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13 Rules High Achievers Never Break

13 Rules High Achievers Never Break

For you to become successful in life, there are certain rules you ought not to break. Life itself is governed by principles, and it’s those principles that we embrace that determine whether or not we will attain greatness. After looking at the lives of certain great men, I was able to come up 13 rules that high achievers never break. If you obey these rules, you will become a high achiever too.

1. Don’t compare your life to others and don’t judge them; you have no idea what their journey is all about.

Stop trying to be someone else. We all have our own distinct purposes in life. Be yourself always and become the best version of you. You are original, not a counterfeit.

2. Don’t act the way you are feeling. Instead, act the way you want to feel.

There is a saying that action precedes feeling. If you feel sad, act like you are happy, and you will eventually become happy. High achievers get disappointed a lot because they fail many times, but since they are highly-optimistic people, they see advantage in adversity and make the best of every situation.

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3. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up your present.

You need to forgive yourself for every mistake you have made in the past. High achievers don’t go around beating themselves up for the mistakes they have made. Forgiveness is the first step to progress and only those with a strong heart can forgive themselves and those who have hurt them. Move forward today and stop dwelling on the past.

4. Don’t answer ads that promise get-rich-quick schemes because it won’t be you who gets rich quick.

Believe me when I say this: apart from bonanzas, lottery, promos or TV shows, there is nothing you can do in this world that gets you rich in a jiffy. If it sounds too good to be true, then it most likely is.

5. You can’t do everything yourself, so get help along the way.

High achievers are people of great influence. Your level of influence in most cases determines your level of success. Make meaningful relationships and help others get what they want.

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6. Don’t envy what others have; you don’t know how they got it.

They say that not all that glitters is gold. The truth is that you don’t know how he got what he has or the price he had to pay in exchange for it. Think about this before you envy somebody.

7. If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say.

High achievers don’t talk just because they have to say something; they talk because they have something to say. Most successful men are very careful with their tongues–they hardly speak out of turn or when it is unnecessary. Learn to talk less and listen more.

8. Be comfortable only outside of your comfort zone.

Do something every day that scares you, and break your own records each day. This is the gateway to tremendous self-improvement. It is the secret of high achievers.

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9. If you are going to jump off a bridge, make sure you know how deep the water is.

Always determine the price you have to pay for every decision you make before making that decision. Many great men today are college dropouts, but they knew what they wanted and the understood the implications, so they went all-out. So before you quit your job or quit college, and before you jump off that bridge, ask yourself this very important question: “how deep is the water?”

10. Change only what you can change and let go of the rest.

You can’t change everything you want to change. No matter how important it may be, sometimes it’s better to do your own part and leave the coming generation to do theirs. Things we can’t change, if we persist, eventually change us.

11. What others think of you is none of your business.

What matters most in life is your belief in yourself. People will always talk about you, and if they don’t, then you are probably not worth much. Ignore whatever anyone has to say about you and hold firm what you know and what you believe.

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12. Never test the depth of the river with both feet.

This is very important. Don’t put all your eggs into one basket; you may never recover from it. Spread out your risks in life. There is no way to succeed without taking risks, but its wiser and safer to take calculated risks.

13. Honesty is a very expensive gift. Do not expect it from cheap people.

This is one of Warren Buffet’s guiding principles. I have learned this lesson the hard way and my experiences are not very pretty. The sooner you learn this, the better. Do not expect too much from people–only a few men have that virtue called integrity.

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Last Updated on January 15, 2021

7 Ways To Have More Confident Body Language

7 Ways To Have More Confident Body Language

The popular idiomatic saying that “actions speak louder than words” has been around for centuries, but even to this day, most people struggle with at least one area of nonverbal communication. Consequently, many of us aspire to have more confident body language but don’t have the knowledge and tools necessary to change what are largely unconscious behaviors.

Given that others’ perceptions of our competence and confidence are predominantly influenced by what we do with our faces and bodies, it’s important to develop greater self-awareness and consciously practice better posture, stance, eye contact, facial expressions, hand movements, and other aspects of body language.

Posture

First things first: how is your posture? Let’s start with a quick self-assessment of your body.

  • Are your shoulders slumped over or rolled back in an upright posture?
  • When you stand up, do you evenly distribute your weight or lean excessively to one side?
  • Does your natural stance place your feet relatively shoulder-width apart or are your feet and legs close together in a closed-off position?
  • When you sit, does your lower back protrude out in a slumped position or maintain a straight, spine-friendly posture in your seat?

All of these are important considerations to make when evaluating and improving your posture and stance, which will lead to more confident body language over time. If you routinely struggle with maintaining good posture, consider buying a posture trainer/corrector, consulting a chiropractor or physical therapist, stretching daily, and strengthening both your core and back muscles.

Facial Expressions

Are you prone to any of the following in personal or professional settings?

  • Bruxism (tight, clenched jaw or grinding teeth)
  • Frowning and/or furrowing brows
  • Avoiding direct eye contact and/or staring at the ground

If you answered “yes” to any of these, then let’s start by examining various ways in which you can project confident body language through your facial expressions.

