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14 Things People Who Feel Comfortable With Themselves Do Differently

14 Things People Who Feel Comfortable With Themselves Do Differently

It`s the ultimate dream to feel truly comfortable with oneself; to do, say and believe exactly what you like without bitterness and without worrying about what others may say.

To feel fully comfortable with yourself is a long road that requires not only tens of hours of working on yourself but also knowing exactly what you should do.

In this article you will learn about what self confident people do differently, and how they feel comfortable with themselves.

Read till the end, know what you need to do, share it when you like it (and I`m sure you will) and don`t forget the most important thing – do it.

1. They are only nice to the nice

“The persons whom you cannot care for in a novel, because they are so bad, are the very same that you so dearly love in your life, because they are so good.’

– Anthony Trollope

I can tell you be kind, be good to others and always see what is good in people, but that`s NOT how life goes on everytime you do so.

Many people lie, some people cheat, others steal, kill, stab in the back, make fun of you or make your life misery,

On the other hand, there will be those who love you, those who really want to help you and those who will always support you and believe in you.

To feel truly comfortable with yourself you must know who deserves your support, love, kindness and respect and who deserves your neglect, hate or punishment.

Behind everyone a story or need, read people well, know what they want and what moves them, don`t let anybody put you down or make you feel bad about yourself, and for those who bring the best out of you; show them your love, your kindness, trust and unconditional support.

Always be nice, but keep an eye on people. That`s how confident people do.They have a brain, and they do the thinking.

2. They are not attention seekers

Craving for attention is a sign of insecurity, it simply means someone either didn`t get the proper attention in his/her childhood or got a plenty of it during that time to the extent that always being the center of attention has become an addiction to him or her.

Those who are comfortable with their themselves do seek attention – like any other human being – but they are not dying for it.

They don`t talk too much to impress every single person around, they don`t fake a lie to grab attention, they don`t act a -know it all – and they don`t always buy the newest or the most expensive gadget just to get people to talk about them.

3. They are bold

“Freedom lies in being bold.”

– Robert Frost

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This is who a I am, this is what I believe in and as long as I`m convinced with what I do, I don`t have to change it for the sake of you.

This is how confident people feel.

4. They are not afraid to lead

You have to admit it, leadership is scary.

Nobody wants to be the center of everybody`s attention, nobody wants to be judged and since most people think low of themselves and their capabilities then everybody will tend to avoid leadership so that they don`t get exposed.

Only those who are confident in their own skin, believe in their skills and believe in their plan who will have the courage and ambition to lead when nobody else will.

“Courage is rightly esteemed the first of human qualities; because it is the quality which guarantees all others.”

– Winston Churchill

5. They believe they are wanted

Everything starts with a belief even if it was a fake one.

There are clues for almost every belief that you want to put into your mind this includes the belief of being liked/wanted or believing you are an outcast…. In both cases; what you believe will turn to be true, and this is what confident people believe in.

Having interest in your own self, not over judging, not beating yourself up for a mistaken behavior and gathering clues for being wanted is what you need to build up a high level of self confidence.

It`s the corner stone you need to have before looking for people to get interested in you. Just start changing the way you look at yourself. The more worthy you see yourself, the more worthy others will see you.

6. They ask.

“If you don`t ask, the answer is always NO.”

– Nora Roberts

Those who believe in themselves do whatever they can do to get what they want and where they want and a BIG part of this process is having the courage to ask for what they believe they deserve.

Confident people are less sensitive towards rejection because they know it`s inevitable and that it`s better for them to accept and deal with rejection rather than sitting there and do nothing but wishing.

“You cannot avoid rejection, but you can always try to have a better chance.”

That`s what they believe in.

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7. They don`t beg.

“You will never gain anyone’s approval by begging for it. When you stand confident in your own worth, respect follows.”

– Mandy Hale

When there`s a will there`s a way, so why beg?

