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11 First Date Tips for Modern Relationships

11 First Date Tips for Modern Relationships

It doesn’t matter where or how you got one, first dates are awesome. And terrifying.

Whether you’re meeting up with your hairdresser’s cousin’s single friend, or you’ve decided to choose an unusual date on HowAboutWe, there are more ‘first world problems’ in the world of dating now than ever. On your first date, they can be deal-breakers, so check out these 11 first date tips for modern love lives.

1. Know when it’s a date (and when it isn’t)

There are no hard rules any more when it comes to what counts as a date. You could go for nachos with several friends and still make that your first date if you both want to. Or you could meet one-on-one, have dinner, sleep together, and call it “friends with benefits”. That being so, your safest bet is to be clear by calling it a date when you agree where and when to meet up.

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2. Talk, don’t text

Asking someone on a date by text or IM might seem like a great way to dodge confidence issues, but it loses a lot of your message. Instead, make the arrangements the old-fashioned way by phone or in person so that you can hear each other’s voices. And if you’re invited on a date via SMS, text back, “Sounds good. Give me a call when you’re free to talk about it!”

3. Don’t do dinner

Dinner takes a while and if you’re desperate to escape after the first drink, you’ll wish you’d arranged a shorter date! Go for a lunch date instead, or choose a non-food situation like a walk in the park. That way you can leave early if you want, or make it last all afternoon if you’re having fun.

4. Agree a connectivity policy

Do you hate it when people answer phone calls during a date? Or are you too busy tweeting to notice? Agree with your date from the start about what’s OK and what’s rude so that you won’t get annoyed with each other’s mobile interruptions.

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5. Smell nice

Smell is one of the most complex human senses; it triggers emotions, memories, and physical feelings. If you smell nice to your date, they’ll find you more attractive; if you smell nice to yourself, you’ll feel more confident and attractive, too. Scents that most people (male or female) like include fruits, vanilla, and clean human skin.

6. Ask them to do you a favour

It may sound backwards, but it’s true. Research shows that asking somebody to do you a personal favour tends to make them like you more, so ask for something small like their help to choose a gift for a friend. Then thank them plenty and show your gratitude by inviting them on a second date!

7. Pick up your own tab

It’s so much less complicated than negotiating any other payment arrangement with someone you barely know. And because it’s fair, neither of you will feel owed or owing.

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8. No humblebragging

Yes, it’s impressive that you compete in triathlons/run your own business/know that DJ. It’s so impressive that pretending to be humble or embarrassed when you’re actually pretty damn proud is just silly. Brag openly and briefly, as in, “Yeah, I do triathlons. I won the Example Triathlon last year,” then get back to whatever you were talking about before that.

9. Eat mint

Do this not just to make sure your breath smells OK, but also because it perks you up. Mint helps you feel fresh, alert and ready for conversation. Plus, eating something minty prevents your mouth getting too dry if you’re nervous.

10. Be prepared

No matter who you are, there’s always a possibility that your first date could lead to sex, perhaps sooner than you thought. Be prepared with protection against pregnancy and STIs, of course, but it’s also important to prepare for the hormonal rush you’ll feel if there’s strong sexual chemistry between you and your date. Those hormones affect your judgement, so don’t take any unnecessary risks like driving too fast or drinking too much alcohol.

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11. Smile!

A genuine smile makes everyone look more attractive, without exception, so give your date a big smile when you see them. Because smiling triggers your nervous system to release serotonin, it improves your mood at the same time to help you enjoy the date.

Don’t worry about minor mishaps on a first date. The less you fret about it, the more relaxed and confident you’ll feel. Keep these first date tips in mind to boost your date from average to awesome, and remember: this isn’t a job interview. It’s supposed to be fun!

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Last Updated on September 20, 2018

7 Powerful Questions To Find Out What You Want To Do With Your Life

7 Powerful Questions To Find Out What You Want To Do With Your Life

What do I want to do with my life? It’s a question all of us think about at one point or another.

For some, the answer comes easily. For others, it takes a lifetime to figure out.

It’s easy to just go through the motions and continue to do what’s comfortable and familiar. But for those of you who seek fulfillment, who want to do more, these questions will help you paint a clearer picture of what you want to do with your life.

1. What are the things I’m most passionate about?

The first step to living a more fulfilling life is to think about the things that you’re passionate about.

What do you love? What fulfills you? What “work” do you do that doesn’t feel like work? Maybe you enjoy writing, maybe you love working with animals or maybe you have a knack for photography.

The point is, figure out what you love doing, then do more of it.

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2. What are my greatest accomplishments in life so far?

Think about your past experiences and the things in your life you’re most proud of.

How did those accomplishments make you feel? Pretty darn good, right? So why not try and emulate those experiences and feelings?

If you ran a marathon once and loved the feeling you had afterwards, start training for another one. If your child grew up to be a star athlete or musician because of your teachings, then be a coach or mentor for other kids.

Continue to do the things that have been most fulfilling for you.

3. If my life had absolutely no limits, what would I choose to have and what would I choose to do?

Here’s a cool exercise: Think about what you would do if you had no limits.

If you had all the money and time in the world, where would you go? What would you do? Who would you spend time with?

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These answers can help you figure out what you want to do with your life. It doesn’t mean you need millions of dollars to be happy though.

What it does mean is answering these questions will help you set goals to reach certain milestones and create a path toward happiness and fulfillment. Which leads to our next question …

4. What are my goals in life?

Goals are a necessary component to set you up for a happy future. So answer these questions:

Once you figure out the answers to each of these, you’ll have a much better idea of what you should do with your life.

5. Whom do I admire most in the world?

Following the path of successful people can set you up for success.

Think about the people you respect and admire most. What are their best qualities? Why do you respect them? What can you learn from them?

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You’re the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.[1] So don’t waste your time with people who hold you back from achieving your dreams.

Spend more time with happy, successful, optimistic people and you’ll become one of them.

6. What do I not like to do?

An important part of figuring out what you want to do with your life is honestly assessing what you don’t want to do.

What are the things you despise? What bugs you the most about your current job?

Maybe you hate meetings even though you sit through 6 hours of them every day. If that’s the case, find a job where you can work more independently.

The point is, if you want something to change in your life, you need to take action. Which leads to our final question …

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7. How hard am I willing to work to get what I want?

Great accomplishments never come easy. If you want to do great things with your life, you’re going to have to make a great effort. That will probably mean putting in more hours the average person, getting outside your comfort zone and learning as much as you can to achieve as much as you can.

But here’s the cool part: it’s often the journey that is the most fulfilling part. It’s during these seemingly small, insignificant moments that you’ll often find that “aha” moments that helps you answer the question,

“What do I want to do with my life?”

So take the first step toward improving your life. You won’t regret it.

Featured photo credit: Andrew Ly via unsplash.com

Reference

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