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1. Understand How Others Perceive Your Facial Expressions

A December 2020 study by UC Berkeley and Google researchers utilized a deep neural network to analyze facial expressions in six million YouTube clips representing people from over 140 countries. The study found that, despite socio-cultural differences, people around the world tended to use about 70% of the same facial expressions in response to different emotional stimuli and situations.[1]

The study’s researchers also published a fascinating interactive map to demonstrate how their machine learning technology assessed various facial expressions and determined subtle differences in emotional responses.

This study highlights the social importance of facial expressions because whether or not we’re consciously aware of them—by gazing into a mirror or your screen on a video conferencing platform—how we present our faces to others can have tremendous impacts on their perceptions of us, our confidence, and our emotional states. This awareness is the essential first step towards

2. Relax Your Face

New research on bruxism and facial tension found the stresses and anxieties of Covid-19 lockdowns led to considerable increases in orofacial pain, jaw-clenching, and teeth grinding, particularly among women.[2]

The National Institute of Dental and Craniofacial Research estimates that more than 10 million Americans alone have temporomandibular joint dysfunction (TMJ syndrome), and facial tension can lead to other complications such as insomnia, wrinkles, dry skin, and dark, puffy bags under your eyes.[3])

To avoid these unpleasant outcomes, start practicing progressive muscle relaxation techniques and taking breaks more frequently throughout the day to moderate facial tension.[4] You should also try out some biofeedback techniques to enhance your awareness of involuntary bodily processes like facial tension and achieve more confident body language as a result.[5]

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3. Improve Your Eye Contact

Did you know there’s an entire subfield of kinesic communication research dedicated to eye movements and behaviors called oculesics?[6] It refers to various communication behaviors including direct eye contact, averting one’s gaze, pupil dilation/constriction, and even frequency of blinking. All of these qualities can shape how other people perceive you, which means that eye contact is yet another area of nonverbal body language that we should be more mindful of in social interactions.

The ideal type (direct/indirect) and duration of eye contact depends on a variety of factors, such as cultural setting, differences in power/authority/age between the parties involved, and communication context. Research has shown that differences in the effects of eye contact are particularly prominent when comparing East Asian and Western European/North American cultures.[7]

To improve your eye contact with others, strive to maintain consistent contact for at least 3 to 4 seconds at a time, consciously consider where you’re looking while listening to someone else, and practice eye contact as much as possible (as strange as this may seem in the beginning, it’s the best way to improve).

3. Smile More

There are many benefits to smiling and laughing, and when it comes to working on more confident body language, this is an area that should be fun, low-stakes, and relatively stress-free.

Smiling is associated with the “happiness chemical” dopamine and the mood-stabilizing hormone, serotonin. Many empirical studies have shown that smiling generally leads to positive outcomes for the person smiling, and further research has shown that smiling can influence listeners’ perceptions of our confidence and trustworthiness as well.

4. Hand Gestures

Similar to facial expressions and posture, what you do with your hands while speaking or listening in a conversation can significantly influence others’ perceptions of you in positive or negative ways.

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It’s undoubtedly challenging to consciously account for all of your nonverbal signals while simultaneously trying to stay engaged with the verbal part of the discussion, but putting in the effort to develop more bodily awareness now will make it much easier to unconsciously project more confident body language later on.

5. Enhance Your Handshake

In the article, “An Anthropology of the Handshake,” University of Copenhagen social anthropology professor Bjarke Oxlund assessed the future of handshaking in wake of the Covid-19 pandemic:[8]

“Handshakes not only vary in function and meaning but do so according to social context, situation and scale. . . a public discussion should ensue on the advantages and disadvantages of holding on to the tradition of shaking hands as the conventional gesture of greeting and leave-taking in a variety of circumstances.”

It’s too early to determine some of the ways in which Covid-19 has permanently changed our social norms and professional etiquette standards, but it’s reasonable to assume that handshaking may retain its importance in American society even after this pandemic. To practice more confident body language in the meantime, the video on the science of the perfect handshake below explains what you need to know.

6. Complement Your Verbals With Hand Gestures

As you know by now, confident communication involves so much more than simply smiling more or sounding like you know what you’re talking about. What you do with your hands can be particularly influential in how others perceive you, whether you’re fidgeting with an object, clenching your fists, hiding your hands in your pockets, or calmly gesturing to emphasize important points you’re discussing.

Social psychology researchers have found that “iconic gestures”—hand movements that appear to be meaningfully related to the speaker’s verbal content—can have profound impacts on listeners’ information retention. In other words, people are more likely to engage with you and remember more of what you said when you speak with complementary hand gestures instead of just your voice.[9]

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Further research on hand gestures has shown that even your choice of the left or right hand for gesturing can influence your ability to clearly convey information to listeners, which supports the notion that more confident body language is readily achievable through greater self-awareness and deliberate nonverbal actions.[10]

Final Takeaways

Developing better posture, enhancing your facial expressiveness, and practicing hand gestures can vastly improve your communication with other people. At first, it will be challenging to consciously practice nonverbal behaviors that many of us are accustomed to performing daily without thinking about them.

If you ever feel discouraged, however, remember that there’s no downside to consistently putting in just a little more time and effort to increase your bodily awareness. With the tips and strategies above, you’ll be well on your way to embracing more confident body language and amplifying others’ perceptions of you in no time.

More Tips on How to Develop a Confident Body Language

Featured photo credit: Maria Lupan via unsplash.com

Reference

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