Confident people don`t beg, neither for love nor money…. Nothing.

There`s always another solution, and there`s always someone else to love.

Money will make you happy, love will make you happy and so respect and self satisfaction.

As long as you believe in your own skills, and that there`s always a way around then never tear your dignity apart. You may be happy at the moment, but the bitterness will always last.

8. They lie less

“Some lie to deceive, some lie to achieve while others lie so people don`t think less of them.”

I`m not going to talk about the first two types; I`m leaving it to your own morality, But if you want to feel comfortable with yourself then DON`T fear telling the truth about yourself, your identity and your mistakes.

The more you lie so people can like you, the less you will like yourself…. Confident people don`t do that.

9. They are not afraid of competition

The more your skills develop, the more confident you become and the more advanced you like your game to be and that`s how those who are comfortable with themselves deal with competition.

The more thrilling the competition, the better the victory will taste.

Don`t let fear get into your own heart, you are just competing with humans.

10. They keep their promises

“You lose a lot when you don`t keep a promise.”

– Author Unknown

In life you may lose a thing, you may lose someone but your greatest loss is when you lose your own self trust and not keeping up with your promises is the shortest way to do that.

When you don`t keep up with your promises you simply let weakness take advantage of you and it will take you double the energy and more promises to keep before you start believing in yourself again.

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For those who are confident in their own skin a promise is not a word they give, a promise is a commitment that affects their self esteem and how they respect themselves.

For the confident; it`s either you have the courage to say NO, or have enough self respect to keep your words.

Once they say “I will”, it`s done.

11. They are not afraid to smile

The easiest people to read are those who put that angry “Don`t touch me” face on their heads.

Those who are comfortable with themselves are not afraid of what people may say about them.

They believe in their own skills and they are overconfident with the idea that they are liked which helps them act calmly and induce a comfortable atmosphere around themselves, thus getting more fans and admirers.

Always know this;

Your smile is your charm. Your confident, amazing smile will bring you more friends, more fans and more money.

People who fear to smile or act comfortably around others do so because they fear that other people won`t take them seriously or think they are too kind or too stupid.

If you are sure about your skills, if you know when, where and to whom you should give your charm and if you trained yourself to put a confident, sexy smile on your face and be willing to show it more often then I guarantee your life and your level of confidence will be sky high.

Your smile is precious, just try it out.

12. They have tolerance to different opinions

Only the insecure who are not sure of his thoughts and beliefs will always fail to have a proper conversation with anyone who shares different beliefs.

And only those who are comfortable with themselves respect themselves and respect their minds to the level that makes them change their beliefs if they are strongly convinced.

Truely confident people may hate what you do or don`t like what you say but they will always believe that their rights to say and do what they like stems from your right to say and do what you like, as long as you don`t offend or hurt somebody for sure.

13. They are assertive 

They know their own rights and they guard them at all costs.

They have the right to be treated fairly and with respect, they have the right to do, speak, dress what they want and they know how to set the proper boundaries that define those rights in the eyes of other people.

Remember:

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“What you allow is what will continue.”

– Anonymous

14. They can look you in the eye

People simply don’t make eye contact anymore.
– Eric Kripke

Once you feel comfortable with yourself you will confidentially communicate with any person you want.

A big sign of someone who is comfortable with his or her own self is the ability to maintain a good eye contact.

The more confident someone in himself (or the less he has to hide) the less likely he will avoid eye contact.

Most of the time, he or she will not see him/herself as a recipient who is waiting for other people to judge, instead he sees himself as the one others want to attract or the one who is trying to figure out who are those he is talking to.

Now it’s your turn

You have read, you have recognized and now is the time to start working things out,

You probably didn`t pick this article unless you really want to feel more comfortable with yourself and around people and you will probably bookmark so that you can read again later, but later mostly never comes.

So, here`s a deal:

I want you (after you share this article) to pick up a single trait from the 14 traits listed above (just one) and to work on it for the next 30 days.

