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12 Things Highly Confident People Don’t Do

12 Things Highly Confident People Don’t Do

I think some people confuse self-confidence with having a big ego. It’s almost like they think that if they love themselves, then other people will think that they are stuck-up and unlikable. I couldn’t disagree more. I always say that truly confident people don’t need to go around telling people how great they are because they don’t need to. People automatically notice their greatness from their positive behavior. Here are things that highly confident people just don’t do:

1. They don’t judge or make fun of other people.

When someone is confident, they want you to be confident too. Confident people are loving people. They want to lift you up, not tear you down.

2. They don’t seek attention for the sake of attention.

They may have an outgoing, life-of-the-party personality, or they might be quiet and shy. But even if an extrovert has high self-confidence, they don’t need the attention. They are fine if they receive it, but they don’t go actively seeking outside validation because they have already validated themselves. And that’s all they need.

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3. They don’t brag about their accomplishments.

Confident people are proud of their accomplishments. And they truly want to help people. But they do the things they do because they have passion for it. They don’t have a “Look at me! Look how awesome I am!” attitude.

4. They don’t spread negative energy.

People want to be around them. They ooze positive energy. Contrary to the “energy vampires” of the world who do nothing but suck the life out of you, confident people add to you; they don’t take away.

5. They don’t only talk about themselves.

Confident people are genuinely concerned about others, not just themselves. They ask questions. They offer suggestion and advice if they are asked. They make conversations and relationships a two-way street.

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6. They don’t over-complicate things.

They don’t make mountains out of mole hills. Confident people try to act calmly and rationally for the best of all concerned. Sometimes that includes simplifying things so that problems can be solved with a “team” mentality, not a “me vs. you” mentality.

7. They don’t focus on what they don’t want.

If you only focus on what you don’t want, you’re only going to get more of what you don’t want. Confident people know that. They look at the bright side and have a grateful heart. They set goals, hold up a positive vision of their desire, and then they take action and go after it.

8. They don’t act full of themselves.

Confident people never project an attitude. Instead, they project kindness and warmth. They smile and laugh. They want you to feel good about yourself, instead of telling you how great they are.

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9. They don’t break their word.

When someone breaks their word, it disappoints other people. Confident people know this. They don’t want other people to feel bad. Their intention is to lift up other people, so they make sure they do everything they can to do what they say they are going to do.

10. They don’t shy away from failure.

Highly confident people know that there really is no such thing as failure. There are only learning opportunities. And when the failures, or learning opportunities, come along, they know that they will be better for it. They don’t judge themselves negatively. They simply say, “thank you for the lesson” and move on.

11. They don’t waste time on things that don’t matter.

Confident people know what really matters in life. People matter. They prioritize time to spend with loved ones because it’s what life is all about. They also don’t sweat the small things. They put things into perspective and have an appreciation for everything.

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12. They don’t focus on the negative.

Generally speaking, confident people are optimists. They are happy. They look at what is good, not what is bad. They focus on what can go right, not what can go wrong. They don’t dwell in negativity. Instead, they see the positives in every situation.

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Carol Morgan

Dr. Carol Morgan is a communication professor, dating/relationship and success coach, TV personality, speaker, and author.

Learn the Different Types of Love (and Better Understand Your Partner) How to Become a Motivational Speaker and Influence Millions of People Why It’s Okay to Hit the Wall and How to Overcome It Fast Are You In a Verbally Abusive Relationship? (And What to Do About It) 25 Pieces of Empowering Relationship Advice for Women

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Last Updated on November 15, 2018

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

What do you think it takes to achieve your goals? Hard work? Lots of actions? While these are paramount to becoming successful in reaching our goals, neither of these are possible without a positive mindset.

As humans, we naturally tend to lean towards a negative outlook when it comes to our hopes and dreams. We are prone to believing that we have limitations either from within ourselves or from external forces keeping us from truly getting to where we want to be in life. Our tendency to think that we’ll “believe it when we see it” suggests that our mindsets are focused on our goals not really being attainable until they’ve been achieved. The problem with this is that this common mindset fuels our limiting beliefs and shows a lack of faith in ourselves.

The Success Mindset

Success in achieving our goals comes down to a ‘success mindset’. Successful mindsets are those focused on victory, based on positive mental attitudes, empowering inclinations and good habits. Acquiring a success mindset is the sure-fire way to dramatically increase your chance to achieve your goals.

