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10 Ways You Can Do To Build Self Confidence Instantly

10 Ways You Can Do To Build Self Confidence Instantly

You’re vulnerable. Scared. What if you don’t take that job? What if that guy/girl doesn’t like you? You wish you could just own your power and ask for that raise, but the idea makes you cringe. You need a self-confidence boost. But how do you build self confidence when you feel fat/inexperienced/lacking credentials/whatever your critical self tells you?

build self confidence
    See that guy posing like superman? Did you know that just by taking this pose, his confidence goes up, instantly?

    1. Think: “It’s safe for me to…”

    You lack confidence because of fear. You might be scared of success or failure. Beat that fear by thinking that “it’s safe.”

    • “It’s safe for me to get that promotion. It’s safe for me to ask for it. It’s safe to…”
    • “It’s safe for me to lose 20 pounds. It’s safe for me to fit in my old jeans. It’s safe for me to be thin, even though everyone in my family is fat.”
    • “It’s safe for me to ask that girl/guy out. It’s safe to be social. It’s safe to…”

    Ta-dah! Already feel better, huh?

    2. Ask yourself: “What if…?”

    When you’re insecure, you might find it hard to even think of the possibility of success. Yet if you can’t imagine it, you won’t be able to reach it.

    However, you can open the window of imagination by asking yourself “what if?”

    • “What if I can actually get that new job?”
    • “What if I lose 20 pounds?”
    • “What if that new boy/girl likes me?”

    By asking “what if,” you by-pass the blockage of fear, and gradually start imagining how life will be when you get what you want. It’s an immediate confidence booster.

    3. Take a deep breath.

    Taking deep breaths works. You know it, I know it, everyone knows it. Right when you hands are sweating, just before you ask for that raise, take a deep breath, shake your hair and do it!

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    4. Prepare and practice.

    Preparation is 80% of success. When you find that insecurity holds you back, it might be high time for you to prepare more.

    • Afraid of your job interview? Practice interviewing with a friend. Over and over. Again and again.
    • Afraid to go on one more diet? Before starting anything, review the possibilities available, imagine how each diet would feel. Once you find a diet/process that feels okay with you, then you are ready to start doing. By the way, I didn’t say preparation would be easy. It’s not. That’s why it’s 80% of success!
    • Afraid of dating? Read a dating book. Build up your confidence by saying “hi” to strangers. Next time you see your cute neighbor, smile.

    The better prepared you are, the more confident you’ll feel, the less you will worry about “the next step,” and the more “in the moment” you will be.

    Now, you are not supposed to prepare indefinitely; preparation can easily become procrastination if you do too much of it. At some point, you will have read enough books, done enough research, watched enough videos. You will be ready to start applying your knowledge. Just start.

    5. Take your superman posture.

    Did you know that your posture affects how you feel? Well, it does. Power postures increase testosterone among other hormones, says Harvard researcher.

    So stand up straight. Imagine you are superman for a second. How would your posture be, if you indeed were superman? Yup, that’s right. Hold it. Hormones kick in, and the confidence goes up. Nice!

    6. Do the things you know you should do, but don’t.

    Postponing what you want to do only makes you think you are a loser. What does this do to your confidence?

    So next time you’re thinking, e.g., “I know I should get back to exercise,” pause. The more you don’t go back to exercise, the more you’ll have proof to distrust yourself and your abilities.

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    I know it’s not really rational to think bad of ourselves just because we don’t follow through with something, but believe me, at moments of low confidence, rationality is not our strong point.

    So if exercise is the case, just do 3 repetitions of squats right away. Or, enroll in Exercise Bliss. Or, call your gym and book your membership.

    If cleaning your garage is on your to-do list, then throw away just one thing, right now. Or, schedule one hour of de-cluttering. Just stop reading this article right now and do it.

    If you want to start your own business, then check out Appsumo’s make your first dollar. Or, ask three people today, whether they would buy your product/service – and if yes, ask for money and promise to deliver it to them in a week or two. Get into action!

