Advertising
Advertising

10 Things You Learn Growing Up As the Oldest Sibling

10 Things You Learn Growing Up As the Oldest Sibling

Are you the oldest sibling? There are advantages and disadvantages to being the oldest sibling, from getting brand new clothes to getting told off for your younger sibling’s mistakes.

Check out 10 things you learn when you grow up as the oldest sibling.

1. Hand-Me-Downs Were Not A Problem For You

There are some good parts to being the eldest sibling, and one of them was getting brand new toys and clothes. If you wanted something, you got the newest version – and when you grew out of it or got bored of it, it went to the next youngest sibling as a hand-me-down.

Advertising

They complained to your parents that it wasn’t fair, but you were too busy playing with your new toys to back them up.

2. You Were A Reluctant Role Model

You looked up to pop stars and your parents, while your younger siblings looked up to you. It was a lot of pressure, considering you were a child too – especially when they did something wrong and you got the blame. You didn’t want to be a role model; you just wanted to play in peace!

3. Your Parents Were Strictest With You

You couldn’t date until you were 18, but your siblings started dating at 16. You had to make sure you were home for 9PM on the dot, but your siblings just had to make sure they were home before midnight. Not that it really mattered – if you wanted to go somewhere, you would pester your parents for hours until they reluctantly agreed.

Advertising

4. You Understand The Importance Of Being Bossy

Since you’re just as likely to get in trouble as your little sister when she did something wrong, you developed eagle-eyed vision to check that they were behaving.

Normally it would play out like this; you catch your little sister putting on your mom’s make-up, so you would yell at her not to use mom’s make-up – and then your mom would yell at you for making your little sister cry. Sigh.

5. When You Passed Your Driving Test, You Became A Free Taxi

You patiently waited for years to get your driver’s license. You took your lessons diligently, and practised at home with your parents. Finally you passed your test and got a second-hand you loved – only to immediately become a taxi driver for your younger siblings. The worst part? They never paid you!

Advertising

6. You Were The Family Guinea Pig

Your parents were first time parents when you were born, and they really wanted to make sure they did it right. They tried all kinds of weird and wonderful parenting techniques on you – most which involved being strict and sticking their ground. They got bored of this just in time for your other siblings to arrive, when they decided to be more relaxed and carefree. Thanks, guys.

7. You Feel Old When You Think About How Old Your Siblings Are

It doesn’t bother you when you think about your own age, but whenever you think about your sibling’s age you feel seriously old. You can remember when your siblings were wearing nappies, and now they talk to you about politics – so weird.

8. A Free Babysitter Is Better Than One Who Costs

You had a babysitter when you were little, but your parents saw the chance to save some money when you grew older. You regularly babysat your siblings for free, and while you may have complained at the time, you secretly loved it – after all, who wouldn’t love eating all the best snacks and telling your siblings what to do?

Advertising

9. You Are Protective Over Your Siblings

Despite the fact that they always got you in trouble, you love your siblings more than anyone else in the world. You feel grateful to share their lives and honoured that they considered you a role model.

10. You’re More Capable Than You Thought You Were

Being the oldest sibling deserves some credit; you had to test our parent’s weird parenting skills, and you were the first person that your younger siblings turned to when they were in trouble. Oldest siblings are capable, calm and collected – which isn’t really that surprising when you think about it. Hurray for being an oldest sibling!

More by this author

Amy Johnson

Amy is a writer who blogs about relationships and lifestyle advice.

Beginners’ Guide To HIIT: How To Choose The Best Moves For Your HIIT Workout Everything Is Going To Be Fine In The End. If It Isn’t Fine, It Isn’t The End. Feeling Trapped? Do These 9 Things to Take Your Life Back 10 Health Benefits Of Avocado This List of 50 Low-cost Hobbies Will Excite You

Trending in Communication

1 How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them) 2 How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide) 3 The Hidden Power of Every Single Person Around You 4 The Purpose Of Friendship: The Only 4 Types Of Friends You Need In Life 5 14 Things That Make You Happy and Enjoy Life More

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Published on May 4, 2021

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

How To Spot Fake People (And Ways To Deal With Them)

They say we are the average of the five persons we spend the most time with. For a minute, consider the people around you. Are they truly who your “tribe” should be or who you aspire to become in the future? Are they really genuine people who want to see you succeed? Or are they fake people who don’t really want to see you happy?

In this article, I’ll review why it is important to surround yourself with genuine individuals—the ones who care, bring something to our table, and first and foremost, who leave all fakeness behind.

How to Spot Fake People?

When you’ve been working in the helping professions for a while, spotting fake people gets a bit easier. There are some very clear signs that the person you are looking at is hiding something, acting somehow, or simply wanting to get somewhere. Most often, there is a secondary gain—perhaps attention, sympathy, or even a promotion.

Whatever it is, you’re better off working their true agenda and staying the hell away. Here are some things you should look out for to help spot fake people.

1. Full of Themselves

Fake people like to show off. They love looking at themselves in the mirror. They collect photos and videos of every single achievement they had and every part of their body and claim to be the “best at what they do.”

Most of these people are actually not that good in real life. But they act like they are and ensure that they appear better than the next person. The issue for you is that you may find yourself always feeling “beneath” them and irritated at their constant need to be in the spotlight.

2. Murky in Expressing Their Emotions

Have you ever tried having a deep and meaningful conversation with a fake person? It’s almost impossible. It’s because they have limited emotional intelligence and don’t know how they truly feel deep down—and partly because they don’t want to have their true emotions exposed, no matter how normal these might be.

