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10 Ways You Can Do To Build Self Confidence Instantly

10 Ways You Can Do To Build Self Confidence Instantly

You’re vulnerable. Scared. What if you don’t take that job? What if that guy/girl doesn’t like you? You wish you could just own your power and ask for that raise, but the idea makes you cringe. You need a self-confidence boost. But how do you build self confidence when you feel fat/inexperienced/lacking credentials/whatever your critical self tells you?

build self confidence
    See that guy posing like superman? Did you know that just by taking this pose, his confidence goes up, instantly?

    1. Think: “It’s safe for me to…”

    You lack confidence because of fear. You might be scared of success or failure. Beat that fear by thinking that “it’s safe.”

    • “It’s safe for me to get that promotion. It’s safe for me to ask for it. It’s safe to…”
    • “It’s safe for me to lose 20 pounds. It’s safe for me to fit in my old jeans. It’s safe for me to be thin, even though everyone in my family is fat.”
    • “It’s safe for me to ask that girl/guy out. It’s safe to be social. It’s safe to…”

    Ta-dah! Already feel better, huh?

    2. Ask yourself: “What if…?”

    When you’re insecure, you might find it hard to even think of the possibility of success. Yet if you can’t imagine it, you won’t be able to reach it.

    However, you can open the window of imagination by asking yourself “what if?”

    • “What if I can actually get that new job?”
    • “What if I lose 20 pounds?”
    • “What if that new boy/girl likes me?”

    By asking “what if,” you by-pass the blockage of fear, and gradually start imagining how life will be when you get what you want. It’s an immediate confidence booster.

    3. Take a deep breath.

    Taking deep breaths works. You know it, I know it, everyone knows it. Right when you hands are sweating, just before you ask for that raise, take a deep breath, shake your hair and do it!

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    4. Prepare and practice.

    Preparation is 80% of success. When you find that insecurity holds you back, it might be high time for you to prepare more.

    • Afraid of your job interview? Practice interviewing with a friend. Over and over. Again and again.
    • Afraid to go on one more diet? Before starting anything, review the possibilities available, imagine how each diet would feel. Once you find a diet/process that feels okay with you, then you are ready to start doing. By the way, I didn’t say preparation would be easy. It’s not. That’s why it’s 80% of success!
    • Afraid of dating? Read a dating book. Build up your confidence by saying “hi” to strangers. Next time you see your cute neighbor, smile.

    The better prepared you are, the more confident you’ll feel, the less you will worry about “the next step,” and the more “in the moment” you will be.

    Now, you are not supposed to prepare indefinitely; preparation can easily become procrastination if you do too much of it. At some point, you will have read enough books, done enough research, watched enough videos. You will be ready to start applying your knowledge. Just start.

    5. Take your superman posture.

    Did you know that your posture affects how you feel? Well, it does. Power postures increase testosterone among other hormones, says Harvard researcher.

    So stand up straight. Imagine you are superman for a second. How would your posture be, if you indeed were superman? Yup, that’s right. Hold it. Hormones kick in, and the confidence goes up. Nice!

    6. Do the things you know you should do, but don’t.

    Postponing what you want to do only makes you think you are a loser. What does this do to your confidence?

    So next time you’re thinking, e.g., “I know I should get back to exercise,” pause. The more you don’t go back to exercise, the more you’ll have proof to distrust yourself and your abilities.

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    I know it’s not really rational to think bad of ourselves just because we don’t follow through with something, but believe me, at moments of low confidence, rationality is not our strong point.

    So if exercise is the case, just do 3 repetitions of squats right away. Or, enroll in Exercise Bliss. Or, call your gym and book your membership.

    If cleaning your garage is on your to-do list, then throw away just one thing, right now. Or, schedule one hour of de-cluttering. Just stop reading this article right now and do it.

    If you want to start your own business, then check out Appsumo’s make your first dollar. Or, ask three people today, whether they would buy your product/service – and if yes, ask for money and promise to deliver it to them in a week or two. Get into action!

    The moment you take this one tiny step, you’ll immediately feel happy with yourself. You’ll replace feeling guilty, with self-satisfaction.

    You don’t need to go to the end to be happy–you just need to take one step. That’s how you build self confidence in you and your abilities.

    7. Dress appropriately.

    Fake it till you make it, ever heard of that? That’s exactly what happens when you dress the part. Combine it with your power posture and you are unstoppable!

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    8. Visualize it. Feel it.

    Your confidence will reach its best, when success is “the next logical step.” When you reach this place that getting what you want feels as natural as the next logical step, then success is yours.

    But how do you reach “the next logical step” level? It’s a combination of preparation, thinking “it’s safe,” asking “what if,” and then once imagining success starts feeling normal, visualizing and feeling your success. Feeling as if you already have what you want.

