake a lie to grab attention, they don`t act a -know it all – and they don`t always buy the newest or the most expensive gadget just to get people to talk about them.

3. They are bold

“Freedom lies in being bold.”

– Robert Frost

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This is who a I am, this is what I believe in and as long as I`m convinced with what I do, I don`t have to change it for the sake of you.

This is how confident people feel.

4. They are not afraid to lead

You have to admit it, leadership is scary.

Nobody wants to be the center of everybody`s attention, nobody wants to be judged and since most people think low of themselves and their capabilities then everybody will tend to avoid leadership so that they don`t get exposed.

Only those who are confident in their own skin, believe in their skills and believe in their plan who will have the courage and ambition to lead when nobody else will.

“Courage is rightly esteemed the first of human qualities; because it is the quality which guarantees all others.”

– Winston Churchill

5. They believe they are wanted

Everything starts with a belief even if it was a fake one.

There are clues for almost every belief that you want to put into your mind this includes the belief of being liked/wanted or believing you are an outcast…. In both cases; what you believe will turn to be true, and this is what confident people believe in.

Having interest in your own self, not over judging, not beating yourself up for a mistaken behavior and gathering clues for being wanted is what you need to build up a high level of self confidence.

It`s the corner stone you need to have before looking for people to get interested in you. Just start changing the way you look at yourself. The more worthy you see yourself, the more worthy others will see you.

6. They ask.

“If you don`t ask, the answer is always NO.”

– Nora Roberts

Those who believe in themselves do whatever they can do to get what they want and where they want and a BIG part of this process is having the courage to ask for what they believe they deserve.

Confident people are less sensitive towards rejection because they know it`s inevitable and that it`s better for them to accept and deal with rejection rather than sitting there and do nothing but wishing.

“You cannot avoid rejection, but you can always try to have a better chance.”

That`s what they believe in.

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7. They don`t beg.

“You will never gain anyone’s approval by begging for it. When you stand confident in your own worth, respect follows.”

– Mandy Hale

When there`s a will there`s a way, so why beg?

Confident people don`t beg, neither for love nor money…. Nothing.

There`s always another solution, and there`s always someone else to love.

Money will make you happy, love will make you happy and so respect and self satisfaction.

As long as you believe in your own skills, and that there`s always a way around then never tear your dignity apart. You may be happy at the moment, but the bitterness will always last.

8. They lie less

“Some lie to deceive, some lie to achieve while others lie so people don`t think less of them.”

I`m not going to talk about the first two types; I`m leaving it to your own morality, But if you want to feel comfortable with yourself then DON`T fear telling the truth about yourself, your identity and your mistakes.

The more you lie so people can like you, the less you will like yourself…. Confident people don`t do that.

9. They are not afraid of competition

The more your skills develop, the more confident you become and the more advanced you like your game to be and that`s how those who are comfortable with themselves deal with competition.

The more thrilling the competition, the better the victory will taste.

Don`t let fear get into your own heart, you are just competing with humans.

10. They keep their promises

“You lose a lot when you don`t keep a promise.”

– Author Unknown

In life you may lose a thing, you may lose someone but your greatest loss is when you lose your own self trust and not keeping up with your promises is the shortest way to do that.

When you don`t keep up with your promises you simply let weakness take advantage of you and it will take you double the energy and more promises to keep before you start believing in yourself again.

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For those who are confident in their own skin a promise is not a word they give, a promise is a commitment that affects their self esteem and how they respect themselves.

For the confident; it`s either you have the courage to say NO, or have enough self respect to keep your words.

Once they say “I will”, it`s done.

11. They are not afraid to smile

The easiest people to read are those who put that angry “Don`t touch me” face on their heads.

Those who are comfortable with themselves are not afraid of what people may say about them.

They believe in their own skills and they are overconfident with the idea that they are liked which helps them act calmly and induce a comfortable atmosphere around themselves, thus getting more fans and admirers.

Always know this;

Your smile is your charm. Your confident, amazing smile will bring you more friends, more fans and more money.

People who fear to smile or act comfortably around others do so because they fear that other people won`t take them seriously or think they are too kind or too stupid.

If you are sure about your skills, if you know when, where and to whom you should give your charm and if you trained yourself to put a confident, sexy smile on your face and be willing to show it more often then I guarantee your life and your level of confidence will be sky high.

Your smile is precious, just try it out.

12. They have tolerance to different opinions

Only the insecure who are not sure of his thoughts and beliefs will always fail to have a proper conversation with anyone who shares different beliefs.

And only those who are comfortable with themselves respect themselves and respect their minds to the level that makes them change their beliefs if they are strongly convinced.

Truely confident people may hate what you do or don`t like what you say but they will always believe that their rights to say and do what they like stems from your right to say and do what you like, as long as you don`t offend or hurt somebody for sure.

13. They are assertive 

They know their own rights and they guard them at all costs.

They have the right to be treated fairly and with respect, they have the right to do, speak, dress what they want and they know how to set the proper boundaries that define those rights in the eyes of other people.

Remember:

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“What you allow is what will continue.”

