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14 Things Dads Teach Their Daughters About the Boyfriends They Deserve

14 Things Dads Teach Their Daughters About the Boyfriends They Deserve

As a father, do you have the qualities your daughter deserves to see in her boyfriend? Even better, her future husband? I always ask myself this question to see how l can improve as a father, and teach my daughter who deserves to be her boyfriend.

You might have heard, “be the change you want to see” but are you truly working to be the change you want to see?

Here are some great things a daughter can learn from her father about the boyfriend she deserves.

Heck yes, even the husband she deserves to marry.

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1. She deserves a boyfriend who will treat her with respect.

She is an equal partner in the relationship and deserves to be treated as such. A father always treats his daughter with respect, so why not her boyfriend? Ladies, if your boyfriend does not treat you with respect, he does not deserve to be your man!

2. She deserves a boyfriend who believes in her.

Every woman deserves a boyfriend who will never give up on her and her dreams. Each one of us has dreams, goals we have set for ourselves. As a father myself, one of my dreams is to work from home. My daughter’s dreams might not be same as mine, but l will do all l can to help her achieve her dreams. She needs a partner who will do the same.

3. She deserves a boyfriend who is confident in her abilities and will value her opinion.

Sometimes, all it takes is for a father to sit down with his daughter and discuss a problem she is facing. By doing this together, she will appreciate her father believing in her abilities to have a great conversation. A great example is how a father can teach his daughter how to make her own opinions and not just accept any opinion someone throws at her. Two heads are better than one!

4. She deserves a boyfriend she can trust.

If a daughter cannot trust her father, neither will benefit from the relationship. Therefore a daughter who knows she can trust her father will expect her boyfriend to be trustworthy. If a daughter does not trust her father, it is very likely she will have a difficult time trusting her boyfriend.

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5. She deserves a boyfriend who loves kids, and plays with them.

You can love kids, but what happens if you do not know how to play with them? Loving kids is not enough; fathers need to also learn how to interact with their kids. By watching her father show affection towards herself and other kids by playing with them, a daughter can be certain a boyfriend with these qualities has the potential to be a great father in the future.

6. She deserves a boyfriend who will be honest with her, and critique her constructively.

There will be times when our daughters will make bad choices. It is during these moments that a father needs to be bold enough to tell her the truth, even if it’s not what she may want to hear. This will help her stay on track with her goals, and also help her make better decisions in the future.

7. She deserves a boyfriend who is smart, intelligent and hardworking.

A father should teach his daughter how to work hard and smart by being an example. She can learn that a man should not only work hard, but work smart.

8. She deserves a boyfriend who will admit when he is wrong.

As a father, there have been times when l have been wrong. Even though admitting being wrong is simple, sometimes l find it difficult to do. But as l have matured as a person, l am now quick to admit my mistakes. A daughter knowing her father can accept his mistakes and admit he is wrong means she can be be sincere and honest with her father when he is wrong. This is another great trait to look for in a boyfriend.

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9. She deserves a boyfriend who will treasure and protect her with all he’s got.

Your father will do everything he can to protect you from harmful things that come your way. It is because he treasures you like no other. So why not choose a boyfriend who will do the same? If you are not a treasure to him, he will treat you like he treats his other stuff. You should have a special place in his life, just as you have a special place in your father’s life.

10. She deserves a boyfriend who will listen to her.

A father listens to the concerns of his daughter; he wants her to know he is there for her. Your boyfriend should be able to listen and properly communicate with you. In today’s world of social media and business, our attention span is so short that we do not listen attentively. Finding a boyfriend who is a great listener is like hitting a home run.

11. She deserves a boyfriend who knows how to be serious when the time calls for it.

Having a life full of fun is great, but there will be a time that will require the balancing of fun with some seriousness to accomplish certain goals. When hard moments, such as financial difficulties arise, a father will put jokes aside to concentrate on resolving these difficulties. A boyfriend who plays and has fun all the time without taking anything seriously will not help you.

12. She deserves a boyfriend who treats her like a queen.

Fathers set a standard with not only the way they treat their daughters, but how they treat her mother. She will learn how she should expect to be treated by him.

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13. She deserves a boyfriend who is kind, patient, loving, gentle, and strong when he needs to be.

Fathers set examples by playing dolls, dress up, and allowing their daughters to paint their nails. Her boyfriend should not be afraid to do things that would “threaten his manhood”. A great man is secure in himself. There is a time to be strong, a time to be protective, and a time to be gentle.