    The moment you take this one tiny step, you’ll immediately feel happy with yourself. You’ll replace feeling guilty, with self-satisfaction.

    You don’t need to go to the end to be happy–you just need to take one step. That’s how you build self confidence in you and your abilities.

    7. Dress appropriately.

    Fake it till you make it, ever heard of that? That’s exactly what happens when you dress the part. Combine it with your power posture and you are unstoppable!

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    8. Visualize it. Feel it.

    Your confidence will reach its best, when success is “the next logical step.” When you reach this place that getting what you want feels as natural as the next logical step, then success is yours.

    But how do you reach “the next logical step” level? It’s a combination of preparation, thinking “it’s safe,” asking “what if,” and then once imagining success starts feeling normal, visualizing and feeling your success. Feeling as if you already have what you want.

    Warning: If you try to visualize but fail, then that means you are one step earlier, at the preparation stage. Say to yourself that “it’s safe.” Ask “What if.” With every step you take you, build more and more confidence.

    9. Let it go.

    So you have prepared. You know exactly how to ace that job interview. You’ve practiced it 1000 times.

    Now it’s time to let it go. Thinking about it even more will only cause you unnecessary stress. Take a deep breath, and do something else. Your time to shine is on its way.

    10. List your past successes.

    Sometimes when we suffer an attack from ourselves – you know, when that voice in our heads goes wild telling us we’ll never succeed – it’s super helpful if we’re already prepared with counter-arguments. That’s why listing your past successes can make a difference in whether your own self-critic wins or just stops talking.

    “People won’t like you because you are fat!”

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    “But my girlfriend does like me, even though I am fat!”

    Or…

    “You don’t meet all the requirements to apply for that job. You’ll waste your time applying for it!”

    “That’s not true. I did A and B in my last job. I managed X and Y. I did this and that…blah blah. I could do Z for this company. They’ll be thrilled to have me!”

    Got it?

    Your past successes are the best ammunition against your own self-critic. Buuut, you must already have this list, before the critic strikes! Again, preparation is 80% of success.

    And now, you are good to go! You are unstoppable. The world is at your feet.

    Photo Credit: josephleenovak

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    Maria Brilaki

    Maria helps people create habits that stick not just for a month or two but for years and decades.

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    Last Updated on November 5, 2019

    12 Powerful Habits of a Lifelong Learner

    12 Powerful Habits of a Lifelong Learner

    Formal education is something everyone has to go through to a certain degree, and the knowledge it offers isn’t always that practical in real life. Life long learning is how you improve as a person, bit by bit and day by day.

    Life long learners recognize the importance and joy of growth so they never settle for what they currently know and always seek for improvement.

    Here are 12 habits of people who value lifelong learning have in common – see how many of them you recognize in yourself.

    1. They Read on a Daily Basis

    Whatever problem or dilemma you currently face, there’s definitely at least one decent book that discusses it and presents a variety of solutions.

    Reading is a great way to open up new horizons, train your brain and revolutionize your life. I can’t even count how many times books completely transformed the way I view the world, and it’s always a change for the better. Through reading, you can connect with successful people and learn from the lessons they share.

    Life long learners love to get lost in books and do it regularly. Bill Gates knows that reading matters a lot; on his personal blog, he reviews plenty of game-changing books.

    Due to technology, you can access a bookshelf of the wealthiest entrepreneur on this planet.

    2. They Attend Various Courses

    Whether it’s online or offline, there are countless courses you can participate in without spending a dime on it. These are great opportunities to connect with clever and like-minded people and learn from them.

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    Because of the advanced technology, you can now gain knowledge from online programs, starting from coding through self-improvement to programs from top universities.

    There are literally endless ways to thrive. What life long learners have in common is squeezing as much as possible out of these opportunities.

    3. They Actively Seek Opportunities to Grow

    Instead of spending your free time laying on the couch and watching TV, you prefer doing something creative and practical. You know every wasted minute is gone forever.

    That’s why you’d rather practice your language skills with a native-speaker you’ve met, engage in local meet up or attend a class that teaches something you always wanted to learn.

