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13 Signs You’re an Introvert, but Also a Little Bit Outgoing

13 Signs You’re an Introvert, but Also a Little Bit Outgoing

We, as introverts who are little more outgoing, find it difficult to adjust to a lot of situations. I made discovery about who I was growing up and through this burden, I have become more introspective, selective and reflective. Here are some things about us you need to know.

1. You find it difficult to adjust to conventional systems.

A good part of our society caters for the extrovert, from our office spaces to hang out spots. Although you try to appear suitable for your environment you still feel awkward in large social settings. As an outgoing introvert, your focus is not matched for traditional settings because you will probably hate it.

2. You take your time to be warmed up around people.

You wouldn’t tell your story within the first hour of meeting someone new at a party. Although you desire to be an object of attention, you take your time to unleash yourself to people you are meeting for the first time. Furthermore, you would prefer things are more controlled in such a gathering before you start socializing.

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3. You are more attracted to introverts than extroverts.

Although you are a more outgoing introvert, you are still drawn to people who have the same attitudes and perspectives as you do. According to a few studies, introverts depend on their environment to gather energy and if the environment is not well suited with the right individuals or factors, you suddenly love to retreat.

4. You like to have fun and go out, but it should only be with your inner circle of friends.

Extroverts love to take full advantage of new environments or social gatherings. But introverts who are outgoing want their social gatherings to be special and have a more bonding appeal. That is why they would prefer to perform outdoor activities only with their inner circle of friends.

5. You prefer a balance of socializing, yet wanting to be alone.

As much as you want to go out to that new party, you would also want to be indoors with a cup of coffee or tea and being alone with yourself. Outgoing introverts try to weave a balance between both worlds of being with people and being with themselves.

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6. Your energy level is determined by your environment.

Getting to a party and warming up works well for you. But how long you stay in such an environment is dependent on the people you meet and how they could help you recharge that energy level you came to the party with. However since in such occasions you are usually surrounded with extroverts who are great at draining your social batteries, you quickly withdraw to your own solitude.

7. You love engaging in deep conversations.

Being an outgoing introvert doesn’t restrain you from trying to get the best out of your environment. You despise small talk and you are more into philosophy and great ideas. You socialize only with people who can make the best out of conversations and entertain you intellectually.

8. You focus your attention on people when you are with them.

Most times you are avoiding people and retreating to yourself. But anytime you grace a meeting with people you have not been with for so long your attention is totally on them. People may consider you to be flirty or overly sensitive but you like to get the best out of an environment when it engages you.

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9. You are not very comfortable with your first dates.

You are catchy during your first conversations and engagements with the opposite sex or a romantic interest, yet days after, you want to be left alone and want to distance yourself from such a person.

10. You have a mysterious spark.

Most times, people consider you to be unusual as you are unpredictable, but this is not intentional on your part as you do not consider your social life to be a focus.

11. You find it difficult to explain who you are.

You really cannot explain if you are social or antisocial or if you are introvert or an extrovert. You can’t explain where you belong since you have elements from both worlds. When you explain to people that you are really shy, people find this difficult to grasp.

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12. You enjoy traveling alone.

Traveling doesn’t have to be with a gang for you, yet you are excited that through the journey you will meet new people and gain new experiences.

13. You are deeply concerned about your state of being.

Truth be told your life is a conundrum and it hurts not knowing how to deal with the social and anti-social thing. You are deeply worried when you read this post or when you discover that all this while you have actually being angled as an outgoing introvert.

Featured photo credit: http://www.unsplash.com via download.unsplash.com

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More by this author

Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Published on May 18, 2021

How To Improve Listening Skills For Effective Workplace Communication

How To Improve Listening Skills For Effective Workplace Communication

We have two ears and one mouth for a reason—effective communication is dependent on using them in proportion, and this involves having good listening skills.

The workplace of the 21st century may not look the same as it did before COVID-19 spread throughout the world like wildfire, but that doesn’t mean you can relax your standards at work. If anything, Zoom meetings, conference calls, and the continuous time spent behind a screen have created a higher level of expectations for meeting etiquette and communication. And this goes further than simply muting your microphone during a meeting.

Effective workplace communication has been a topic of discussion for decades, yet, it is rarely addressed or implemented due to a lack of awareness and personal ownership by all parties.

Effective communication isn’t just about speaking clearly or finding the appropriate choice of words. It starts with intentional listening and being present. Here’s how to improve your listening skills for effective workplace communication.

Listen to Understand, Not to Speak

There are stark differences between listening and hearing. Listening involves intention, focused effort, and concentration, whereas hearing simply involves low-level awareness that someone else is speaking. Listening is a voluntary activity that allows one to be present and in the moment while hearing is passive and effortless.[1]

Which one would you prefer your colleagues to implement during your company-wide presentation? It’s a no-brainer.

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Listening can be one of the most powerful tools in your communication arsenal because one must listen to understand the message being told to them. As a result of this deeper understanding, communication can be streamlined because there is a higher level of comprehension that will facilitate practical follow-up questions, conversations, and problem-solving. And just because you heard something doesn’t mean you actually understood it.

We take this for granted daily, but that doesn’t mean we can use that as an excuse.

Your brain is constantly scanning your environment for threats, opportunities, and situations to advance your ability to promote your survival. And yet, while we are long past the days of worrying about being eaten by wildlife, the neurocircuitry responsible for these mechanisms is still hard-wired into our psychology and neural processing.

A classic example of this is the formation of memories. Case in point: where were you on June 3rd, 2014? For most of you reading this article, your mind will go completely blank, which isn’t necessarily bad.

