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12 Things My American Friends Never Believe About The Dutch

12 Things My American Friends Never Believe About The Dutch

Whenever I visit the US, there are things that baffle me. I mean seriously, why do your public bathroom doors have space on the sides? It’s creepy. Some things about the Dutch though, my friends in the US never believe…

Just to be clear:

  • These are things us Dutchies consider normal
  • I am not exaggerating
  • This is not satire

1. We are genuinely proud of buying things at a discount

In any other country, people boast about how much their purchases cost. Not so much in the Netherlands. It doesn’t matter if you life on a minimum wage of make $1.000.000 a year. You love showing off discounts.

In any other country:

This shirt is awesome, it cost be like $50

In the Netherlands

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This shirt is awesome, I bought it with a $20 discount!

2. All our universities cost under $2000 a year

And we our students consider it high already. Not only that, but any Dutch student can get a low interest loan that covers tuition and living cost. Generally a Dutch student making maximum use of student provisions gets $1000 equivalent in Euros a month.

3. University rankings are not that important

In the Netherlands an institution needs to have a certain level before it can call itself a university. If it is not up to par, it loses its title.

Whereas in the states university rankings are life or death to your career, the Netherlands doesn’t have this. Sure, some universities specialize in certain subjects, but the level is about the same.

Oh, and our education levels greatly top those of the US.

4. People can party hard without drinking alcohol

That includes students and other party with young people. My American friends in university looked at me really funny when I said this, and assumed I was joking.

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Don’t get me wrong, the Dutch are great drinking buddies. But being sober for a night only makes it easier to party in a more coordinated fashion.

5. Alcohol doesn’t affect us in the same way

The way people act when they use alcohol differs per country. The Americans are similar to the British. I’ll leave you to decide what that means.

When the Dutch drink, behavior amplifies but doesn’t go entirely mad (not more that usual anyway). Sure sometimes people get overly wasted, but as a rule alcohol is only a catalyst.

Rule 4 + 5 can cause some confusion though. One of my friends once almost got thrown out of a party at the the NY stock exchange because the guards thought he was drunk. He was sober as a rock and spend half an hour explaining and standing on one leg.

6. At birthdays, we congratulate everyone in the room

I never realized how odd this is until international friends pointed it out. It is customary to shake hands and/or give 3 kisses to everyone congratulating them with the person who’s birthday it is. E.g. You congratulate the mom with “congratulations with your son”.

If you are a bit lazy you stick to the family, but often you do it to friends as well.

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7. We have a word for “being entertained by other people’s suffering”

Leedvermaak. Literally suffering (leed) entertainment (vermaak). Strictly speaking the English language uses the German schadenfreude, which is “happiness about misfortune”. Leedvermaak is what you feel when you watch Epic Fail compilations.

8. Our version of Santa has a black helper

And every year like clockwork people start discussing racism around December. Especially other countries who don’t understand the tradition. I won’t start a rant here, but for some perspective for internationals: View traditions within their context. You see a slave, we see a funny helper who happens to be black.

The little black fellow is most likely actually a slave trader according to history. But more on that this December…

9. We have one word for a black person, and it makes Americans go pale

And it’s “neger”. Often a Dutchie has gotten into trouble mis-translating this word to the English language.

Context: racism is not that big in the Netherlands when compared to the US. Sure we can improve (and we shall), but it is nothing like the horrendous proportions of it in America.

I thought there was an ethnic event being organised by an African American group in NYC the first time I got there, because all the traffic men were black. Being Dutch, a racist explanation didn’t even enter my mind.

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10. We don’t understand what other countries call polite behavior

The Dutch see communication for what it is: communication. What this means:

  • If we offer you something and you say no, we won’t ask again or politely ‘insist’
  • We don’t sugar coat what we say, though sometimes we think we do
  • If you ask us how we are doing we might actually tell you (this one freaks Americans out so much…)

We are also used to being allowed to criticize anyone. And we expect that person to thank us. We see it as a favor that we help you develop.

11. Weed is not a big deal, and we are not potheads

If you see someone in public who is high as a kite, it’s probably a tourist. The Dutch regard weed much the same as alcohol. You don’t drink from a vodka bottle while walking the street unless it’s kingsday. And nobody cares if you decide to get high.

12. We don’t tip but not because we are cheap

In the Netherlands you only tip if the waiter was particularly nice. A tip is also called a gratuity, a reward out of gratefulness. So that is how we see it.

We expect that the price on the menu includes a fair wage and profit for everyone involved. Otherwise it is just bad business management.

The Dutch grow angry and frustrated by the American habits of assumed tipping and prices excluding tax. I mean really:

  • If your tip has a fixed percentage, include it in the price
  • People can’t deduct tax, businesses can. Only do ex tax prices if you are a business to business company

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Last Updated on September 12, 2019

12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life

12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life

Even the most charismatic people you know, whether in person or celebrities of some sort, experience days where they feel lost in life and isolated from everyone else.