– Anonymous

14. They can look you in the eye

People simply don’t make eye contact anymore.
– Eric Kripke

Once you feel comfortable with yourself you will confidentially communicate with any person you want.

A big sign of someone who is comfortable with his or her own self is the ability to maintain a good eye contact.

The more confident someone in himself (or the less he has to hide) the less likely he will avoid eye contact.

Most of the time, he or she will not see him/herself as a recipient who is waiting for other people to judge, instead he sees himself as the one others want to attract or the one who is trying to figure out who are those he is talking to.

Now it’s your turn

You have read, you have recognized and now is the time to start working things out,

You probably didn`t pick this article unless you really want to feel more comfortable with yourself and around people and you will probably bookmark so that you can read again later, but later mostly never comes.

So, here`s a deal:

I want you (after you share this article) to pick up a single trait from the 14 traits listed above (just one) and to work on it for the next 30 days.

I want you to think of it, to live it, dream it and take action towards it, I want you to imagine your life with a new skill that you deeply need and to start working on it until you see results.

And once you get there, you`re gonna be …. you know that song of Drake, yes UNSTOPPABLE.

Go for it and give it a try, it`s only one life to live, and you don`t want to live it with misery and sadness.

Enjoy your day

Featured photo credit: Alessandro Baffa via flickr.com

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The Gentle Art of Saying No

The Gentle Art of Saying No

No!

It’s a simple fact that you can never be productive if you take on too many commitments — you simply spread yourself too thin and will not be able to get anything done, at least not well or on time.

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But requests for your time are coming in all the time — through phone, email, IM or in person. To stay productive, and minimize stress, you have to learn the Gentle Art of Saying No — an art that many people have problems with.

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What’s so hard about saying no? Well, to start with, it can hurt, anger or disappoint the person you’re saying “no” to, and that’s not usually a fun task. Second, if you hope to work with that person in the future, you’ll want to continue to have a good relationship with that person, and saying “no” in the wrong way can jeopardize that.

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But it doesn’t have to be difficult or hard on your relationship. Here are the Top 10 tips for learning the Gentle Art of Saying No:

  1. Value your time. Know your commitments, and how valuable your precious time is. Then, when someone asks you to dedicate some of your time to a new commitment, you’ll know that you simply cannot do it. And tell them that: “I just can’t right now … my plate is overloaded as it is.”
  2. Know your priorities. Even if you do have some extra time (which for many of us is rare), is this new commitment really the way you want to spend that time? For myself, I know that more commitments means less time with my wife and kids, who are more important to me than anything.
  3. Practice saying no. Practice makes perfect. Saying “no” as often as you can is a great way to get better at it and more comfortable with saying the word. And sometimes, repeating the word is the only way to get a message through to extremely persistent people. When they keep insisting, just keep saying no. Eventually, they’ll get the message.
  4. Don’t apologize. A common way to start out is “I’m sorry but …” as people think that it sounds more polite. While politeness is important, apologizing just makes it sound weaker. You need to be firm, and unapologetic about guarding your time.
  5. Stop being nice. Again, it’s important to be polite, but being nice by saying yes all the time only hurts you. When you make it easy for people to grab your time (or money), they will continue to do it. But if you erect a wall, they will look for easier targets. Show them that your time is well guarded by being firm and turning down as many requests (that are not on your top priority list) as possible.
  6. Say no to your boss. Sometimes we feel that we have to say yes to our boss — they’re our boss, right? And if we say “no” then we look like we can’t handle the work — at least, that’s the common reasoning. But in fact, it’s the opposite — explain to your boss that by taking on too many commitments, you are weakening your productivity and jeopardizing your existing commitments. If your boss insists that you take on the project, go over your project or task list and ask him/her to re-prioritize, explaining that there’s only so much you can take on at one time.
  7. Pre-empting. It’s often much easier to pre-empt requests than to say “no” to them after the request has been made. If you know that requests are likely to be made, perhaps in a meeting, just say to everyone as soon as you come into the meeting, “Look guys, just to let you know, my week is booked full with some urgent projects and I won’t be able to take on any new requests.”
  8. Get back to you. Instead of providing an answer then and there, it’s often better to tell the person you’ll give their request some thought and get back to them. This will allow you to give it some consideration, and check your commitments and priorities. Then, if you can’t take on the request, simply tell them: “After giving this some thought, and checking my commitments, I won’t be able to accommodate the request at this time.” At least you gave it some consideration.
  9. Maybe later. If this is an option that you’d like to keep open, instead of just shutting the door on the person, it’s often better to just say, “This sounds like an interesting opportunity, but I just don’t have the time at the moment. Perhaps you could check back with me in [give a time frame].” Next time, when they check back with you, you might have some free time on your hands.
  10. It’s not you, it’s me. This classic dating rejection can work in other situations. Don’t be insincere about it, though. Often the person or project is a good one, but it’s just not right for you, at least not at this time. Simply say so — you can compliment the idea, the project, the person, the organization … but say that it’s not the right fit, or it’s not what you’re looking for at this time. Only say this if it’s true — people can sense insincerity.

Featured photo credit: Pexels via pexels.com

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