The brain is far too efficient to retain every detail about every event that happens in your life, mainly because many events that occur aren’t always that important. The brain doesn’t—and shouldn’t—care what you ate for lunch three weeks ago or what color shirt you wore golfing last month. But for those of you who remember where you were on June 3rd, 2014, this date probably holds some sort of significance to you. Maybe it was a birthday or an anniversary. Perhaps it was the day your child was born. It could have even been a day where you lost someone special in your life.

Regardless of the circumstance, the brain is highly stimulated through emotion and engagement, which is why memories are usually stored in these situations. When the brain’s emotional centers become activated, the brain is far more likely to remember an event.[2] And this is also true when intention and focus are applied to listening to a conversation.

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Utilizing these hard-wired primitive pathways of survival to optimize your communication in the workplace is a no-brainer—literally and figuratively.

Intentional focus and concentrated efforts will pay off in the long run because you will retain more information and have an easier time recalling it down the road, making you look like a superstar in front of your colleagues and co-workers. Time to kiss those note-taking days away!

Effective Communication Isn’t Always Through Words

While we typically associate communication with words and verbal affirmations, communication can come in all shapes and forms. In the Zoom meeting era we live in, it has become far more challenging to utilize and understand these other forms of language. And this is because they are typically easier to see when we are sitting face to face with the person we speak to.[3]

Body language can play a significant role in how our words and communication are interpreted, especially when there is a disconnection involved.[4] When someone tells you one thing, yet their body language screams something completely different, it’s challenging to let that go. Our brain immediately starts to search for more information and inevitably prompts us to follow up with questions that will provide greater clarity to the situation at hand. And in all reality, not saying something might be just as important as actually saying something.

These commonly overlooked non-verbal communication choices can provide a plethora of information about the intentions, emotions, and motivations. We do this unconsciously, and it happens with every confrontation, conversation, and interaction we engage in. The magic lies in the utilization and active interpretation of these signals to improve your listening skills and your communication skills.

Our brains were designed for interpreting our world, which is why we are so good at recognizing subtle nuances and underlying disconnect within our casual encounters. So, when we begin to notice conflicting messages between verbal and non-verbal communication, our brain takes us down a path of troubleshooting.

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Which messages are consistent with this theme over time? Which statements aren’t aligning with what they’re really trying to tell me? How should I interpret their words and body language?

Suppose we want to break things down even further. In that case, one must understand that body language is usually a subconscious event, meaning that we rarely think about our body language. This happens because our brain’s primary focus is to string together words and phrases for verbal communication, which usually requires a higher level of processing. This doesn’t mean that body language will always tell the truth, but it does provide clues to help us weigh information, which can be pretty beneficial in the long run.

Actively interpreting body language can provide you with an edge in your communication skills. It can also be used as a tool to connect with the individual you are speaking to. This process is deeply ingrained into our human fabric and utilizes similar methods babies use while learning new skills from their parents’ traits during the early years of development.

Mirroring a person’s posture or stance can create a subtle bond, facilitating a sense of feeling like one another. This process is triggered via the activation of specific brain regions through the stimulation of specialized neurons called mirror neurons.[5] These particular neurons become activated while watching an individual engage in an activity or task, facilitating learning, queuing, and understanding. They also allow the person watching an action to become more efficient at physically executing the action, creating changes in the brain, and altering the overall structure of the brain to enhance output for that chosen activity.

Listening with intention can make you understand your colleague, and when paired together with mirroring body language, you can make your colleague feel like you two are alike. This simple trick can facilitate a greater bond of understanding and communication within all aspects of the conversation.

Eliminate All Distractions, Once and for All

As Jim Rohn says, “What is easy to do is also easy not to do.” And this is an underlying principle that will carry through in all aspects of communication. Distractions are a surefire way to ensure a lack of understanding or interpretation of a conversation, which in turn, will create inefficiencies and a poor foundation for communication.

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This should come as no surprise, especially in this day in age where people are constantly distracted by social media, text messaging, and endlessly checking their emails. We’re stuck in a cultural norm that has hijacked our love for the addictive dopamine rush and altered our ability to truly focus our efforts on the task at hand. And these distractions aren’t just distractions for the time they’re being used. They use up coveted brainpower and central processes that secondarily delay our ability to get back on track.

Gloria Mark, a researcher at UC Irvine, discovered that it takes an average of 23 minutes and 15 seconds for our brains to reach their peak state of focus after an interruption.[6] Yes, you read that correctly—distractions are costly, error-prone, and yield little to no benefit outside of a bump to the ego when receiving a new like on your social media profile.

Meetings should implement a no-phone policy, video conference calls should be set on their own browser with no other tabs open, and all updates, notifications, and email prompt should be immediately turned off, if possible, to eliminate all distractions during a meeting.

These are just a few examples of how we can optimize our environment to facilitate the highest levels of communication within the workplace.

Actions Speak Louder Than Words

Effective communication in the workplace doesn’t have to be challenging, but it does have to be intentional. Knowledge can only take us so far, but once again, knowing something is very different than putting it into action.

Just like riding a bike, the more often you do it, the easier it becomes. Master communicators are phenomenal listeners, which allows them to be effective communicators in the workplace and in life. If you genuinely want to own your communication, you must implement this information today and learn how to improve your listening skills.

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Choose your words carefully, listen intently, and most of all, be present in the moment—because that’s what master communicators do, and you can do it, too!

More Tips Improving Listening Skills

Featured photo credit: Mailchimp via unsplash.com

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