    Warning: If you try to visualize but fail, then that means you are one step earlier, at the preparation stage. Say to yourself that “it’s safe.” Ask “What if.” With every step you take you, build more and more confidence.

    9. Let it go.

    So you have prepared. You know exactly how to ace that job interview. You’ve practiced it 1000 times.

    Now it’s time to let it go. Thinking about it even more will only cause you unnecessary stress. Take a deep breath, and do something else. Your time to shine is on its way.

    10. List your past successes.

    Sometimes when we suffer an attack from ourselves – you know, when that voice in our heads goes wild telling us we’ll never succeed – it’s super helpful if we’re already prepared with counter-arguments. That’s why listing your past successes can make a difference in whether your own self-critic wins or just stops talking.

    “People won’t like you because you are fat!”

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    “But my girlfriend does like me, even though I am fat!”

    Or…

    “You don’t meet all the requirements to apply for that job. You’ll waste your time applying for it!”

    “That’s not true. I did A and B in my last job. I managed X and Y. I did this and that…blah blah. I could do Z for this company. They’ll be thrilled to have me!”

    Got it?

    Your past successes are the best ammunition against your own self-critic. Buuut, you must already have this list, before the critic strikes! Again, preparation is 80% of success.

    And now, you are good to go! You are unstoppable. The world is at your feet.

    Photo Credit: josephleenovak

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    Last Updated on September 20, 2018

    7 Powerful Questions To Find Out What You Want To Do With Your Life

    7 Powerful Questions To Find Out What You Want To Do With Your Life

    What do I want to do with my life? It’s a question all of us think about at one point or another.

    For some, the answer comes easily. For others, it takes a lifetime to figure out.

    It’s easy to just go through the motions and continue to do what’s comfortable and familiar. But for those of you who seek fulfillment, who want to do more, these questions will help you paint a clearer picture of what you want to do with your life.

    1. What are the things I’m most passionate about?

    The first step to living a more fulfilling life is to think about the things that you’re passionate about.

    What do you love? What fulfills you? What “work” do you do that doesn’t feel like work? Maybe you enjoy writing, maybe you love working with animals or maybe you have a knack for photography.

    The point is, figure out what you love doing, then do more of it.

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    2. What are my greatest accomplishments in life so far?

    Think about your past experiences and the things in your life you’re most proud of.

    How did those accomplishments make you feel? Pretty darn good, right? So why not try and emulate those experiences and feelings?

    If you ran a marathon once and loved the feeling you had afterwards, start training for another one. If your child grew up to be a star athlete or musician because of your teachings, then be a coach or mentor for other kids.

    Continue to do the things that have been most fulfilling for you.

    3. If my life had absolutely no limits, what would I choose to have and what would I choose to do?

    Here’s a cool exercise: Think about what you would do if you had no limits.

    If you had all the money and time in the world, where would you go? What would you do? Who would you spend time with?

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    These answers can help you figure out what you want to do with your life. It doesn’t mean you need millions of dollars to be happy though.

    What it does mean is answering these questions will help you set goals to reach certain milestones and create a path toward happiness and fulfillment. Which leads to our next question …

    4. What are my goals in life?

    Goals are a necessary component to set you up for a happy future. So answer these questions:

    Once you figure out the answers to each of these, you’ll have a much better idea of what you should do with your life.

    5. Whom do I admire most in the world?

    Following the path of successful people can set you up for success.

    Think about the people you respect and admire most. What are their best qualities? Why do you respect them? What can you learn from them?

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    You’re the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.[1] So don’t waste your time with people who hold you back from achieving your dreams.

    Spend more time with happy, successful, optimistic people and you’ll become one of them.

    6. What do I not like to do?

    An important part of figuring out what you want to do with your life is honestly assessing what you don’t want to do.

    What are the things you despise? What bugs you the most about your current job?

    Maybe you hate meetings even though you sit through 6 hours of them every day. If that’s the case, find a job where you can work more independently.

    The point is, if you want something to change in your life, you need to take action. Which leads to our final question …

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    7. How hard am I willing to work to get what I want?

    Great accomplishments never come easy. If you want to do great things with your life, you’re going to have to make a great effort. That will probably mean putting in more hours the average person, getting outside your comfort zone and learning as much as you can to achieve as much as you can.

    But here’s the cool part: it’s often the journey that is the most fulfilling part. It’s during these seemingly small, insignificant moments that you’ll often find that “aha” moments that helps you answer the question,

    “What do I want to do with my life?”

    So take the first step toward improving your life. You won’t regret it.

    Featured photo credit: Andrew Ly via unsplash.com

    Reference

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