I want you to think of it, to live it, dream it and take action towards it, I want you to imagine your life with a new skill that you deeply need and to start working on it until you see results.

And once you get there, you`re gonna be …. you know that song of Drake, yes UNSTOPPABLE.

Go for it and give it a try, it`s only one life to live, and you don`t want to live it with misery and sadness.

Enjoy your day

Featured photo credit: Alessandro Baffa via flickr.com

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Last Updated on April 11, 2019

How to Improve Communication Skills for Workplace Success

How to Improve Communication Skills for Workplace Success

Possessing strong communication skills will help you in every phase of your life. This is especially true in the workplace.

I have personally worked with several leaders who were masters of communication. A few were wonderful speakers who could tell a great story and get everyone in the room engaged. Those of us in attendance would walk away feeling inspired and eager to help with what came next. Others were very skilled at sharing a clear direction and job expectations.

I knew exactly what was expected of me and how to achieve my goals. This was the foundation of an energized and vibrant role I was in. What I have found is strong communication skills are incredibly helpful and sometimes critical in how well we perform at work.

Here we will take a look at how to improve communication skills for workplace success.

How Communication Skills Help Your Success

Strong communication skills pave the way for success in many ways. Let’s look at a few of the big ones.

Create a Positive Experience

Here are two examples of how well developed communication skills helps create a positive experience:

When I first moved to the city I now live in, I began a job search. Prior to my first live interview, I was told an address to go to. Upon arriving at the address provided, I drove around and around attempting to find the location. After 15 minutes of circling and looking for the address, I finally grabbed a parking spot and set out on foot.

What I discovered was the address was actually down an alley and only had the number over the door. No sign for the actual company. The person that gave me those very unclear directions provided a bad experience for me.

Had they communicated the directions to get there in a clear manner, my experience would have been much better. Instead the entire experience started off poorly and colored the entire meeting.

As a recruiter, I frequently provide potential candidates with information about a job I’m speaking to them about. In order to do this, I also provide a picture of the overall company, the group they might be joining, and how their role fits in and impacts the entire company.

Time and time again I have been told by candidates that I have provided the clearest picture of a company and role they have ever heard. They have a positive experience when I clearly communicate to them. Even when the position does not work out for them, often times they will want to stay in touch with me due to the open communication and beneficial experience they had during the interviewing process.

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Strong communication skills will provide a positive experience in virtually any interaction you have with someone.

Help Leadership Skills

It’s certainly a skill all its own to be able to lead others.

Being a mentor and guiding others towards success is a major hallmark of great leaders. Another characteristic of effective leaders is the ability to communicate clearly.

As I referenced above, having a leader who can plainly articulate the company’s mission and direction goes a really long way towards being the Captain of the boat that others want to follow. It’s like saying “here’s our destination and this is how we are going to get there” in a way that everyone can get on board with.

Another critical component of everyone helping to sail the boat in the right direction is knowing what your portion is all about. How are you helping the boat move towards its destination in the manner than is consistent with the leaders’ vision?

If you have a boss or a manager that can show you what it takes for not only you to be successful, but also how your performance helps the company’s success then you’ve got a winner. A boss with superior communication skills.

Build Better Teams

Most of us work in teams of some sort or another. During the course of my career, I have led teams up to 80 and also been an individual contributor.

In my individual contributor roles, I have been part of a larger team. Even if you are in business for yourself, you have to interact with others in one manner or another.

If you have strong communication skills, it helps to build better teams. This is true whether you are in an IT department with 100 other fellow programmers or if you own your own business and have customers or vendors you communicate with.

When you showcase your robust ability to communicate well with others while interacting with them, you are building a better team.

Now let’s jump in to how to improve communication skills to help you pave the way for your workplace success.