    Life long learners stay up-to-date with growth opportunities in their areas and participate in them frequently.

    4. They Take Care of Their Bodies

    “Physical fitness is not only one of the most important keys to a healthy body, it is the basis of dynamic and creative intellectual activity.” — John F. Kennedy

    A clever mind combined with a body in a great condition is the best asset you can have. Our bodies were designed to run, walk, jump, swim, lift and much more. Leading a sedentary lifestyle harms both your physical and mental sphere.

    Life long learners know the body is your temple. In order to make it flourish for as long as possible, they train regularly, move a lot and eat healthy.

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    5. They Have Diverse Passions

    Among Steve Jobs’ wise quotes, there’s one I like especially. It’s about connecting the dots:

    “You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backward. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future.” — Steve Jobs

    Each dot is some event or skill in your life, and it’s only when you go through these elements that you know how to combine them into something great.

    Having a variety of passions indicates that you love to progress. By practicing different skills, you give yourself an advantage over the rest of the people. During hard times, you are more likely to to act intelligently and solve your problems with less effort.

    6. They Love Making Progress

    If behind the efforts, there is passion and a deep desire to grow, your chances of success are way higher, compared to when you are forced to learn.

    Life long learners love to experience the constant growth and improvement. The breakthrough moments help them to notice the impressive change that took place because of the learning process. Any milestone serves as a driving force for further headway.

    7. They Challenge Themselves with Specific Goals

    In order to keep growing, you clearly define your goals. Smart goal setting is one of the tools to ensure constant growth.

    Since you love challenges, a difficult goal doesn’t scare you. Quite the opposite, it keeps you motivated and engaged.

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    Research showed that precise and ambitious goals increase the performance of an individual. As we already agreed, life long learners are people who care about their performance, hence they never stop improving.

    8. They Embrace Change

    A complete change can lead to incredible results. This is especially visible on the example of successful companies.

    Oftentimes, it’s that transformation which created space for their so-called overnight success. Twitter was originally created as an internal service to serve Odeo employees. Currently, it has over 300 million monthly active users and is considered the second biggest social network.

    As a life long learner, you know a change can lead to extraordinary results so you welcome it and stay open minded about making a shift.

    9. They Believe It’s Never Too Late to Start Something

    Some people tend to think after a certain age, they are no longer allowed to start something and become successful. The truth is, it’s just a lame excuse not to leave the comfort zone.

    Opposite to common misconceptions, there’s no wrong age to begin something. Henry Ford was 45 when he invented the Ford Model T car, which is considered as the first affordable automobile.

    Sure, for some domains like becoming a professional athlete, starting early is required. However, to learn and improve for its own sake, you are never too old.

    10. Their Attitude to Getting Better Is Contagious

    “We now accept the fact that learning is a life long process of keeping abreast of change. And the most pressing task is to teach people how to learn.” — Peter Drucker

    There’s nothing better than to see your surroundings getting involved in what you actively participate in. Oftentimes, the best way to achieve that is to inspire them and be the example. As Gandhi would say, you need to be the change you want to see in the world.

    As a life long learner, you are extremely passionate about the constant growth and people around you can sense that positive attitude. As a result, they start acting similarly.

    11. They Leave Their Comfort Zone

    Is it really better to step out of your comfort zone? The answer is always yes.

    You always embrace discomfort as you know the path to success leads through hardship and countless obstacles. Instead of being afraid of facing them, you challenge yourself to overcome more and more difficult handicaps.

    Every time you get out of your comfort zone, regardless whether you win or fail, you learn something new. That’s the part you love the most!

    12. They Never Settle Down

    “Knowledge is exploding, so you need to commit yourself to a plan for life long learning.” — Don Tapscott

    A sense of being clever enough is something you don’t experience. Without a doubt, you appreciate what you already know, but that’s never a reason to stop. You just know once you stop learning, you lose the amazing privilege humans have, namely an ability to a never-ending intellectual development.

    More About Lifelong Learning

    Featured photo credit: Christin Hume via unsplash.com

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