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The idea that achieving our goals comes down to our habits and actions is actually a typical type of mindset that misses a crucial point; that our mindset is, in fact, the determiner of our energy and what actions we take. A negative mindset will tend to create negative actions and similarly if we have a mindset that will only set into action once we see ‘proof’ that our goals are achievable, then the road will be much longer and arduous. This is why, instead of thinking “I’ll believe it when I see it”, a success mindset will think “I’ll see it when I believe it.”

The Placebo Effect and What It Shows Us About The Power of Mindset

The placebo effect is a perfect example of how mindset really can be powerful. In scientific trials, a group of participants were told they received medication that will heal an ailment but were actually given a sugar pill that does nothing (the placebo). Yet after the trial the participants believed it’s had a positive effect – sometimes even cured their ailment even though nothing has changed. This is the power of mindset.

How do we apply this to our goals? Well, when we set goals and dreams how often do we really believe they’ll come to fruition? Have absolute faith that they can be achieved? Have a complete unwavering expectation? Most of us don’t because we hold on to negative mindsets and limiting beliefs about ourselves that stop us from fully believing we are capable or that it’s at all possible. We tend to listen to the opinions of others despite them misaligning with our own or bow to societal pressures that make us believe we should think and act a certain way. There are many reasons why we possess these types of mindsets but a success mindset can be achieved.

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How To Create a Success Mindset

People with success mindsets have a particular way of perceiving things. They have positive outlooks and are able to put faith fully in their ability to succeed. With that in mind, here are a few ways that can turn a negative mindset into a successful one.

1. A Success Mindset Comes From a Growth Mindset

How does a mindset even manifest itself? It comes from the way you talk to yourself in the privacy of your own head. Realising this will go a long way towards noticing how you speak to yourself and others around you. If it’s mainly negative language you use when you talk about your goals and aspirations then this is an example of a fixed mindset.

A negative mindset brings with it a huge number of limiting beliefs. It creates a fixed mindset – one that can’t see beyond it’s own limitations. A growth mindset sees these limitations and looks beyond them – it finds ways to overcome obstacles and believes that this will result in success. When you think of your goal, a fixed mindset may think “what if I fail?” A growth mindset would look at the same goal and think “failures happen but that doesn’t mean I won’t be successful.”

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There’s a lot of power in changing your perspective.

2. Look For The Successes

It’s really important to get your mind focused on positive aspects of your goal. Finding inspiration through others can be really uplifting and keep you on track with developing your success mindset; reinforcing your belief that your dreams can be achieved. Find people that you can talk with about how they achieved their goals and seek out and surround yourself with positive people. This is crucial if you’re learning to develop a positive mindset.

3. Eliminate Negativity

You can come up against a lot of negativity sometimes either through other people or within yourself. Understanding that other people’s negative opinions are created through their own fears and limiting beliefs will go a long way in sustaining your success mindset. But for a lot of us, negative chatter can come from within and these usually manifest as negative words such as can’t, won’t, shouldn’t. Sometimes, when we think of how we’re going to achieve our goals, statements in our minds come out as negative absolutes: ‘It never works out for me’ or ‘I always fail.’

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When you notice these coming up you need to turn them around with ‘It always works out for me!’ and ‘I never fail!’ The trick is to believe it no matter what’s happened in the past. Remember that every new day is a clean slate and for you to adjust your mindset.

4. Create a Vision

Envisioning your end goal and seeing it in your mind is an important trait of a success mindset. Allowing ourselves to imagine our success creates a powerful excitement that shouldn’t be underestimated. When our brain becomes excited at the thought of achieving our goals, we become more committed, work harder towards achieving it and more likely to do whatever it takes to make it happen.

If this involves creating a vision board that you can look at to remind yourself every day then go for it. Small techniques like this go a long way in sustaining your success mindset and shouldn’t be dismissed.

An Inspirational Story…

For centuries experts said that running a mile in under 4 minutes was humanly impossible. On the 6th May 1954, Rodger Bannister did just that. As part of his training, Bannister relentlessly visualised the achievement, believing he could accomplish what everyone said wasn’t possible…and he did it.

What’s more amazing is that, as soon as Bannister achieved the 4-minute mile, more and more people also achieved it. How was this possible after so many years of no one achieving it? Because in people’s minds it was suddenly possible – once people knew that it was achievable it created a mindset of success and now, after over fifty years since Bannister did the ‘impossible’, his record has been lowered by 17 seconds – the power of the success mindset!

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