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How to Improve Communication Skills for Workplace Success

There are many tips, tricks, and techniques to improve communication skills. I don’t want to overwhelm you with too much information, so let’s focus on the things that will provide the biggest return on your time investment.

Most of these tips will be fairly easy to become aware of but will take time and effort to implement. So let’s go!

1. Listen

Ever heard the saying you have two ears and one mouth for a reason? If you haven’t, then here’s the reason:

Being a good listener is half the equation to being a good communicator.

People who have the ability to really listen to someone can then actually answer questions in a meaningful way. If you don’t make the effort to actively listen, then you are really doing yourself and the other person a disservice in the communication department.

Know that person who is chomping at the bit to open his or her mouth the second you stop talking? Don’t be that person. They haven’t listened to at least 1/2 of what you’ve said. Therefore the words that spill out of their mouth are going to be about 1/2 relevant to what you just said.

Listen to someone completely and be comfortable with short periods of silence. Work on your listening skills first and foremost.

2. Know Your Audience

Knowing your audience is another critical component to having strong communication skills. The way you interact with your manager should be different than how you interact with your kids. This isn’t to say you need to be a different person with everyone you interact with. Far from it.

Here is a good way to think about it:

Imagine using your the same choice of words and body language you use with your spouse while interacting with your boss. That puts things in a graphic light!

You want to ensure you are using the type of communication most relevant to your audience.

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3. Minimize

I have lunch with a business associate about 3 times a year. We’ve been talking for several years now about putting a business deal together.

He is one of those people that simply overwhelms others with a lot of words. Sometimes when I ask him a question, I get buried beneath such an avalanche of words that I’m more confused than when I asked the question. Needless to say this is most likely a large portion of why we never put the deal together.

Don’t be like my lunch business associate. The goal of talking to or communicating with someone is to share actual information. The goal is not to confuse someone, it’s to provide clarity in many cases.

State what needs to be stated as succinctly as possible. That doesn’t mean you can’t have some pleasant conversation about the weather too.

The point is to not create such an onslaught of words and information that the other person walks away more confused than when they started.

4. Over Communicate

So this probably sounds completely counter intuitive to what I just wrote about minimizing your communication. It seems like it might be but it’s not.

What I mean by over communicating is ensuring that the other person understands the important parts of what you are sharing with them. This can be done simply yet effectively. Here’s a good example:

Most companies have open enrollment for benefits for the employees in the fall. The company I work for has open enrollment from November 1 to 15. The benefits department will send out a communication to all employees around October 1st, letting them know open enrollment is right around the corner and any major changes that year. There’s also a phone number and email for people to contact them with any questions.

Two weeks later, we all get a follow up email with basically the same information. We get a 3rd communication the week before open enrollment and another one 1 day before it starts.

Finally we get 2 emails during enrollment reminding us when open enrollment ends.

There’s minimal information, it’s more of a reminder. This is effective over communication.

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5. Body Language

The final critical component to how to improve communication skills for workplace success is body language. This is something most of us have heard about before but, a reminder is probably a good idea.

When I am in a meeting with someone I am comfortable with, I tend to kind of slouch down in my chair and cross my arms. When I catch myself doing this, I sit up straight and uncross my arms. I remember that crossing arms can many times be interpreted as a sign of disagreement or conflict.

In general, the best rule of thumb is to work towards having open body language whenever possible at work. This means relaxing your posture, not crossing your arms, and looking people in the eye when speaking with them.

When you are speaking in front of others, stand up straight and speak in a clear voice. This will convey confidence in your words.

Conclusion

Possessing strong communication skills will help you in many facets of your life and most certainly in the workplace.

Good communication helps create better teams, positive experiences with those we interact with, and are critical for leadership.

There are numerous tactics and techniques to be used to improve communication skills. Here we’ve reviewed how to improve communication skills for workplace success.

Now go communicate your way to success.

More Resources About Effective Communication

Featured photo credit: HIVAN ARVIZU via unsplash.com

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