Advertising

It’s much harder to say “I’m the best at what I do” while simultaneously sharing “average” emotions with “equal” people.

3. Zero Self-Reflection

To grow, we must accept feedback from others. We must be open to our strengths and to our weaknesses. We must accept that we all come in different shapes and can always improve.

Self-reflection requires us to think, forgive, admit fault, and learn from our mistakes. But to do that, we have to be able to adopt a level of genuineness and depth that fake people don’t routinely have. A fake person generally never apologizes, but when they do, it is often followed with a “but” in the next breath.

4. Unrealistic Perceptions

Fake people most often have an unrealistic perception of the world—things that they want to portray to others (pseudo achievements, materialistic gains, or a made-up sense of happiness) or simply how they genuinely regard life outside themselves.

A lot of fake people hide pain, shame, and other underlying reasons in their behavior. This could explain why they can’t be authentic and/or have difficulties seeing their environment for the way it objectively is (both good and bad).

5. Love Attention

As I mentioned earlier, the biggest sign that something isn’t quite right with someone’s behavior can be established by how much they love attention. Are you being interrupted every time you speak by someone who wants to make sure that the spotlight gets reverted back to them? Is the focus always on them, no matter the topic? If yes, you’re probably dealing with a fake person.

6. People Pleaser

Appreciation feels nice but having everyone like you is even better. While it is completely unrealistic for most people to please everyone all the time, fake people seem to always say yes in pursuit of constant approval.

Advertising

Now, this is a problem for two reasons. Firstly, these people are simply saying yes to things for their own satisfaction. Secondly, they often end up changing their minds or retracting their offer for one reason or another (“I would have loved to, but my grandmother suddenly fell ill.”), leaving you in the lurch for the 100th time this year.

7. Sarcasm and Cynicism

Behind the chronic pasted smile, fake people are well known for brewing resentment, jealousy, or anger. This is because, behind the postcard life, they are often unhappy. Sarcasm and cynicism are well known to act as a defense mechanism, sometimes even a diversion—anything so they can remain feeling on top of the world, whether it is through boosting themselves or bringing people down.

8. Crappy friend

Fake people are bad friends. They don’t listen to you, your feelings, and whatever news you might have to share. In fact, you might find yourself migrating away from them when you have exciting or bad news to share, knowing that it will always end up one way—their way. In addition, you might find that they’re not available when you truly need them or worse, cancel plans at the last minute.

It’s not unusual to hear that a fake person talks constantly behind people’s backs. Let’s be honest, if they do it to others, they’re doing it to you too. If your “friend” makes you feel bad constantly, trust me, they’re not achieving their purpose, and they’re simply not a good person to have around.

The sooner you learn to spot these fake people, the sooner you can meet meaningful individuals again.

How to Cope With Fake People Moving Forward?

It is important to remind yourself that you deserve more than what you’re getting. You are worthy, valuable, precious, and just as important as the next person.

There are many ways to manage fake people. Here are some tips on how to deal with them.

Advertising

1. Boundaries

Keep your boundaries very clear. As explained in the book Unlock Your Resilience, boundaries are what keep you sane when the world tries to suffocate you. When fake people become emotional vampires, make sure to keep your distances, limit contact, and simply replace them with more valuable interactions.

2. Don’t Take Their Behavior Personally

Sadly, they most likely have behaved this way before they knew you and will continue much longer after you have moved on. It isn’t about you. It is about their inner need to meet a void that you are not responsible for. And in all honesty, unless you are a trained professional, you are unlikely to improve it anyway.

3. Be Upfront and Honest About How You Feel

If your “friend” has been hurtful or engaged in behaviors you struggle with, let them know—nicely, firmly, however you want, but let them know that they are affecting you. If it works, great. If it doesn’t, you’ll feel better and when you’re ready to move on, you’ll know you tried to reach out. Your conscience is clear.

4. Ask for Advice

If you’re unsure about what you’re seeing or feeling, ask for advice. Perhaps a relative, a good friend, or a colleague might have some input as to whether you are overreacting or seeing some genuine concerns.

Now, don’t confuse asking for advice with gossiping behind the fake person’s back because, in the end, you don’t want to stoop down to their level. However, a little reminder as to how to stay on your own wellness track can never hurt.

5. Dig Deeper

Now, this one, I offer with caution. If you are emotionally strong, up to it, guaranteed you won’t get sucked into it, and have the skills to manage, perhaps you could dig into the reasons a fake person is acting the way they do.

Have they suffered recent trauma? Have they been rejected all their lives? Is their self-esteem so low that they must resort to making themselves feel good in any way they can? Sometimes, having an understanding of a person’s behavior can help in processing it.

Advertising

6. Practice Self-Care!

Clearly, putting some distance between the fake person and yourself is probably the way to go. However, sometimes, it takes time to get there. In the meantime, make sure to practice self-care, be gentle with yourself, and compensate with lots of positives!

Self-care can be as simple as taking a hot shower after talking to them or declining an invitation when you’re not feeling up to the challenge.

Spotting fake people isn’t too hard. They generally glow with wanna-be vibes. However, most often, there are reasons as to why they are like this. Calling their behavior might be the first step. Providing them with support might be the second. But if these don’t work, it’s time to stay away and surround yourself with the positivity that you deserve.

Final Thoughts

Remember that life is a rollercoaster. It has good moments, tough moments, and moments you wouldn’t change for the world. So, look around and make sure that you take the time to choose the right people to share it all with.

We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with, so take a good look around and choose wisely!

More Tips on Dealing With Fake People

Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

Read Next