While it’s good to know we aren’t alone in this feeling, the question still remains:

What should we do when we feel lost and lonely?

Here are 12 things to remember:

1. Recognize That It’s Okay!

The truth is, there are times you need to be alone. If you’ve always been accustomed to being in contact with people, this may prove difficult.

However, learning how to be alone and comfortable in your own skin will give you confidence and a sense of self reliance.

We cheat ourselves out of the opportunity to become self reliant when we look for constant companionship.

Learn how to embrace your me time: What Your Fear of Being Alone Is Really About and How to Get over It

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2. Use Your Lost and Loneliness as a Self-Directing Guide

You’ve most likely heard the expression: “You have to know where you’ve been to know where you’re going.”

Loneliness also serves as a life signal to indicate you’re in search of something. It’s when we’re in the midst of solitude that answers come from true soul searching.

Remember, there is more to life than what you’re feeling.

3. Realize Loneliness Helps You Face the Truth

Being in the constant company of others, although comforting sometimes, can often serve as a distraction when we need to face the reality of a situation.

Solitude cuts straight to the chase and forces you to deal with the problem at hand. See it as a blessing that can serve as a catalyst to set things right!

4. Be Aware That You Have More Control Than You Think

Typically, when we see ourselves as being lost or lonely, it gives us an excuse to view everything we come in contact with in a negative light. It lends itself to putting ourselves in the victim mode, when the truth of the matter is that you choose your attitude in every situation.

No one can force a feeling upon you! It is YOU who has the ultimate say as to how you choose to react.

5. Embrace the Freedom That the Feeling of Being Alone Can Offer

Instead of wallowing in self pity, which many are prone to do because of loneliness, try looking at your circumstance as a new-found freedom.

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Most people are in constant need of approval of their viewpoints. Try enjoying the fact that  you don’t need everyone you care about to support your decisions.

6. Acknowledge the Person You Are Now

Perhaps you feel a sense of loneliness and confusion because your life circumstances have taken you away from the persona that others know to be you.

Perhaps the new you differs radically from the old. Realize that life is about change and how we react to that change. It’s okay that you’re not who you used to be.

Take a look at this article and learn to accept your imperfect self: Accept Yourself (Flaws and All): 7 Benefits of Being Vulnerable

7. Keep Striving to Do Your Best

Often those who are feeling isolated and unto themselves will develop a defeatist attitude. They’ll do substandard work because their self esteem is low and they don’t care.

Never let this feeling take away your sense of worth! Do your best always and when you come through this dark time, others will admire how you stayed determined in spite of the obstacles you had to overcome.

And to live your best life, you must do this ONE thing: step out of your comfort zone.

8. Don’t Forget That Time Is Precious

When we’re lost in a sea of loneliness and depression, it’s all too easy to reflect on regrets of past life events. This does nothing but feed negativity and perpetuate the situation.

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Instead of falling prey to this common pitfall, put one foot in front of the other and acknowledge every positive step you take. By doing this, you can celebrate the struggles you overcome at the end of the day.

9. Remember, Things Happen for a Reason

Every circumstance we encounter in our life is designed to teach us and that lesson is in turn passed on to others.

Sometimes we’re fortunate enough to figure out the lesson to be learned, while other times, we simply need to have faith that if the lesson wasn’t meant directly for us to learn from, how we handled it was observed by someone who needed to learn.

Your solitude and feeling of lost, in this instance, although painful possibly, may be teaching someone else.

10. Journal During This Time

Record your thoughts when you’re at the height of loneliness and feeling lost. You’ll be amazed when you reflect back at how you viewed things at the time and how far you’ve come later.

This time (if recorded) can give you a keen insight into who you are and what makes you feel the way you feel.

11. Remember You Aren’t the First to Feel This Way

It’s quite common to feel as if we’re alone and no one else has ever felt this way before. We think this because at the time of our distress, we’re silently observing others around us who are seemingly fine in every way.

The truth is, we can’t possibly know the struggles of those around us unless they elect to share them. We ALL have known this pain!

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Try confiding in someone you trust and ask them how they deal with these feelings when they experienced it. You may be surprised at what you learn.

12. Ask for Help If the Problem Persists

The feeling of being lost and lonely is common to everyone, but typically it will last for a relatively short period of time.

Most people will confess to, at one time or another, being in a “funk.” But if the problem persists longer than you feel it should, don’t ignore it.

When your ability to reason and consider things rationally becomes impaired, do not poo poo the problem away and think it isn’t worthy of attention. Seek medical help.

Afraid to ask for help? Here’s how to change your outlook to aim high!

Final Thoughts

Loneliness and a sense of feeling lost can in many ways be extremely painful and difficult to deal with at best. However, these feelings can also serve as a catalyst for change in our lives if we acknowledge them and act.

Above anything, cherish your mental well being and don’t underestimate its worth. Seek professional guidance if you’re unable to distinguish between a sense of freedom for yourself and a sense of despair.

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Featured photo credit: Andrew Neel via unsplash.com

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