14. She deserves a boyfriend who wants to be with her for more than her physical appearance and what she can do for him.

She can learn that her worth is not based on her physical appearance or ability. Her father loves her, and shows it through his actions as well as his words. You do not have to prove your love to your boyfriend by sleeping with him.

Featured photo credit: Baby Sweet Happy Human Papa Hands Hand/Maddox74 via pixabay.com

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Last Updated on August 4, 2020

The Gentle Art of Saying No For a Less Stressful Life

The Gentle Art of Saying No For a Less Stressful Life

No!

It’s a simple fact that you can never be productive if you take on too many commitments — you simply spread yourself too thin and will not be able to get anything done, at least not well or on time.

But requests for your time are coming in all the time — through phone, email, IM or in person. To stay productive, and minimize stress, you have to learn the Gentle Art of Saying No — an art that many people have problems with.

What’s so hard about saying no? Well, to start with, it can hurt, anger or disappoint the person you’re saying “no” to, and that’s not usually a fun task. Second, if you hope to work with that person in the future, you’ll want to continue to have a good relationship with that person, and saying “no” in the wrong way can jeopardize that.

But it doesn’t have to be difficult or hard on your relationship. Here’s how to master the Gentle Art of Saying No:

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1. Value Your Time

Know your commitments, and how valuable your precious time is. Then, when someone asks you to dedicate some of your time to a new commitment, you’ll know that you simply cannot do it. And tell them that: “I just can’t right now … my plate is overloaded as it is.”

2. Know Your Priorities

Even if you do have some extra time (which for many of us is rare), is this new commitment really the way you want to spend that time?

For myself, I know that more commitments means less time with my wife and kids, who are more important to me than anything.

3. Practice Saying No

Practice makes perfect. Saying “no” as often as you can is a great way to get better at it and more comfortable with saying the word. And sometimes, repeating the word is the only way to get a message through to extremely persistent people. When they keep insisting, just keep saying no. Eventually, they’ll get the message.

4. Don’t Apologize

A common way to start out is “I’m sorry but …” as people think that it sounds more polite. While politeness is important, apologizing just makes it sound weaker. You need to be firm, and unapologetic about guarding your time.

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5. Stop Being Nice

Again, it’s important to be polite, but being nice by saying yes all the time only hurts you. When you make it easy for people to grab your time (or money), they will continue to do it. But if you erect a wall, they will look for easier targets.

Show them that your time is well guarded by being firm and turning down as many requests (that are not on your top priority list) as possible.

6. Say No to Your Boss

Sometimes we feel that we have to say yes to our boss — they’re our boss, right? And if we say “no,” then we look like we can’t handle the work — at least, that’s the common reasoning.

But in fact, it’s the opposite — explain to your boss that by taking on too many commitments, you are weakening your productivity and jeopardizing your existing commitments. If your boss insists that you take on the project, go over your project or task list and ask him/her to re-prioritize, explaining that there’s only so much you can take on at one time.

7. Pre-Empting

It’s often much easier to pre-empt requests than to say “no” to them after the request has been made. If you know that requests are likely to be made, perhaps in a meeting, just say to everyone as soon as you come into the meeting,

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“Look guys, just to let you know, my week is booked full with some urgent projects and I won’t be able to take on any new requests.”

8. Get Back to You

Instead of providing an answer then and there, it’s often better to tell the person you’ll give their request some thought and get back to them. This will allow you to give it some consideration, and check your commitments and priorities. Then, if you can’t take on the request, simply tell them:

“After giving this some thought, and checking my commitments, I won’t be able to accommodate the request at this time.”

At least you gave it some consideration.

9. Maybe Later

If this is an option that you’d like to keep open, instead of just shutting the door on the person, it’s often better to just say,

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“This sounds like an interesting opportunity, but I just don’t have the time at the moment. Perhaps you could check back with me in [give a time frame].”

Next time, when they check back with you, you might have some free time on your hands.

10. It’s Not You, It’s Me

This classic dating rejection can work in other situations. Don’t be insincere about it, though. Often, the person or project is a good one, but it’s just not right for you, at least not at this time.

Simply say so — you can compliment the idea, the project, the person, the organization … but say that it’s not the right fit, or it’s not what you’re looking for at this time. Only say this if it’s true — people can sense insincerity.

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Featured photo credit: Kyle Glenn via unsplash.com

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